The Diary of John, the Least Interesting Stallion in Equestria.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Dear Diary,

Today was a very exciting day. It all started when I was brushing my teeth. Now, just bear with me a moment. I know that the prospect of brushing one's teeth is very... ...how can I say it?... ...wild as is, but you will not believe what happened while I was brushing my teeth in the morning (and, by the way, this isn't even the highlight of the day. There is so much more to talk about that I can scarcely believe it. I think I'm starting to become more and more out-of-control and wild as the days go by. Soon, I think I might find myself going to social gatherings and passing more than an hour in the library. What would mother think of me?).

My goodness, I am sorry for beating around the bush (so to speak, of course) - I know what you are thinking, diary: "What was it that happened to the toothpaste? Goodness gracious, it must have been pretty exciting." Well, let me tell you, that it is very exciting indeed. I hope this isn't too much for one day, but...

...The toothpaste tube was clogged a little more than usual, and I just knew that it was a sign that today was going to be different. I was right.

After getting ready for the day, I was walking down the street to run a shopping errand (I'll admit that I got a little out of control and reckless last night and had let the little party animal in me drink two cups of tea rather than one - which means that i ran out of tea). The sun was yellow. The sky was blue. The clouds were white. It looked like quite an ordinary day.

But then I saw it.

There, on the ground not three feet from me was a small gold coin. One bit. I was ecstatic and overwhelmed. This was all so much. I quickly picked it up (finding bits on the sidewalk are lucky, you know). After placing it in my pocket, careful to keep it away from all the ordinary bits I had, I resumed my grocery gathering.

Finding that bit wasn't the only exciting thing to happen today, though.

I got to the store and found out that the tea was on sale. Oh my goodness. I was thrilled beyond describing. This is where I feel I stepped out of line. I'll admit that once in a while an adventurous nature takes a hold of me and I cannot do a thing to hold it back.

I bought two tea bags instead of one.

I know it's crazy, but I have no clue where that came from. I can only suppose that my lucky bit had something to do with me being able to buy two bags of tea today. You would think that this was the high light of the day for me, but you would be wrong, dear diary, for there were more events to come.

After purchasing the tea bags, I was just about to leave the store, when I bumped into none other than young Ms. Twilight Sparkle quite literally. That was nerve-wracking for me, as you can imagine. I was sort of nervous and (after standing up and helping her up, of course) apologized for the inconvenience.

Now, I know I don't have perfect memory, but the conversation went something like this:

"Oh, I'm sorry for bumping into you like that, Ms. Twilight Sparkle."

"It's no problem... ...uh... ...what was your name again?"

"John. I live a few streets over from the library."

"Oh yes! I remember you now. You sent me those air conditioner manuals for my birthday. That was... ...very thoughtful of you."

I confess that at this point I nearly blushed in embarrassment. I don't know what came over her to speak so loosely of such an expensive gift. Then again, I suppose, young folk are more easily talkative than others.

The conversation continued (and, of course, not exactly in these words, but something like this):

"So what are you doing down in the store today, Ms. Twilight Sparkle?"

"Oh, I had to go pick up several ingredients required for a spell I'm practicing. It will allow any food to turn into any flavor, with a little bit of magic, of course."

I swear, I would have called the police if I didn't know Ms. Twilight Sparkle better. But that young mare and her friends did save us all on multiple occasions from things that make me very nervous. I probably shouldn't even be talking about Nightmare Moon, Discord, and those Changelings, because that makes me get a little nervous. Too much excitement for one day is unhealthy, you know.

Anyways, the conversation went on.

"So, what are you doing downtown today, John?"

I beamed proudly and puffed out my chest a little, to show that I could be bold and daring too, if I wanted.

"I'm buying tea. And guess what?"

"What?"

"I found a lucky bit. That means that now I have to choose what to spend it on. Isn't it exciting?"

She sort of paused for a moment, struck by how exciting it all is, I'm quite sure, and then spoke again.

"Uh... ...yeah. It sure is, John. Well, I have stuff to buy so goodbye."

"Goodbye, Miss Twilight Sparkle."

I then continued on my way and sat down in the park (on a bench, of course. To sit on the grass would be too wild and reckless for someone like me) and thought. I was deciding what to spend my lucky bit on.

The choice was tough: It would either be laundry detergent, soap, or some new toilet paper.

In the end, I went with the laundry detergent: a whole packet of it. It was very thrilling, to be sure, and now my golf hat will certainly smell a lot better when it goes on its next bi-weekly wash cycle.

Well, diary, that's all for today. It's almost eight o' clock, and I can't afford to stay up too late. I don't know if I'll be able to get to sleep until eight thirty, though. Today has been very exciting.

Goodnight, Diary.

Sincerely,

John