Ponies Watch Red vs Blue

The first image on screen was a black screen with a peculiar logo in the center: the silhouette of a rooster next to some wind up gag teeth. The text "Rooster Teeth Presents" below it, accompanied by some quick guitar riffs.

"'Rooster Teeth?' What's that?" Rainbow asked.

"As a farmer Ah can say with Ah'm pretty certain that rooster's don't have teeth," Applejack added.

"I think it's the name of the company, darlings," Rarity explained.

"I like it!" Pinkie declared.

The text then disappeared to be replaced by "RED vs BLUE, Season 1".

"How many season are there?" Spike asked.

"Um, I count... wow, fourteen discs," Twilight answered.

"You mean there's fourteen seasons?"

"I think so."

The black screen gave way to a shot of some kind of stone structure. The camera then panned up to see two bipedal figures standing next to each other, looking in the same direction. They were completely covered in armor, their helmets having a large yellow visor covering most of where there faces would be. the only discernible difference between them was one was orange and the other was maroon.

"Hey," the maroon one began, turning to the being next to him.

"Yeah?" the other asked, turning back.

"You ever wonder why we're here?"

"It's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of... some cosmic coincidence, or... is there really a God? Watching everything? Y'know, with a plan for us and stuff? I dunno, man. But it keeps me up at night."

The two figures bobbed their heads up and down when they talked, the only real clear indication of who was talking. The two continued to stare at each other in silence.

"Philosophical discussion on the nature of existence was not what I expected to see from this," Luna commented.

"Wait for it," Discord said.

"What? I meant why are we out here, in this canyon?" the maroon one said.

"There it is," Discord said with a smile.

"Ha! Classic! Set up something then pull the rug right out from under the viewer's hooves," Pinkie commented.

"Oh, uh... yeah."

"What was all the stuff about God?"

"Uh... hm? Nothing," the orange one said quickly, clearly wanting to forget anything was said.

"... You want to talk about it?"

"No," the orange one said quickly.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Seriously though, why are we out here? As far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere. No way in or out."

"Mhmm."

"The only reason that we set up a red base here, is because they have a blue base over there. And the only reason they have a blue base over there, is because we have a red base here."

"Wait, so they're supposed to be soldiers?" Rainbow asked.

"They don't sound very professional," Starlight added.

"I think they're just bored. Shiny would always tell me that the guards would just talk to kill time when they were standing guard with nothing happening," Twilight commented.

"Yeah, that's because we're fighting each other," the orange one answered.

"No no, but I mean, even if we were to pull out today and they were to come take our base, they'd would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoopdee-fucking-doo."

The group recoiled a bit, except for Discord who smiled wider, at the profanity. Some like the Princesses were just slightly surprised, while those like Rarity or Fluttershy gasped in disgust or shock.

"How vulgar!" Rarity chided.

"Uh, Spike, maybe you better not be here for this," Twilight said nervously.

"Why? They're not saying anything I haven't heard before," the replied.

"Wait, what!?" Twilight asked angrily. "Where did you learn that word!? Was it from your comics!?"

"Not Twilight, it was from you."

The room went silent again.

"WHAT!?" Twilight practically screeched.

"Oh, this is great!" Discord said, sticking a straw into the popcorn bucket and sipping the confection as his attention was drawn to the new show happening in front of him.

"Hey, leave some for the rest of us!" Pinkie complained.

"Dang Twi, Ah didn't know you had a mouth on ya!" Applejack quipped.

"I don't! Spike, don't lie!"

"I'm not lying, Twilight, it's just... I didn't want to embarrass you."

"Embarrass me?"

Spike sighed. "Remember that time you got the updated Canterlot Dictionary, and you wanted my help to check to see what the differences were with the new update? Page by page? Word by word? Even the pronunciations?"

"... Oh."

"Oh, Twilight," Celestia groaned, shaking her head but unable to keep an amused smirk from her lips.

"Wait, I don't get it," Rainbow Dash said.

"Darling, you know what dictionary is, right?" Rarity asked.

"Duh! I'm not an idiot, Rarity!" Rainbow replied indignantly. "It's a book with every word in the Equestrian language."

"Yes, Darling. Every word. And with the definitions of all those words."

"... Oh."

"Let's continue watching, shall we?" Luna asked, direction everyone's attention back to the screen.

"Oh my. I hope there's not too much swearing in the future," Fluttershy whispered.

"I wouldn't hold my breath," Twilight muttered.

"What's up with that anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight some aliens. Next thing I know, Master Chief blows up the whole Covenant armada, and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of blue guys."

The camera then changed to show two more soldiers in armor identical to the two from before aside from the colors. One was a cobalt blue, while the other was aqua. Both were standing on a cliff a decent distance away from the red base with the cobalt one looking through a long device, the two other soldiers in his sights.

"What is that?" Starlight asked.

"Oh, I saw pictures of these when I was in the other Equestria. They're called 'guns', and they're weapons," Twilight explained. "They come in a lots of different shapes and sizes. They're basically miniature cannons. I think the minotaurs have their own versions of them."

"Judging by it's length I'd say that one is meant to shoot enemies from far away," Celestia surmised.

"Hope he doesn't shoot one of them," Pinkie said. "You can't have a main character die at the beginning of a series unless the rest is told in flashback."

"What are they doing?" the aqua one asked.

"What?" the cobalt one replied, lowering his weapon.

"I said, what are they doing now?"

"Goddamn, I'm getting so sick of answering that question!"

"Well, he certainly sounds like the irritable type," Rarity chided.

"Well, it sounds like he's been putting up with it for a while," Fluttershy commented, trying to give the man the benefit of the doubt.

"You have the fucking rifle, I can't see shit! Don't bitch at me, because I'm not going to just sit up here and play with my dick."

"Wow, he's got a mouth," Applejack commented.

"Okay, look. There just standing there and talking, okay? That's al they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So five minutes from now when you ask me 'What are they doing?' my answer's gonna be: "They're still just talking, and they're still just standing there."

"... What are they talking about?"

"You know what? I fucking hate you."

"Snarky, early irritated, annoyed with incompetence. I think I found your soulmate, Princess Snarkle!" Discord teased.

"Oh, be quiet," Twilight replied, rolling her eyes.

"See!? You're made for each other!"

Twilight groaned loudly. Much to her dismay, many of her friends giggled. Even Celestia had to try and suppress her smirk.

The camera shifted back to the two red team soldiers from before.

"Talk about a waste of resources," the orange one complained. "I mean, we should be out there finding new and intelligent forms of life. Y'know, fight them."

"Yeah, no shit. That' why they should put us in charge."

The camera then showed another soldier in red armor near the bottom of the base.

"Ladies! Front and center on the double!" he shouted in a gruff voice.

"Fuck," the maroon one muttered under his breath.

"Yes, sir!" the orange one called back before the screen went to black.

"Aww! That's it?" Pinkie complained.

"Guess these episodes are pretty short," Starlight commented.

"Quick, start the next the next one. Maybe we can get through the first season today," Rainbow said.

"Looks like it's starting itself," Twilight said as they all prepared for the next episode.