Just Girls Talking Dirty

The end of another long day of classes at Canterlot High School. The warm spring weather and the scent of flowers and trees blowing through the open windows made the students long to be anywhere but in class, listening to boring lectures and doing pointless busy work. As the final bell rang, many students left campus, while many others headed for their afterschool activities on-campus: the marching band met in the band hall for afternoon practice, other student musicians occupied the music room, the Cooking Club met up in the Home Ec room, and so forth and so on. The detention chain gang filed into the most boring classroom in the school, where Vice Principal Luna lay in wait. The soccer pitch was being repaired after a spring thunderstorm had damaged it beyond usable condition, so the soccer team was sharing gym floor space with the basketball team, running whatever basic drills they could run indoors.

In the music room, the Rainbooms tuned up for a practice session and impromptu jam with a group of other student musicians. With Rainbow Dash occupied with soccer practice, Sunset Shimmer took over on lead guitar and vocals; Flash Sentry, Octavia Melody, and DJ-PON3 were all present, ready to join in.

"Think you can keep up with us?" Sunset asked Octavia.

Octavia scoffed. "Please. I am not without experience in more popular music. Perhaps you will have difficulty keeping up with us," she added, flashing a smirk to DJ-PON3, who smirked back and flashed a thumbs-up as she ran through a systems check.

"Alright," Sunset said with a chuckle. "Well, Fluttershy wrote a new song, so let's start, and—"

The PA crackled to life. The group blinked, looking at each other, then at the speaker. When several seconds passed in silence, Sunset shrugged. "Huh. Okay, let's—"

A loud thump and the sound of things being pushed around came from the PA speaker.

Flash scratched his head. "Principal Celestia must be straightening her desk and turned on the PA by mistake," he said.

"Probably," Applejack agreed. "Alright, ready when y'all—"

A hushed, inaudible mumble of conversation crackled out of the PA, along with a loud breath. The Rainbooms and guests shot irritated glares at the PA. Sunset shook her head. "I'll go down and tell her she's got the PA on," she said. "Just hang tight a—"

The next sound out of the speaker made Sunset freeze in her tracks:

Soft, muffled moaning, undeniably Principal Celestia, punctuated by a wet slurping noise, accompanied by a male voice grunting and breathing heavily.

"Uhhh..." Flash said, swallowing and staring at the PA speaker as though he was a deer facing oncoming headlights.

The slurping, muffled moaning, and grunting continued...

* * * * *

The cooking club stared at the PA, mixers and rolling pins and measuring spoons forgotten. Students whispered back and forth to each other. Lyra Heartstrings and Bon Bon looked at each other with wide eyes, then back at the speaker. "That can't possibly be—"

* * * * *

"—what it sounds like, can it?" Trixie Lulamoon asked, blinking confusedly at the PA speaker in the cafeteria.

"Uhh...yyyyeah," Bulk Biceps said quietly, red eyes wide. "I mean, I think so? I've never actually heard it in person..."

"I have," Ditzy Doo said. "That's exactly what it is." She took a bite of a blueberry muffin.

Trixie blinked and stared at her. "And when have you heard that?" she demanded.

Ditzy snorted. "I do have a boyfriend," she said. Blushing, she added, "I...can't actually get him in my mouth, he's way too big, but..."

"OKAY OKAY! TOO MUCH INFO—"

* * * * *

"Dude," Soarin said. Soccer and basketball practice had ground completely to a halt. Everyone, even the coaches, stared in shock at the PA.

Rainbow Dash's jaw was nearly on the floor. "Holy crap, Principal Celestia's giving somebody a blowjob in her office? Just...right in her office, just like that?"

Coach Spitfire blew her whistle sharply. "RAINBOW DASH!" she yelled.

"What?" Rainbow cried, throwing a hand at the speaker. "I mean, come on! Whaddya want? The principal's doin' THAT an' we can ALL HEAR IT!"

Miss Harshwhinny, who doubled as the basketball coach, rushed over, a scowl on her face. "Coach Spitfire," she said brusquely, "this is intolerable. This is insufferable! This is inexcusable!"

Spitfire rolled her eyes. "No shit, you think?" she snapped. "Here's an idea, why don't you go down there and tell her we can all hear...THAT?"

The grunting rose in volume, then trailed off, followed by a cough and a retch. "Oka—*cough*—okay, your turn," Celestia's voice issued, husky and a bit strangled.

"And there went the cum," Rainbow Dash said flatly as all the boys in the gym struggled to look anywhere but at the girls.

Miss Harshwhinny's scowl deepened. "Ahem. Yes. I...think not," she said. "Besides, surely her sister will—"

* * * * *

Vice-Principal Luna buried her face in her hands as the sounds of rustling cloth and moving bodies issued from the speaker, followed by a different kind of wet, slick slurping and sharp, pitched gasps from Celestia. She dragged her hands down her face just enough to look out at the detention gang with flat, dead eyes. "Go," she said. "Just...just go."

Snips and Snails grinned lasciviously. "No way!" Snips said. "And miss this?!"

Luna glared at them. "Go now or it's two weeks of extra detention," she said.

The boys exchanged a glance. "Worth it," they said in unison.

Luna sighed. "Fine." She looked at Scootaloo. "And you?"

Scootaloo ducked her head. "I, uhh..."

* * * * *

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle stared at the PA, their homework long forgotten, as the sounds of Principal Celestia being eaten out continued to issue forth. Across the table from them, Twilight Sparkle's face was flushed, her glasses hanging precariously on the tip of her nose.

"Okay! Kids!" Miss Cheerilee said a little too brightly. "I think it's time to CLOSE the library now, so if you'd—"

"Yeah yeah, go ahead," Apple Bloom said. "We'll jes' go meet our sisters in th' music room, so—"

Cheerilee facepalmed. "Nevermind," she growled as she stormed off to the stacks to loudly, noisily shelve some books.

* * * * *

The girls and one boy in the music room stood around in awkward silence, staring at the PA. Most of them were beet-red. Fluttershy was keeping up a quiet littany of "oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness" in the corner.

"Wow," Pinkie said at length. "Whoever he is, he's really going after it."

"Surely she must...must be aware the entire campus can hear this...right?" Rarity asked, fanning herself and refusing to look anybody in the eye.

For his part, Flash Sentry was acutely aware he was the lone boy in a room full of very attractive girls. The sounds from the PA had stirred a certain...reaction he couldn't control, and he did his best to hide it behind his guitar, but the pressure only grew more unbearable the longer it dragged on, made all the worse by the company in which he was listening to their, frankly, very attractive principal being pleasured. "Umm...I..." He coughed.

"Need to run to the bathroom and jerk off?" Pinkie suggested. Everyone stared at Flash; many of the girls were smirking.

"Uhh..." Flash ducked his head, his face and ears burning red.

"Ahh...nngh...oh god..."

"You're so wet...the smell's driving me crazy."

"I'm burning up...god, it's been so long..."

The group looked at each other, eyes wide as they realized what was about to happen.

"Umm...should we l-leave the school and...and maybe not listen to this?" Fluttershy asked.

"We positively, absolutely should," Octavia said firmly.

Nobody moved.

The sound of things being shoved off Celestia's desk onto the floor shook the PA speaker.

"So we're all gonna stay here and listen to some random guy rail our principal?" Sunset asked, looking around the room. Everyone shrugged guiltily. "Okay then," Sunset said, sitting down and setting her guitar aside.

* * * * *

"God, it's been so long..."

"Holy crap she sounds pent up," Lyra said.

The sound of things being shoved off Celestia's desk onto the floor shook the PA speaker.

Celestia's heavy, desperate breathing came, distorted, as she neared the microphone. They heard the clicking and tapping of something striking the receiver.

* * * * *

Celestia let out a sharp gasp, followed by a low, ragged moan. The muffled sound of flesh slapping against flesh, barely audible underneath Celestia's breathing, filled the silence of the cafeteria.

"Trixie...does not know how to feel about what she is hearing right now," Trixie said tonelessly.

"Wow, doing it on her own desk," Ditzy said in an impressed tone. "Never expected that kind of thing from Principal Celestia." She frowned. "I've put muffins on that desk..."

Bulk Biceps had his eyes closed. His body was shuddering, soft hisses of breath escaping him. The girls eyed him oddly. "Uhh..."

"Quiet," Bulk said. "I'm putting myself in that room in my mind..."

"EW!" Trixie cried. "Pervert!"

"I don't think either of us have room to call anybody else a pervert," Ditzy pointed out. "I mean, we're sitting here listening to this."

Trixie frowned. "You have a point," she admitted sourly.

The slapping sound of flesh on flesh grew louder and sharper, and Celestia moaned louder...

* * * * *

The slapping sound of flesh on flesh grew louder and sharper, and Celestia moaned louder...

The coaches had tried to restore order, then given up, and were now busy trying to find a way to kill the PA speakers. In the gym, that was easier said than done, as the gym's PA speakers were much more powerful than those in the classrooms and were mounted in the rafters. The basketball and soccer kids milled around, listening to Principal Celestia's lusty romp with a mixture of embarrassed, flustered, confused, nauseated, and lustful reactions.

A boy from the basketball team drifted over into the soccer group. Rainbow barely registered his presence behind her before she felt a hand on her ass, kneading her through her shorts. She absently drove a fist into the groper's gut, then stomped on his foot. He staggered way in pain.

Soarin frowned. "Remind me to report that guy to Vice Principal Luna later," he said.

"Thanks," Rainbow said. She shifted awkwardly, then leaned closer. "I kinda do want my ass grabbed right now," she admitted. "Just...not by some random guy I don't know." She grabbed Soarin's hand and placed it on her crotch.

Soarin stiffened. "Umm..." He coughed. "That...that's not your ass," he said numbly.

"I know," Rainbow said lecherously.

* * * * *

The slapping sound of flesh on flesh grew louder and sharper, and Celestia moaned louder...

"So your sister's kind of a freak, huh?" Snails asked.

Luna glared at him. "She's your principal," she said. "And so am I. Show some respect."

"AAHHH! HARDER!!"

"But yes...Celestia is kind of a freak."

"MORE! GIVE ME MORE!"

"Bikini pictures," Snips said insistently. "I will pay you anything."

Luna stared at him. "Did you just—are you seriously asking me to sell you half-naked pictures of my sister, your principal, for you to drool over and masturbate to?"

"Yes," Snips said. "Yes I am."

"Oooh...OH! OHHHHHHH!"

Luna groaned. "I'll just...I'll just post something on MyStable when I get home," she said. "I'm sure I've got plenty of our vacation pics lying around..."

"I'm gonna come—!"

* * * * *

"I'm gonna come—!"

"YES! COME INSIDE ME! I WANT IT ALL!"

"Holy HELL," Apple Bloom said, eyes wide.

Twilight frowned, adjusting her glasses. "Well that certainly isn't setting a good example for her students," she said.

"Umm...Twilight? I'm pretty sure she doesn't know the PA's on," Sweetie Belle pointed out.

"Huh? Oh. Well...yes, of course. But still!"

"OH GOD! OOOOOOOooooooohhhhhh...."

Twilight fanned herself with a notebook. "W-wow," she breathed heavily. "It's...it's really that good, huh?"

"Eh, not so much th' first time," Apple Bloom said offhandedly. "It gets better."

The others stared at her.

"Uhh...is what they say on TV, Ah mean...heheh..."

* * * * *

"OH GOD! OOOOOOOooooooohhhhhh...."

Flash had long since given up the fight and his decency and was furiously masturbating in the corner. The girls were pointedly ignoring him—or trying to. "HEY! Don't jizz on anything we might have to touch, okay?" Sunset admonished him.

"This is happening," Fluttershy muttered to herself. "This is happening. This is happening..."

The intercom fell largely silent save for the heavy breathing of Celestia and her lover.

"So it's...it's over now, right?" Applejack asked hopefully. "They're done?"

"Sounds like it," Pinkie said, drumming a muted roll followed by a loud cymbal crash that, by sheer coincidence, punctuated the instant Flash blew his load all over the wall.

"Well. That's lovely," Octavia said drolly.

"Perhaps..." Rarity began delicately. "Perhaps we should, ahem, make a discreet exit before she realizes the PA system is on—"

The sound of Celestia's desk scraping across the floor tore out of the speaker, followed by a panicked yell.

"AH! NOT THERE!"

Rarity blinked. "Oh. Oh my."

Applejack frowned. "Now whut'n th'—"

Celestia let out a ragged yell which was punctuated by a loud, hard THUMP as her desk shook.

Everyone stared at the PA speaker.

* * * * *

"AH! NOT THERE!"

Lyra's eyes widened. Bon Bon facepalmed.

Celestia let out a ragged yell which was punctuated by a loud, hard THUMP as her desk shook.

"Buttsex?" Lyra asked quietly.

"Buttsex," Bon Bon answered flatly.

* * * * *

Ditzy's eyes widened. "Oh my gosh," she said as the thumping of the shaking desk and Celestia's sharp, ragged gasps rang out of the PA. "She's taking it up the butt super hard!"

"Trixie is...somewhat impressed," Trixie said. "And...feeling very conflicted about all this..."

"I need to pee," Bulk groaned, crossing his legs.

"Nothing's stopping you," Trixie pointed out archly.

"I DON'T WANNA MISS ANYTHING!"

* * * * *

Quite a few students had disappeared from the gym. The coaches weren't paying attention when the disappearances took place, so they assumed the kids had simply fled and gone home for the day.

If they'd bothered to look under the bleachers, they'd have discovered the truth was vastly different.

Luckily for a few dozen students in serious danger of being suspended, the sound of Principal Celestia getting fucked in the ass drowned out all the very naughty things happening under the bleachers.

* * * * *

The jaws of the kids in detention hung open. Luna had planted her face on her desk, her hair fanned out around her.

"Miss Luna?" Scootaloo asked. "Is...is this normal?"

"Covfefe," Luna mumbled unintelligibly into her magazine.

"Hey, you know," Snips said with a sly grin, "there's enough of us here we could have a lot of fun with Miss Luna."

"Heh, yeah, Luna's pretty hot," Snails agreed with a stupid grin.

Luna lifted her head and glared dully at them. "Don't poke the bear," she growled.

"Uhh, we weren't gonna poke a bear, eh?" Snails said. "We were gonna poke y—"

Luna picked up a large pair of scissors that sat on the corner of the desk and made one loud, deliberate snip.

"Uhh...sorry," Snails said.

"Yeah, it's...it's just the...y'know...thing goin' on up there! It's gettin' to us!" Snips said frantically.

Celestia's desk thumped so hard the PA squealed. She let out a wild, animalistic yowl.

Luna sighed. "I'm outta here," she said. "You kids...jerk off or something. I don't care anymore."

"TOO HAAAAAAARD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

* * * * *

"TOO HAAAAAAARD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

Cheerilee rolled her eyes and snorted. "Oh, come on," she said derisively. "A woman your age can't take it up the ass without screaming like a prom queen getting her cherry popped?"

The girls at the study table spluttered and stared at her. "WHAT?!" Twilight cried.

Cheerilee stiffened, her face going pale. "Nothing!" she squeaked, turning on her heel and marching robotically away.

"Oh shit...your ass is pulling me in..."

* * * * *

"Oh shit...your ass is pulling me in..."

"Ah did NOT need t' hear that!" Applejack ranted at the speaker.

"COME INSIDE MY ASS!" Celestia screamed. "GIVE ME ALL YOUR CUM!"

Octavia turned faintly green. "I would never have suspected Principal Celestia to have...quite this side to her personality..."

"In other words, she's super freaky," DJ-PON3 said, her glasses halfway down her nose, revealing her wide, astonished red eyes.

A series of sharp thumps punctuated by hard slaps sounded from the PA, accompanied by fast, loud grunts. Then, suddenly, it all just stopped.

"Haaa...haaaaaaa..." Celestia panted.

"Welp," Sunset said dryly. "That's it. Show's over."

"You sure about that?" Applejack asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh god...you're amazing," the man's voice said huskily. "You took it all the way in, damn..."

Celestia exhaled a long, slow breath. "It's been years since I had a man in my ass," she said. "Shit...you need to clear out before anybody sees you, there's still kids here..."

"Oh fuck, right," her lover said. "Call you later."

Clothes rustled and zipped. The office door opened and closed. Silence fell, save for Celestia's heavy breathing, which slowly tapered away. They heard her fumbling around, getting dressed, straightening her office.

The group looked at each other awkwardly.

"Well...that happened," Sunset said.

"Yeah, that happened a lot," Pinkie agreed.

"Umm...I think we...we should probably call it quits for the day," Fluttershy said. "Umm...I don't think I can concentrate on music right now."

Sunset grimaced. "Yeah," she agreed, picking up her guitar and her gig bag and starting to put it away. She glanced over at Flash. "Go wash your hands before you pack up," she said.

"Yeah yeah," Flash grumbled.

"Here, lemme get that door for you," Pinkie said hastily. "Don't want you touching it with your cum-cum hands!"

"Ha ha," Flash said sourly. As he left the room, he made a point of running his hand through Pinkie's hair, smirking at her in passing.

"EWWWWWW," Rarity opinied. "Gross gross gross!"

"Eh, that wasn't the hand he was fapping with," Pinkie said absently. "I was watching the whole time." She noticed everybody staring at her. "Whaaaat?"

* * * * *

Luna leaned against the wall outside Celestia's office, arms folded, tapping a finger against her forearm. Students had filed past her on their way out of the building, none of them daring to look her in the eye.

Celestia walked stiffly out, her clothes noticeably rumpled, her hair tossed and tumbled. "Oh! Hello, Luna. Shouldn't you still be minding detention?"

Luna shot her a glare. "I should be putting you in detention," she said sourly. "Did you enjoy your little afternoon delight?"

Celestia blinked, feigning innocence. "Why, I have no idea what—"

"I believe we should move the PA system to my office for a while," Luna said testily. "At least until you can learn the difference between a microphone that's off and one that's on." With that, she turned on her heel and stalked crisply away.

Celestia frowned in confusion. "Microphone? Wha—" Her eyes widened. She rushed back into her office...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" everybody who was still on campus heard, before the PA system was clicked sharply off.