Just Girls Talking Dirty

A Saturday afternoon in October found seven friends hanging out at the mall. They'd all arrived individually and had met up in pairs and trios before finally gathering as a single unit at the food court. They were far from the only CHS students killing a Saturday at the mall; they saw many of their classmates wandering around, headed for the multiplex, or chilling at the food court like they were.

Ever since meeting up with Fluttershy at CoolStory, Sunset had noticed the shy girl was unusually perturbed. Once the seven of them had rounded up food from the various mall vendors and found a large table to occupy, Sunset addressed the subject. "Something bothering you, Fluttershy?"

"Huh?" Fluttershy looked up, blinking. "Oh, it's...it's nothing," she said.

"Nuh-uh," Rainbow said as she shoved a forkful of chili tots into her face, "you've been out of it for a couple of days now. Spill, girl."

Fluttershy sighed. "Well," she said as she sprinkled dressing on her grilled chicken salad, "it's just...I've been getting some weird looks from boys at school lately. I mean, it's...it's just..." She gestured vaguely with her fork. "They sneak these quick looks at me, then duck away, like they weren't looking, you know?"

"Well, attention from boys is hardly a bad thing, darling," Rarity said as she tore a chunk off a croissant. "Why, it doesn't surprise me at all, with your grace and beauty!"

"But it's just now happening," Fluttershy said, "a-and it's not...it's not like the way boys look at you. And, well...it's a whole lot of boys at once." A few wisps of cherry blossom pink hair fell across her eyes. "It's making me nervous," she whispered.

"Hmm." Sunset frowned thoughtfully, scanning the tables around them. There were indeed a couple of boys from CHS hanging out at the mall; as she looked, she saw two boys sneaking quick peeks at Fluttershy, then looking away. One crossed gazes with her; his eyes widened, he turned to his friend, and they hurriedly grabbed up their food and took off. Sunset's eyes narrowed. "Yyyyyeah, something's...not right." She glanced off to her left and saw Flash Sentry at the counter of one of the burger kiosks. As he was handed his food, she raised a hand and called out to him. "Hey Flash! Over here!"

Flash turned to look in her direction, smiled, and waved. He headed toward their table; as he did so, Sunset noticed his eyes flick to Fluttershy and a small frown cross his face.

Pinkie snagged a chair from an empty table and made space for Flash between herself and Applejack; Flash sat down. "Hey girls," he said. "What's up?"

Sunset swiped a chicken nugget through ketchup. "Flash, do you know what's up with the guys at school lately?" she asked without preamble.

"Uhh...I have no idea what you mean," Flash said hesitantly as he paused with his burger halfway to his mouth, his eyes flickering nervously from Sunset, to Fluttershy, to Twilight, then back.

"Yeah you do," Sunset said flatly, rolling her eyes. "I can still read you like a book, you know. Now tell us what's up."

"Please," Fluttershy insisted. "I just...really need to know. It's making me nervous. More nervous than usual, I mean."

Flash looked at Fluttershy, then sighed. "Alright, but...don't shoot the messenger, okay? I mean, I know you're all gonna be pretty mad, but...just don't get mad at me, alright?" As everyone watched him expectantly, he took a bite of his burger, set it down, wiped his hands, then pulled out his phone and started going through it. Once he swallowed, he said, "So about like...Monday, I guess? One of the guys on the website staff was taking some student life photos around campus. Nothing weird or anything, just kids going to class, classroom stuff, stuff like that.

"Well, one of the pictures he took caught Fluttershy in the middle of a yawn." He handed his phone to Sunset, who examined it, then passed it around the table. In the picture, Fluttershy had her mouth wide open and her eyes half-closed, and her hand was held close to her mouth in a loose fist. When Rainbow saw it, she snickered; when it reached Fluttershy, she covered her mouth with one hand and giggled.

"Well, that's certainly a little embarrassing," she said as she passed the phone back to Flash. "It's not that bad, though. I mean, it's actually kind of funny."

"Yeah, well, there's more," Flash said. "You see...someone else saw that picture and made this meme out of it." He grimaced. "It isn't very nice, and a lot of people who heard it called him out on it. But, well..." He shrugged. "You know how when you see something, you can't unsee it, and it sticks with you? And how the craziest things meme these days?"

"Yeah?" Rainbow drawled hesitantly, narrowing her eyes.

Flash sighed and looked down at the table, then brought up a new picture on his phone and slid it back over to Rainbow. Frowning, she picked it up and looked. Her eyes widened and her face paled. "Oh, that's just sick," she said in a disgusted tone.

"Wh-what is it?" Fluttershy asked timidly.

Rainbow passed the phone to Sunset, who looked at it and frowned. "Ugh."

Flash looked up at Fluttershy, a guilty, miserable look on his face. "W-well," he stammered, "they kinda...kinda pointed out how with your mouth open like that and your eyes, y'know, half closed and where your hand was, it looked, um..." He ducked his gaze. "Kind of like a giving-a-blowjob face," he mumbled.

Fluttershy blinked twice. "Huh?" Twilight handed Flash's phone to her with trembling hands, and she looked at the screen. Saw how the image had been edited.

She nearly dropped the phone into her salad.

In big, bold, outlined block letters, the caption "INVISIBLE PENIS" had been added to the photo.

Flash reached over and snatched it back, quickly closing the image and putting the phone away. "So yeah," he said. "Guys have been passing that back and forth, and it's gross and it's wrong, but..." He sighed. "Thing is, even though most of us think that's kind of a sick joke and it needs to go away, well..." He coughed nervously. "It's got guys talking, even guys who are pissed at the guy who started that." He looked up at Fluttershy. "It's..." He shrugged. "You're one of the prettiest girls at CHS, and you're also really, really hot. Like, super hot. There are a lot of guys who'd ask you out if they thought you'd say yes. But they don't because, y'know, you're so shy and stuff."

Fluttershy blushed. "R-really?"

"Yeah." Flash took a sip of his drink. "Umm...anyway, like I said, you're really hot." His face burned red. "So when this stupid meme started going around, even though most of us hate it, well..." He coughed. "It's kinda hard not to think about it. I mean, a lot of guys dream about having a girl as hot as you, y'know, doing stuff like that..."

"Oh my," Fluttershy whispered.

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "You sure keep goin' on about how hot Fluttershy is," she said. "Ah thought you were tryin' t' git back with Sunset?"

"Gah!" Flash looked at Sunset, who was smirking playfully at him. "I—!" He gulped. "It's not like...I mean...!" His head drooped. "Look, I think Fluttershy's hot, okay? I can't help that. And, yeah, that dumb meme's gotten to me too, a little." He looked up at Fluttershy, his cheeks beet red. "I mean, maaaybe I thought about, umm..." He coughed. "And I'm sorry, that's wrong, but sometimes you can't help it, you know?"

Fluttershy blinked. "You...you thought about me...doing that...to you?" she asked, ducking her eyes coyly, her cheeks a brilliant pink.

"A little," Flash admitted, averting his gaze. "I mean, it's hard not to."

"Oh, it's hard alright," Pinkie said teasingly as her hand disappeared under the table. Flash jumped and yelped, his chair scraping across the linoleum as he skittered back.

"Pinkie!" Twilight cried, eyes wide and cheeks red. "You didn't...!"

Pinkie smirked and laced her hands behind her head. "I'm just teasing," she said playfully.

"Gah," Flash grunted. "Don't...do that," he rasped as he scooted closer to the table, edging away from Pinkie as best he could.

"First Sunset, then Twilight, and now Fluttershy," Rainbow muttered. "Is there a girl at this table you don't wanna fuck?"

"GAH! I'm NOT LIKE THAT!" Flash cried. He paused, then added in a flustered tone, "I mean, okay, yeah, I wouldn't, y'know, not wanna...with, well...most of you," he trailed off. "But you do know you're like, the hottest girls at school, right?"

"Thank you, darling," Rarity said. "I think."

"I...guess that's a compliment?" Twilight ventured. "It is, right?"

"More or less," Sunset said with a playful smirk. "But we're getting off the subject here. So this stupid meme, that's why all the guys are giving Fluttershy these weird looks?"

"Yeah," Flash said, grateful to have the focus off of him. "I'm sure it'll pass in a few days. I mean, these memes go away as soon as something else comes along, y'know? Hell, the IWTCIRD meme didn't even get this...far..." He trailed off, eyes widening as he mentally backtracked through what he'd just said.

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Th' Ah-whut-now?"

Twilight had her phone out and was rapidly tapping away at it. Her face turned green. "Eww," she said.

"What is it?" Rainbow asked.

"You uh...really don't wanna know," Twilight said, putting her phone away.

"Umm," Fluttershy spoke up, playing with her hair. "I'm...not gonna be, well...attacked or anything, am I? I-I mean, the boys at school wouldn't...would they?"

"What? No!" Flash cried, recoiling in disgust. "Guys at CHS aren't like that! Even if anybody acted on it, the worst they'd do is maybe ask you to, y'know, that."

"Oh. Okay." Fluttershy took a deep breath. "Okay."

"Okay?" Rainbow repeated hotly. "Okay?! The hell about any of this is okay?!"

"Well," Fluttershy said calmly, "it's a little disturbing that the boys at school all want me to, umm...suck them off..." She ducked her head and blushed. "But as long as I'm not in any danger, it's..." She frowned. "It bothers me, but it'll go away, and I don't feel violated, just...kinda creeped out." Her frown tightened. "But I do want to have words with the boy who started this whole thing."

Flash smiled grimly. "I can help with that..."

* * * * *

Dr. Swab clucked his tongue and shook his head as he went over the report in his tablet. He fixed a half-amused, half-reproachful glare on the teenage boy lying prone on the examination bed. "So, would you care to go over again what made you think it'd be a good idea to stick a shop-vac hose directly on your penis?"