Applejack grinned over her cards. The night was going well so far. Twilight and Rarity had tapped out already, completely out of chips. They were in the corner discussing their recent reads over two suspiciously empty bottles of wine. Pinkie had left to take some of her more inebriated friends home, and hadn’t come back yet, while Rainbow had somehow acquired her chips.

Fluttershy still had a respectable pile, Rainbow was just barely holding on with her dwindling chips, and Caramel wasn’t faring much better. The only real danger at the table tonight was Rubinstein, the strange pony from the crystal empire. He was so foreign that she had a difficult time reading him. Even then, AJ was clearly in the lead and stood to win an impressive amount of bits tonight. That was assuming that she played her cards right.

Pinkie had thrown a downright crazy party, and it had been a great success. The ponies still there were either her close friends, or just ponies that weren’t ready to face the cold night. Applejack knew why Caramel didn’t want to go home; the lazy slacker didn’t want to have to wake up in the morning. It was harvest season, and the Apples had hired help this year. It let Applejack spend more time to with her friends, but the hired help just wasn’t as passionate about the work.

As for Rubinstein, she guessed that all he had waiting at home was an empty hotel room, and this card game was far more interesting than that.

She had work tomorrow, and was getting heavy hooves. Applejack needed to finish up this game before the cider got to her. Looking closely at her hand, she decided to play aggressively. She either wanted the game over, or wanted out. She decided to force the round, and her hand was a solid bet. If the others were smart they’d fold, but she’d have easy cash for the round. And if one of them called her bet, well, they’d lose out even more.

She shoved her pile of bits into the center and announced her intentions, “I’m goin all in.”

A frustrated groan slipped out of Rainbow as she frowned, “Ugh. What the heck, AJ? We can’t match that. Just put in however much Ruby has over there. I don’t wanna make three different side bets.”

“Oh, y’all are going to match it, huh?” Applejack laughed, and the room slid a little but didn’t quite spin. Maybe she’d had a little too much cider.

The table shook as Rainbow slammed her hand drunkenly into it. “Yeah! I’m gonna call your bet. There’s no way that you have anything.” Rainbow pointed, accusingly, “You’re just trying to strong arm us.”

The quiet chatter in the room stopped when Applejack squinted at Rainbow and smiled. “Wanna bet?”

Rainbow just growled, and Fluttershy murmured, hiding behind her cards, “Oh… my.”

Rubinstein didn’t seem to notice the tension, instead smiling and folding his cards. “That’s too much for me. I’ll just have to wait another round.”

Fluttershy nervously mumbled, “Umm… I want to call it, too. But I don’t think I have enough bits….”

Rainbow sighed, and then glared at Applejack angrily. “Ugh. I hate math.”

Rubinstein frowned, confused. “While I disagree, why not just writ something?” The ponies at the table looked at him blankly, “Are writs not legal anymore?”

All three mares gawked at him, but it was Applejack who spoke first. “Writ? Why… What’s that?”

Rubinstein drunkenly ignored the question and turned to Twilight. “Princess, are writs legal tender here?”

Twilight blinked slowly, and then smiled as she thought about it. Clearly, she was very inebriated. “Writs? Yeah. Out of fashion… but legal. I think.” She frowned slightly. “No. Definitely legal. They were outlawed about five hundred years ago, but the law outlawing them was repealed sixty years ago as part of a rider for a ‘better crops’ initiative. Maybe we should fix that? I mean, we already have better crops.” Twilight turned to Rarity, “Rarity, Would that be a popular initiative? Princess Twilight against better crops?”

Rarity held back a giggle, “No, darling. I would think not.”

Shrugging noncommittally, Twilight answered, “Guess they’re still legal then.”

Applejack wasn’t so sure she liked the sound of it. Why had they been outlawed? She glared suspiciously at Rubinstein, “We still don’t know what a ‘writ’ is.”

“Oh! It’s a promise of service. See, you have about three hundred forty eight bits worth of chips in that pile,” Applejack was impressed that he had kept track, “But your friends here only have one hundred thirty nine and thirty four bits worth of chips, respectively.”

“Uh uh.” Contrary to popular belief, Applejack could do simple math, and didn’t know where this was going.

“And you run a business, yes?” He looked curiously at her.

“Yeah. Sweet Apple Acres!” A smile crossed her face when she thought about her farm. “What’s that got to do with my friends?”

“Well, how much do you pay a pony for an hour of service on your farm?”

Applejack glanced at Caramel, “About eight bits an hour, I suppose.”

“So, if Rainbow offered to work on your farm for 39 and a quarter hours, that would be equal to the difference of your chips and her chips.”

“I see….” Applejack was beginning to understand how this worked.

“Of course you’d have to agree to it. You write the amount of time a pony has to work for you, and the agreed upon value of the writ. You both sign it after and have a mostly legal document.”

“Well, how is this different than a contract? Like what Caramel and I got?”

“Writs aren’t as specific. They just say that a pony agrees to work for you, they don’t have all that extra legal stuff. They’re what was used before somepony came up with the idea of getting lawyers involved. They also can be traded, like currency. It can get really complex as to who owes who what, which is why it’s sometimes outlawed. I was curious if they were still legal anywhere this far in the future.”

Twilight had been drunkenly listening in, and offered her advice on it, “Oh! I know about that! Six hundred years ago! A whole town had written so many writs, every pony was owed every other pony a ridiculous amount of work. Their economy collapsed. The village ended up abandoned, and it took a team of fifteen Canterlot lawyers five years to untangle that mess.” Drunkenly, Twilight looked back to Rarity, “I could have saved them!”

Rarity snorted back her drunken laughter, “Snrk rk…” She covered her mouth, slightly ashamed as she continued, “Twilight, I think you’re just excited about a puzzle.”

Twilight buried her face in her hands, suddenly sad, “I could have been famous!”

Rarity sniffled, confused, “You are famous.”

“… I’m a princess!” Twilight’s eyes got wide in surprise.

Rarity squinted, and realized exactly how drunk Twilight was, “It’s time to go home, Princess. I think you’ve had too much.” then she stood unsteadily up.

Twilight refused, and began to argue with her, claiming that she didn’t have to leave yet because she was a princess, and princesses could do what they wanted.

Ignoring the bickering ponies, Applejack turned to Rainbow, “So, you wanna get some work done on my farm, huh?”

“Oh please. We both know that I’m gonna win this hand. Ruby, write us out one of those writ thingies.”

Rubinstein shrugged, and pulled a notepad out of his travel pack. “Here you go, one writ for forty hours of labor, valued at 314 bits. You just need to sign here, and Applejack needs to sign there. If we want to make this extra legal instead of quasi legal, we can have the Princess sign as well.”

Twilight shouted as Rarity was trying to push her to her feet, “I am a princess!” And surprisingly, his pen was wrenched from his hand and a drunken signature was scrawled across the document.

Confused at the strange princess, Rubinstein tilted his head, “I guess that makes it official then. Usually if the princess signed, it would be after the other ponies, but when in Ponyville... He shrugged, and passed the paper and pen to Rainbow who quickly signed it.

The tiny pile of bits and the writ was added to the pile in the middle as Rainbow then shoved them all at once, glaring at Applejack. Applejack just smirked, took the writ, and signed her name on it. “I hope you like bucking apples, RD. It’s harvest season, and we can use the help.”

“Pshh. Whatever. I’m gonna win.” Rainbow gloated as she leaned back in her chair.

Fluttershy looked at Applejack and at Rainbow. Then she looked to Rubinstein and spoke softly, “Excuse me, Mr. Rubinstein. May I have one as well?”

Everybody at the table looked at her as she smiled nervously. “I’m pretty sure I’m going to win.”

Pen met paper again as Rubinstein began to write up another one, “I don’t see why not. To make yours equitable it will have to be about 26 hours.”

“Oh. No, just make it the same as Rainbow’s please.” Fluttershy ducked behind her cards, “I mean, if that’s okay.”

Rubinstein looked up, drunkenly puzzled, “Why? That doesn’t add up.”

“Oh. I’m much slower, so it’ll take me much longer to get the same amount of work done.”

Applejack frowned, “We don’t work like that at Sweet Apple Acres, Fluttershy. I know you’ll work harder than that lout,” She pointed at Caramel, who had passed out, letting his cards fall on the table, “And I ain’t paying you any less.”

“Please, Applejack?” Fluttershy opened her eyes wide and pouted her lip.

“Oh, all-right. Write it up, Rubinstein.” Applejack figured that Fluttershy just didn’t want to be left out, and didn’t feel like arguing the point. She wasn’t really planning on holding Fluttershy to the writ anyways.

“Okay.” He put the pen on the table, missing the pad, and then slid it back to paper to write in the details. When he was done, he drunkenly called for Twilight, “Princess, another signature?”

Twilight was nowhere to be seen, but they heard her shout from outside, “They need me!” followed by a high pitched shriek from Rarity.

Suddenly, Rubinstein’s pen was wrenched from his control again as it wrote another sloppy signature across the writ, lines be damned.

He squinted at the sloppy signature, and passed it to Fluttershy. “You ponies have a strange town, but I like your princess.”

Fluttershy giggled, “Oh. She’s very nice….”

Raising an eyebrow in approval, Rainbow cheered Fluttershy’s bravery, “That’s it Flutters, way to show some backbone!”

Fluttershy smiled happily. “I’m gonna win! Yay!” then she passed the writ to Applejack.

Applejack was less comfortable with Fluttershy’s writ, she felt like she was taking advantage of the poor mare. “Are you absolutely sure, darlin?”

“Um. Yes.” Fluttershy glanced at Dash for support and then wiggled nervously on her chair.

Signing the paper, Applejack gave the same speech she gave new hires, “Well, I hope you enjoy your time at Sweet Apple Acres. We’ll be happy to have you.”

Fluttershy smiled. “All bets are in?”

Rainbow grinned, “Time to show your cards, ladies. Read em and weep!” She threw her hand down, showing a pair of Queens.

Fluttershy and Applejack just stared for a moment. Applejack broke the silence, “You called me out with that?”

“Well, you’ve got nothing, so that’s enough to beat you! I didn’t expect Fluttershy to stay in….” Rainbow shrugged.

“Well, I got you beat Rainbow.”

“No way!”

“Yup. Fluttershy, what do you got?”

“Oh… Umm… maybe you should play yours first? I don’t want to be embarrassed.”

“Well fine. Three jacks.” Applejack put her cards on the table.

Rainbow groaned, “No way!”

Applejack leaned back and smugly tilted her hat, “Yup. I got ya beat, Dash.”

Rainbow complained, throwing her hands up in the air, “But I don’t wanna buck apples!”

Applejack kept taunting her, “You better put on your bucking shoes, girl.”

Fluttershy looked at the cards on the table, and then looked at her hand. “Umm… I think I win.”

Applejack leaned forward, curious. Rainbow pumped her fist. “Yes! I get to hang out with Shy and the animals! No apple bucking for me!”

“I’ve got three kings, and two threes.” Fluttershy put her hand on the table.

Applejack felt dizzy from the alcohol. She was pickled, and out of chips. “Congrats, Fluttershy. I think I’m done for the night girls, I’ve gotta get to sleep. And that lout needs to wake up and get to work!” Applejack rustled Caramel awake, and walked him to the door, leaving his few chips still on the table.

She called back as she was walking out the door, “G'night y’all. Don’t stay up too late.”

Rainbow laughed at her and slapped Fluttershy with her wing, “You’re not my boss, Applejack. Fluttershy is!”

Applejack went home at that point—she was a responsible pony. Fluttershy and Rainbow decided to continue their irresponsible drinking, and take what bits Rubinstein had left. As the night went on, the three got more and more drunk, until everything blurred together into a haze.

Rubinstein woke up in his hotel room and wished he was dead instead. His head was a throbbing jackhammer of pain, and his room was a total mess. The blankets were on the floor, vomit covered his wall, and his toilet was flushing every few seconds for some reason. He still hadn’t adjusted to modern plumbing, so that wasn’t something he could fix.

Bleary eyed, he stumbled out of bed to close the blinds. The damned things weren’t closed and the accursed sunlight was making his head hurt worse. As he walked to the blinds, he tripped over a bag that hadn’t been there before. Cursing, he kicked it, only to stub his foot.

Ignoring the new pain, he fell into the window, and closed the blinds on his head. Falling away from the window, he landed on his stomach and decided to stay there. Walking was too painful, and he was pretty sure he was still way too drunk to be awake.

With nothing else to do, he reached for the bag, and looked inside. It was filled with gold. That must be why it stubbed his toe. Gold is heavy. It looked like bits. He briefly wondered how many bits he had in there. Slowly, small pieces of the night before came back to him.

He had played drunken poker with some locals, and their princess. He had been doing fairly well, the only real challenge was the orange apple mare, but she had been knocked out near the end of the night in attempt to flush out her friends. He groaned into his hands, wishing they had the power to end his misery.

Two yellow pieces of paper fell out of the bag as he ripped his hands away. He looked at them, and another memory came back. He had filled out writs for them, they weren’t familiar with the custom. He inspected the paper closer, and through his blurry eyes he recognized his sloppy signature for accepting receipt of them.

Oh. Now he remembered. It had been down to just him and Fluttershy, who wasn’t bad really. He had offered to fold for the evening and take his portion, but Rainbow had kept egging her on. She kept giving the yellow pegasus advice, and it was always bad. If Fluttershy had trusted her instincts, she probably could have beat him. But instead she kept doing what Rainbow Dash said, and slowly he had taken away her hoard of chips.

He groaned. Of course, they had all drank constantly. What the heck kind of devil cider was that? It had been so sweet that you couldn’t taste the alcohol, but after a few they had really started to feel it. Must have been some local brew. The only one who seemed to handle the effects had been Applejack. He figured it was because she was named after booze, must be her special talent or something. Even their princess had been trashed.

Rubinstein carefully got up. He still had another few months of vacation, and if his spotty memories served him well, he won over eight hundred bits last night. Plus the writs. It sounded like more trouble than it was worth, but he could figure it out later. He needed a shower first.

–------------

Rainbow Dash didn’t feel good. She was still nursing her hangover from the night before, and barely remembered what her friends and her had gotten up to. There was something about a poker game… and hadn’t she brought a few days worth of pay?

Shit. She had lost it, hadn’t she. She wasn’t very good at poker, but when she started drinking, she couldn’t stop playing. Pinkie was usually her “stop” buddy, where had she gone off to? Still, it was just a few days pay. It sucked, and she’d have to be careful with her money, but she’d be fine.

Finished with her weather work for the day she decided to nap on a tree in Applejack’s orchard. She had to sleep off the worst of her hangover, and AJ wouldn’t mind.

Rainbow dozed off in the branches of an apple tree only to find herself woken up when somepony decided to buck it. Startled, she fell out and landed on her back. Groaning, she clutched her head and opened her eyes to see Applejack staring down at her, unamused.

“Well lookee what we got here. A lazy varmint sleeping in my tree.” Applejack growled at her, unappreciative of her impressive headache.

“Hey AJ. Sorry about that, I just needed someplace to sleep off the hangover. What’d you put in that cider?”

“Hard work. Something you might wanna brush up on.” Applejack continued to glare at Rainbow.

Applejack was always a grouch when she found Rainbow sleeping in her orchard. Rainbow didn’t want to hang around while she was angry. “I’m feeling better now. I’ve got… stuff to do. I should go.” Rainbow lied as she looked to the side, sheepishly. She didn’t want to end up bucking trees for an angry Applejack. As much as she hated to admit it, it was murder on her hooves.

Applejack took off her hat and used it to fan her face, “Don’t you got work for Fluttershy to be doin?”

Sure, why not. Rainbow liked animals, “Yeah. That! I’m helping Fluttershy with… something today.”

Applejack put her hat back on, “Yeah, you are. Remember?” Applejack looked at her intensely, and then sighed. “Y’all don’t remember, do ya.”

Rainbow looked from side to side, hoping to find something to distract Applejack for a moment so she could slip off.

Applejack was getting frustrated, so she growled, “You gave her a writ thingy last night. You gotta do a few weeks worth of work for her.”

“Oh.” Rainbow vaguely remembered something like that. “Yeah. A writ thingy. I’m gonna go take care of that. See ya!” Rainbow flipped off the ground and flew away, trying to escape Applejack’s wrath. She was never in a good mood when she caught Rainbow sleeping in her field.

“Don’t you shirk out on that writ, Rainbow. Twilight signed it, so you gotta do it!” Applejack shouted at the retreating pegasus as she waved her hat.

Rainbow coasted towards Fluttershy’s cottage, letting the warm afternoon air loosen her up. Yeah, she remembered the writ now. She had been excited to work with Fluttershy. She really wouldn’t have minded working with Applejack, but she hadn’t wanted to lose the game to her. Rainbow didn’t worry about losing to Fluttershy, the mare had to get a few wins under her belt every now and then.

Happily, she glided to a landing in front of Fluttershy’s cottage. It was oddly quiet. Rainbow walked to the door, and knocked loudly.

“Fluttershy, are you in there?” She slammed the door with a loud bang, shaking it on its hinges as the noise echoed through the house.

A timid voice responded, “Umm… No. I’m not.” Rainbow looked at the door in disbelief, and then the voice added, “I’m… somewhere else?”

“Fluttershy, let me in.” Rainbow frowned in frustration.

“Oh… Okay.” The door unlocked, and creaked slightly open.

Rainbow stormed inside. “What the hay, Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy was standing a few feet from the door, and refused to look up from the floor, “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t bear you being mad at me.” Fluttershy hoofed delicately at the carpet, looking guilty.

Shy wasn’t making any sense. Sometimes she got like that when she was nervous, so Rainbow dug a little, hoping to make her open up. “What are you talking about Shy, why would I be mad at you?”

Fluttershy muttered quietly, “After last night I was sure you’d be just furious.”

“That? I don’t mind losing to you at poker. I can’t be awesome at everything.” Rainbow wondered about that—could she be awesome at everything? Maybe she’d been going about things wrong.

Fluttershy looked back up at Rainbow, concern in her voice, “Umm… How much do you remember, Rainbow?”

Rainbow thought hard. The night was hazy, but she could remember a few details. “Well. There were a few ponies left, and then Applejack made a stupid bet. So I called her out on it, but I didn’t have enough bits, but that Ruby guy had an idea, and whatever it was worked! But then you won the hand anyways, and Applejack and I were knocked out of the game.” Rainbow sighed. “It’s just like that time when AJ and I tried to do the running of leaves but got beat by Twilight!”

Nervously twirling her hair, Fluttershy meekly asked, “Um, what about after that?”

Rainbow scoffed at her, “What do you mean after that? You won.”

Fluttershy whispered, “Mr. Rubinstein was still playing.”

Rainbow didn’t believe it. Had Fluttershy really lost to that punk from the crystal empire? “That loser? But you had way more bits than him!”

Fluttershy got quieter, and began to hide behind her hair, “I… umm… wanted to stop, and he was happy to stop, but you thought we could get his bits, so we kept playing….”

Rainbow stared at her friend incredulously, “What? Why would you do that?”

Slinking further behind her hair, Fluttershy muttered, “Well, you were having fun, and he looked happy. I was a little scared, but it was still fun for a while.”

“Of course he was happy; He started winning! I was drunk.” Rainbow slapped her forehead with her hand. “So you lost all the bits to that guy?”

Fluttershy murmured and looked turned her head away, “Well….”

Rainbow put her hand on her friend’s shoulder, trying to comfort the distraught mare, “It’s okay Fluttershy. I can help out if you need it, but you really shouldn’t gamble with money you can’t afford to lose.”

“Oh… No… I’m fine on bits. I’ve got enough to get me through the month.” Fluttershy kept nervously winding her finger in her hair.

Rainbow wasn’t sure why Fluttershy was so upset, “So, why would I be mad at you? They were your bits.”

Nervously, Fluttershy let the rest of the story, “Well, when we ran out of bits, you told me to bet your writ. And when I lost that, we decided to bet my writ to get it back. And… well… we didn’t.”

Rainbow blanked. What did that mean? “Wait, what?”

“I’m sorry, Rainbow.” Fluttershy kept her head down.

Rainbow did not like the way it sounded. Fluttershy was usually the calm and level headed one out of the two of them. Rainbow was frustrated that her friend would do something so stupid. That was her job. “So… you gambled us? Why would you do that?”

Fluttershy looked back at Rainbow, slightly accusatory, “You asked me to!”

Throwing her hands up in exasperation Rainbow shouted, “I was drunk! Why would you listen?”

Groaning, Fluttershy replied, “I was drunk, too.”

Rainbow grumbled, “Horseapples.” She couldn’t change the past, and they had both been stupid. The blame wasn’t on Fluttershy. If anything, it was Applejack’s fault for making such kick ass cider. Even then Rainbow still didn’t know what it meant for him to win the writ. It wasn’t like they could buck apples for the guy. He wasn’t even from Ponyville! She didn’t want to hang out with him. She grumbled again, “What do we do now?”

Fluttershy gulped, and looked up at Rainbow hopefully. “Maybe… we can ask Twilight?”

Twilight had a bag of ice on her head, ringing around her horn. It was distracting Rainbow immensely. “So does that thing just stay on because it’s around your horn?” She secretly wished she had one for herself.

Twilight sighed, “Focus Rainbow. I want to go back to sleep. So, to be clear, the writ was signed by everybody?”

Fluttershy nodded, “Yeah. Even you signed it. Does it umm… matter if we were drunk?”

Twilight closed her eyes to block out the sun as she thought, “Well, no. For most documents that would invalidate them. But for writs, the rules are a little different. Most writs are signed when drunk, unfortunately. Ponies don’t know about writs in this day and age, and most couldn’t write up an official one when sober. And honestly, if I remember correctly, everybody’s intentions were honest.”

Fluttershy whimpered.

Twilight continued, clearly upset that she was even awake, let alone talking, “That would mean the writs are legal by any definition. So you two are going to have to perform some forty hours of service for him.”

Rainbow frowned, “Isn’t there something you could do?”

Twilight muttered to herself before speaking clearly, “I could.” She frowned, “But I don’t think I will.”

Rainbow was surprised, “What? Why? We’re your friends!”

After pinching her nose for a second to relieve some phantom pain, Twilight responded clearly, “Well, using my station to help you two welch out of a bet is actually corrupt.”

Rainbow disagreed. That was exactly what having a princess as a friend was for, “Oh come on!”

“No. Really, I can help you with things, but he won fair and square. Like it or not, the writ is legal, and if I step in and use my influence to change it that would be the first step towards becoming a corrupt official. I am not going to run my court like Blue Blood runs his. If you didn’t want somebody else to have your writ, you shouldn’t have bet it.”

Rainbow needed Twilight to help, and she wasn’t above begging, “Just give him the bits or something! You can afford it.”

Twilight sighed, “Rainbow, how would you feel if I just took all of your Wonderbolt collectables, and paid you for the materials? That much brass and gold is probably worth about 260 bits in raw materials.”

“What? It’s priceless!” Dash stared at Twilight, who didn’t flinch. Then Dash gulped, “You wouldn’t.”

A glimmer of a smile showed in Twilight’s face, hopeful that Rainbow understood, “Exactly. If he doesn’t want to sell your writ, he doesn’t have to. Even for the listed price, or even back to you. Have you talked to him about it yet? Maybe whatever he wants wont be that bad?”

Dash was frustrated. She knew what Twilight was saying, but that didn’t mean she liked it. She couldn’t work for him—she had important things to do. Huffing, she replied, “Well, no.”

“Then I’m going to back to bed and sleep off my pounding headache. I’m not used to drinking like the rest of you, and you need to take responsibility for your actions. Don’t gamble with things you can’t afford to lose. He seemed like a nice enough stallion, I’m sure everything will be fine.” Twilight yawned. “After this fiasco I’m going to make a push to get writs outlawed, but it will probably take a few months to pass.” Twilight glared at Rainbow sternly, “So don’t go telling everyone what’s going on with you two. I don’t want them to get any silly ideas before this gets out of hand. Now goodnight.”

Rainbow and Fluttershy were gently scooted out the door, which promptly closed behind them.

“Oh that’s helpful. A flat ‘no’ would have been fine, now we aren’t supposed to even talk about it!” Rainbow angrily kicked the ground, stirring up some dust. She firmly believed that Twilight was being a jerk because of the hangover, but that didn’t excuse that she was being a jerk.

A soft response interrupted Rainbow. She had forgotten that Fluttershy was there, “Umm… Maybe we should just talk to him? It might okay. Maybe we can talk him into giving them back to us?”

“Geez. Fine.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. Hopefully he would just give their writs back. On the off chance he wouldn’t, she had a back up plan.

She was gonna kick his ass.

Rubinstein finally forced himself out of the shower. His head was feeling less like the site of a war crime, and more like a splitting headache. His hooves were still heavy, and he felt like he was going to throw up, but he was down to normal hangover levels. Standing in front of his mirror, he started his morning grooming routine. He didn’t know what time it really was, but it wouldn’t be fair to the world if he didn’t at least brush his teeth.

Deciding that he was at least mildly presentable, he went over his plans for the day. He’d come to Ponyville to get away from the frozen crystal empire for a while. His job wasn’t in high demand at the moment, and he had enough bits to go on a nice long vacation. The small town atmosphere in Ponyville was reminiscent of home, and it was close enough to Canterlot that he could visit for a day if he wanted. Every crystal pony was a pony from the past, and the futuristic city was just a little scarey. Ponyville was much more rustic, which felt familiar to him. Plus, the rates were reasonable at the hotel, and the weather was much nicer than back home.

The only problem was that Ponyville itself wasn’t as interesting as he’d hoped. He’d already visited the hero Spike. It was curious that there were no shrines to the young dragon here, but considering Spike was the local princess’s knight, it made sense. Princess Twilight didn’t have any statues of herself either, not even any stained glass reliefs. The only signs he’d seen were tapestries with her cutie mark over her castle, just to identify it as hers.

Still, it wasn’t like he was going to think the castle belonged to somepony else. The town only had one princess.

The day was young, and he had bits to spare. Maybe he could find a nice place to have a morning brunch. He peeked through the blinds, and decided that given the time, a late afternoon snack might be a better choice. He left the awful mess for the maid, after dumping some bits and the two papers in his travel bag. Those maids deserved a raise, so he left fifty bits out and hand wrote a note apologizing.

He was hoping the room would be cleaned when he got back and he wouldn’t have to find a new hotel, but he decided the odds were 50/50. It was pretty well trashed.

Making his way down the street, he ducked into an accessory store and picked up a pair of shades. The bright sun hurt like hell, and the sunglasses helped.

Still not feeling completely better he found a cafe simply called “Cafe”, and helped himself to a seat. Soon enough a waiter brought him some water, and he ordered a simple sandwich. Hopefully he could keep it down.

As he ate, he brought out the writs and read over them. Two mares, both pegasi, and both for about forty hours. If he was back home he could have had them help out with his house or his job, but on vacation he was at a loss as to what to do with them. He could have them work for five eight hour chunks, ten four hour chunks, or twenty two hour chunks. He just wasn’t sure on what.

Not only that, he knew these mares. They were elements of Harmony. While Spike was the real hero up in the Crystal Empire, Rubinstein knew that down here it was more of a team effort. Spike was just one dragon on their seven pony team. He knew they each represented something, but didn’t know what. Maybe Spike was the element of Bravery? You needed Bravery for harmony, right?

While he was lost in his thoughts, the waiter coughed to get his attention.

“Sir.”

Rubinstein looked up from his writs. “Hmm?”

“You have guests.” The waiter motioned to the side, where Rubinstein noticed two nervous looking mares.

This was a surprise for him. He hadn’t expected them to show up so soon. Rainbow was dressed in some brightly colored work out clothes, and Fluttershy was wearing a green sweater and some sweatpants.

Rainbow grunted gruffly at him. “Hey.”

Fluttershy tried to scoot behind Rainbow, and just made a quiet squeak.

After a moments pause, Rubinstein gestured to the empty seats.

They both sat down, Rainbow just flopping carelessly into the seat, while Fluttershy gracefully eased her way down. Rubinstein found how different they were intriguing. How could such different ponies be such close friends?

Rainbow broke the awkward silence and turned to the waiter, “Hey, Fluttershy and I need water. And I’ll have a radish salad.”

Fluttershy nervously spoke up, “Umm… Just water. Please. I already ate.”

The waiter took their menu cards and wordlessly left.

Rubinstein wasn’t quite sure what to do next, so he just watched them, glancing from the angry looking Rainbow Dash to the nervous looking Fluttershy. Rainbow looked like she had a rough morning, her hair was wild and her eyes were sunken. Fluttershy looked absolutely fine, her hair and feathers were perfectly groomed. Either she had used much more makeup, or perhaps hadn’t been as drunk as the rest of them the night before. As he glanced them over, he noted that they were both quite attractive in their own way.

Rainbow rolled her eyes, and interrupted his rude staring, “Ruby. We need to talk.”

He supposed they did. Everything needed to be worked out. They had made the original deal to work for Applejack, not for whatever it was he wanted them to do. And he still hadn’t decided.

He just wanted to eat his sandwich in peace, but this needed to be resolved, “Yeah. I guess so.”

Rainbow frowned and leaned forward aggressively, “So here’s the deal. Fluttershy and I may have had a few too many drinks last night and maybe signed some things without meaning to. You’ve got to give them back to us.”

Fluttershy looked at Rubinstein hopefully.

He sighed and looked at the writs. Together they were 523 bits worth of contract, or 80 hours of work. Honestly, the 80 hours of work was much more valuable, even if he wasn’t sure what it was for yet. Besides, they were his. “But I won them.”

Dash furrowed her brow and explained it to him slowly like he was stupid. “Obviously it didn’t count because we were drunk.”

Maybe it was his hangover or maybe the attitude of this mare was pissing him off. He probably would have given them back if they were nice, but she was being rude, “I was drunk, too. And you usually get to keep your winnings, even if you were drunk.” He growled, “And usually you lose your” He struggled for the word, his brain still recovering, “lossings?” No, that wasn’t right, “The things you lose if you bet, too.”

Rainbow Dash menaced him, standing up and flexing. She was clearly threatening him, “Look, if you don’t give those back I’m gonna make you regret it….” her already angry face took on a mean glare. Rubinstein didn’t like the look in her eyes. She was part of a hero team, she could probably beat him up pretty bad if she wanted. He really didn’t have a choice if she was serious.

Fluttershy, however, seemed appalled, “Rainbow! Don’t say things like that!”

Rainbow turned to Fluttershy, a scowl still on her face, “I don’t wanna work for that guy. I didn’t mind working for you or AJ, but I don’t know him!”

Fluttershy shook her head, “No, Rainbow.”

Rainbow went from scowling to begging, “But….”

Fluttershy stared at Rainbow with cold eyes, crossed her arms, and quietly stated, “No.”

Rubinstein was surprised by the transaction. The soft yellow mare was assertive when she needed to be, and Rainbow shut down the instant her friend told her to stop. She looked like a punished child, pouting about not getting desert. Rubinstein found her sudden attitude change amusing.

Grateful, he thanked Fluttershy, “Thank you, Ms. Fluttershy.”

“I’m sorry Mr. Rubinstein. I don’t really want to work for you either, but you won fair and square.” Fluttershy turned to Rainbow and scolded her, “We are not those kinds of ponies. We pay our debts.” She unfolded her arms and sniffed a bit as she turned back to Rubinstein, “And if that means we have to be your personal love slaves, then we’ll just have to do it.”

Both Rainbow and Rubinstein gawked at her in disbelief.

“Won’t we, Rainbow.” Fluttershy evened a nervous but meaningful smile at her friend.

Rainbow coughed, “Uhh…. Fluttershy. I don’t think that’s how writs work.”

Rubinstein thought for a moment. He looked down at the writs, and read them again. They didn’t specify the kind of labor. They didn’t specify the restrictions. All they had was a time limit, a bit value, and the princess’s signature. They were open writs. He then looked back up at the girls as he realized that he had something much more valuable than a few hundred bits worth of paper.

Rainbow was smiling nervously at Rubinstein, “Uhh… It isn’t, is it Ruby?”

Rubinstein’s mind was on overdrive, and he didn’t respond. There were suddenly so many possibilities.

Rainbow sounded desperate, “Ruby, buddy, pal, you in there? Ruby?”

All he could do was summarize his thoughts in entirety. “Uhh?”

Rainbow wasn’t quite as excited. “Uhh? Uhh… No.” She looked to Fluttershy for any sort of confirmation, “No?”

Fluttershy gulped, and glanced downward, “Umm… he is technically our owner now….”

Sounding slightly panicked, Rainbow balked, “We just gotta work for him, not do that kind of thing. Right?”

“I might have done some research when I woke up. I wasn’t as drunk last night, so I woke up feeling fine. Twilight was asleep and Spike let me in the library. And… well… Writs are more like an ownership contract. They can be… really dangerous for the person on the writ.” Fluttershy shuffled a little on her hooves, “Especially when you don’t specify the job. The only real rule is that he can’t kill us.” She glanced at Rubinstein strangely appraisingly, and then tilted her head forward, hiding behind her long hair, “That’s about it.”

Rubinstein looked closer at the writs. Yeah, ponies back home used writs for things occasionally, but it was always good natured and between friends, and even then they usually specified the task. Him and his friends had gambled writs all the time when they were teenagers. Usually the loser would do chores, or something embarrassing. The thought to gamble them when out of bits had come second nature, but he had forgotten that he was in a different time and in a different country. Only an idiot would give a stranger an open writ. Like the two he held.

He’d never heard of ponies using a writ for something like that, but he guessed they could. As far as he knew, Fluttershy was right. He probably shouldn’t make them break any laws either, he’d be responsible if they did and he told them to. Of course he would have to be a special kind of a dick to make them do something so degrading as be love slaves.

“Wait, What? So now he owns us? How does that even work? He doesn’t have a job or anything. This is stupid!” Rainbow turned and yelled at Rubinstein, clearly angry, “You’re stupid!”

Rubinstein was offended. He had told them very clearly at the poker table that he was on vacation and not a homeless vagrant. Puffing his chest, he corrected her, “Actually, miss Dash, I do have a job. And I consider myself quite intelligent. I’m on vacation, remember?”

Rainbow was getting angrier, “Oh? So what? Why do I care?”

She clearly didn’t understand who she was dealing with. Rubinstein was respected in the Crystal Empire. Maybe not important, but certainly no social parasite. “I happen to be a structural engineer. When it gets cold in the Crystal Empire it snows, and I’m out of work for four to five months. I wasn’t planning on staying in Ponyville for the entire time; I had intended to see Manehatten, Las Pegasus, and some other cities. However, if I need to change my plans I will.” He huffed.

“Oh great.” Rainbow threw her hands up in the air, mocking him, “Well, I’m a mother bucking Wonderbolt! Maybe you’ve heard of them?” Rainbow glowered, “I’m a busy mare. I don’t have time to be your hoof servant, or whatever sick thing you’re imagining me doing. I have training, practice, events, and a weather job on the side for Ponyville!”

He stared at her for a second. All of this yelling and getting offended wasn’t helping either of them. “Let’s just talk about this like normal ponies for a bit.” He sighed, trying to calm himself down, “Just sit down and lets figure this out. I really have no plans for your writs, maybe we can work something out?”

Rainbow stayed furious. “Work something out? Like, ‘oh! I’ll just give you a hand job and be on my way. Just let me grab your cock. Oh, did you wanna blow a load in me? Why the buck not?’ Is that what you wanna work out, Ruby?”

Fluttershy had apparently heard enough, “Rainbow! Watch your language and be nice! Even if he wanted something like that, we’d still have to do what he says.” Fluttershy’s eyes wandered to Rubinstein in apology, “I’m sorry, but I’m scared, too.” She looked gently back at Rainbow, “Remember what Twilight said? We were irresponsible, and we need to take care of this ourselves.”

Rainbow stared at Fluttershy for a moment, and then angrily sat back down. She put one leg over the other and huffed as she glared at Rubinstein. Eventually she aggressively folded her arms, and spoke “Fine. What are we gonna do, Boss?”

“Well… You’re both busy mares, right?”

Rainbow nodded, scowling.

Fluttershy, spoke up, “Well, actually… I’m not very busy. I have to feed my animals in the morning, and I feed them before it gets dark, and I have to spend time with them during the day. And I have to go shopping for them every other day, and clean up after them, and take care of the hurt ones, and… Oh. Maybe I am pretty busy.”

Rainbow dismissively chimed in, “Well, I have to practice and sleep and stuff.”

Rubinstein was slightly confused. Fluttershy’s schedule had made sense. Rainbow’s did not, “Sleep?”

“Yeah. I like to nap. It keeps me on top of my game.” Rainbow waved her hand to the side.

Rubinstein thought about it for a moment. Assuming both mares were telling the truth, they were fairly busy. He didn’t want to impact their livelihoods. He figured that maybe he should just be graceful and call it off, until he realized something, “Wait. How were you planning on helping Applejack?”

Fluttershy smiled, “Oh. I’d just feed my animals earlier and put off my social visits until the weekend. It wouldn’t be a problem.”

Rainbow shrugged, “Eh. I’d probably just nap less and move my training around. I still gotta make practice, but other than that it’s up to me.”

Rubinstein was getting annoyed. If their schedules wouldn’t be a problem, why had they presented them as such? These foreign mares were frustrating to deal with, and were making him grouchier, “Why can’t you just do that for me?”

Fluttershy frowned, “Oh… I guess I can….”

Rainbow glared at him, “I don’t have time for that!”

He stared back at Rainbow. He was beginning to like her less and less. Fluttershy had been reasonable the whole time. If she had nicely asked for her writ back, he would have given it to her. He still hadn’t decided what to do with their writs. He really hadn’t considered any lewd things until Fluttershy had brought it up. If he was a good pony, he’d laugh about it and give them back or rip them up. Rainbow was pissing him off, and he wasn’t feeling much like a good pony right then.

Even if he didn’t want to do anything with them, he wanted to make sure that they were really considering the option. Rainbow didn’t deserve to get her writ back without at least worrying a bit, “So… Maybe if you each spend a few hours with me a day we can work down the time on the writs? It would take a few weeks, but that way you don’t have to spend an entire day at a time.”

Rainbow expressionlessly stared back at him, and Fluttershy gulped nervously. This clearly wasn’t going like they had planned. Rainbow spoke up, quieter this time, controlling her anger and leaning slightly forward, “So are you really serious about this ‘love slave’ thing?”

Rubinstein leaned back in his chair, and took a sip of his water as he thought about it. He had tried to be a good guy before, that hadn’t worked out. Maybe he should be a bad guy for a while? He glanced from the nervous Fluttershy to the angry and suspiciously glaring Rainbow Dash. She already looked like she thought he was dirt. She was a bitch, but she was also a Wonderbolt. He remembered when they had tried to joust for the crystal fair. It was a half hearted attempt, but they were celebrities nonetheless.

When would he ever get this opportunity again? How often would he get the chance to have two famous pegasi at his beck and call? While it was immoral as hell, it was legal as far as he could tell. Eh, fuck em. Rainbow was a bitch at best, and a thug at worst, she probably deserved worse. Fluttershy was innocent, but stunningly gorgeous. She’d just end up being a casualty to her friends arrogance. He needed a win, he’d take the two that fate had given him.

“I’m thinking I might be.”

Rainbow looked disgusted, “I knew you were worthless.”

He tried to reason with her, “Hey, look at it from my perspective. I’ve got time and money on my hands, and fate drops a Wonderbolt and a retired supermodel in my lap. I’d be an idiot to let this go.”

Rainbow had gone from hot to cold, “Whatever helps you sleep at night.” A silent and icy fury was building behind her eyes.

Fluttershy spoke up before Rainbow could get really angry, “Well, um… how are we going to do this then? I don’t like traveling once it gets dark, so we should meet up in the day.”

Rubinstein thought out loud, musing through the possibilities, “Well, I don’t know what you two have in mind, but we need somewhere quiet and away from ponies. We could meet in my hotel room.”

Nervously, Fluttershy tapped her glass of water, “Mr. Rubinstein?”

“Yes?”

She looked down and spoke quietly, “Are you really going to use the writs to do… things with us?”

Rubinstein shrugged, still undecided but keeping his options open, “Maybe.”

“Oh….” Fluttershy looked scared, but took a deep breath and continued, “Well, I’d be more comfortable at my house.”

He raised an eyebrow at her complacency, but the idea wasn’t without problems, “What about your neighbors?”

Fluttershy kept quietly tapping her glass, as she stared at it intensely, “I live alone in a cottage by the edge of the woods. I don’t have any neighbors.”

Rainbow was flabbergasted, “Fluttershy, you can’t be seriously going along with this?”

Fluttershy shook her head and spoke firmly, “We don’t have a choice, Rainbow. He won fair and square.”

Rainbow was getting riled up again, her ears lay flat in rage as she began to get yell, “We didn’t know what we were betting, Fluttershy! That’s not fair!”

Rubinstein surprised himself when he interjected, “Actually, I agree with you Rainbow.”

Rainbow continued yelling, “See, Even Ruby agrees wi… what?” She paused and looked at him confused.

He continued, thinking as he spoke, “It’s not fair. You didn’t know what you were betting, and I didn’t know what I won until just now. It wasn’t a fair bet.”

Rainbow looked hopefully between the confused Fluttershy and the thoughtful Rubinstein, “So you’ll give them back?”

He really didn’t want to give them back. But maybe it hadn’t been as fair as he had thought at first. The mares had thought they’d be applebucking at worst, not being his personal “love slaves”. But he couldn’t give them back for nothing. “I don’t want to just give them up. What if we double down instead?”

Rainbow eyed him suspiciously, “What’s that mean?”

Rubinstein had always been a fan of the saying Go big or go home,“Tonight, we meet at Fluttershy’s house. We’ll play cards. I’ll bring some chips. Whoever ends the game with all the chips gets both the writs.”

Fluttershy seemed confused, “But why?”

He shrugged, “It’s only fair. Then we all know what we’re betting for. Winner takes all. If one of you wins, you can take both your writs back. If I win it stays mostly the same.” he didn’t think that sounded fair, so he added a bit, “Since I’m the only one who stands to lose, I’ll even it out by changing the writs from forty hours to state ‘the duration of my stay’.” If he was going to change his vacation around this stupid bet, he was going to change it big.

Rainbow frowned, “No way! I’m not gonna be your freaking slave for a few months!”

Rubinstein shrugged, “Well, if you don’t want to try and win them back, then we can just keep it at a few weeks. I wouldn’t have any reason to bet them back if I don’t have the chance to get something more. I’ll leave it up to you two.”

Fluttershy didn’t hesitate. A soon as he was done talking, she spoke up. “I’m in.”

Rainbow looked at her like she was an alien, “Fluttershy! You can’t just agree like that!”

Fluttershy looked at Rainbow and spoke sternly, “Rainbow, this is our chance to get the writs back!”

Rubinstein shrugged and looked at Rainbow. “It doesn’t matter to me if you take the offer. If you don’t, I keep the writs and you work forty hours over the next few weeks. If you do, we all get a fair shake at a mostly honest bet. If you’d rather just go through with it, we can.”

Rainbow’s ice broke, and she was furious, “Fuck you, Ruby! You’re on. I’m going to win, and then I’m taking my writ back, and then I’m gonna kick your ass out of Ponyville!” Rainbow was leaning aggressively over the table and pointing at him.

Fluttershy covered her mouth in surprise and then chided her friend, “Rainbow! Language!”

Rubinstein shrugged again, happy that they both seemed on board. “Tonight then. Somepony will have to show me how to get there, say meet here around six?”

Rainbow stood up and smiled for the first time, reaching her hand over for a shake, “I’ll be waiting. Don’t be late.”

Rubinstein smiled back, and replied, “Wouldn’t dream of it,” as he got up to shake her hand. She nearly crushed his, and didn’t let him go when the handshake was over as she stared aggressively at him for a few extra seconds. He left the payment on the table, and clutched his hurting hand as he walked away.

Author's Note

So, what would your average single dude do if he got two pretty pop stars like this? Most people would treat it as a joke, but there are definitely folks out there that would not. Bits of advice and editing done by http://www.fimfiction.net/user/ambion .