“Don’t touch the liquid,” Reed said, teeth chattering. “Cam, get us some heat, now.” He crawled over to me and wrapped me in a tight embrace.

“On it,” she said confidently, yanking her box over to her side and starting to frantically rummage through it.

“L-liquid?” I mumbled.

“Liquid nitrogen,” Reed answered. “There’s lakes of it. We landed in the Great Freeze.”

“No kidding,” Tranquility said sarcastically. A second later, her eyes widened. She started to frantically flap her wings, and I could see ice forming along the leather. She launched into a stream of pain-laden exclamations in the thestral language, a fair portion of which sounded like swears. I could feel my feathers and coat starting to get bogged down by ice as well, but unlike her, I had no nerves that ran through my wings other than the limb itself. I didn’t feel pain from it, but I imagined that she was in excruciating agony.

“Cam, we need something now!” Reed yelled.

“I know!” she yelled, shoving her head and one of her arms inside her box. The lines across her body flashed brightly, and she pulled her head out. A bright glow emitted from her paws, and a stream of wood flew out of the box, landing in a pile a few feet away from us. Something else shot into the pile as well, and I heard the tinkle of breaking glass. I wondered what it could be before a familiar roar ripped through the air around us. Thermite! I thought. I wrenched out of Reed’s grip and ran away from the pile.

“What’s the-” he asked, but was cut off as the wood burst into a pillar of flame. “By the void!” He scrambled away as well, but ran over to Cam instead. “Throw up a shield! Trap the heat!”

She did, a glowing dome spreading over the area the four of us were in. Within seconds, the temperature rose to a comfortable warmth, and in a few more, it became sweltering. The ice along my wings and coat melted, leaving me soaked. The temperature continued to climb, though, and pangs of fear started to rush through me. We’re gonna get cooked alive! I thought.

Fortunately, the thermite burned itself out, and the temperature stopped rising. The wood pile settled into a steady burn, just enough to maintain the temperature, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Cam shook her head. “We just had to jump into-”

“CAI ZEIGJE!”

I jumped and spun around, the shout startling me. Tranquility had fallen to the ground and curled up in a small ball, her eyes wide with tears streaming out of them, leaving wet tracks on her dark fur. A constant trembling wracked her body, violent enough to be called borderline spasming.

“Cai zeigje!” she yelled again, fear prominent in her voice. “Cai koum ta ga liferoa du feirote-” She broke off as her voice hitched in her throat, and she started to gasp as if her throat had been partially blocked.

I started towards her, wanting to help, but froze up, my mind flooding itself with doubts. She told you to leave her alone, they said, their insidious voices keeping me rooted to where I stood. What if, in trying to help, you make it worse? What if you ruin your friendship permanently through good intentions? Those doubts grew more and more pressing, filling me with indecision.

Reed quickly strode past me, making a beeline for where Tranquility lay. Dropping to his knees, he placed a paw on her chest. “Listen to me,” he instructed, the tone in his voice making it clear that he didn’t want to be disobeyed. “You need to calm down. Take deep breaths. In… out… in… out… in…” Tranquility listened without question, and within seconds, I could see the trembling in her muscles subside. After about a minute, she appeared to be completely calm.

“T-that was terrifying,” she said shakily.

“Why?” Reed asked.

“T-the ice felt like it burned,” she answered. “It… it’s not important.” She broke eye contact with Reed, but in the process, saw the fire. She gasped and scrambled away from it, hitting the shield. “Why is that there?” she whispered.

“Because it’s the only thing keeping us from turning into popsicles,” Cam said. “I’m sorry, but it’s what I had to do.”

“Okay,” Tranquility said. She started taking deep breaths again, calming herself down, but she didn’t move away from the shield. “Where’s Fall?” she asked eventually, looking around. “Is he hurt? Is that why-” She broke off as her eyes met mine. “Oh,” she said, her voice curt. “He’s fine.”

I don’t know exactly what the others said after that. That single word had contained actual malice and hatred towards me. I fell back onto my haunches, my mouth hanging slack slightly. A slight cracking sound echoed through my ears as I felt my heart continue its route to shattering. I was so shocked that I couldn’t even muster the mental fortitude to cry. Instead, an overwhelming emptiness consumed me, leaving me feeling empty and fragile.

I felt as if I was made of glass, like a single hit could break me. In a sense, it could. I was dealing with things I never had dealt with before. Tranquility was mad enough to hate me, which was worse than before, and I didn’t know why. I felt responsible for the terrible situation. And, overshadowing it all, looming over my soul like a foul storm of guilt, was the burden I bore, the burden of taking a life.

I was vaguely aware of heated words being thrown between the other three, but I couldn’t understand them. I began a slow struggle, an uphill climb to get back into a functioning state of mind. Eventually, the argument stopped, and that sped my ascent. I regained control over myself just as a new conversation started up.

“So…” Reed said. “I have a few questions, Cam.”

“Shoot,” she mumbled, sounding disheartened.

“What did you throw at the Mages?” he asked.

“A stink bomb.”

Reed’s eyes widened a bit, and I felt a small twinge of amusement. Tranquility let out a soft chuckle before it was cut off abruptly, her face transitioning from a smile to a neutral poker face. “You’re kidding,” Reed eventually said.

“Nope,” she responded.

“Why would you throw a stink bomb of all things?” Reed exclaimed, throwing his arms up into the air. “That’s the most perfectly useless thing you could have done!”

“Exactly,” Cam said. “I don’t wanna waste my useful stuff on them if we’re not gonna fight. I could have also thrown a flash-bang at them, but this was more annoying. And if I can be a nuisance to them, then I will. Partially because it annoys them, and mostly because it’s funny as all living crap to me.”

“You’re something else, kid,” Reed said, shaking his head.

“If only the Mages would realize and respect that,” she mumbled. “It might make them leave us alone.”

“I’m starting to,” he said. “Anyway, second question. What kind of spells did you put on that box?”

“None, why?” she answered.

“That makes no sense!” Reed exclaimed. “There’s no way it’s not enchanted! That amount of wood should not have been able to fit in that!” He waved an arm towards the fire. “How did that fit in there?”

“It’s a gateway to my own personal dimension,” Cam explained. “It just showed up in my clearing one day. I assumed it wasn’t a big deal. Don’t all Mages have their own dimensions?”

“No,” Reed whispered. “We don’t. That’s really weird.”

“Really,” Cam said. “That’s odd.” She looked back to the fire. “Should I add more wood?”

“Hold on,” he said. “That doesn’t bother you at all?”

“Not really,” Cam responded. “It’s served me well for almost five years and hasn’t tried to kill me yet, so I’m not exactly concerned about this.”

Reed leveled a bemused stare her way. “Have you considered the possibility you might not be entirely sane?” he asked.

“Yes,” Cam said, a grin spreading across her face. “And I absolutely love it.”

After that, the conversation dwindled down to nothing. Every now and then, Reed would try half heartedly to start up a new topic, but no one seemed to be in the mood to talk. As a result, we sat in silence. A painful, awkward, torturous silence.

Every now and then, Tranquility’s eyes would meet mine, and we’d both flinch away. Each time it happened, a fresh wave of pain rushed through me. Each time, tears would form in my eyes, but I blinked them away before they could run down my face. If the others noticed, they didn’t comment on it… for a time.

Eventually, after the seventeenth time that it happened, Cam sighed and stood up, her paw glowing. I felt my hooves lift off the ground, and I gasped. “Excuse us for a moment,” she growled, walking to the edge of the shield with her magic dragging me behind her. She roughly plopped me down next to her. “When are you gonna pull yourself together?” she hissed.

“H-huh?” I murmured.

“What you did earlier was not okay,” she said, crossing her arms. “Your best friend was having a severe panic attack and you just stood there! Guess what kind of message that sent to her. It says that you don’t care! I know that’s not true, but it’s what she thinks, and I know because she told me. Dick move, man. You better have a good explanation for it.”

“I…”

“Don’t you dare pull that stuttering crap,” she growled. “Whether you realize it or not, you actually hurt Tranquility pretty bad with that little stunt. I-”

And that was all it took.

Tears started to flow from my eyes, and I started to cry. For the second time in a few hours, I completely broke down, slowly sinking to the ground and covering my head with my hooves. Cam had just confirmed some of my fears, and it felt absolutely terrible.

Because of how I had covered my eyes, I didn’t see Tranquility watch as I broke down, or the look of confusion that passed over her face. I didn’t see Reed start to talk to her. I did notice, however, when Cam lay down in front of my face.

“Jeez,” she said. “You have a knack for turning all of my assumptions on their head and making me feel terrible.”

“I-I’m sorry!” I wailed. “I-I d-don’t want y-you to f-feel bad, o-or Reed, or T-tranquility! I-I didn’t d-do anything b-because I was a-afraid I-I would m-make it worse a-and I w-was trying to f-figure out if I would b-but before I-I could R-reed solved it and n-now it is w-worse and it’s all my fault a-and I’M SORRY!” I couldn’t find it in me to say anything else, so I continued to cry.

Cam didn’t say anything for a while. Eventually, though, she let out a sigh. “I’m gonna have to play therapist again,” she muttered. “You are taking this way worse than Tranquility did. What’s going on?”

I told her everything. It all came rushing out once more, in a big, blubbering mess. More than once, I had to stop myself as my emotions overwhelmed me and rendered me inarticulate. Cam didn’t react much, listening and nodding occasionally. It took a fair amount of time to tell, and by the time I was close to wrapping up, I had run out of tears once more.

“A-and overshadowing i-it all is w-what happened i-in Symphony!” I bawled.

“What happened there?” she asked.

“I-I… I k-killed…” I broke off, finding myself unable to continue as guilt surged through me, accompanied by a wave of nausea.

It was enough, though, as Cam’s expression went from neutral to one of shock, horror, and pity. “Oh,” she whispered. A second later, she pounced on me, wrapping her arms as far as she could around my barrel. “I’m so sorry…” she whispered. “I-I didn’t know…”

I nodded, trying to regain control of my vocal chords. I felt a huge lump in my throat, one that blocked any attempt at speech. Eventually, though, I wrestled it down to a manageable size. “R-reed said y-you might be a-able to h-help…” I choked out.

“With dealing with it?” she asked. When I nodded, she sighed. “I can tell you how I did, but it might not work for you. It actually took me a few days to fully comprehend what I had done, and when I did, it hit me like a hammer blow. I contemplated tying myself to a rock and jumping in the river, drowning myself to escape the pain. A life for a life, y’know. But in the end, I didn’t do that, and neither should you. I ended up creating a small stone, one with the memory of his face powerfully enchanted in it. If I touch it, I see it. I keep it in my box, as a memory, and as a permanent apology.”

“T-that’s…” I mumbled.

“It’s my solution,” Cam said. “But it’s something unique. In the end, I think you’ll have to come up with something of your own, something that means a lot to you, to make peace with it.” She ran a paw through my mane. “I’m so sorry, by the way. You’re too nice and too kind to deserve this. No one deserves this.”

“O-okay…” I mumbled.

“Even what happened earlier was a product of that kindness, if I understand what you told me correctly,” she said. “You didn’t want to make things worse for Tranquility, and so you tried to think out whether or not it would help if you tried to calm her down. It just took some time, and Reed stepped in before you could resolve that little debate.”

“Mhm,” I mumbled.

“I’ll tell Tranquility that,” Cam said reassuringly.

“T-thanks…” I stuttered. Cam didn’t say anything else, and neither did I. We spent a few minutes in silence as I struggled to reel in my emotions. Eventually, though, I got them under control, and let out a shuddering sigh.

“I-I’m still afraid,” I mumbled.

“Then let’s go back to the others,” Cam said, lifting me up into the air with her magic. “The best way to overcome your fears is to face them, after all.”

“Or chuck some stink bombs a-at them,” I said as we started to move.

“That too,” she chuckled.

When we got back to the group, Cam set me down, and I immediately dropped my eyes to the floor, not wanting to catch Tranquility’s eye. Cam walked over to her and began to whisper in her ear, presumably telling her what I had said. I tuned it out, but after a while, I felt a set of eyes on me, the gaze laced with confusion.

I looked up, and saw it was Tranquility. Our eyes met, and she didn’t flinch away. Instead, she sent me a questioning look, one that seemed to say “why?” I tried to send back an apology, but I don’t know if I succeeded. In the next moment, our shield shattered, sending a wave of sub-zero gas sweeping into our little bubble.

Our fire was snuffed out, and a second later, a bolt of magical energy smashed into the wood, sending the embers spraying everywhere. Cam’s paws glowed, and something shot out of her box, flying towards where the bolt came from. A second later, a muffled boom echoed around us, followed by startled, fearful exclamations. My heart skipped a beat, and my blood ran cold. Mages! Before my fears could manifest further, though, Cam slashed through the air, creating a rift, and pulled us through.

We landed in another desert-like area, but the sand was reddish-brown and very, very fine. We actually sank a few inches into the ground. It smelled vaguely… old, like an antique carriage.

“I don’t recognize this,” Reed said. “We need to be careful.”

“Of course we do,” I muttered. Not being careful got us into this whole mess.

Author's Note

I honestly didn't know what to do with this. I hit some key points that I wanted to address, but this chapter just ended up being... meh. At least it was to me.

Thestral Language Guide

I'm sorry for the meh of this chapter. The next one will hopefully be better.

Comment if I messed up grammatically. My keyboard has been going to crap recently, so there's probably something in there.

~Pyrepinna