I didn’t think it was possible to run out of tears, but I did. As my sorrow consumed and filled my soul, weighing down my shattered heart and spreading over my mind like a foul disease, my eyes ran dry, and I started to sob dryly. It’s all my fault, I thought again. I’m fairly sure that I would have gone down an even darker path if I hadn’t felt a paw on my shoulder.

I jumped and whirled around, a strangled gasp worming it’s way up through my throat. I relaxed slightly, though, when I saw who it was. “Oh, h-hi, Reed,” I mumbled, going limp again. “W-what’s going o-on?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Reed said, lying down next to me. “Cam noticed something was wrong when she saw you over here, unmoving. She sent me to talk to you.”

“Why not come h-herself?” I mumbled callously, causing him to wince, which sent another pang of guilt and shame through me.

“She went over to Tranquility and said something about ‘dude connection,’” he answered, rolling his eyes. “And there was the threat of being hit by a bolt of lightning…”

“I t-think I understand,” I said, a small bubble of mirth rising in me before it was crushed mercilessly by my heart.

“So talk to me,” he said. “If not for your sake, for mine. Electrocution isn’t a pleasant experience.”

Nice to know that you care, I thought viciously before shame rushed through me. He’s just trying to be funny… Here I was, getting an offer for help, and all I could do was take potshots at the offerer. It’s no wonder Tranquility told me what she did. I’m a bad pony, I thought miserably, starting to hyperventilate. Have I been this way my whole life? How many other ponies have I done this to? If I had been in a better state of mind, I would have recognized that I was heading into a downward spiral and cut myself off, but as it was, I didn’t. And each thought cut into me like razor blades, shredding my esteem and emotions. How many have I hurt? Is that why I was bullied in Canterlot? Oh Celestia, how badly did I hurt my FAMILY?

Reed leaned forwards, stuck his paw in front of my muzzle, and made a snapping sound with the toes. The sheer novelty of it shocked me out of my thoughts, and I stared at his paw cross-eyed for a few seconds, speechless. “How did y-you do t-that?” I asked eventually.

“Not important,” he answered, withdrawing his paw. “What is important, however, is whatever’s got you like this. You were going down a dark road there.”

“N-no, really?” I said sarcastically.

“I’ll ask you again: What’s going on?” he inquired, placing a paw back on my shoulder. “You can talk to me.”

I froze up for a moment as a battle rose up in my head, with two sides fighting for dominance. On one hoof, my rational mind said that I should tell him, spill my feelings and take advantage of the offer, let him know exactly what happened. But, on the other one, my instincts were telling me not to. He’s the enemy! they seemed to scream. He’ll use it against you the first chance he gets! Don’t do it, you fool!

I kicked those instincts to the curb. Sometimes, a pony needs to reject their fear and do what’s needed, and this was one of those times.

“It’s a-about T-tranquility,” I started, a pang of guilt stabbing into my gut at the mention of her name.

Reed winced. “Did you tell her about how you felt and get rejected?” he said, apologeticness present in his tone. “Because if so, that sucks.”

“N-no,” I said, looking away from him as sadness rose in me. “N-not exactly, at least…”

“Can you explain that?” he asked.

And I did.

I told him everything, and much like my tears, when it started coming out, it didn’t stop. About halfway through it, my eyes found some hidden reserve of water, and fresh liquid spilled out of my them and over my face, re-soaking my fur. It was about then that Reed started to pat my back as a gesture of reassurance and comfort. It worked… sort of, but at the same time, it made me feel even worse.

Usually, when I worked myself into a state like this or I got depressed, like when my grandmother died, Tranquility was there to comfort me, hold me as I cried, to run a hoof through my mane, to whisper soothing things in my ear. At the moment, I longed for her touch, her embrace, her comforting presence. She was my pillar, and I was hers. But now, my pillar was gone, and Reed’s method of comforting me served as a cruel reminder of that, no matter how unintentional it may have been.

“A-and s-she’s right,” I stuttered, finishing up my explanation. “I-it is my f-fault. If I-I hadn’t been there, y-you three would b-be safe in Symphony. A-and she e-even said that she s-shouldn’t b-blame me, b-but she told me to go a-anyway, s-so I m-must’ve hurt her somehow, a-and that got me thinking b-because I said s-something hurtful t-to you earlier a-and I t-think I might’ve d-done that t-to her and t-then I started to w-wonder how m-many times I’ve d-done that a-and I realized that I-I’m a bad p-pony-”

“Fall,” Reed said, his calm voice cutting through my tirade like a hot knife and grinding it to a halt. “Take a moment to calm down and think, please. You’re just hurting yourself right now.”

I nodded dumbly and closed my eyes, starting to take deep breaths. I hadn’t realized it, but I had started to get light-headed, and I had driven into another downward spiral. As I calmed my body, I started to review what I had said. Reed thought that I was harming myself by thinking those things… but as I went back over each statement, they all shared a common theme.

“It’s all true,” I mumbled.

“What?” Reed asked.

“E-everything that I s-said is true,” I said, reopening my eyes and staring at him. “I-it’s all my f-fault… and I h-hurt my best friend…” I sighed, turning away from him, falling silent once more.

“It’s not,” he said. “At least not from what I’ve seen.”

I didn’t hear him, though, my brain having moved into an even darker place. “It is, though,” I mumbled halfheartedly. “I’ve s-started to think that it m-might’ve been better if I’d d-died in that t-tornado.”

Now normally, I had a fairly decent filter. I was able to catch anything potentially offensive, scary, or threatening before it came out of my mouth. At that moment, it was nowhere to be found, and as a result, whatever popped into my head, I said.

I got to watch the aftermath of that as I saw Reed’s face visibly pale, his pupils shrinking and any trace of a smile melting off his face. Another pang of shame filled my soul. I caused that…

He was silent for some time before he let out a halfhearted chuckle. “A tornado, h-huh?” he said, the hitch in his voice betraying how shaken up he really was. “I don’t think I’ve heard that story. Care to explain?”

“S-sure,” I said. I launched into a brief recap of what had happened on that fateful night, starting with my and Tranquility’s excursion into the woods. I had to stop several times, the memories of my last time with those friends overwhelming me, but I did make it through.

“She d-dove in after m-me,” I said. “That was the l-last thing I-I remember b-before everything went b-black.”

Reed nodded, a smile playing against his face once more. To my confusion, he actually started to chuckle. “W-what’s so funny?” I asked.

After a few more seconds, he stopped laughing. “Sorry,” he said, leaning back into the gas. “I just realized something. This is your first time dealing with something like this as an adult, isn’t it.”

“L-like what?” I said.

“Someone is mad at you for reasons you can’t understand,” Reed explained.

“It’s a g-good deal m-more than that,” I mumbled.

“No, it really isn’t,” Reed said. “You think it’s because you hurt her, and you might have. You think it’s because of what happened in Symphony. You think it’s because you’re a bad pony, but that’s just your mind trying to rationalize her anger.”

“H-how do y-you know?” I asked. “Y-you don’t understand…”

“But I do!” he said.

“H-how?” I inquired, disbelieving.

“Because I understand something you don’t seem to right now,” he said. “Tranquility cares far too much about you to let this ruin your friendship. Fall, she dove into a tornado, something that could have killed her and actually left her permanently scarred, for you. Back when Ivy hit you with that spell, she disregarded her own safety to save your life. Someone doesn’t do that for a person that they don’t really, really like, or even love. Sure, this sucks right now, but just keep in mind that it won’t last forever.”

“B-but…” I stammered. “How can y-you be sure?”

“Because I’ve been in your situation before, with Willow,” he said. “I speak from experience."

“B-but still…”

“If you’re upset about how you think you’re a bad pony, let me stop that thought right in its tracks,” he said. “Who has been nothing but nice to me the whole time I’ve been with your little party? You! Who said that it would be nice if we were on the same side, a comment which made my whole day when I heard it? You! Who stood up for me in D’leuth when Cam put that muzzle on my face! You! Who asked me about the Mages because you didn’t want to lose sight of the fact that they weren’t monsters? You! So don’t give me that ‘bad pony’ crap!” I shrank away from him, something he noticed. He took several deep breaths before continuing. “I’m sorry about that, but I don’t want to see you feeding yourself that poison. We all hurt each other at times, but that doesn’t mean we’re bad.

“Look, I understand that it doesn’t make sense right now,” Reed said, placing a paw on my shoulder. “Heck, I don’t even understand why Tranquility was so mad at you. There's probably something we don't know, but that doesn’t matter. The heart feels what it feels, and when it hurts, it hurts. The heart doesn’t always listen to reason, either, so it might be some time before it realizes that. Just keep in mind that this isn’t gonna last forever, and that she does care about you. Is that okay?”

“It i-is,” I mumbled. “B-but R-reed… I…” I swallowed, closing my eyes. “I-I still am… I-I killed one o-of the songs…” I whispered.

Anything he was preparing to say died in his throat. “Oh…” he mumbled. “Oh… I’m so, so sorry. I don’t think I’d be of much help to you… I haven’t had to do that before. You might want to talk to Cam… she might be able to help. All I can really say is… think about the circumstances. I have a good feeling you wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t done what you did.”

“T-that’s true,” I said. B-but would that be a bad-

“Don’t even think about that,” Reed said, seemingly reading my mind. “Don’t do that to yourself. We want you around…”

“Tranquility d-doesn’t,” I whispered.

“Fall, what I did I tell you earlier?” Reed said, shaking his head softly. I didn’t answer, but I lowered my head.

You said she cares, I thought sadly.

“I take it from your silence that you remember,” Reed said. “Look, I’m not asking for you to try and believe everything I said, because that would probably make you feel worse. I just want you to think about it, understand?”

“Yeah…” I mumbled.

“Good,” he said, standing up. Then, in a surprising move, he wrapped his arms around my waist and picked me up.

“What are you d-doing?” I protested.

“Carrying you back to the others,” Reed answered. “I’m not gonna make you walk when you’re like this.”

“I- okay…” I mumbled, going limp as he started to move.

“Serious question,” he said. “Do you need me to tell Cam to put a protective shield around your chest, throat, and face, so that you don’t harm yourself? What you said about how you thought you should’ve died scared me. I don’t want you hurting yourself.”

“I… maybe,” I answered. “I don’t t-think so…”

“If that changes, let me know,” Reed said, a serious tone in his voice. I didn’t answer, and our conversation drifted away. We continued the walk in silence.

Cam and Tranquility actually had the same idea as us, and were about to get up when we reached them. Reed set me down before they noticed us. He then moved up and tapped Cam’s shoulder. “Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” she responded, sighing slightly.

“What is it, Ree-” Tranquility said, turning around, before breaking off as our eyes met. I could see they were slightly bloodshot, and there were tear tracks running down her face. Guilt flooded through me, and I flinched away from her, looking off into the distance. She did much the same, but I fancied I could see a bit of pain in her eyes.

“Jeez,” Cam said. “Reed, how bad was it on your end?”

“Well-” Reed began, but he was cut off by a warping sound, followed by a strange distortion of gravity. It was a feeling I knew all too well after the past few days: the sensation of a dimensional rift.

It seemed the Mages had found us again.

My suspicion was proven correct when I saw four cloaked figures appear in the air and start to move towards us. One of them put herself in front of the others, pulling down the hood of her cloak and exposing her tight-lipped smile. When she got within ten feet of us, she stopped, the others spreading out around us.

“Well, well, well,” the one in front said. “What do we ha-”

One of Cam’s paws flashed up, and a bolt of lightning blasted out of the pads, ripping through the air towards the Mage. She barely managed to raise a small shield in time. “Wow, just skip the pleasantries, why don’t you. What was that for?” the Mage asked.

“Cut the crap, Ivy,” Cam hissed. “Over the past few hours, I’ve become sufficiently done enough with you that the mere sight of your face made me deem it appropriate to shoot you in the face with lightning.”

“Well, that’s a bit rude, don’t you think?” Ivy asked politely, raising a paw in a condescending gesture. She acted calm, but I could see annoyance in her eyes.

“Of course it is!” Cam confirmed. “The difference between you and me is that I don’t care.” The glowing lines started to spread up and around her body once more, and she raised both of her paws, and a small frown crept onto her face. “You may ask why. At one time, I might have told you that I did it simply to watch your reaction, but that’s not the case anymore. I’ve changed a fair bit. I’ve learned from those around me and from my own mistakes. The reason why I simply cannot find a crap to give about you within me isn’t because I want to watch you squirm, it’s because you deserve it.” Lightning started to run up and down her paws, it’s hissing crackle filling the air. “And let me explain why.

“You’ve torn my life apart and taken Fall and Tranquility with me. Reed once told me that the Mages serve to protect the happiness of the multiverse, to serve all creatures and to make things better for everyone. Well, just look at Tranquility and Fall. Does that look like happiness to you? You’re trying to kill them for being accidentally caught up in this mess. I don’t respect that, so I don’t respect you.”

“You’re one to talk,” Ivy said.

A small smirk appeared on Cam’s face, and one of her paws began to glow. “Yeah, I am,” she said. “I admit I have faults. But the thing is, I don’t have to listen to your rebukes. You have no hold over me.” In one smooth motion, she swept her box to her side, withdrawing a neon-green sphere. At the same time, she slashed through the air, creating a rift. “So suck it. Bye!” And with that, she tossed the sphere at the Mages and pulled us through the portal.

We dropped onto a surface that felt a bit like a feather-pillow. It was a bright yellow color, however, and had a springiness like that of a trampoline. It smelled a bit like a freshly-cut lawn, and I could taste something similar to hay on my tongue. But something else became apparent, something that I noticed when I took a breath.

It was freezing.

Painfully freezing.

Author's Note

I somehow managed to fill two thousand words with a discussion. I have gotten better at writing!

So in this chapter, we learn a bit more about how Fall was affected from this fallout. Tranquility really had this little episode at the worst possible time, didn't she... but we got some bro-talk! Reed's turning out to be a really nice dude!

And Fall's depressed.

I'll say it again, this needs to happen. I'm not sorry for it. Just bear with me.

Let me know if I screwed up grammatically in the comments. I found so many errors when I was reformatting this that I know there's gotta be more.

~Pyrepinna