To Greener Pastures

Waking up in the middle of the night to hear two random strangers humping and banging on the wall would definitely give you a bit of a headache.

Waking up in the middle of the day to hear something banging on cell bars was HEADSPLITTING.

Opening his eyes to try and see where he's at, immediate blindness.

"Creature, I hope you understand me! Because we are going to see the princesses very soon." A blurred 4-legged animal said, his vision was taking a few minutes to sort itself out, but by the time it did the animal was gone.

"D-did that thing just talk?" He said to himself and out loud before getting up to his feet from the bed. If the cell was anything to go by it seemed that he was in some sort of prison or dungeon.

"Well, he did mention a princess..." He said out loud once more and puts his hand on his head, this headache was NOT going away.

He walks up to the cell and starts to rattle the cell doors.

Nothing budged.

Gotta give these... "Things" credit, they know cleanliness is godliness... In fact... This entire cell looked more accommodating than that piece of shit apartment he was in.

He then recalled a few things and gasps a bit. "H-hey! Anyone?! What's going on with my apartment?!"

The animal had come back, and now that his vision was bearable he could see that this animal was a ... horse?

It seemed to look like a guard, and it didn't look pleased but albeit a little bit shocked that Ashton could even speak in the first place. "Huh, that's new. A monkey that can talk!" It sounded like a female... A mare?

"Huh, that's new. A female that can GUARD!" Ashton antagonised in a smart-ass tone to which the guard didn't take kindly for.

Pissing her off wouldn't be the smart thing to do... Suppose that Ashton isn't that smart.

The female guard used the blunt end of the spear and gave his chest a powerful blow, knocking the wind out of him.

Ashton coughs in pain and violenlty as he gets sent flying back to his bed, holding onto the area that was hit and continues to cough violently.

The mare guard looked pleased with herself but then gets serious. "Okay, 'MONKEY'. You're going to be meeting the Princess of Equestria, Celestia Sunbringer herself. She's interested in your case and a filthy mule like yourself should be honoured that you get to meet her." She replied with a bit of sass.

"Don't like it? Then we can gladly keep you in that cell for the rest of your life." She smirked, but he puts his hand up to speak.

"I-if you must know... I shower 3 times a week!" He said once again in a smart-ass tone.

She again didn't take kindly to that. "You son of a--"

"Stand down, Captain Silver Spear." A matured feminine voiced in authority. The guard froze, quickly salutes and stands at the side.

Ashton also froze and puts his hand back to his side as he sat there on his bed, what came around the corner was nothing like he ever seen before.

A gorgeous white furred mare with flowing rainbow-like hair, wings and a horn-- W-wait... Wings? Horn?

He quickly looked at the guard who was frozen at the spot and she had a unicorn horn.

The words this mare was speaking was just nothing but background noise now.

He was perplexed and he wanted to touch them to see if they were real... IF ANY of this was real.

"Creature?"

That snapped him out of it and shook his head. "Y-yes?" Ashton replied.

"Oh, good. You can communicate. This will be much easier then." She said with a bit of a smile forming on her face, like a motherly smile.

This was all too surreal, a magical horse with wings and a horn is a princess, A MONARCH of this land and she is so gorgeous.

"I shall repeat... My name is Princess Celestia Sunbringer, co-ruler of Equestria. And it's remarkable to see a new species, even if it's sentient at that." She then giggles. "With a sense of humour at that."

This made Ashton's face flush and made him scratch the back of his head. "Ohh, well.. You knooow~" he chuckled bashfully.

"Let's speak more in the throne room... It must be better than that dank and dark cell." She smiled.

Ashton blinks and had to make a joke. "You kidding me? Have you seen that apartment I rode in on? This is heaven compared to that."

Celestia didn't get the joke. "So you rather stay in there? Well, we can accommodate--" Before she could finish that sentence, Ashton puts his hands up.

"It was a joke! I don't like this place, really!" He said with a bit of desperation in his voice.

Celestia gave Ashton a sly grin, as if to say that was revenge after doing that to one of her ponies, seems she actually got it after all.

"Oh... good one..." Ashton said in a 'I'm pretty fucked, I'm sure.' tone that he could muster.

Minutes pass and they were at the throne room, every single guard there was staring right at Ashton.

He grew up with stage fright, and this did NOT help. He remembered his breathing stages and started to go with that.

Like a lion, Celestia could see, smell, taste and FEEL the uneasiness her new guest was reeking of and started to talk about something a bit simple and to drive the point home.

"You... Called that an apartment, correct?" Celestia began to which Ashton nodded.

"Yes, ma'am." He said in confirmation, still practising his breathing stages to try and calm his anxieties.

"Is it... A weapon?" She said a little bit bluntly, this made Ashton stop and look at her incredulously.

"A weapon?" Ashton repeats and shook his head. "N-no, it's barely even anything! It's just a room that I happen to live in." He said trying his best to rationalise and explain it.

"How did it get in the Everfree Forest?" She went further down the rabbit hole.

He didn't WANT to say it, he was sure that 'Discord' fellow was a convict from Equestria and if he tattled on him then chances are he'd be dead.

"Uh... Strange portal dissipation from an evil mad scientist!" He said as his brain literally picked the best words to come out of that asshole, which in 5 minutes may or may not be completely reemed.

"A mad scientist?" She looked actually shocked. "So you were a victim from this... Scientist?"

All the guards around the room started to converse with themselves, some were in shock and some were thinking he's bluffing with sweat dripping down their faces.

... They actually bought it, what the fuck? How gullible are these ponies?

"Uhhhyyy...Yes?" He said as he played it off like he was confused.

"What is the name of this scientist?" She said, looking thoroughly intrigued but also disturbed at the same time.

"Uhm... " He began to feel a little bit unsure, but he had to keep the story go-- ... Bingo.

"Don't worry, you can trust me as the Sun Princess of Equestria that no harm will come to you." She said with a motherly smile but kept with her somewhat disturbed demeanour.

Ashton faked taking a deep breath and looks at Celestia. "His name is... Hououin Kyouma." He said as he positions himself in a pose similar to how Okabe would in Stein's;Gate.

"...Hououin... Kyouma?" Celestia softly repeats, struggling to sound it. "Bizarre name for one of your kind." She said tapping her royal shoe'd hoof onto her chin in thought. "Please forgive me for assuming you had anything to do with this."

She then wondered. "Oh, I had just realized. How rude of me but, we haven't been properly introduced have we?" She said a bit sheepishly.

God, that's cute.

"It's no problem..." He said having feel guilty to lie, but he figured he played it well. "My name is Ashton... Ashton Devora." He said as he had to tell another lie, this lie was his last name.

It was at this moment that Ashton figured he would give up his earlier life, figure that he was considered dead in his old world and just live the rest of his life in this one. Hell, maybe there'll be more luck in job applications and could live off on things rather than instant noodles and bread.

As much as he loves the stuff, it can get very tedious eating the same thing over and over.

"Ashton Devora, as sad as it is... There won't be any guarantee we could bring you back to your own world as as we wanted to... But under the possibility of a chance of such an event, we wish to study this 'apartment' more and hopefully find something that may--" 'Oh no! They're gonna trace Discord's power there for sure! And I would be considered suspicious! I can't allow that!' Ashton said in his head as Celestia continued on with her rambling.

"With all due respect, your majesty... It's not needed." He said feigning sadness, time for another lie.

"W-what? Is... Something the matter, Mister Devora?" Celestia said as she picked up on his sadness.

Hehe, Ashton Devora... Master of emotion!

"I'm... An orphan..." He said but there were a collective amount of gasps and awkward silence after said gasps until Celestia spoke up about this.

"I'm... I'm very sorry to hear that." Celestia sympathised.

"There's nothing really there for me anymore... I work this dead end job... I lived in that terrible apartment, some of your men must have seen the inside of it... It's practically unlivable!"

One of the guards actually spoke up. "I-I can attest to this, your majesty! That room was..." He shivered.

Why... WHY is this so fucking EASY? Why am I getting away with this bullshit?! Do I have 100 Speech or what?!

"And to make matters worse, it's winter and... I thought I'd die from the freezing temperatures." Ashton continued.

Celestia blinks. "...I think I see your point... Do you not want to go back? Don't you have friends to help you?"

"...Absolutely none." Ashton said, this time it was the complete truth. He had zero friends in his time on earth.

He would get a few flashbacks where he thought he would actually get a few friends but he later found out that they let him hang around over pity and one of the members were finally sent over the edge.

"THAT'S IT! I CAN'T TAKE THIS FUCKER ANYMORE!" One of the guys in the group had said, he was a skinny but muscular with a ... Honestly really nice navy blue Letterman and jeans with slick back black hair.

He was pointing at Ashton with the look of an extremely pissed off gorilla. "He's a fucking leech! All he does is follow us around like a stray dog looking for a treat!"

"Hey, fuck you Albert." Ashton defended. "I'm quiet as all fuck and you're complaining!?"

Elisa, one of the snobbiest girls in the group, blonde hair and one of those preppy vests over the polo shirt type of gals, oh and she is Albert's girlfriend just giggled. "Oh look, he's finally swore for once in his life."

Ashton growls. "Oh come off it, you bitch. You've been talking about your fucking ape behind his back, TO ME of all people."

Elisa laughed again. "That was our idea, you fucking weeb! God, you're disgusting." She said in one of those infuriating fucking valley-girl accents you can EVER hear on a girl, and HOLY shit did he want to punch her.

But he didn't want to be the next bus driver scandal, that guy was a hero who actually believed in equal rights. And equal lefts, apparently.

Thomas, a gothic looking guy with a black hoodie and black pants... He was edgy as fuck. But to give the guy credit, he was the smartest and most reasonable in the group. "Guys, this is just dumb. You're letting irrationality get the best of all of you, can't we just get a cup of coffee and hang out like always?"

I replied. "A cup of coffee would be great." To Thomas, to whom stared at Ashton.

"Who invited you?" Thomas said, that sealed it.

Thomas wasn't talking about their irrationality, they were talking about Ashton's.

"We've been friends for a full 4 fucking years, today is the anniversary and you're kicking me OUT of your little social shitfest? Y'know what? Keep it, I'm done with all of you... Especially that fucking Letterman wearing cuck!" Ashton said out of pure malice.

*WHACK!*

Ashton was on his ass, rubbing the mark on his face. Albert was standing above him with the look of smug written ALL over it.

Elisa just puts her arm around Albert's. "Damn, Al. Ya didn't have to kill him." She giggled that same fucking giggle...

Ashton just got up and punted Albert in the baby maker, to whom held onto his junk and keeled over in absolute pain. "Fuck you, you backstabbing cocksucker."

Then a blinding pain, and everything was hazy.

Elisa got her pepper spray and fucking doused Ashton in the face with it.

Thomas tried to get Albert up, but to no avail.

Ashton managed to run for it despite the mace in face and just ran for it, didn't care where.

After that? Police were called to his house, he gave statements and with the bruise on his face he used the self-defence plea.

And it worked.

They never bothered him again, occassionally gave him glances and called him a cunt but other than that they were good sports about it.

Turns out the school was informed and gave them a strict warning that could fuck up their records.

Karma is a bitch.

Celestia was trying to get Ashton's attention. "Hello? Mr. Devora?"

This brought him out of his flashback funk. "Sorry, what was that?"

She smiled. "Oh good, I thought we have broken you... You weren't answering my statement. I said that: Despite all this, we may need to investigate the apartment and see if there's anything interesting. We could still learn so much."

Ashton grunts as she seemed very adamant about it, he's been incredibly lucky to get away with his speech so far... Maybe this can't hurt? "A-alright... Do as you wish... But I have belongings I wish to--"

A guard was on cue, and it was Miss Spear up her butt. "We have already seized assets from the 'apartment', I'm afraid to say that most of your belongings will have to be locked up until they are safe to be in your hooves again..."

She had the biggest smug look on her face. "Sorry." She said that last part with sarcasm.

... Merde.

"As Captain Silver Spear has said, I'm afraid we'll have to test the assets before we can give them back to you. But you have our word that nothing will be broken." Celestia had said as she smiled that motherly smile.

... Not so Merde.

"Oh, you must be tired. Perhaps you would like to rest up? You have been asleep for two days now but you still look tired. Perhaps some food and a good night's rest? We can finally move you out of that dungeon now knowing that you aren't a threat." Celestia offered.

"Y-yes please." Ashton stuttered, he wasn't expecting such hospitality... But in this case, never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Should he have said "PONY" there he wondered...

A few minutes later, Celestia had escorted Ashton to the quarters, he had a troubled thought that entered his mind. ["Two days... Two days really passed since Discord appeared and knocked me unconsious?"] He said in his mind.

Celestia decided to speak up as there wasn't any conversation going. "Most guests, usually ambassadors, take these rooms in case of diplomatic meetings and to strengthen ties to our country, but since you are the only guest you can have a room." She said in a motherly tone.

He suspects that she's a parental figure to all these ponies... That is adorable.

"Ambassadors? What other species are there?" Ashton said with intrigue.

"Griffons, Yaks and Dragons mostly..." She said in casual reply.

Ashton was frozen stiff as he looked at Celestia like she grew two heads. "...Dragons?" He said in disbelief.

Celestia stopped and looked backwards. "Yes, dragons..." She confirmed.

He gulps. "...Okay."

She chuckles a bit. "Not fond of dragons? Don't worry, they don't really harm anypony... Unless you do something that would cause them harm. A strange code old code, but a respectable one."

["Old code? Wait a second..."] Ashton said in his mind.

"You never heard of Self-Defence, your majesty?" Ashton had to say.

"Well... Yes, I have. And I guarantee my little ponies do as well. But we live in a time of peace..." She then looked troubled.

"... Your majesty?" Ashton had said as she smiled and shook her head.

"It's nothing... Nothing for you to worry about." She said, obviously hiding something.

He wanted to ask and see what was up, but he decided to respect it and move on.

"By the way, what do your call your species? I have never seen anyone like you in all my years of ruling." She inquired.

Now he could happily tell the truth without any kind of subconscious bothering him.

"We're humans, your majesty. Scientific term: Homo-Sapiens." He said with a proud grin.

A couple of guards tried their best not to laugh as they scrunch their muzzles.

Ashton didn't know nor pay attention, neither did Celestia. "Hmm, interesting name... I don't think there ever have been homo-sapiens in Equestria before..."

The guards eyes were tearing up, trying not to burst out giggling.

Now Ashton could over hear this at the struggling pony and then couldn't help but grin evilly... But for some reason, he didn't want to pursue this giggling guard and decided to let it go.

After another minute of walking, they finally make it to the room.

The guard had calmed down by then and Celestia smiled at Ashton. "This will be your room for today. As for tomorrow, you will be moving to a new place to meet with my student whom is a fellow princess and her friends."

Ashton was taken a back by this. "...Isn't that a little bit fast? I mean, I just got here... I'd love to explore ... Where are we again?" He said scratching the back of his head.

"Canterlot Castle." Celestia said before remembering. "Oh, I wish I could talk with you more Mr. Devora but I must try to complete day court soon. But if you wish, feel free to call a maid for anything you need." She begins to trot off majestically. "Farewell, Mr. Devora."

Ashton looked over at her as she trots off, what a weird transition.

Perhaps she didn't want to be around him much, that or she was truly late and he bought too much of her time.

He had hoped for the latter, he already felt really bad about this.

Ashton looked at the guard who was staring right at him. "...You need something?" Ashton said to the guard to whom just trots off to the door, keeping guard.

"I am here as requested by Celestia to keep guard and watch over you." He said with a bit of a tough guy attitude.

He sighs a bit. "I see she COMPLETELY trusts me."

"She has every right to be skeptical about you, monkey." He said with an authoritative tone. "Now, are you going to get something or are you going to retire for tonight, sir?"

Ashton wanted to rebuttal, but he figured it wouldn't be a good idea and sighed. "Of course... I'll retire for tonight. But on one condition, I don't want anyone other than the princess to bother me... Got that?"

He just stood there, guess he wasn't under obligation to speak back.

Ashton nodded. "Uh.. Good!" He said as he then opened the doors and then his eyes widen. "Whoa..."

The room was all quartz white, evenly lit, sparkly and elegant as all hell.

A tear slowly drips down Ashton's eye. "...It's beautiful." He said before walking in and closing the doors behind him.

The guard snorts. "Weirdo."

Ashton looked around as fruit, bread and cheese was on the table along with a wonderful selection of drinks on a tray, a comfy looking bed that looks like it was made out of clouds themselves, another room by the corner that must be the facilities and a balcony accompanied with a window by it's side.

Just by looking outside, it was snowy and cold but it was breath taking. The current dancing of snow flakes along the blizzard winds as he had a good view of the streets.

He wanted to go out on the balcony but he had a feeling it wasn't a good idea to reveal himself to the public already... He didn't want to give the poor princess any pressure from the press from that stunt, neither.

... He thinks... He thinks he's gonna like it here.

{End of Chapter 3}