Author's Note

Alright, this is my first attempt at writing clop ever, so sorry in advance if it isn't that great

Hot Night Out

"Shit, shit, shit!"

You dash out of your Canterlot apartment and sprint down the street at top speed, bobbing and weaving past any pony that crossed your path as you frantically race toward your workplace. You were rarely late for work, which was a good track record to have when you served the mightiest beings in the land; for you, Anon, had the honor of serving the noble Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, working within the shining spires and historic halls of Canterlot Castle.

Sure, you were technically just a human janitor working for a couple of horses, but the way you often described it in your head made it sound more important. Now that you thought of it, you had never actually gotten to see either of the celestial sisters in person; after all, they were far too busy with their royal duties to socialize with a lowly alien like yourself.

Regardless of the social separation from many of your new peers and supervisors, you enjoyed your new job. Sure, it didn't pay very well, and you didn't go around bragging that you swept and mopped hallways to make a living, and maybe it wasn't what you told your friends and family back home it's what you thought you'd be doing when you arrived (a bachelor's degree in computer science meant dick to these horses), but at least the pay rate was enough to cover your expenses, the work load was more than manageable, the bathrooms gave you a safe place to whack it on your breaks, and you had made a pretty great friend during your time working here.

Even if she did freak out when things got slightly out of hand; just another reason you tried your best to be punctual.

As you stealthily creep into the main foyer of the castle, you silently pray that you could make it to your locker, put on your work uniform, and at least pretend you had been there the whole time.

"Anonymous!" A sharp voice snaps from behind you.

Fuck. Even in a world where magic is a common occurrence, wishes don't come true. You turn around and grin sheepishly at Raven Inkwell, Celestia's assistant, Castle Canterlot receptionist, your supervisor, and your only friend here in Equestria. "Hey, Raven," you say with way-too-forced nonchalance, "what's up?"
The white unicorn narrows her eyes as she telekinetically adjusts her glasses. "'What's up' is that you're nearly a half an hour late for work, while the stallions' bathroom is out of paper towel, and the hoof-dryer in the mares' room is acting up again!"

You grimace; you just fixed that dryer yesterday! "Shit, Raven, I'm-"
"Language."
"Fuck, sorry," you apologize, and suddenly realize what you said. "Shit, fuck, sorry," you say quickly, and slap your forehead in defeat. "I am sorry," you say clearly, practically forcing yourself to hold back any more curse words. "I've been having trouble sleeping lately, and on top of that I forgot to set an alarm... Today has just been a shit-show," you explain defeatedly. "God dammit, I'm sorry!" You add almost instantly.

Raven nods slightly. "Well, be sure you put those items on your to-do list as soon as you punch in," she commanded, and her expression softened a bit. "And I'm sorry I have to be so harsh; being your friend makes it hard to be your supervisor, you know?" She gives you a small smile and whispers, "It fucking sucks!"
You give the mare a smile. "Well, whose idea was it for us to get to know each other better in the first place?" You tease as you head for the locker room.
Raven trots behind you, an embarrassed scowl on her muzzle. "Hey, who else can I talk to around here?" She demanded defensively, "the Princesses don't have much time to socialize, and the maids and butlers around here are too stuffy to have fun and interesting conversations with. You're actually... you know, cool."

You give the mare a friendly grin. "I think you're pretty cool too, Raven," you reply thankfully. "Any chance we could forget about the tardiness issue?"
Raven smirks and shakes her head. "You were late, and I can't just let that go unnoticed by the Princess," she explained. "However, I could tell her you were only 15 minutes late, if you can get an ample amount of work done before your lunch break," she adds cleverly.

You give her a dutiful salute. "You've got it, boss!" You reply thankfully, and march off to the locker room. Your jumpsuit and name tag are waiting for you on their usual hooks, and you smile hopefully and whistle a cheerful tune as you wheel your cart out into the halls.

When your shift ended, you punched out with a contented sigh; nothing like a hard day's work to make you feel accomplished. It was strange that doing your job filled you with so much satisfaction, while you often debated at home whether or not it would be worth the effort to get up and change the channel when the show you were watching ended.

Then again, maybe the fact that you actually got paid to clean was the reason for your eagerness.

"Anonymous!" Raven's voice calls your name as you prepare to head home for the evening. Princess Luna had already raised the moon, which meant you were already running late for the Maredevil marathon you had been anxiously awaiting all day. You turn to see Raven galloping up to you, a nervous smile on her face. "I was wondering... You have tomorrow off, right?" She asked hopefully.
You nod. "Yup. I've got the whole weekend off, actually," you say happily. "Two whole days to myself to watch TV and laze around... It's gonna be awesome!"

"Well, I've asked Princess Celestia if I could use one of my vacation days tomorrow, so I was planning on going out with a couple of friends for some fun tonight. Would you like to join?" Her question makes the gears in your head start grinding at an elevated rate. On one hand, you were really looking forward to that marathon, but on the other, you were interested in an excuse to go out and actually socialize for once instead of passing out on the couch with your fingers covered in Cheeto dust.

Eh, I can always marathon it on Netflix when I'm in the mood, you eventually decide. "Yeah, I'd be up for that," you say nonchalantly. "Will your friends mind me coming along?"
Raven shrugs. "They might be a little awkward at first, but I'm sure they'll like you; after all, if you're good in my book, I'm sure they'll accept you!" She adds happily. "Come on, we can head right down!" She motions you to follow her away from the castle, onto the streets of the city itself, and eventually to a rather lively nightclub called "Dionysus' Paradise". You raise an eyebrow as you and Raven approach the front door. "This isn't the kind of place I thought we'd be going," you say slowly.
Raven gives you a worried look. "Oh, I'm sorry, Anon," she apologizes. "I just assumed you were the kind of person who'd want to unwind on a Friday night with a drink, but I should have asked first..."

You frown at her disappointment. "No, not at all," you reassure her. "I'm totally cool with it, I just would have liked a bit of forewarning, you know? When you said you'd be going out to have fun with some friends, I assumed you meant 'dinner party' or 'mall shopping' or something," you explain with a nervous smile.
The mare rolls her eyes and smirks. "Men," she sighed, her tone equal parts exasperated and teasing. "No, we come here every Friday night to complain about work, gossip about current events, and hit on the stallions."
You chuckle. "Well, that does sound pretty fun," you admit. "It's been a while since I've gone out for a drink, actually; there aren't a whole lot of humans living in Equestria just yet, and most ponies are still a little xenophobic towards me, so I don't hang out with anyone very often."
Raven gives you a mischievous smile. "Oh, trust me, you'll have a great enough time tonight to make up for all the Fridays you've spent indoors," she says as you approach the front door. "A night with me and my friends is always a great time!"

In the front hallway, which has an overall black theme with pink accents, there's a muscular stallion guarding the main entrance with a neutral expression on his face, but he frowns when you approach. "Gonna need some ID, Earthling," he says flatly. "I haven't quite learned how to judge age on you folks yet, so I'll need some proof that you're at least 21." You pull out your wallet and show him your Equestrian work visa, which handily states that you are of sufficient age to party. He nods as you put your wallet back into your pocket and steps aside. "Apologies for the holdup, sir," he says politely as you pass and enter the main lobby of the club.

The first thing that hits you is the music. Loud, electronic beats pulse through the air and shake the walls as you and Raven make your way toward the bar. "I'm gonna admit, I never thought you were the kind of girl who'd appreciate a place like this," you yell over the background noise.
Raven laughs. "That's because I work as a secretary for a princess," she points out. "Everyone assumes I'm just a stuffy bookworm who just follows Celestia wherever she goes and writes down every time she scratches her rump or picks her nose."
You snort. "She really does things like that?" You laugh, "I thought she was all regal and majestic."
The unicorn giggles. "Only when she's in the public eye," she explains. "If you think that's bad, you should see her when she first wakes up in the morning. Let me tell you one thing: there's a reason the castle has five hairdressers under employment.

"Oh, there they are!" Raven cries suddenly, waving a forehoof at a pair of mares at the bar, who also wave back at her ecstatically.
"Raven!" One of them, a glasses-wearing Earth Pony with lavender fur and a blonde mane calls happily as you both draw near. "Glad you could finally make it," she teases as the two exchange a hoof bump, and then looks at you. "Oh, I know who this is," she says cleverly as she sizes you up.
The other friend, a pink earth mare with an orange mane, gives Raven a teasing nudge. "I see you brought your office lover along for our weekly night of raising Tartarus," she says smugly. "You might wanna keep an eye on her, Anonymous; she gets very friendly when she's drunk, if you know what I mean."

Raven flails her forehooves in embarrassment at her friends. "You two are such jerks!" She says, her white cheeks getting rosy.

Your own face is also getting a little red as you take a seat between Raven's friends. "You guys know who I am already?" You inquire as Raven sits beside her lavender friend, who nods quickly.
"Oh, Raven does not stop talking about you," she explains while grinning at the flustered-looking unicorn. "Every Friday, it's 'Anonymous said the funniest thing today', and 'Anonymous is so handsome', and 'I want Anonymous to hide under my desk and eat me out as I take requests from subjects'."

Raven is beet-red now, a fact that her other friend is now noticing. "Grace, please, save the naughty talk for when we're all at least a little tipsy," she says, and gives Raven a comforting wink before bringing her attention to you. "I'm Peachy Plume, and this is Grace Manewitz," she says nonchalantly. "Raven's told us a bit about you during our past meetups; your a janitor at Castle Canterlot, right?"
You nod. "Yup, scrubbing toilets and mopping floors," you reply awkwardly. "It's tough work, but it's worth the pay."
Peachy Plume sighs heavily. "At least you don't have to deal with patients every five seconds; don't get me wrong, I love working in a hospital and helping ponies, but sometimes when we're backed up or short-staffed it can be a bit much."

"Hey, at least you're saving lives at the hospital," Grace chimes in. "I've gotta deal with every single wannabe designer who stumbles in thinking they're gonna be the next Trenderhoof, raving on about their inspiration and the struggle of being a starving artist..." She huffs in annoyance and turns to Raven. "Well, obviously I'm ready for some drinks," she says with a laugh.
Raven nods eagerly and waves to a nearby bartender. "Can we get a round of shots?" She asks politely. "Whatever Strussian vodka you recommend."

The bartender, a unicorn, scratches his chin with a forehoof thoughtfully, before his face lights up. "Ah, this stuff just came in yesterday," he says as he levitates a bottle down from the mirror-backed shelf behind him. "180 proof, crystal-clear, and I mix it with Himaneighan mountan spring water so it soothes and burns your throat going down," he explains as he mixes the drink. "It's also to keep you from getting absolutely shitfaced after just one shot," he adds with a clever wink. "I give you, 'The Static Moonlight'," he concludes proudly as the liquid pours into four tiny glasses in front of you and the mares. "Enjoy, and remember it's ladies' night, so all of these are half-price," he says with a wink at Peachy Plume as she slides him some bits, before trotting to the other side of the bar.

You all down your shots quickly, and you realize the bartender wasn't exaggerating; it felt like you were swallowing boiling water and a Slurpee at the same time, and it was delicious. You cough a bit at the strange sensation of pain and pleasure in your throat, and Grace gives you a teasing smile. "Mr. Human having a little trouble handling his liquor?" She inquires with a poke to your arm.
You grin sheepishly. "I've just never had anything like that before," you explain nervously. "I'll get used to it."

Raven's face lights up as she levitates the container over your glasses for another round. "Well, let's get you used to it as soon as we can!" She yelps, and sucks down her shot without a second thought.
Peachy Plume gives Raven a wide-eyed stare. "Well, someone's a little eager tonight!" She exclaims as she gulps down her glass. You see Grace has already finished hers, leaving you to stare awkwardly at your still-full glass.

You gently grab the glass and lift it to your face. "Ooh, I have a fun idea!" Peachy Plume says just as your lips are about to touch the rim. "Let's make it a body shot!" She reaches over the counter and grabs a lemon wedge in her hooves. "You ever done this before, Earth-boy?" She asks in a sultry tone. You shake your head, which makes her smile. "Alright, just hold still," she commands, and squeezes the lemon onto your neck and places it in your mouth so half of it is sticking out from between your lips.

"What's this all about?" You ask with a laugh, lemon wedge clutched between your teeth, and gasp as Peachy Plume licks the juice off of your neck, sucking on your skin for just a moment before drawing back. "Now kiss me," she says as she steals your shot, sips it into her mouth, and slides the other half of the lemon wedge into her mouth. Your lips meet her's as the vodka flows between her mouth and yours, further enhanced by the juicy piece of lemon. You can also feel her tongue darting at your's, as though she's going for a full kiss, but the fruit you're sharing with her makes that difficult. She eventually separates, taking the lemon with her and leaving you with the mouthful of vodka, which you quickly swallow.

"W-wow," you utter as Raven and Grace cheer. "That was... That was something."

You feel something wet on your other shoulder, and turn to see Grace has squeezed some lemon juice onto you with an eager grin. "Hey, Peachy doesn't get all the fun," she insists, and stokes the juiced spot on your shoulder with her tongue as she looks deep into your eyes. "You can do the honors on this one," she says invitingly, placing the lemon between her lips and giving you an expectant, half-lidded gaze. You quickly pour yourself a shot, dump it in your mouth, and slide the lemon between your lips. Your thoughts are wild as Grace drinks the shot from your mouth, and she lets out a satisfied "ahh!" when you part lips.

"Alright, Raven, we won't hog your stallion any longer," Peachy Plume says, passing your coworker a wedge and you another shot. "Bottoms up, you two!"
You and Raven glance at each other awkwardly. "Uh, should we really?" You ask slowly, "I mean, it'd be kinda weird..."
Raven nods. "We are friends, after all, and we see each other every day..."

Grace rolls her eyes. "Oh, for pony's sake, give me this!" She snaps, and squeezes the lemon onto Raven's shoulder, who lets out a surprise yelp as Grace licks the juice off. "Drink," she commands as she takes your shot and passes it to Raven, who quickly obeys, while placing the crushed lemon in her own mouth, and then the two mares lock lips.

It's at this time that you notice the crotch of your pants is unusually tight; having your body licked by a couple of girls and then watching one of them make out with your coworker and best friend has you incredibly turned on. Peachy Plume notices this, and gives you a nudge on the shoulder. "Hey, your little friend will get some attention soon enough," she promised in a low voice so the other two won't hear. "Just keep calm and play along; it's been a while since any of us have been with a stallion, so we'll get there in no time."

Raven and Grace break their kiss, and Grace giggles while she wipes off her glasses. "What was that, Peachy?" She asks curiously.

Your cheeks redden as you adjust your posture to make your erection less obvious. "Nothing!" You say quickly. "She was just saying you two looked cute."
Peachy Plume smirks at her two friends. "It seems your human boy-toy enjoyed that even more than you did, Raven," she says, giving you a smug wink. "Anon is pitching a tent in his pants!"
Grace looks excited. "Really?!" She practically screams, but lowers her voice as she adds with a giggle, "Anon... You should totally show us your rod."

You've achieved maximum facial redness now. "Uh.. what?" You ask slowly.

All three mares are giving you expectant looks, with Raven looking a tad uncertain. "Show us. Your human. Cock," Grace demands. "Be discreet, though; we might get thrown out," she adds quickly.
You shake your head. "No, come on," you insist, "this isn't right. Not only are we in a public place, but we're also completely different species."
Peachy shrugs. "So? Do you have any idea how many cross-species relationships happen in Equestria?" She asks rhetorically. "Griffon on Pony, Minotaur on Griffon, Pony on Minotaur; you've also got Yaks, Changelings, Hippogryphs, and I guarantee there's at least one other human out there who's getting it on with a pony right now."
Grace gives you a loopy smile. "Come on, we can laugh about it later," she pleads hopefully.

You groan, seeing there's no point in arguing; they're obviously not going to stop bothering you until your package is on display. "Fine, but be gentle," you grumble as you unzip your pants. "I know it probably doesn't look like what you're used to, but... Here it's is." With a sigh, you pull Little Anon out of your underwear, and he stands at maximum attention in the presence of three drunk mares.
"I won't lie; it isn't that bad-looking," Grace says thoughtfully. "It's about the same as a stallion's, maybe a bit shorter, and doesn't have a medial ring, but the shape of the tip looks fun!"

Peachy Plume nods in agreement. "Well, girls, why don't we take this party somewhere private, since it's obvious that going any further is going to result in some tickets for public indecency." She gives Raven a teasing smile. "Why don't we head over to the house of whoever's closest?" She asks, her words slurring.
Raven looks annoyed. "That would be you, Peachy," she points out.
The pink mare grins and shakes her head. "Nuh-uh; I moved into a new apartment last week, remember?" She says sweetly. "You're the closest now, Raven."

Raven gulps as the revelation dawn's on her. "Oh. Right," she says nervously. "Alright, I guess we're going to my house," she says with false enthusiasm.

The four of you practically collapse in Raven's living room, and Grace wastes no time in kicking things into high gear. She leaps on top of your legs, pulls your pants and underwear down, and gazes lovingly at your erect penis. "It looks even bigger up close," she mumbles, and her warm breath right on the skin of your shaft is driving you nuts. She sticks out her tongue and gives the tip a tiny lick, which makes your whole body spasm in surprise and arousal. "Ooh, someone's excited," she giggles as she gives your tip a few kisses, before sucking on it like a candy store lollipop.
"Grace, you aren't going to be the only one having fun tonight," Peachy Plume insists, and trots over by your head. "It might look different from what human girls are packing, but trust me, you'll love it." She turns around and swings her ass into your field of vision, giving you a full view of her ponut and her throbbing marehood. That's no exaggeration, by the way; her clitoris is literally pulsing out every two or three seconds like a beating heart.

In your normal mental state, you probably wouldn't be totally disgusted by this; a little put off and uncomfortable, sure. Now, however, after several shots of vodka and a pair of lips wrapped around your cock, it may as well be the most beautiful thing on the planet. "Scootch down, Grace," she insists as she straddles you and gives you a clever wink. "You ready, hun?" She asks slowly.

You nod, your eyes wide and hungry.

Without another word, Peachy Plume's peachy pony pussy descends onto your mouth, and you immediately set to work eating out her glorious marehood; kissing it, tongue-fucking it, sucking on her pulsing clit until she squealed with pleasure... It was incredible. All the while, Grace was hard at work with your shaft, licking and sucking on its entire length before enveloping the entire kit and caboodle in her velvety mouth. You moan pleasurably from underneath Peachy's ass.

"See, I knew you'd like it," the mare sitting on your face says before yelping as you nibble on her sweet spot. "Ooh, and I knew we'd like it, too. Come here, Grace," she commands, and Grace stops sucking on your cock and begins making out with Peachy, who raises her rump off of you and begins moving her new partner over to a nearby sofa. You glance at Raven, who had been watching the whole time with an unchanging, shocked expression, and blush as you smile at her. "So." You say awkwardly.

She nods. "So."

"We're both drunk, and we don't have to work tomorrow," you point out slowly. "You wanna..."

Raven shuts you up by leaping at you and pressing her mouth against yours, wrestling with your tongue in a sloppy, drunken make-out session. When she breaks the kiss, she takes off her glasses, undoes her bun, and looks into your eyes as her hair falls over her face. "I wanna fuck you until neither of us can stand," she moans.
You stare at her with a shocked expression for a moment, before grinning and reaching down for your crotch. "You've got it, boss," you say dutifully as you line up your shot.

Steady, Anon, stay on target... Now!

You move your hips to press your dick against Raven's pussy. There's a bit of resistance at first, but with a little effort you push your way into her velvet underground. The warm softness of her walls is unlike anything you've ever experienced before, and you instinctively begin thrusting in and out of her, erratically at first, before developing a steady rhythm.
"Ohhhhhh... Right there, Nonny," she moans pleasurably, and you begin to kiss and nibble at her neck. "Mmm... I've thought about this, you know," she whispers as you gently fuck her. "Just you and me, here on my living room floor... And in my bedroom... And in the bathrooms at work..."

With every word she speaks, you can feel "Little Anon" getting stiffer; at this point you could replace your cock with a steel cylinder and it probably wouldn't feel any different to Raven. There's a pressure building in your loins, and you slow down your thrusting a bit to help your fortitude. "I think about you a lot, too," you admit. "Whenever I'm on break, I jerk off and imagine you in a sexy lace outfit, sprawled across your desk and begging me to make you mine."

Raven giggles and kisses you more. "How close are you?" She asks with a restrained moan.
You can feel your orgasm building up now, even at your slower speed. "Pretty close," you groan.
Raven begins to actively grind against your crotch, forcefully taking control of your fuck. "Finish inside me," she begs you. "I wanna feel your hot, sticky cum inside me, and then I wanna cum on top of you."

The unicorn riding your dick mashes her mouth with yours in yet another messy, unorthodox kiss, and you feel yourself reaching your peak. You thrust into her balls-deep and let out a loud, passionate cry as you empty your load in Raven's marehood, and you hear her cry out as her marecum spills out onto your thighs, crotch, and stomach, and it drips onto the floor beneath you. As you sit there, a pile of drunken, afterglow-ridden human and pony, you look into her brown eyes and smile. "I love you," you say breathlessly.

Raven's face takes on expression of shock, and you panic for a moment thinking you shouldn't have said that, until her face softens and she blushes. "I love you, too," she whispers, giving you another long, more-focused kiss, before closing her eyes and nestling against your chest.

Your eyes snap open the next morning, and a searing headache tears at your brain. You glance down and see Raven sleeping softly on top of you, your now-flaccid cock resting limply against her vagina. You look up and see Grace and Peachy Plume had fallen asleep on the couch, one hoof pressed against the other's marehood with a contented smile. You turn your attention back to Raven and tap her shoulder. "Hey," you whisper softly. "Hey, Raven."

Her eye blink open sleepily, and she lets out a quiet, pained groan. "Shit, my head," she growls, but gaps when she sees you. "Oh, no," she says quietly. "Oh, no, no no no, what have we done?"
You blush as you look deep into her eyes. "We went out, had a few drinks, and crashed at your place," you insist. "Nothing else." Raven sighs and looks down, and you brush some of her hair over her ear. "Or, we went out, got wasted off of some body shots, had beautiful sex, and fell asleep after admitting we loved one another."

Raven gives you a thoughtful look. "You know, when you put it like that, it does sound a lot better," she giggles. "I just wish there was something I could do to get rid of this headache," she adds, rubbing her hoof against her head.
You grin sheepishly as a thought enters your mind, causing "Little Anon" to rise once again. "Well, I read somewhere that an orgasm can help get rid of a headache..." You say slowly. "You wanna-"

Raven presses her pussy against your cock until you enter her, and gives you some hardcore bedroom eyes. "Fuck yes," she moans.
You grin eagerly and get to work, silently hoping that all of your subsequent Friday nights will follow a similar pattern.