The lunch hour at Canterlot High School is a timeless institution. After four hours of morning learning, the hundreds of students gather in the cafeteria to relax with their friends, enjoy the delicious and healthy food provided by the friendly and courteous lunch lady, and give their tired minds a break before the slog of afternoon classes. As was the norm for CHS, some tables were occupied by cliques, others by unlikely groups of friends who gravitated to each other despite being from wildly different walks of life.

One such table was populated by seven teenagers. They were regarded by most of their peers as the most popular, "coolest" kids at CHS, and no matter what was going on at school, no matter how busy their schedules were, no matter who else they hung out with the rest of the time, they always had lunch together, every single day.

"So, Spring Break's coming up," a girl with long, wavy red-and-gold hair said. "I'm thinking of going down to Canterlittle, catch some sun."

"Ooh, that sounds like fun! I'd love to show off my bikini body on the beach!"

"Hmm. Ah reckon Ah could slip away a spell. Shucks, Ah don't wanna spend mah whole break doin' chores."

"Well if you girls are goin', you know I'm—"

A high, ringing chime filled the air, followed by a bright golden flash which lit up the entire cafeteria. All conversation stopped, every eye turning to the source of the flash.

Shocked gasps, startled exclamations, and a few screams filled the silence. Then, after a beat, a lot of wolf-whistles and catcalls followed suit.

Phones were whipped out and pointed at the source of the disturbance.

"Whut th' HELL is THAT?!" cried a girl with bright red freckled skin, violet eyes, and long, curly orange hair.

"That" appeared to be a teenage girl, much the same age as most of the teens present in the cafeteria, with pale greyish-pink skin, a slender build, long legs, large, firm breasts, bright blue eyes, and curly pink and violet hair with blue streaks.

But a couple of things about her weren't quite...right.

Like the large pair of feathery pink wings sprouting from her back.

Or the long, curly tail that hung from her lower back, matching her hair perfectly.

Or the long, tapered horn jutting from her forehead.

Or the pair of upright pony ears that peeked up through her hair.

Or the fact that her face, while quite attractive, couldn't be called a human face by even the most generous definition, given that she had a short, rounded muzzle.

She was also completely naked.

"I dunno, but I wanna fuck her," said a boy with dark blue skin, wild, choppy rainbow-colored hair, and dark red eyes.

"Pervert," the redhead sitting next to him muttered, slapping him upside the head.

"I'm kinda with Blaze on that one," another boy said. Handsome, with sharp cheekbones and stormy grey eyes, he had dusty purple skin and short, tousled dark pink hair. He wore black jeans, a black leather jacket over a grey T-shirt, black loafers with white socks, and horn-rimmed glasses. He leaned back in his chair, arms spread across the back. "And I don't often say that."

"Ugh," the redhead groaned. "You're both perverts..."

"Oh come on!" Blaze cried, throwing out a hand to gesture at the naked alien girl, who was looking around wildly, her eyes wide and confused. "Look at her! She's more stacked than you, Dawn!"

"He's not wrong," another girl at the table said laconically. She had dark yellow skin, red eyes, and dyed black hair that was a soft pink at the roots. She wore tight leather pants, a tight leather coat, and tight high-heeled leather boots.

"Guys?" the fourth girl at the table said. This girl had pale yellow skin, sleek golden-brown hair with a wavy, almost random bright pink streak that looked like cupcake icing, and bright blue eyes. She wore a pink sweater with a picture of a cow on the front, along with the word "MOO" which went right across her ample bosom, as well as indigo jean shorts and pink flats. "Maaaybe instead of fighting over Blazie and Dusky being perverts and whether or not the naked alien girl has a better body than Dawn-Dawn, we should worry more about why there's a naked alien girl in the cafeteria and, umm...maybe try to take her someplace where it's a little less not-right to be naked?"

"Miss Pie is right," the last member of the group, a boy with cocoa cream skin, bright red hair, and green eyes, wearing crisply-pressed black slacks with shiny black loafers, a white button-down dress shirt, and a black tie said, standing up. "We should intervene—"

"WHAT is going on here?"

"—or perhaps not," he finished, sitting back down.

Magenta heels clicked sharply across the tiles of the cafeteria as the noise level dropped to nothing. A tall, gorgeous woman with amber skin and snapping teal eyes, dressed in a magenta skirt, blazer, and heels with a seafoam green blouse, walked briskly between the tables, her wavy copper-and-gold hair bouncing and swaying as she walked. She cast withering eyes at any student whose phone was out; phones were quickly put away, their owners shifting guiltily.

"Young lady, why are you parading around naked—" she began, then trailed off, looking the naked girl up and down. Her brow furrowed, her mouth working in confusion. "What in the—" She squinted as she studied the girl's inhuman face. Her eyes widened. "Flurry Heart?!" she whispered.

The girl rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Umm...hi, Auntie Sunset," she said. She looked around. "Wow, is this Canterlot High? It's...kinda cold here..."

Principal Sunset Shimmer raised an eyebrow. "You're naked," she pointed out. "Which, incidentally, isn't really a good idea in this world, so if you could—"

Flurry Heart blinked. She looked around again. Saw that everyone in the cafeteria was wearing clothes except her. "Huh. My bad." Her horn glowed with a bright golden aura, and a fuzzy pink bathrobe with rose and violet trim appeared out of thin air, wrapping itself around her body and cinching itself loosely with a cream-colored sash. Matching fuzzy slippers appeared on the floor, and she stepped into them. "Better?"

"It'll do," Sunset said. She frowned. "Now, what in the he—actually, why are you—" She shook her head. "I have so many questions." She sighed. "Come with me to my office, I'll...I'll write to your aunt..."

"Principal Shimmer?" Sunset looked behind her to see seven students approaching, varying looks of concern and confusion on their faces. The speaker was the girl who, for all intents and purposes, looked identical to her. "What's going on? Is this...is this an Equestria thing?"

Sunset sighed. "Don't worry about it, Dawn. I'll take care of it."

Dawn frowned. "Mom," she said patiently, "you know you need us to run damage control."

"Besides, we wanna get to know this weird alien girl! Hi, I'm Bibi Pie, what's your name?"

"I'm Flurry Heart," Flurry said, looking the group over. "Wow, I think I actually recognize a couple of you." She frowned. "Not most of you, though. Huh."

Sunset groaned. "Fine," she snapped. "You kids can come along if you want. Blaze, I know what you're thinking, and don't even."

"I wasn't—" Prism Blaze broke off at Sunset's quelling glare, gulping as her hand moved to the pendant dangling around her neck. He gulped, then shoved his hands in the pockets of his windbreaker. "Well she started it by being naked," he said petulantly.

Flurry tilted her head. "Started what?"

"Nevermind," Sunset said.

"Pervert-boy here only has one thing on his mind," Cinnamon Apple said with a smirk. "It's all about sex with him. If you don't put him in his place, he won't let up."

"Oh," Flurry said. She looked Blaze up and down, then blushed faintly. "Well, I'll think about it," she said with a smile.

"YES! Dude, score!" Blaze cheered, pumping a fist. All four girls in the group slapped him upside the head.

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Why'd I take this stupid job again?" Shaking her head, she marched out of the cafeteria, the group of teenagers following behind her.

* * * * *

Since she had a crowd of kids determined to trail after her, Principal Shimmer abandoned the idea of taking Flurry to her cramped office, and instead led the group to the conference lounge, stopping only long enough to pick up her journal. While she wrote a message to Princess Twilight Sparkle, the seven CHS students went around the table introducing themselves...or re-introducing themselves, in some cases.

"I'm Dawn Shimmer," Sunset's daughter said. "Principal Shimmer's my mom."

"Prism Blaze," Blaze said with a lazy grin. "Son of the world's most famous super-hot rock star!"

"And notorious pervert," Dawn muttered.

The freckled red girl with the curly orange hair waved as she took off her cowboy hat and laid it in her lap. "Howdy," she said. "Ah'm Cinnamon Apple."

"Dusk Horizon," the purple boy with the glasses said.

"Eris," the goth girl said in a bored tone.

"My name is Alto Sax," the well-dressed boy said.

"And I'm Bibi Pie!" Bibi said cheerfully. "Hi again!"

Flurry tilted her head. "Bibi? That's a weird name. I mean, I'm guessing you're Auntie Pinkie's kid, but that doesn't sound like—"

Blaze gave a sleazy grin. "Her real name is—"

"Don't say it," Bibi growled.

Blaze's eyes lit up with mischief. "It's—"

"DON'T SAY IT!" Bibi warned, half-rising from her chair.

"BANANA CREAM PIE!" Blaze yelled, cackling.

"AHHHH!" Bibi launched herself over the table at him, hands outstretched into grasping claws.

"BIBI!" Principal Shimmer snapped. Bibi froze in mid-air, completely ignoring the laws of gravity as she hung a full foot over the top of the table.

Flurry frowned. Her horn lit up; Bibi disappeared in a flash and reappeared, looking slightly frazzled, in the chair next to her. "Umm...I don't understand," she said. "Why are you so mad at him?"

"Bibi really hates her given name," Dawn explained.

Bibi dug her fingers into her hair. "Mom and Dad are so stupid," she muttered. "I mean, hello? Banana Cream Pie? What were they thinking?! I can't walk around with a name like Cream Pie, that's...that's humiliating! And I can't even work with Banana, I mean, it's a dumb name and if I shorten it to Nana I sound like, well...old!" She sighed. "So I started going by Bibi."

Flurry's brow furrowed in confusion. "Okay, the Banana part I get, but what's wrong with Cream Pie?"

"Seriously?" Cinnamon asked, raising an eyebrow.

Bibi groaned and whispered something in Flurry's ear. Flurry's eyes widened. "Okay, yeah, that's bad," she agreed. "Yeesh."

Principal Shimmer rolled her eyes and smiled. "Okay, if you kids are done with the introductions and the comedy routine," she said, snapping the journal closed, "it's time for Flurry to answer a few questions. Starting with what the hell happened to you?" She looked Flurry over in concern. "Is something wrong with the portal? You came out...stuck like that?" A nauseated grimace twisted her face. "Should I warn Twilight not to come? Are you...are you okay, does it hurt? I—"

Flurry held up a hand to stall her. "Umm...actually? I did this to myself," she said sheepishly.

Principal Shimmer trailed off. "...what?"

Flurry poked her fingertips together. "It was...brthdyprsntfrmbyfrnd," she mumbled.

Principal Shimmer frowned. "I'm sorry, would you repeat that?" she demanded sternly.

"It's a birthday present for my boyfriend," Flurry repeated, cheeks flushing. "Umm..." She ducked her head. "The last time Auntie Twilight was here, she brought Mom and Dad some...some magazines from your world as, y'know, a..." She shook her head. "A-anyway, they showed human couples, umm...you know..."

Principal Shimmer stared at her, nonplussed. "Porno mags? Twilight gave your mom and dad porno mags?"

"She thought they'd be interested!" Flurry said defensively. "And they were, they really were!" She sighed. "Anyway, I...I wanted to see too, so I snuck one out of their bedroom. Then my boyfriend saw it, and..." She smiled a silly smile. "He got super turned on by it, so I thought I'd surprise him for his birthday by turning myself into a human girl." She shrugged helplessly. "I kinda screwed it up though," she admitted.

"Kinda...kinda screwed it up," Dawn repeated flatly. "Kinda screwed it up?"

"Hey, she got the important parts right at least," Blaze said. Dawn slapped him upside the head.

"So that's why you have a porn star body?" Bibi asked. "You were copying dirty magazines?"

Flurry blushed. "A-actually," she said, "I...I was trying to make my body look like Auntie Sunset's. I mean, from pictures Auntie Twiley showed me."

A silence fell across the table. Seven pairs of eyes slowly turned to stare at Principal Shimmer.

Principal Shimmer ducked her head and coughed into a fist, covering a blush. "Ahem. Alright, that...that more or less explains your...appearance," she said. "S-so, umm...when is this spell supposed to wear off?"

Flurry gave her own fake cough, her ears drooping. "I've, umm...I've been stuck this way for two and a half weeks," she said. "Auntie...Auntie Twilight thinks it might be permanent..."

Principal Shimmer gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. "Oh Celestia," she whispered. "Oh, Flurry, I'm so sor—"

"Oh, it's not so bad," Flurry said with a smile. "I actually kinda like it! Sure I get some funny looks sometimes and, well..." Her ears flattened against her skull. "Mom and Dad had a fit and there was this whole misunderstanding and Dad may or may not have declared war on Discord before I explained the whole thing..." She coughed. "Umm. But anyway, yeah...they calmed down, and Auntie Twilight's still trying to find a way to undo this, but I told Mom and Dad not to worry because I still have all my magic and stuff, so it doesn't really matter, right?"

Principal Shimmer pinched the bridge of her nose. "Alright, fine," she said. "That's not my problem, my problem is getting you home." She frowned. "But...why'd you come here? I mean..." Her frown deepened, furrows creasing her forehead. "Better question, why'd you come out of the portal naked? That shouldn't have happened..."

Flurry laughed sheepishly. "I...didn't come through the portal," she said.

"She just kind of appeared in the middle of the cafeteria in a flash of light," Dawn supplied.

Principal Shimmer blinked. "What?"

"Okay so you know how I said I still have all my magic?" Flurry began in a rush. "Well...sometimes it fritzes up a little bit. I...kinda accidentally teleported myself here? I don't know how, I was just popping down to the kitchen for a snack. Next thing I know, I'm here." She shrugged.

Principal Shimmer's face went pale. "You mean you're officially a missing princess?"

"I guess?"

The journal started to glow and vibrate.

Principal Shimmer stared at it as though it were a live cobra.

"Oh horseapples..."

Rolling her eyes, Dawn picked it up and read the note aloud. "Dear Sunset: Thank you for letting me know about Flurry. I'm surprised she managed to teleport herself to another dimension! I'm letting Cadance and Shining Armor know where she is so they don't completely freak out. Umm...which you're probably already doing because of the, umm...anthromorph form she's presently in. Which...well, she probably explained it, but it's not a portal accident, don't worry. Just sit tight, I'll open the portal and come get her as soon as I can, but I'm in Appleloosa right now and can't get away. It might be a couple of days, but I trust you to look after my niece and keep her safe. Flurry, you behave yourself over there! Love, Twilight."

Principal Shimmer sighed. "Okay, fine," she said tiredly. "I guess you'll have to come stay at our place until Twilight can come get you."

"Great!" Flurry said cheerfully. She looked at Prism Blaze, then at Dusk Horizon. She grinned. "I think I'm gonna enjoy this little vacation..."

"NO ENJOYING!" Principal Shimmer screamed. "This is already messed up enough without...without you...enjoying things, young lady!"

Flurry pouted. "Awwww..."

Author's Note

Did I just create an entire Equestria Girls next generation cast for the express purpose of a gag where anthro teen Flurry Heart pops up naked in the middle of the CHS cafeteria?

Yes. Yes I did.

And like many of my really stupid ideas, this thing massively got away from me.

At the very least, we'll be seeing these characters again from time to time in the Talking stories.

Far more realistic outcome? Yet another goddamn spinoff story. @_@;;

Anyway, character notes:
Dusk Horizon: Twilight Sparkle's son. For all intents and purposes, he's a teenage Ian Malcolm.
Dawn Shimmer: Sunset and Flash's daughter. Looks, dresses, and acts exactly like her mother. Wears her own variant of the outfit Sunset wore in the first two movies, but with heels instead of boots.
Banana Cream "Bibi" Pie: The daughter of Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich. Has an affinity for Mabel Pines-style sweaters. Personality-wise, she's basically a toned-down Pinkie Pie with a healthy dose of teen angst to temper the crazy. She has her parents' reality-warper abilities.
Prism Blaze: Rainbow Dash's son. Looks like his grandpa, dresses like a slacker, and is every bit as perverted as his mom. Has been trying to get into Dawn's pants since middle school.
Alto Sax: The son of Sweetie Belle and Button Mash. Very proper, very formal, very stuffy. Always dresses like it's picture day.
Cinnamon Apple: The daughter of Big Macintosh and Sugar Belle. Looks and dresses like pretty much all the Apples, but takes more after her auntie Apple Bloom than her parents. Very sassy.
"Eris": Fluttershy's daughter. Real name unknown. Father unknown. Disaffected goth teen.

And of course:
Flurry Heart: Crown Princess of the Crystal Empire. To her parents' consternation, she seems to be vying for the title of Princess of Lust. Managed to get herself stuck in an anthro body while trying to give her latest boyfriend a kinky surprise for his birthday. Isn't particularly bothered by (a) being an anthro, (b) being trapped in another dimension, or (c) wandering around naked.

And yes, she's 18.

There's some other characters I've created that didn't appear in this, but we may see them in the future.