Mary Sue Fixes Equestria

Episode 6

I yawned and stretched out my hooves gracefully as I woke, a large and beautiful smile upon my perfectly formed muzzle. After I slipped to the floor without a sound, I opened my gorgeous wings and began to make my way dowstairs. I was staying with young Twilight Sparkle, of course, since I was not the sort to demand my own home simply because I had a title.

I was so modest.

I smiled to myself and hummed a tune as I trotted slowly into the kitchen, pushing a few chairs into the proper position. I then let my magic engulf my horn and, a moment later, a generous spread of food—a full cooked breakfast with haycon, chickpealata sausages, tomatoes, hash browns and baked beans; bread rolls with jam, butter, cheese, and eggs; multiple pastries, not limited to brioche, croissants, pain au chocolat and pain au raisin; spaneighs churros with chocolate sauce—now laying on the table. Though I had tried traditional cooking and baking before, I had always found that using my magic to make meals from thin air was much more practical; it wasn't the fanciest food, and I could possibly have done more to make the breakfast more refined, but at the end of the day, I didn't want to brag and belitte my mother's magic student.

Disappointingly, however, the door was thrown open just as I exited the kitchen to wait for Twilight Sparkle to awaken. In the doorway stood two young unicorns; one, the shortest, was a well covered, light blue colt and the second was a gangly, off-yellow teen. The grins on their faces were massive, their chests rising and falling at breakneck speed as they panted and gasped for air. When their eyes landed on me, however, they yelped and fell to the floor. The smaller of the two then uttered, "P-P-Princess Carmine Carnation Cerise T-Tiara!" He gulped before he finished with a squeak, "W-why are you h-here?"

I laughed and opened my wings, stepping forwards and bringing both colts to my sides in an embrace. Snips and Snails—in the last few days, I had come to know them well—laughed and snuggled up closer to my sides. I was not particularly surprised at their sudden relaxation; during my imprisonment, I had mastered the skill of soothing other ponies—a fact which was only made the more impressive when one was to consider my general lack of contact with ponies in general. But, naturally, I would never advertise that. Why make anypony else feel inferior?

"I live here now, Snips," I said as I pushed the colts away and folded my wings back to my side. "My mother, Princess Celestia of Equestria, sent me to watch over her student, Twilight Sparkle; the new lavender unicorn in town, if you haven't heard of her." I laughed a little. "I must admit, I'm rather shy—but she makes even less of an attempt to make friends than I do."

Snips gasped quietly. "But Princess Carmine Carnation Cerise Tiara... You must be one of the most loved ponies here in Ponyville!"

I blushed. "Well, I am flattered. But I am a shy mare; I never intended to get such fame. But, you are here for a reason, little ones. Whatever is wrong?"

The colts were quiet for a moment as they gazed up at me in awe, their mouths open in small 'o' shapes. After a few moments and a gentle cough on my part, though, they shook their heads and, in perfect unison, cried, "Haven't you heard? There is a new unicorn in town! She's got more powers than any unicorn, in, well, ever!"

I raised an eyebrow slowly. "My feathers are tingly. Something about this seems... Wrong."

Snips and Snails were quiet and began to paw at the ground with their hooves. "Well, she's really powerful. And she says she vanquished an Ursa Major, so we brought one to town so we can watches some awesome magic!"

I shook my head slowly. I could have gotten angry, but I was too lovely to do so.

I wasn't worried—genuinely. In my three hundred year inprisonment, an Ursa Major had gotten into my palace. I had defeated it easily, using the many spells I had at my beck and call.

But now, I didn't have to take the limelight. Being a shy mare, I didn't want to give anypony more reason to shower me with the praise and adoration I deserved—but Twilight Sparkle was powerful too, and so I immediately teleported up to her room, woke her gently with a spell and then teleported (with ease) myself, the unicorn, her dragon, and the two colts outside. The magician, Trixie Lulamoon, had long since run away, now cowering in the corner.

"Princess Carmine Carnation Cerise Tiara! Help us!" the unicorn cried, her eyes massive. I shook my head.

"No. It must be Twilight Sparkle who does this. Because I am too shy."

Twilight Sparkle gulped but stepped forwards. She then wrapped the Ursa—only a Minor, pity—in her magic and began to soothe it with music. She then filled a water tank with milk, not without a magical nudge from me, and levitated the Ursa back to its cave. When she had finished, she fell to the floor in exhaustion, but I managed to catch her before she hit the ground with my super speed. I then stood and said to Trixie, "You should know better than to brag, my little pony."

Trixie scowled and reared up before she fled in a puff of smoke. I rolled my eyes and then began to walk back to the library once more, waving to Twilight Sparkle's would-be-friends on her behalf.

I was just that good.