Ponyfinder gone wrong...

“Looks like I stand corrected” Glasses hummed, picking his fangs with a claw.

Iron Fang covers his mouth as he let out a burp. “That was good chicken.” He said licking his paws, or was it fingers?

“Does anyone else find it odd that a griffon served chicken?” Blacke asked, picking at his teeth with a wooden toothpick.

“What about the ponies eating meat?” Asked Iron Fang with a smile. As some ponies on another table was staring at them.

“Different verse, different rules,” said Dark, “although it’s a pity they didn’t have wings.”

“Now let find that place.” Asked Iron Fang as he start to get up.

“Think the owner can give us directions?” Blacke asked as he got to his feet… hooves… claws….

“I’ll ask.” Iron Fang said with a smile, as he want off to ask the griffon. “Hello, can you give me directions to Sunset Past the Moon? It my friend’s birthday over there and we want to give him a good night.” Iron Fang asked pointing at Dark.

“I will make you pay for this,” Dark muttered under his breath.

“Um… What?” The Restaurant owner said, staring at Iron fang as if he had never seen him before.

“We’re looking for a place called Sunset Past the Moon, I hear a lot of good things about it. Come on help me out, I was really hoping to give my friend a party by the end of tonight.” Iron Fang whispered to the griffon. “It was meant to be a surprise. But I don’t know my way around the city.”

“Sorry sir, but I have never heard of such a place, now do you mind?” The gryphon deadpanned before getting back to work.

“Oh sorry, thank you for the help.” Iron Fang replied before going back to the others. “That was all but unhelpful.”

“Well, if this is like any other situation, there’s only one thing to do,” Blacke said. “Send the shadiest person in the group into the shadiest alleyway and hope they come out the other side with some good information.”

“So… Me and Dark then?” Asked Iron Fang.

“Seeing as I’m bright red now, yes,” Blacke answered.

“I’m okay with this,” said Dark, before turning to Iron Fang, “but I do all the talking, capiche?”

“Aye Aye.” Replied Iron Fang as he followed Dark. “So, once we’re outside. What way do we go?”

“Just follow the other shady people,” Blacke stated as they walked out of doors. “He seems like a good candidate.” He pointed to a shifty character darting into an alley.

“I’ll let you know if we run into anyone from that mob that was after me.” Iron Fang Added following behind Dark with a smile. “This could be fun.”

Dark just loosened his crossbow as he entered the alley. Before long, he was confronted by the figure from before.

“What are you following me for?” The Pony demanded in a gruff voice, or at least they assumed it was a pony, they couldn't really tell under its black cloak.

Dark put on a friendly grin, “We’re just two new visitors to town, hoping to find a place to have a little fun, and you looked like the kind of guy who’d know where to find it.”

Iron Fang pulled out a bit and looked at it, before holding it out to the hooded pony.

“So,” Dark continued, “know a place where a couple of guys fresh off the trail can find a place to relax, and perhaps find a friend or two?”

“Look, I don't have time for this, now leave me alone!” The Pony hissed before swatting the bit away and quickly melting into the shadows of the alleyway.

“That new?” Said Iron Fang.

“Something tells me following him might lead to something interesting,” said Dark, “go get the others, I’ll tail him.”

“Let’s worry about him later, for now we have other things to worry about.” Iron Fang added, picking up the bit and looking at it.

“Alright, but let’s take a look around first,” said Dark, sliding his goggles up to his forehead. Iron Fang nodded and looked around, he saw someone and poked Dark before pointing. And they notice a brown Unicorn walking up to a door in a back alleyway before entering it.

“What do you think?” Asked Iron Fang, looking back to Dark. “Do we get the others?”

“You go,” Dark said as he slinked into a shadow, “I’ll keep an eye on it.”

“Alright.” Said Iron Fang as he walked away to get the others.

“Well?” Glasses asked when Fang reached him, “what’ve you got?”

“We may have a lead, but we can’t find out without the rest of the group. We’re playing it safe after all.” Iron Fang replied he waved for them to follow him and walked back.

“Says the son of a bitch who got his tail chased halfway across the city on the first day...” Glasses grunted, following behind the Diamond Dog.

Glasses and Blacke followed behind Terror as he led them back to where he had left Cyber. “Dark, we’re ready.” Said Iron Fang with a grin.

“And it looks like we’ve hit the jackpot,” he said as he melted out of the shadows, “look at the door.” They looked at the door and saw a carving of a moon over a setting sun. Iron Fang knocked on the door.

“Password.” a voice called from the other side of the door as a slot slid open showing the eyes of whomever was on the other side.

“Don’t forget the Tea at Noon,” said Dark.

The door slowly opened for the group, revealing an earth pony mare. “Your table is waiting for you, follow me.”

“Thank you kindly lass.” Said Iron Fang as he walked inside with the group to follow the mare.

The mare lead them in through the entrance before turning left and winding through the booths around what looked like a runway that ran down the middle of the place until they arrived at a door. “Your private room is right here, they're expecting you.” She said before turning around and making her way back towards the doorway.

“For your troubles.” Said Iron Fang giving her a bit before she left. Once she took it and left he opened the door and went inside.

“Anyone else got a bad feeling about this?” Blacke whispered as he followed the others into the room. It was a small room with a circular table taking up most of the space and is surrounded by chairs.

“We’re in a tabletop RPG, you should always have a bad feeling” Glasses muttered.

“Assuming no one can beat a Diplomacy 6, I’ll do the talking,” said Dark as they took their seats.

“Fine by me, just don’t fuck up.” Glasses said, taking a seat near the door. Iron Fang took his seat by the other side of the door.

“We can’t fuck up, if we don’t know what the job is yet.” Replied Iron Fang.

“I meant the diplomacy checks. We’re fine as long as there aren’t bodies dropping.” Glasses said matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, no bodies, please,” Blacke remarked as he took a seat that gave him a good view of the door.

A few moments later a door on the opposite side of the room as where they entered opened as a pink pegasus mare with purple hair stepped out. “Are you the ones sent by him?” She asked, eyeing the group cautiously.

“Aye, ma’am. Sorry for your loss.” Said Iron Fang with a tip of his hat.

“What do you… Oh, that.” The mare grunted as she rolled her eyes. “Anyway, on to business, you want the job right?”

“We’d like to hear what it consists of first of course,” said Dark.

“Well, I need someone to retrieve something of mine that has been stolen for me.” The mare said as she started to analyze each of the members of their group in turn.

“Sounds decent enough,” said Dark, “and the nature of this item is?”

“An old stone statue that has familial significance, if you manage to retrieve it for me you will be rewarded handsomely.” She replied.

“Is there anything… special about the statue we should know about?” Blacke asked.

“Its of a creature that is an amalgam of many different other creatures, and should also be posing as if it's singing.” The mare said with a huff.

Dark’s eyes widened slightly, “Exactly how large is this statue? So we can figure out how to transport it of course.”

“About the height of your scaly friend over there.” The mare grumbled while jabbing a hoof in Glasses’s direction. “Now are you done asking questions?”

Glasses snorted a puff of black smoke, “I do have a name, you know.”

“Is it guarded?” Asked Iron Fang giving knowing looks to the others.

“I don’t know, I haven't seen it since it was taken away!” The mare snapped, slamming one of her hooves on the table before taking a deep breath. “Sorry, that statue is just really important to me.”

“Do you know exactly where it is then?” Glasses asked, his eyes searching the mare for any signs of treachery.

“I have tracked it as far as this city over the years… but alas I still have yet to find it.” The mare said with genuine sadness, her head drooping to the table.

Blacke threw a concerned look at the others before scooting a tiny bit closer to the mare. “We’ll find your statue for you, miss…?”

“You may call me Screwball, everyone else seems to do that anyway.” The mare griped, “Seriously, where in equestria did they come up with a nickname like that!?”

“Not sure,” said Dark, “we’ll see you again when the task is complete.”

“Please bring it back in one piece would you? This statue is irreplaceable… and I don't know what I would do if it was destroyed.” The mare said as she gave the group a weary smile.

“My fair lady, we’ll do everything in our power to do this task as you have asked for you.” Replied Iron Fang with a bow.

“If we’re done with the job interview, I say we borrow this private room for some revelry tonight. Aye?” Glasses said, glancing around the table. Iron Fang blushed at that as he looked back at the dragon.

“I guess we can finally have that drink, Iron,” Blacke said with a smile. “You’re paying.”

“Damnit…” Said Iron Fang with a sigh, before smiling weakly at them. “Well, first time for everything aye?”

“Aye,” Blacke agreed with a gleam in his eye. Iron Fang knew one thing, he was going to lose all his bits after this. And be embarrassed to death.

“I WANT ANOTHER!!!” Blacke yelled at the top of his lungs, throwing his glass at the floor with a crash before an enormous, shit-eating grin spread over his face. “I think I like *HIC* thi-ssssssss….”

Iron Fang just smiled at this. “On second thought, this was way worth it.” He said drinking his mead.

“Have to admit,” Dark said while sipping a glass of whisky and watching the current performance, “worse ways to end a contract meeting.”

“Funny thing is, the mares who work here are egging him on.” Iron Fang replied. The diamond dog froze when he felt something set next to him. He slowly turned to see a mare that was smiling in a disturbing manner. “Umm, parlay?” He asked not sure what to do, as his mind panicked.

“Don’t look at me,” said Dark, “she’s obviously interested in you.”

“Ssssay, Cyy-ber, who’sh *HIC* who’sh dat behind you?” Blacke asked as a mare once again handed him a filled glass and another mare giggled next to him.

Dark looked to see a gryphoness with blue highlights in her feathers. She even wrapped her wings around Dark, staring into his eyes.

“Well, it’s not often you see a griffin in these parts,” Dark said. She purred and ran a claw over Dark chest… before booping him on the nose and walking away.

“Guys, what do I do?” Iron Fang asked with a little fear in his voice. The mare was now drawing on his chest with her hoof.

“Ffffuck if I know *HIC*!” Blacke called out before trying to take a drink from his glass, only to have about half of it end up all over him. “Hey, hasss anypony ssseen Villain?”

“Ow, my head… How much did I drink?” Asked Iron Fang, it didn’t take him long to find his bit’s were missing. “Oh bollocks!” He then looked around to find, he was by a park… What he was doing here and how he got there he would never know. Also where were the others?

That when he heard snoring in a near by tree and looked up. Blacke was hanging upside down from one of the branches, bat-style and snoring like an earthquake.

“Dark?” Asked Iron Fang looking at the hippogryph in the tree. “That you man?” He called up.

“No, I don’t snore,” said Dark’s voice from behind him.

“What happened to you?” Iron Fang asked noticing a small lipstick mark on him.

Dark just smirked before walking away, “Come on, we need to have a discussion.”

“What about him?” Iron Fang asked pointing at the tree before said half pony griffon fell out of the tree.

Blacke let out a moan of pain as the rest of his body fell to the ground. “Why do I keep falling from things… and why do I feel like I got ran over by a bulldozer?”

“Ugh… did someone get the license plate of that truck?” Glasses said, stumbling out of the bushes with a slight limp, lipstick stains covering his black scales.

“The lightweight awakens.” Said Iron Fang with a smile. The diamond dog felt something odd in his hat and had a look. It was a piece of paper, he took it out and started to read.

“Fuck you, my con is higher than yours, me passing out before you is literally impossible.” Iron Fang was too busy reading as his cheeks got redder.

“Oh my… I think I'm married?” Iron Fang said with huge eyes.

“Guys,” Blacke spoke up raising a shaky claw. “The world won’t stop spinning….”

“It’s called a hangover man… fuck...” Glasses moaned, “what did we do last night!?”

“I’m married…” Said Iron Fang again as he drops the paper. “When did this happen!?!”

Blacke slowly rolled over and got to his feet, groaning the entire time. He lifted his claw to rub his eyes and noticed something strange. “Who tied a scarf around my ankle?”

“I can’t be married!? I have no idea who she is!” Iron Fang screamed in panic. “SOL! Why didn’t you stop this!?”

Silence…

“Oi, get ahold of yourself!” Glasses said, whacking him over the head with his open palm, “You’re making the headache worse!”

“Ouch… Thanks, I needed that. I think?” Said Iron Fang rubbing his face. “So where are we?” He asked picking up the paper and putting it back into his hat.

“Um, guys?” Blacke said trying to get the group’s attention, his eyes bugging out.

“What now!?” Glasses snapped, rubbing his temples.

Blacke simply raised his right claw, the one with the scarf, and pointed at the large castle in front of him.

“Don’t tell me…” Asked Iron Fang as he stared at it. “Please don’t tell me…”

“Fuck me...” Glasses breathed.