Lonely Among Us

I woke up, and it was the same old story all over again - I didn’t know where I was, and my body felt very weak. “Damn, why is it so dark in here…”

My ears slowly adjusted to my new surroundings and I was able to hear some muffled voices… “...even though I knew him only for a short time - I can tell you I never met a more courageous person in my life...”

Someone was talking outside, the speech sounded like a eulogy. “Hmm, sounds like somebody is getting... Oh, don’t tell me...” I stopped and quickly examined my surroundings. No wonder it was dark, I was in a coffin.

"Ha! My own funeral... Wait, what the hell is that?" I realized my body felt weird - I was wearing something. "Rarity, you really did that tuxedo after all, eh? Crazy girl..."

In the meantime, I realized that the outside voice sounded familiar. “...and so with great sadness, I bid farewell to our hero - we shall not forget him,” Twilight finished her speech, her voice sounded depressed.

"Hmm, I have never been to any funeral here before... Perhaps I should wait a little longer, and listen to what others have to say,” I said to myself.

“Thank you, Princess Twilight Sparkle… Now I would like to say final words," that voice I could recognize anywhere - it was Celestia. "The person we say goodbye to today wasn’t one of us, he was from a distant place - so different from Equestria that, when he first arrived I was afraid. Afraid he will disrupt the balance that took us centuries to build - I choose the easy way out - I sent him away," her voice sounded full of shame.

"When he returned, even though he owed us nothing, he fought for our freedom, making the ultimate sacrifice in the process. I, the Princess of the Sun want all of you gathered here to know that if it weren’t for him, we wouldn’t be here today.

"Neither myself nor my dear sister, nor anybody else from the royal family was able to stop the Shadowdancer at the time, we succeeded only because of the actions of this one hero - and for that, he should have our eternal gratitude. Farewell, captain - may you find peace in death.”

“Not bad speech Princess, not bad at all," I said to myself, as a tear of joy formed in my eye. "I guess it's time."

BAM! BAM! BAM!

I hit the casket lid a few times, and a moment later everything went quiet. I could only imagine the look on pony faces at the time. A few seconds later the silence was broken. “OPEN UP THE CASKET, HURRY!” I could hear Celestia voice, mixed with the crowd commenting loudly.

Seconds later, noises started coming from the casket - followed by loud CRACK. When the lid was finally lifted - I sat up while my eyes adjusted to the sunlight again. When my vision finally returned I realized they were all there - the princesses and the girls - as well as numerous other ponies I haven't seen before. The crowd was huge. "The reports of my death are gravely exaggerated," I said with a smile while trying to step out of my coffin.

Suddenly the world started to spin, and everything went black again - apparently, I wasn't as healed as I thought. "Hey... Who turned off the lights..." I managed to say, before hitting the ground. The last thing I remember is someone shouting, “Somepony call a medic...”

***

*BIP* … *BIP* … *BIP* … *BIP*

I woke up in a comfy bed again - vital signs monitor was beeping slowly. After a quick scan of my surroundings, I realized I was in the room, I escaped from before being sent to the moon, I also noticed it was the middle of the day and that I wasn't alone. "Ahem," I said to the guard sleeping in the corner of the room - but there was no reaction.

“AHEM!” I tried even louder, but still nothing, “HEY! You alive?”

Finally, he woke up and began rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Umm… ye… oh my! You are awake!” his eyes went wide - he looked like he saw a ghost. “I'm going to inform the Princess right away!” before I could say anything, he ran out of the room.

Utilizing the moment of peace I tried calling my assistant, “APE, you there? Reboot or something," but there was no response - he was still offline, "damn always sleeping on the job.”

Suddenly, the door opened loudly and excited Celestia and Twilight ran inside. “Oh boy, here we go again...” I said to myself - predicting the awkwardness.

Twilight was the first who got near me. “CAPTAIN! YOU MADE IT!” she screamed with a happy voice while hugging me strongly, “we… we gave up hope…” she added and then started crying.

I tried to lighten up the mood. "Yeah... I got that part from the funeral and all."

"No... I meant after that."

“Huh? How long was I out?”

This time, Celestia responded to my question - with her usual calm voice, “More than three months, after you collapsed.“

This time - my eyes went wide, it took me a few seconds to process what I just heard. “Three months?! Hmm - I guess Rarity would say, I needed my ‘beauty sleep’ or something,” my words made both alicorns smile. “There is one thing I wanted to tell you the whole time,” I said calmly to Celestia.

She put an expression of interest on her face. “Oh? What would that be?”

I breathed deeply - taking in as much air as my lungs could handle. “You are stubborn… ugh! I don’t even have a proper insult!" I shouted with an angry voice. "What the hell were you thinking?! Do you realize that by not sending me to the moon, you have put the safety of whole Equestria at…" I stopped when I noticed both alicorns giggling softly. "I will regret this question but - why are you laughing?!” I asked with an annoyed voice.

Celestia turned to Twilight and lightly shook her head. “OK Twilight, you win. I really didn’t expect him to be this obstinate,” Celestia commented with a smile, and then turned back to me. “Oh, and you are welcome.”

I don't know what was more annoying - the fact that they anticipated I will bug them for not listening to me at the time - or the fact that they completely ignored what I just said. Looking at Celestia with an irritated face, I asked angrily, "Don’t you realize what you did?”

“Yes, I saved a friend. Just like before - he saved me and countless others,” she responded with a smile, using against me - the same argument I used a few months ago.

"I don’t know if I should thank you, or scold you… don’t get me wrong - I appreciate that I’m alive, but the cost of possible failure was so great... I wasn’t worth the risk.”

Celestia took one of the chairs and sat down next to my bed. That gentle smile was still on her face. "I think, I finally understand why you like Fluttershy so much - both of you have very low self-esteem," she responded with closed eyes. “After what you did for us, trying to save your life was worth the risk, captain. I had believed our spell should be enough, and thanks to the Elements - it was.

Twilight - who in the meantime sat next to Celestia - took over. "You see, once the force field collapsed, the girls and I regain our powers. With combined forces, we were able to purge the energy out of your body.”

My head was still shaking in disagreement - but deep in my heart, I was asking myself: what would I do in their place... And the truth was, I would have probably try to save them as well. "OK, but let's make one thing clear - I'm no hero, got it? I did, what had to be done - nothing more."

"Isn't that the definition?" Celestia responded with an amused voice.

I put both of my hands on my face - I didn't know if she was irritating me on purpose, but I didn't want to play this silly game anymore - I surrendered. "Fine, call me what you want. But don’t think this makes us even - for saving Equestria, you owe me a favor… and a drink.”

“Agreed... But what kind of favor would that be?”

“I will let you know when I need one - right now, I need to get out of this bed.”

***

We walked for a bit, my body was still rather weak - but at least my right hand managed to regrow. Celestia asked Twilight and me to her ‘tea party’ - where we discussed the last months - and what I missed. "...that's how we managed to 're-calibrate' the power of the Tree of Harmony," Celestia said while sipping her tea.

"I see, you had your hands... Or rather hooves, pretty busy... However, I was wondering - what should I do now... Got any pointers?"

Instead of Celestia - Twilight responded to my question with an excited voice. "Come back to Ponyville! You can stay at my castle - plenty of empty rooms there. I still want to talk to you and APE and do some research! Please say yes!"

I put a smile on my face and turned towards Celestia. "Is she always this excited about research, or is it about me?"

"Captain!" Twilight responded with a hint of irritation.

"She usually is - that's just her way," Celestia added with a smile.

"Princess! Not you too!"

Both Celestia and I giggled for a moment, while Twilight was staring at us with an irritated face. "Oh, don't be like that Twilight - there is nothing shameful in being excited about your hobbies, besides - my memory stores a lot of research back from Earth - it would be a good idea to put that data to good use," when Twilight realized how much research potential my technology had - her face quickly turned to excited again. With her eyes wide opened, she looked like a kid in a candy store.

"Still... I will need a job," I struck a thinking pose and began wondering what would I be good at - with my knowledge, I could do a lot of things - but I quickly went for the simplest one. "Need anybody assassinated, Princess?"

To my pleasant surprise Celestia responded with a smile, "Not presently, but if something comes up - I'll let you know," her answer made Twilight choke on her tea. I only smiled - it was good to know, Celestia had a cheerful side as well.

"But seriously, please know that, for your services to the country, you were granted a lot of bits - and the government will pay for the house of your choosing - that's the least we can do,” Celestia responded calmly.

“I guess some money could be useful. Thanks.”

Our tea party lasted for a few more minutes. I wanted to visit Luna, but she was resting after her 'night shift,' and I decided not to disturb her. Finally, Twilight and I said our farewells to Celestia and then took a chariot to Ponyville.

***

The trip took about an hour - since this time there was no immediate danger, I just relaxed, admiring the beautiful land I helped to save only a few months ago. Trees, grass, and lakes below us, the sounds of pegasi foals playing in the clouds, the view of earth ponies plowing the fields - it was all so soothing, so peaceful, that a huge smile formed on my face. That is… until something caught my eye.

“Twilight… what the hell is that?!” I asked with irritation, already knowing the answer.

Twilight responded with a smirk. “Oh, that? That’s your statue.”

My head started shaking from side to side, as I covered my eyes in frustration. “The horror… I don’t want no statues… ugh. The horror...” Twilight only smiled and chuckled softly.

A few moments later we landed in the center of Ponyville. As soon as I stepped out of the chariot, everybody started glancing in my direction. Soon, a crowd began to form. “Captain, you are alive?!” somebody said with an excited voice. A second later I felt a sharp poke in my back.

“He is real!” some other pony shouted, and then the horror began.

"LOOK! It's HIM!"… “Would you give me your autograph?!”... “Me first!”

The ponies rushed me! Happy faces hungry for the piece of their hero were closing in for the autograph. I was surrounded, there was no place to run - my worst nightmare came true, I became a celebrity! Funny as hell, it was the most horrible thing I could think of.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I reacted. “PONIES! PLEASE! NOT TODAY,” I shouted loudly, “please, I just woke up from a three-month sleep… I need some rest and relaxation, OK?”

Surprisingly, the crowd listened to reason, and soon Twilight and I were alone again.

“Now that this is taken care of, please come with me,” Twilight pointed her hoof at her castle. I knew she informed our friends I woke up, and that they were to wait for us there.

We arrived a few minutes later. It was the first time I saw her place up close, compared to the rest of the buildings in Ponyville it was huge. When Twilight opened the door, the cold air hit my face - the temperature inside was perfect for my taste. “The girls will be here shortly - please make yourself at home, I will be right back,” Twilight said as she pointed to one of many rooms. As soon as I went inside the lights went out.

POOF!

“SURPRISE!” the mane six shouted, as Pinkie Pie fired her party cannon.

“You knew the whole time didn’t you?” I said with a grumbling voice to Twilight, who in the meantime teleported into the room.

“Of course!” she responded and put a paper party hat on my grumpy face.

A few seconds later everybody in the room was hugging me, one by one. Soon, my mood improved to the point, that I decided to give this celebration a chance. “OK, fine, I guess this ‘partying’ thing can’t be that bad… can it?”

“BAD?! Parties are the best!” Pinkie shouted as she jumped around me, “repeat after me: ‘LIFE IS A PARTY!’ ‘LIFE IS A PARTY! ...’”

And so it went on until midnight… I must say it was pretty nice for the most part, although, Pinkie behavior was making me nervous - randomness is not really my thing.

After the party, for the first time in years, I had a happy dream. “We see, you finally slept well captain,” said a calm voice, coming from the blue alicorn.

“Oh, hello Princess. Yeah, this… this was a pleasant dream,” I responded with a smile, “sorry I didn’t come to see you, but Celestia told me you were resting after the night, I didn’t want to disturb.”

“We understand,” she responded calmly… but her voice sounded a bit abnormally.

“Is there something wrong?”

When Luna silently landed near me, I quickly noticed that her face had an uncertain look. “We would like to ask you something… personal, but we are afraid how you will react,” she said with embarrassed voice.

Her question was a bit unexpected, but I responded with a reassuring smile, “Princess… after all, we’ve been through a few months ago, you can ask me anything.”

“We thank you, the question we wanted to ask is… how… how did you manage to fo… forg...”

Luna was searching for words, I could see the pain on her face - watching her inner struggle I was able to guess the question. “How did I manage to forgive your sister for what she did to me? That’s the question, isn’t it?” Luna didn’t say anything - only nodded her head slightly, as a single tear formed in her eye.

“Hmm, this is simple, yet complicated at the same time..." I got up and started staring at the beautiful dreamland in the distance. "Do you know why I had those nightmares? There were two reasons - the first one was the fear of failure.”

I sighed heavily, as memories of my past suddenly filled the dream - while unintentional, the visualization allowed me to express my inner pain to Luna more directly. “With all my powers, all the technology - I couldn’t do anything, to save my world. I tried... The best minds of the time tried and yet, we still failed," the images of people dying from the virus flashed before our eyes. "But it was I, who was forced to witness it all. A few months after the last people died, the nightmares begin.”

Soon the images faded away, I sat down in front of Luna, staring at the ground. “However the nightmares were powered by the second reason - the fear of myself, fear of what I have become-”

Luna interrupted me with a surprised expression on her face. “We don’t understand… you feared yourself? But why? You didn’t become evil like…” she stopped before finishing, as another tear formed in her eye.

“No, but I knew I was going mad… the isolation was taking its toll off my mind... My worst nightmare was that I finally found some survivors, only to be chased away by them, when they realized what I was. Then… enraged, full of energy - with no controls of my actions I... Killed them all..." suddenly the dreamland around us started to visualize that nightmare - both of us could see my 'alter ego' killing other people without mercy.

I expected a horror in Luna’s eyes, but instead her face was filled only with sadness. She not only felt my pain, she understood it - we might have been different outside, but I could tell that our fears were very similar. “When the power outburst happened, and I was sent away, I was angry at first. But then, when my nightmares returned, I realized why Celestia did it," I said calmly. "If I was scared of myself, I could only imagine what she must have felt when she saw what I was capable of.”

Luna shook her head and responded nervously, “But that doesn’t make it right!”

“You are right, it doesn’t - and don’t get me wrong, I still think she made a mistake, but… I can understand the reason.”

For the next few seconds, we sat in silence just staring at the ground of the dreamland - I could see Luna wasn't satisfied with my answer. “Look… I know for a fact that Celestia regrets what she did to me AND to you, perhaps you should just talk to her about it? After all, everybody makes mistakes. I know I do.”

Luna lightly shook her head. “We… I don’t think I’m ready for that - but I would like to talk to you more often... If you are willing?” she asked with a hint of embarrassment.

“Ha… I was actually looking forward to talk some more with you. Perhaps we will be able to help each other,” I responded with a smile.

For the first time since our conversation started, Luna put a smile on her face. "I... I would like that," she responded with an uncertain but happy voice.

“Excellent! Together, we should be able to formulate the plan to overthrow Celestia, and send her to the moon herself!”

The Princess’s jaw dropped when she heard my words - it took her a moment to realize I wasn't serious. “Ugh... You really need to work on your sense of humor,” I added with a hint of irony.

“We… I shall try... And please - call me Luna,” she responded, as the smile returned to her face. We chatted for the next hour.

When I finally woke up - the sun was climbing over the horizon - painting the sky above Ponyville with crimson and gold. I could hear birds chirping outside my window - looking at the beautiful sight, and listening to the sounds of nature made me feel a bit closer to heaven.

“Looks like the start of a nice day,” I said to myself with contented voice - for the first time in ages, I was happy...