Something to do With Screws I Think?

'It was a summer day for me, everything was bad though, my life went from the lowest of worst to a happy joy filled life,' I am Gerry, 'I am a human right now, but I know something is going to happen soon to me.' After he thought that, a bright white appeared along with a pony with a device of some sort.

"Hello there, may I interest you in trading from the life you have now to come join ours?"

"Can I decide how I look, and what is it like?"

"Yes, and it is a place with friendship, very little evil, and you are guaranteed a happy life in, Equestria where you become a pony!"

"Sweet, open up the format so I can choose how I look, hmm." 'Foal options are filly and colt, the grown options are stallion and mare. Then there are options besides pony, oh? There is a way to choose your magic type, and what race of pony you are, what happens if I select all three at once? Another option appeared, it is alicorn, the bio says you become a ruler, and you get to have all types of magic, interesting.' He chose the alicorn along with a hidden button, he then made himself a filly. Then he or rather she now, chose red hair with a crystal like purple tail, her length of hair was so long that it touched the floor, she chose her parents to be two names she recognized, Filthy Rich and Spoiled Rich. 'Oh ho ho, this will do greatly, they deserve what I do to them soon, then they will be happy to call me their daughter only to get rejected after I become an alicorn, and say that Discord and Fluttershy are more parent-like to me, and I would then flash a screen with every time she beat me, then show the one time she was kind. Then her reputation would be ruined permanently and she would hate herself for doing that, course if this is going into the world that is only slightly canon, there will be eight princesses before I come, and one queen. That will mean I will be the ninth princess.' When she was done, she looked into the mirror, and thought she was just stunning even without a dress, and to make sure she was a female, she checked the button labeled female, and asked the bot that was just standing there, if she was female. Then she clicked accept tossing her into the world she was at, and at the age of birth, so she was awake through every single thing.

"Your baby has arrived! it is a unicorn, no wait, it is a pegasus, it is an alicorn! what will you name your filly?"

"Crystal will be the first name, Burning will be the middle name, and the last name will be." Said Spoiled and Filthy Rich at the same time.

"I wanna be named Cadence." The just born filly said. Which shocked everyone in the room, including the alicorn that heard the news about an alicorn born from a family of earth ponies, as she only just walked in to the room.

"Did, that pony just talk?" asked the purple princess.

"I wanna be named Crystal Cadence! the full name Crystal Burning Cadence, it fits with my tail and hair, only thing is that I want to be with Cadence in my name, like Mi Amore Cadenza or Cadence, you know the alicorn that runs the crystal empire." Twenty three years later.

"Oh I hope Shining didn't find out about the secret chat over tea." The worried black unicorn muttered walking back and forth. Then the bushes rattled, and out came Mi Amore Cadenza, not crystal cadence for your information.

"Sorry if I'm late, what did you invite me to anyways?"

"Tea, and a nice friendly chat."

"Don't you mean interrogation?"

"It doesn't have to be, so which do you prefer out of all types of drinks?"

"Tea, like you said, tea especially that tea that tastes like the smell of flowers, that's my favorite tea."

"Shortflower crunch? Interesting, but I haven't had coffee yet, so I am for the most part, tired so I'm having coffee." The two sat down and started drinking, making light talk until the question was asked. "Why didn't you tell me you were married?"

"I didn't remember at the time, seeing as we were both drunk to the-"

"I have the power to detect lying too, also your drink wasn't alcoholic, it was regular lavender cider, quite rare and costly though."

"Fine, I did it because my husband, Shining Armor, doesn't really seem to be able to fend for himself, without my intervention."

"You two manage well on your own, you should've put a flower next to your right ear, make people think you're single or both, I think that mean that you're looking for an upgrade, the left ear signifies your married."

"How do you know that kind of stuff? That is from Yak Yakistan."

"Really? I thought it was from Hawaii in another dimension."

"Since you aren't asking what I was hoping you would, hey flyingturret208, will you marry me if I break up with Shining Armor?"

"You sure? Just because I am secretely the brother of Twilight doesn't mean that Shining would be ok even if he knew."

"If he tries to hurt you, you have my permission to blast him."

"Sheesh, IMA FIRIN' MAH LAZER is basically what you are telling me to do, I would even if it is risky, I do care for you, Shining is just as bad as the royal guard."

"I know, which is why I'm glad I met you. You can stop future wars before they start, you even have magic that is overpowered."

"Shining, I know they are over this way they are right there, on the far end of that bridge." Said Screwball.

"No they aren't, don't mess with me." Said Shining.

"Why can't they see us flyingturret208?" Asked Cadence.

"First this is TheLocalCannon, flying just took the co-pilot seat, second he isn't experienced in camouflage magic."

"Camouflage magic? Only pony alive that can do that is Twilight."

"Also Star Swirled, he is still alive, just in hiding."

"Good idea, but no he is dead."

"Nah he is very much alive, I even have a tracker to track everypony in this world, even the Yaks."

"Are you sure? Show me a live image of him."

"He is in Discord's dimension, which I can't get live feed from without Discord's permission."

"How about feed from two seconds ago?"

"Good idea, here it is."

"Somepony help, please let me out of Discord's dimension oh no, here he co-" Star Swirled was cut out of his sentence as a draconequus appeared on screen.

"Shut it you, you don't have anyone coming for you." Said the draconequus.

"Should we show this to Twi or Fluts?"

"Both, they will know what to do"

"Okay Cadence."

"Isn't it great to be different, isn't it great to be exactly who you are, when you learn to start accepting yourself, you'll be come a shining star." sang Crystal. "Hi Pinkie, how are you today?"

"Great, I have ten parties today, Fall Formal, three birthdays, and six weddings."

"Pinkie, do you want some help?"

"No! you can't."

"Why is that?"

"Pinkie promised someone not to tell you."

"Oh ok, wish I knew, oh well great and omniscient Pinkie see ya later."

"Don't try to trick me, there is nothing to guilt trip me with, though one of the weddings are around midnight."

"Who's wedding is it?"

"Cadence and FT208/TLC's wedding."

"Which Cadence? Me!!!! or Mi Amore's? Though it must be mine, since Mi Amore is married."

"No, it is Mi Amore's, divorced from Shining, since he is as bad of a guard as his guard."

"I wish I would get married some day."

"Don't stallions line up just to even meet you let alone marry you?"

"Yes, but none of them actually care for WHO I am rather than WHAT I am, they all want more good publicity, that or to make my publicity bad, like a troll."

"You need a party, I think I might have a party for you before the one at midnight."

"Hey there Crystal! It's been what? A week since our last date? I just want to ask you one thing." Said the stallion named Flawless Guardian. "Will, you marry me, Crystal Burning Cadence?" He said after getting down on one knee.

"You actually love me?" Said Crystal in joyful shock. "I have dreamed about you, there was a nightmare once of you walking up and stabbing me for confessing my love to you, and you want to marry me?!"

"So, no?"

"No no no, it is yes, I WILL MARRY  YOU FLAWLESS!!!" Shouted the over joyed pony. "I always thought that you thought I was weird, since I could talk at birth, even chose my last name."

"Good, the party Pinkie mentioned for you, is our wedding."

"Our wedding is tonight! ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! It's the best day ever for me." Later that day. "Honey, the wedding is almost ready. Flawless?" The wedding got moved so they could have the other wedding that night.

"Mi Amore? Where are you Mi Amore? The wedding is going to start soo- LET GO OF ME, GUARD HELP ME, THERE IS AN INTRUDER, HE IS ATTACKING ME RIGHT NOW IT IS A CHANGELING!!! THERE IS A CHANGELING IN THE KINGDOM WE NEED TO MAKE A CODE WORD FOR ANYONE THAT DOESN'T GET AFFECTED BY MY OWN CUSTOM SPELL! DON'T TRUST ANYONE OTHERWISE!" When he was done screaming, another group of changelings came across the fight, there was also somepony who came to join the fight against the changelings, one that he recognized, Crystal Cadence, but instead of being in a gown, she was in armor using a chakram, also a Nimcha, which reminded me of my six swords. I then summoned my rapier, scimitar, backbone, falcata, arming sword, and my favorite weapon that is from millennias ago, the sword my mentor passed down to me before he died in combat, The Sword of Flying Cannon oddly it was always called that since it was forged with magic properties, which was probably why my mentor passed it down to me before the death he knew was coming. The sword was bound to me, I tried to give it back, but the next day it was in my hands, I tried to stop it from being connected to me, but it failed. I threw it off a cliff, since when I swung it, anything random could happen, unless I could channel my inner power,then I could freely do what I want, the sword just came back to my back, I gave up and asked how it works. Then during the changeling attack, they knocked me upside the head and I disintegrated all my swords except for the broadsword into the ether, a place one I have access to. "Where am I now?"

"Oh no oh dear, he is awake! He is awake! The legend is awake! What shall we do Queen?" Said a black figure with some greenish blue on the back.

"What! That knock-out spell would knock Lauren Faust out for a millennia, it has only put him out for ten minutes!"

"Her name isn't Lauren Faust just so you know."

"Shut up you, whoever you are"

"flyingturret208."

"I'm TheLocalCannon."

"What's your name I said."

"My name is both of the names I said. I have a personality disorder or you could say I have a split personality whichever you prefer." Said the timelord that was born from a unicorn and a timelord, making him a unicorn timelord.

"Yeah? well, I have your sword, the one you didn't toss into your storage thing, think it is a cutlass."

"Broadsword actually, also, you can't keep it forever, not even Discord has the ability to break an enchant on it."

"What kind of enchant is it?"

"It is a protected enchant, no matter what anyone did, no one could break it."

"Let me try then, gttgrjfk, what is heking vac, wah cernt ee chalk carractly. Why was I unable to talk correctly?"

"You can't break the protected enchant, that is what happens if you try. Which is why I wasn't scared." Then he summoned his sword that was protected and cut gashes as a warning into Chrysalis's front left and back right hooves.

"AH how did you manage to lift your sword with magic?" The bug queen questioned in shock.

"I am one of the strongest ponies in Equestria, hard to control, and for the most part unbeatable, putting a changeling in place of me was actually not such a bad idea, I don't ever need to show my full strength, even in my dreams people can't imagine more power than I."

"If your claim is true, then all I need is to put a mind control spell on you, and you will then be able to let me dominate Equestria."

"You weren't listening, I said only one control spell works on me, I am the one who developed it, even if you knew it, your heart is so cold you couldn't even use it, for you must have a heart so pure that nothing can contaminate your purity, not even Discord's discorded spell."

"Oh really? Funny you should mention that spell, it just so happens I mastered that spell." The bug queen tries the spell on him, but it has no effect. "Why isn't it working? It always works."

"Ow my head, you used an ache spell! You are dumb, now I can't use my levitation magic, and it just so happens that my broadsword was directed at your chest above you. Too bad too, you could've been an ally to Equestria, all your changelings will be reverted in due time though, I know about your clone, also the changeling that left your hive to learn to create love for themselves."

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"

"MY QUEEN! ARE YOU ALRIGHT? OH YOU WILL PAY FOR HURTING THE QUEEN LET ALONE KILLING HER."

"Boy you are dumb, I was trained by a professional in combat, also the person who gave me the broadsword. I seem overpowered, but soon I will fade in and out of existence soon, to save balance so, Equestria will be weakened for oh bout ten to one million millenniums."

"You leave your hands or something away from him changeling, or else I will turn you into chocolate rain and cotton candy." Hollored Screwball from wherever she was.

"Heh, oh yeah? I can do as I please I'm a changeling."

"Yeah well guess what, one that pony is a chaotic being and two, I can turn into a changeling, or a griffin, or the sun itself." Said the black pony. "Oh yeah by the way, I might consider sparing your life if you tell me where everyone you've kidnapped is, also your magic repellent thing sucks, I can use my magic against you, which is really weird, guess I have mostly changeling  magic that is bout as good as Chrysalis's so yeah."

"You have a headache remember? disabling your magic, so you should be begging to me to not touch you let alone harm you."

"Correction, Screwball should, I don't have a headache anymore, but she doesn't have her magic, so yeah, sorry bout this" He drew in a long breath "TASTE THE SULPHUR OF MY WEAPONS IN MY ARMORY MOTHER 101 ERROR." The room was covered in sulphur, which caused the changeling to sneeze until all the sulphur was balled up in one tiny particle. "I need to put this somewhere, hey changeling, open wide, or else." Terrified the changeling opened his mouth as the sulphur went down into his stomach, then the changeling puffed up like a massive beach ball, and morphed into something small, and ran to the bathroom. "Relax, it will go away in about thirty minutes, it was either that or we all suffocate in sulphur."

"Why wasn't it already choking us?"

"it was from my spell I used, I could control where it went, so I aimed it at the areas around his mouth and nose, so where he couldn't inhale one piece unless he tried."

"makes sense, I think."

"Princess of chaos talking about sense? there's a first for everything isn't there?"

"HEY REALLY also, writer that is a cool movie your watching, David Blaine: What is Magic on Netflix."

What did I say about breaking the 4th wall?

"I need to stop doing it, but you did want to mention that thing, it is epic too."

"Let's get out of here now, I will teleport us, glad that changeling led us to our friends and or brides."

"Wait, aren't you going to punish him?"

"Making him has to urinate, and take a number two to get out a lot of sulphur, that is punishment enough, now where is Thorax?"

"Uh, I'm Thorax."

"You're Thorax?! Sorry bout that, if I knew, I wouldn't of done that if I knew, hey would you like to be teleported into the past so you can make it so that changelings become good? Then this will still be here, but you can have your kingdom when you own it, reform the changelings here."

"Uuhhhhh sure I guess?"

"Man, I'm glad I'm home, with my lovely wife, our neighbors are probably happy too Isn't that right Cadence?" Squeaked flyingturret208 or TheLocalCannon, it was confusing at this point.

"Yes, honey I am glad about how things have been." Said Mi Amore.

"Aahh I love you, Flawless Guardian" Said Crystal.

"I love you too, Crystal." Said Flawless.

"What's next for us?" They all said in unison.