Overcoming The Past

The sky was beginning to dim. I could tell by the levels of light pouring in through the window.

“Do you guys remember when we first met and I told you about how I skipped a few classes?”

"Yeah, back when you started hanging out with us a month ago. What about that?" Rainbow Dash responded cluelessly.

I continued. "Well, it is true that I was able to skip a few classes, but it didn't happen all at once. You see: It all started back in Kindergarten when I was little."

The Pies and Dash seemed intrigued as they listened to my speech. "While most kids there were playing tic-tac-toe or running around playing tag, I was reading and studying. I don't know why, but I enjoyed it. Just opening a book and tuning all the noise out seemed peaceful and serene. I loved reading so much that I started reading into everything in every book. Every piece of the plot stood for something, every piece of every character stood for something, every prop, every location... When my teacher found out about this, she was very impressed by my interpretation."

"Eventually," I continued, "when my parents were told about this, I was taken to a testing center to see how advanced my intellectual skills were. I swear, I must have taken a hundred tests over the course of a few weeks. When it was all done with, my parents were told by the testing facility that I was 'gifted'. They said I had the intellect of a middle schooler, and recommended that I advance onto 7th grade."

Rainbow Dash seemed to be confused by this and didn't understand the the sizable jump. In fact, everyone's faces looked perturbed, so I thought it best to explain.

"You see, in the school system, there are 12 grades, plus Kindergarten, so 13. K-5 is Elementary, 6-8 is Middle, and 9-12 is High School, usually. I basically skipped six grades after being in Kindergarten for only 4 months."

Everyone seemed rather surprised by this, silently applauding me with their eyeballs for my "gift." but I continued, though this time my voice started to sound a little more upsetting; broken, stuttery.

"So in August, a month after I turned seven, I went on to seventh grade. I skipped the rest of of elementary school... but I kk-kind of didn't want to..." I blushed a little.

"Then why did you?" Rainbow Dash asked after she finished her meal. Pinkie followed. “Yeah, why?”

I coughed.

"I felt like it was what my parents wanted. The moment they realized how intelligent I was, they were so proud of me that it seemed like they wanted me to go through with it. They were just so happy and all-for-me that I was afraid. I thought saying no might disappoint them."

I frowned a little, showing this was clearly bothering me, but before any of them could intervene, I continued.

"After arriving there, I kind of, well… I was mocked; made fun of."

At that moment, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash were stunned to hear this. Pinkie dropped her sandwich on the floor before inquiring,

“Made fun of you how?”

Answering this question would be painful, but I took a deep breath and prayed silently for courage.

"It started with verbal abuse. The other kids would make fun of my age, appearance, and anything else they could think of. I was able to let that much roll over me. You know what they say, sticks and stones… Eventually though, some of the girls started doing more… physical things, like dumping milk over my head in the cafeteria and knocking my books and papers out of my hands in the hall. Everyone told me I was a huge baby.”

The Pies and Rainbow Dash were all appalled. Maud stood and spoke.

"I will hunt them down and make them apologize."

I nervously laughed. Maud talked like she was serious. Before anyone questioned the matter, Pinkie chimed in and said,

"Whoa, Twi. You were bullied?"

I looked away again and closed my eyes, unable to look at them. I finally responded in a quiet whisper.

"Yeah, but middle school wasn't even the worst of it. High school came after that…"

Everyone squirmed in their seats, pained by the mental image of me being tormented. My head hung, I must have looked like a pulsating sphere of sadness ready to burst. Maud, who was still standing, walked toward me and gave me a hug. It felt nice to be held. It felt nice to be loved. I am so happy I am away from those wretched places...

Maud’s embrace brightened my spirit somewhat. My head rested on her gray sweater as she squeezed me. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie just watched in awe and sympathy. A spell of time passed before I raised my head, opened my eyes, and forced a small, dim smile. I was grateful for Maud’s loving gesture. Maud then retreated, happy to have comforted me. She turned to face her sister and Rainbow Dash on the couch and returned to them as they all patiently waited for me to continue. I couldn’t tell if Maud had a soft spot for me or if she just felt guilty for not changing the subject earlier in the kitchen. Whatever the case may have been, I continued from where I left off, a little more happy than when I first began. Unfortunately, that happiness did not last long.

"Anyways," I said as I tried to remember where I left off, "Umm… so… I was only in middle school for two years. I aced so many tests and quizzes that the school recommended I try some high school leveled practice exams. I was reluctant, but the abuse from the other kids wouldn't stop, so I agreed. I was hoping high school would be better." I paused as I tried to order my next thoughts into a coherent sentence.

"So I went along with the tests and, surprising nobody, I was high and above Canterlot High’s standards. They said middle school was too basic for me and that I should go off to high school. I was excited to be accepted into high school at such a young age, but I was kind of sad too. I never had any friends growing up. I had been alone my entire life. I was told kids in high school were more mature and open-minded, so I--" I froze and clamped my eyes shut, fighting the tears. This is always a painful story to remember.

I can only imagine the looks everyone gave me, but nobody spoke. I don’t know if they were afraid of making me sadder or just confused. The whole world felt like it was collapsing on me, and the pressure increased every second.

Tears started trickling out of my eyes, however tightly closed they may have been. I had to finish my story, so I spoke, tearfully choking over my words.

"I was actually... gullible enough *sniffle* to believe them." I wiped the tears out of my eyes, wanting to prove I was still somehow strong. But--but I couldn’t even stop-- *sniff* stop crying--

"Twilight don't! You don't have to tell us if this is hurting you so much.” Rainbow Dash spoke. “We feel horrible for making you feel like this. Please don’t hurt yourself any more trying to tell us this story."

Pinkie quickly interjected along with her.

"Yeah, we want you to be happy, not… this."

Pinkie has always known how to cheer me up when I felt this much like garbage, but not this time. I didn’t even know what to call my emotions. Was I feeling pain? Sorrow? Anger? Regardless, my outburst flooded the room. I felt even worse for it, but I made everyone else feel as sad as I was right then.

Maud silently stood and walked to the kitchen when I started to cry. After a minute or two, she returned with a cup of tea, hoping to calm my nerves. She walked past the couch and placed the drink on my hand. Without even checking to observe it, I took a sip and brushed my hair back.

I still couldn’t stop the tears. "Tha-- *sniff* thank you…," I replied in a in a very quiet and devastating manner.

I took a sip of the tea as Maud returned to her seat to give me all the space I needed. The others sat with dumbfounded looks on their faces, unsure whether or not to speak. Pinkie whispered to Rainbow Dash, saying,

"I don't know what to do here. I don’t want to just sit here and watch my friend be miserable. We shouldn't make her feel like she has to continue, but we can't just tell her to stop."

Rainbow Dash replied,

"I know, but I feel lost too. I don’t have any idea what to do in this situation either."

Those two were awful at whispering. I could hear every word they spoke. Maud joined the ‘hushed’ conversation and said,

"I hope the tea will calm her nerves. It always does mine."

It wasn’t even hard to hear them, but I was-- *cough* happy that they cared about me. I felt like I had to say something, so I choked out a few words:

"Girls. *snif* It's okay, really. It's just that… nobody has even asked me about my chi-- *cough* my childhood before.” I tried to sound as calm as I could. “I have never had to talk about it before, so I just tried… not to think about it..."

"What about your parents?" Rainbow Dash asked. "They had to have known about your movement to high school. Did they never catch on to how you felt about it?”

I stared straight at her and exclaimed,

"No, th--” I choked on my words. “I know they loved me, but I was scared that they wouldn't love me anymore if I stopped excelling in school. But before I tell you that story, …c-can I finish with high school?"

Everyone seemed a little discomforted by this, fearing it would only devastate me more, but they did not want to hurt my feelings even more. Saying no would only have only made me feel unappreciated.

Pinkie spoke out on behalf of the other two with some uncertainty in her voice.

"Umm, s-sure, if it will help."

I was actually able to force a smile through my tear-stained face as I sipped on the tea Maud made me. I think the drink actually did help me. I sat the cup on the table and continued sewing my yarn.

"I told my parents about my accomplishments and the big places I was going and once more, they were very happy for me. My dad even took me and my mom out to dinner that night to celebrate my achievement. Between me, the news, the food, my parents, and my brother were laughing and praising me. They told me I was a “great kid.” They spoke about how they “always knew I was destined for greatness,” I sounded spiteful in my words. I didn't hate my parents, but I have never felt an emotional connection to them. "They were surprised that I was blessed with such genius at such a young age."

"I ended up accepting the offer and, when I was nine, started out my freshman year in high school." I said this smiling a little more, looking almost normal and having moved past from the near breakdown a little while ago. "Now, I was at high school a while longer than the other schools, but that was mostly because I stayed and took more advanced classes earlier on. We had a total of six classes per year, and since high school lasts for four, how many is that?" I quizzed the girls.

Rainbow Dash answered first, "Uh, 22?"

Pinkie followed suit. “Would it be 26?

I chuckled and shook my head. I needed to laugh. Maud finally spoke and gave the correct answer, 24.

"Correct. I could have just taken basic classes, but some of these basics could be replaced with college versions: Pre-calc. with AP calc, History with AP Hist., and so on. Some classes could not do this, like algebra and economics, at my school at least. Truth is though..." I stopped to catch myself, instantly losing the smile I had reclaimed. "I only did it because my parents along with my brother thought I should. I mean, they did tell me that 'they believed I could do it' and 'I did not have to if I didn't desire it', but I thought it was just there way of saying they wanted me to."

In that instance, I noticed Rainbow Dash’s body language communicated that she felt sympathetic for me, and she felt guilty. She correlated what my parents got me to do with her own actions earlier. She turned her head away from me to drown herself in shame, but looking out at the window, she noticed the sun was going down. I couldn't believe that night was coming so fast. It seemed too soon. One thought came to mind… how long have I been talking?

“Wow. I feel bad for taking up your entire afternoon, guys. Do you want me to stuff a metaphorical yarn of shoelaces in my oral cavity?"

“No no no! Please continue!” Pinkie objected.

"Well, okay … Stop me if I become annoying though okay?”

After pausing for a few seconds, I resumed.

“So what my middle school counselor had told me was a gargantuan lie. Maturity was most certainly not present there. The students thrashed me both verbally and physically.”

Rainbow Dash jerked her head up and stared at me unbelievingly, and Pinkie’s jaw dropped exaggeratedly in incredulity. The other Pie sister’s eyes were unfocused moved and filled with dubiousness. I took another sip of my tea and prepared for the worst before continuing.

"The torment started the first week I was there," I started off in a teary, upset voice, "I-I was bullied daily for my size and age. *cough* My ss-supplies were stolen from me most days of the wea-ww-week by the other girls. They would take my notebooks and toss them to each other over my head to taunt me. When they were done, they threw it either on top of a place I couldn't reach or in a trashcan when I was fortunate. At least I was able to retrieve my belongings then.”

They closed their jaws and returned to normal eye size after Rainbow Dash replied,

"That's terrible!"

"It gets worse." I said back to her, sniffling a little, but not tearing or crying. "None of the other students wanted to be my friends when I was there. They said that I wasn't 'cool' enough to be around them and that I should 'go back to playing with dollies' or 'have tea with my imaginary friends.' The nerve! My imaginary friend was a much more real friend to me than any of the dweebs at the high school!" I must have started to sound angry in that last sentence because everyone looked spooked. I tried to collect myself.

"I tried to just shrug everything off. For the most part it worked. I kept all the pain and all the tears inside. But there was one time when I actually got into a fight with a kid.

"No way, Twipes!" Pinkie shouted in unbelief. "I can't see you ever hurting anyone!"

Ow. I shivered and turned to face my friend. Those words caused me pain. I don't like hurting anyone, that much is certain, but it happened. I opened my mouth to speak.

"It wasn't really an intentional 'fight.' You see, when I was a sophomore, a little accident happened. I turned a corner in the hallway while I was walking to my fourth class when Lollipop, one of the meanest girls in school, dashed around coming from the other side. She crashed into me. She had a coffee in her hand from lunch and, apparently, my collision with her dumped the entire hot mess on her skin and pink dress. She ran to the water fountain nearby to cool the coffee off. I ran to her and begged her forgiveness, but she was boiling over in anger." I was now transitioning from some sadness to anger with every passing word, getting up from my seated position to stand up in front of them and paced back and forth as I spoke.

"She started complaining to me about how this dress of hers was brand-new and how I had ruined it. Nevermind the fact that her reckless dashing through the halls caused the accident. I told her she could just wash it out, but I don't think she was even listening to me at the time, what with the pain she felt." Then came the scariness in my voice. "She walked to me slowly, but angrily. I was only 4 ft. 7 at the time and she, being fourteen, had to be at least 5 and a half. She sucker punched me right in my face!"

My shouting startled everyone, with Pinkie reaching over towards Maud for the pillow she was leaning against. She couldn't reach it, but Maud, not breaking her stare at me, handed it to her, who then tucked himself into a ball and the pillow tight around her arms and chest.

I ended my short rant, saying,

"I ended up getting a black eye and, when the nurse asked what happen, I told her I tripped outside and slammed my face on the flagpole. I don't know if anyone honestly believed that ridiculous story, but nobody questioned it. Nobody called my bluff. None of the kids those who witnessed the battle said anything about it. I chose also not to say anything because I feared Lolly would hurt me again or get her friends to hurt me. Everyone at that stupid school already hated me enough."

"What about your parents and your brother? What did they say?" Rainbow Dash asked.

I hung my head in shame and explained, "I just didn't tell my parents. l gave Shining the same bonked-my-head-on-the-flagpole story. I didn't want them to be disappointed in me and having to take me out of school because of that."

The others were confused as to how I could said say such a thing. I continued speaking. My voice sounded sadder with each passing second.

"I was in high school for three years, but I could have graduated from there much sooner. The reason I stayed longer was because I had completed all the basic classes and AP substitutes that were necessary to get a diploma, but I chose to stay and do more college classes, knowing I would attend college anyway and wanting to save money and and– and…" I stopped to gather my breath. "...and then after that I would become an adult."

Rainbow Dash spoke up and asked,

"Wait a minute, is that one of the reasons why you didn't go off to college proper: because you don't like getting older?"

I looked myself up back to the trio and protested,

"No, not exactly. It's because I think it was not best for me."