Applejack's Halloween

When Stan got back to his apartment building an expected note was pinned to the front message board.

He marched down to the ‘janitor’s closest’ and knocked.

After a pause, the slot where the words ‘janitor’s closet’ were printed slid open, and a pair of eyes looked out.

The slot slammed shut, and the door opened.

Inside what looked like a janitor’s closet Rick, a barrel shaped man wearing a suit and tie, nodded approvingly. Stan entered. He closed the door, locked it, then grabbed a coat-hook holding a dirty looking cloth and twisted it. The side wall gave way to a broad dark room, as large as one of the apartments. In fact it was almost as if it were a converted apartment and not really a janitor’s closet at all. The windows were boarded up. Another man, Ash, waved from a desk, where a wall of computer screens monitored different parts of town; while a third man, Jason, sat behind a lone computer station the corner. He waved, but stayed focused on whatever he was reading.

“I’ve actually been waiting for you. And that reminds me” –he pushed a button on some gadget hidden beneath his suit forearm and called into his wrist- “Bon-bon, get down here.”

He pulled Stan back in the closet and twisted the hook back. The secret door slid shut.

“Didn’t she see the note?”

“She probably came in the back way and forgot to check.”

Ten or fifteen seconds later Bon-bon appeared behind the transparent janitor sign. She knocked, then adjusted her head, tilting it upright, trying to look formal.

“I didn’t know you could see through the sign,” Stan said.

Rick opened the slot and glared at Bon-bon, then closed the slot and opened the door.

“Come in.”

On seeing Stan she gave him a quizzical look, and entered.

Rick closed the door (which automatically locked), twisted the hook and the three of them entered the away-command center. He walked to a box over in the kitchenette.

“Bon-bon.”

“Yes sir?”

“I presume you’re going to the Halloween party tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“Do you already have a costume picked out?”

“Yes.”

“Good, lucky for both of you the outfits I ordered arrived just yesterday. Here.”

He handed her a female ninja costume.”

“But I already picked my costume, I was going to go as an owl~.”

“I know. Lynette looked over your costume. Trust me I’m doing you a favor.”

Bon-bon looked hurt, but she nodded. “Yes sir.”

“What about me?”

“Right there,” he held up a formal suit.

“That’s a suit.”

“It’s a James Bond costume. And your new formal wear.”

“You can’t be serious, I can’t go as James Bond, they’ll-”

“‘Hide in plain view’ Dinman! They’ll never suspect you if you make a joke out of it; keep ‘em guessing. And besides, both of these outfits are real.”

“Real?” Bon-bon asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, put ‘em on.”

Bon-bon and Stan looked between each other.

“Bon-bon can use the bathroom, Stan can use the kitchenette.”

“Don’t worry, Stannie,” Ash cooed, “we won’t look.” Jason chuckled.

“Don’t call me that!”

The men laughed.

“I think it’s cute.” Bon-bon said, on her way to the bathroom.

Stan shook his head.

A few minutes later the two had finished changing. It was no surprise the outfits fit, the organization had all their measurements, but how on earth did they make them so easy to move around in? Stan almost felt like he could go to the gym in it.

“You look good,” Bon-bon said.

“You look angry,” Stan replied. Stan looked fairly conventional, a little slicked back hair and he’d be James Bond for sure, but Bon-Bon’s outfit looked tricky. It covered everything but her eyes, and the black fabric had many gray and dark gray areas and threads, almost like night camouflage.

“Take the mask off,” Rick said, “and maybe wear too much make up. You’re supposed to be a naive teenager. And you. Get into the role, make a joke of it.”

“Whatever. Where’s my gun?” Stan asked.

“Right here,” the man said, pulling out a PPK and shooting him in the stomach.

“OW!”

Bon-bon covered her mouth, while the men all laughed.

“What - was - that!” Stan heaved, clutching his abdomen.

“It’s bulletproof!” Jason called out.

Stan looked down, the bullet had barely left a mark in his vest.

“And that was at point blank,” he muttered to himself.

“Yep. Mind your head. Headshots in espionage are uncommon, but still. It’s also fireproof and easy to clean.”

“Design for maintenance,” Ash said.

“What’s the catch?” Stan asked, trying to stand up straight again.

“Money,” Jason said, typing something in his computer.

“Lots of it,” Ash said, nodding his head.

“Here,” Rick held out the PPK, “this is the safety, and this,”–he indicated a carefully hidden switch engraved in the bottom–“is the deception trigger. If it’s off…” He flipped the switch and pulled the (normal) trigger. A small flame came out the front. “Then it’s a tacky lighter, but even if you think the deception switch is on, don’t point it at anybody when you pull the trigger. Your principal is already aware of your new arm, if you get in any trouble go straight to the top and you’ll be fine.” He handed him the gun, then pulled another, smaller, gun from a pocket and held it towards Bon-bon. “Safety. Deception trigger. It’s smaller so it’ll be easier for you to hide in your purse or something. Even as a gun shaped lighter, you shouldn’t show it to anybody.”

She nodded and accepted the weapon, stowing it away.

“A box of bullets is already in each of your rooms,” Jason said. “Contact us in the unlikely scenario you need more.”

Rick smiled at them. “All right, two new arms for our two best infiltrators.”

Stan was still rubbing his stomach.

“But did you have a shoot me?”

“Sure did!”

“It’s tradition,” Jason said. “Get your first set of bulletproof clothes and try it out. It teaches you things, like bulletproof doesn’t mean invulnerable. You can trust your suit, but don’t ‘over-trust’ it, because if you do get shot it’s still gonna slow you down.”

Stan nodded. “Is her suit bulletproof?”

Bon-bon went wide-eyed.

Rick nodded.

“Then why doesn’t she get shot?”

The adults looked between each other.

“What d you think Bon-bon, you feel like getting shot today?” Jason asked.

Bon-bon flushed with indignation.

“No. But if it’s tradition I can take a bullet as good as he can!”

Rick chuckled and pulled another, much larger, gun out of his suit-coat. “You sure about this?” he said, pointing it at her abdomen.

Her eyes shrank.

“I-I meant with Stan’s gun. Or mine.”

The men laughed.

“Tell her,” Jason said.

“Actually that costume is too expensive, and I don’t want to damage it unless necessary.”

“But isn’t it just-” she started.

“Did you activate the bracer when you put it on?”

“Yes, but I don’t know how this one works.”

“Just active stealth mode and back up against the wall.”

Bon-bon nodded, then rubbed her index finger up and down her left forearm until a screen appeared through the cloth, similar to a cell phone OS. It took her a moment to find ‘stealth’ (especially with the cloth in the way) but when she did she activated it, closed the OS and backed up against the wall.

“Woah!” Stan blurted, as the outfit began to match the color of the wall behind her. It wasn’t an exact match, and she wasn’t anywhere near invisible, but even as close as they were she appeared more as a collection of smudgy shadows or stains on the wall rather than as a person.

Rick pushed a button on his own wrist, and the effect stopped. “It a color changing outfit that comes in extremely useful for hiding out or sneaking around, something you might want to brush up on over the next few days.”

Bon-bon nodded.

“Do I get one?”

“No. You’re too important to us as a front man, we’re not going to have you risk your cover by having you sneaking around people’s backyards in ninja garb.”

Stan nodded.

“Oh, and Bon-bon? I love this suit, I wish I could wear it everywhere, everyday.”

“I love this suit and I wish I could wear it everywhere, all the time,” Bon-bon recited.

“I found it on e-bay and couldn’t let it go.”

“No. I already had an outfit picked out with Lyra, if I say I bought it myself then it’ll hurt her feelings.”

Rick hummed.

“Yeah, but we’re already doing the,”–he made quotations with his fingers–“‘rich uncle’ act with Stan.”

“Her ‘aunt’ it supposed to be in show business,” Ash mentioned.

Rick snapped his fingers, “That’s right. Your aunt was given this costume, but it’s too small for her, so she gave it to you, and now you have to wear it or you’ll hurt her feelings.”

“Right. Okay. Something like that,” Bon-bon said, with a hint of regret in her tone.

“Good! Now go get your homework done, both of you. And remember, it’s better to have and not need than to need and not have.”

”Assimilate seamlessly!” Jason called after them as Rick showed them out.

Out in the hall, Bon-bon still seemed upset. Stan patted her on the shoulder.

“Remember the mission.”

“Remember the mission,” Bon-bon said sarcastically, as she shook free and started towards her room.

Stan watched her pace away.

What was her problem?