His Smarty Pants

Spike stared out the window of his bedroom, watching the great outdoors. It was a beautiful spring day. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and flowers were blooming. The sight of everything was appealing to the eye, even Spike's eye. He loved spring, almost more than he loved gems.

But he wasn't watching nature embrace spring today. He was staring at the white carriage parked in front of the Castle. He didn't know much about it, but what he did know was that the carriage was waiting to pick up his friend, Princess Twilight Sparkle, as she had an assignment with Princess Celestia. Once she left, he would be home alone for an entire weekend, just like he liked it. But, with Twilight spending hours in her own room preparing to leave, he was getting a bit impatient, but he knew the wait was worth it. After staring for another twenty minutes, he finally heard hoof-steps go down the stairs, and the front door open.

"Spike! I'm leaving now!" Twilight called from downstairs, "Make sure to clean up any messes you make, and I'm gonna be unavailable for the weekend, so call Rarity if you need anything!"

"OK Twilight!" Spike called back, his eyes still glued on the carriage, "See you on Monday!" In the next minute, Spike saw Twilight walk outside, enter the carriage, and the carriage finally fly away. Spike still stared out the window for another ten minutes, making sure Twilight wasn't coming back for anything.

Once he felt the coast was clear, and the Castle was all his, he smiled and went into his closet. He then pushed his comic-bookcase over to get behind it, revealing a familiar purple chest. He reached into one of his comic books and pulled out a golden key, using it to unlock the chest. He finally opened the chest, smiling at what was inside.

Inside the chest was Smarty Pants, a doll made for Twilight when she was little. Spike pulled the doll out of the chest and cuddled her tight, sighing in comfort. Spike really loved Smarty Pants, even more than he loved spring and gems.

Spike received Smarty Pants for his tenth birthday as a last-minute gift from Twilight when her studies made her forget about his birthday. At first, Spike wanted nothing to do with the doll, as he thought he was too old for dolls. But, at one point of boredom, Spike decided to give her a try, and he soon became attached to her. He understood why Twilight loved her so much during her fillyhood, and why she never went anywhere without her.

But a year later, playing with Smarty Pants in public started to feel a little uncomfortable, as he felt like people were mumbling about him being immature. Plus, there was something inside him that told him he was growing up, and shouldn't be taking toys everywhere he goes, so he decided that he should only play with her while he's completely alone. Spike hugged Smarty Pants more, nuzzling her.

"We've got the whole Castle to ourselves now, Smarty Pants," he said to her, "It's just you and me for the next two days." He kissed her cheek. In his mind, he imagined Smarty Pants speaking back to him.

"Yes..." Smarty Pants said, "It's wonderful. I can finally live outside the chest for two days..." Spike smiled and thought for a bit.

"Now, how about some tea, hmm?" he asked.

"That sounds lovely..." Smarty Pants said, "But only herbal tea please."

"Aww, why can't we drink chamomile this time...?" Spike asked, "Herbal tea is too bitter..."

"Because Spikey, chamomile tea runs right through me," Smarty Pants said, "You don't wanna go to sleep in a wet bed again, do you?" Spike sighed.

"No, Smarty Pants..." he said, "I love you, but not enough to lay in your pee." Smarty Pants giggled. "Besides, how could I say no to you anyway?"

"Uh... you can't...?" Smarty Pants asked.

"Of course not," Spike said, kissing her muzzle, "And I'll just add some extra sugar cubes to mine. It'll taste just right then." Smarty Pants smiled.

"OK Spikey..." she said. Within the next twenty minutes, Spike made a pot of herbal tea and brought it to the coffee table downstairs, along with a plate of emeralds and a plate of sugarcubes. He sat Smarty Pants in a plastic folding chair and parked himself on the green, tiled floor across from her, sitting on his diamond-shaped pillow.

"Spikey, are you sure you wanna sit on the floor...?" Smarty Pants asked, "The chair's much more comfy..."

"But there's only one chair, and you deserve to be comfortable," Spike said, "Besides, my pillow's comfy enough, and it feels good on my bum."

"Oh... OK..." Smarty Pants said, "But if you get uncomfy, let me know..." Spike nodded as the two sipped their tea.

"Oh, and I brought some emeralds too," Spike said, pointing to them, "I know you like those." Smarty Pants smiled and took a hoofful, munching hungrily on them. Spike smiled and watched. "I didn't know ponies could eat gems. They'd tear up their insides."

"But my insides are made of cotton," Smarty Pants said, "So I don't feel a thing." Spike shrugged and continued working on the tea.

Later that night, Spike and Smarty Pants were getting ready for bed. Spike was laying in bed, waiting for his friend to finish using the bathroom so she could join him. Spike waited ten minutes before Smarty Pants finally came back out, laying in bed with him.

"Jeez, Smarty Pants," he said, "You sure were in there for awhile. Were you tinkling an ocean in there?" Smarty Pants giggled.

"No Spikey," she said, "I had to do more than tinkle... if you know what I mean...?"

"Yeah I get it," Spike said, giggling as well. Smarty Pants yawned and snuggled close to him.

"You plugged in my favorite nightlight, didn't you?" she asked.

"Of course," Spike said, "It's the rainbow nightlight with glitter all over it, right?" Smarty Pants nodded as Spike turned the lamp off, the nightlight in the corner giving just enough light to spook away any scary monsters. Smarty Pants smiled and snuggled closer to him.

"Thank you, Spikey," she said, yawning once again, "You're such a great friend..." Spike blushed lightly.

"And so are you..." he said, "Goodnight, Smarty Pants."

"Goodnight, Spikey..." Smarty Pants mumbled. The two friends fell asleep almost instantly.

Actually, one of the friends fell asleep instantly. Smarty Pants was snoring away in Dreamland, but Spike had been faking his sleepiness. Spike checked to see if Smarty Pants was truly asleep by poking and shaking her. Once he saw Smarty Pants remain unmoved, he smiled andnd lifted her into his arms.

"Yes... I've been waiting for this for so long..." he whispered to himself, being a little more careful not to wake Smarty Pants, "...Smarty Pants is asleep, and I'm home alone..." He got out of bed and walked to the middle of his bedroom, sitting on the floor, holding Smarty Pants like a foal comfortably. "...and now... I'm gonna make sure Twilight doesn't try to steal you back from me..."

There were only three things Spike was scared of: timber-wolves, waking up in wet beds, and the worst of all, losing Smarty Pants. That was his greatest fear. As previously mentioned, Smarty Pants was a last-minute gift, meaning Twilight wasn't completely intended to give her to him. Spike never gave it much of a thought at first, but once he did, it scared him greatly. He feared that Twilight would confront him and demand her doll back, even though she hadn't played with her since she was seven.

But, thanks to several nature documentaries, Spike found out a way to guarantee that Twilight will never want Smarty Pants back. However, the only way he could do it was if Smarty Pants was fast-asleep, and no one saw him do it. Even though Twilight usually went to sleep before he did, he always was paranoid that Twilight would wake up and check on him, and catch him doing what he had to. But this time, Twilight was gone, and Smarty Pants was sleeping, just the way he needed it.

"This is probably the only chance I'll ever get to do this..." Spike said, "So... I better do it now..." He cracked his knuckles eagerly. "...and I'm definitely gonna love this..."

Spike swallowed his spit and cleared his throat, beginning what he had to do. He stuck two of his fingers into her mouth and began to massage the back of his throat and uvula, making him gag hard. He knew exactly where to touch his throat to make himself puke, after several years of faking sick so Twilight would let him stay in bed. But this time, he was trying to make himself sick for a different reason.

After massaging his throat for a few seconds, he finally hit the perfect gag, and instantly puked all over Smarty Pants. The warm, thick vomit coated Smarty Pants' torso and face. Spike jammed his fingers into his mouth again, stimulating his gag reflex again as he sent a second helping of tummy-smoothie onto his precious doll. This helping of puke pulled a little bit more out of his stomach as traces of tea and undigested emeralds plopped out onto the doll. The second load began to drip onto the floor, but Spike didn't give it any mind. He poked at his throat one last time, puking a third load before he decided to stop, as the stomach acid in the third load burned his throat. He smiled and looked at his vomit-covered friend, sniffing her hard and audibly.

"You're starting to smell like me, Smarty Pants..." he said, his voice a little weak and raspy, "...but this isn't enough... Twilight could still want you back..." He felt a familiar feeling below, which made him smile eagerly. "...and that's good news for you... because I'm gonna go a little step further..."

He laid Smarty Pants on the floor, not caring that his vomit was leaking onto the floor. He then raised himself onto his knees in front of Smarty Pants, grabbing his flaccid penis. He relaxed his pelvic muscles and sighed. Instantly, he began to urinate all over Smarty Pants. As he did, he guided his stream up and down, trying to cover Smarty Pants all over in his piss. He sighed again in pleasure as he continued. He always loved the feeling of a nice pee, but this one felt so much better than the other ones, as he knew this one was for a good cause. He peed for a solid minute, completely soaking Smarty Pants.

Once he felt his bladder gauge starting to run on "E", he began to exert himself, trying to completely empty himself on his doll. He got a few more squirts before he was finally empty. Even though he was, he still began to push, pulling on his member lightly, trying to milk himself of every drop. To his surprise, he got nothing from the front, but a loud blast of gas and a sudden blockage in his ass told him about something else. He smiled wider.

"Might as well..." he mumbled, "It'll help my chances even more..."

Spike let go of his member and stood up, standing in his vomit/urine puddle. He then turned his back toward Smarty Pants, popped a deep squat, and raised his tail. He looked back at Smarty Pants with a smirk, then tightened his face as he began to grunt. He farted loudly again, the blockage starting to move. He pushed even harder, smiling at the feeling he was experiencing. A few pushes later, something slid out of his ass and plopped onto Smarty Pants with a wet thud.

Spike sighed in comfort, took a few breaths, and looked back at Smarty Pants again, smiling at what he saw: a huge, brown log of dragon poo, with emerald remains lodged in it, resting across Smarty Pants' stomach. Spike had pooped on his precious doll, and he smiled wider as he felt another one crowning in his anus. He pushed again, giving another relaxed sigh as a few soft farts and another large poop slid out of him and landed onto Smarty Pants. A pungent smell came from behind him and attacked his nose, but it wasn't terrible to him. He loved the smell of his farts and fecal matter just like he loved the smell of his dirty feet.

Spike pushed just a little bit harder, pooing out one final log onto Smarty Pants. The doll was now pinned underneath three large poops, in addition to being covered in his vomit and urine. Unfortunately for Spike, as he pushed again, all he was able to produce was a short, dry fart. He tried to poo again, but nothing came out.

"Aww man..." he said, "...nothing's left...?" He sighed in disappointment and looked back at Smarty Pants. "Oh well... at least I pooed three of them..." Spike stood up again, ignoring the mushy feeling around his unwiped hole. He was too busy cursing himself for overdoing it with the vomit, as he blamed his empty bowels on that.

Spike sat down next to Smarty Pants. She was dripping with Spike's excrement and puke, but Spike couldn't care less. Instead of caring, he picked her up with both his hands and used them to smear his wastes all over Smarty Pants, completely covering her in them. He smiled wide as he mixed the gross contents and rubbed them into Smarty Pants He didn't have a care in the world, as he knew his favorite doll was now his. Even if Twilight were to walk into the room at that point, he believed that he would remain unmoved. However, once he finished rubbing his wastes into Smarty Pants, there was something missing.

"Hmm... there's gotta be something else I can do..." Spike mumbled.

It was at this moment that Spike felt something else down below. He looked down at his crotch, seeing his dragonhood was fully erect. It confused him why he didn't feel himself become hard, nor did he know when it did. The last time he had touched his cock was when it was flaccid while he peed. But, Spike soon figured it didn't matter when or how he became erect, because now, he had a new substance to mark Smarty Pants with.

Spike laid Smarty Pants back on the ground in the slimy puddle again, her filthy stomach facing up. After that, he laid himself on top of her, his erect member resting on Smarty Pants' stomach. Smiling with kinky excitement, he began to hump Smarty Pants.

Spike's mouth hung open as he thrust himself into Smarty Pants. The warm mixture of puke, piss, and shit was like a warm lube, and it made it easier for his erect member to slide across his friend. Spike had never humped a stuffed animal before, but he had humped his pillows several times, and that's all he saw it as.

"Oh Smarty Pants..." he moaned, "I knew you were soft... but I didn't know you were that soft..." Spike humped her a little faster. "...no wonder Twilight loved you so much..." Spike clenched his teeth as he felt himself reaching his limit.

"Oh... oh... OH...!" Spike whimpered and moaned, "I... I'm close, Smarty Pants! J-just... a little bit longer!" Spike humped Smarty Pants as hard and fast as he could. "I'm... gonna!"

With a very loud moan, Spike climaxed, cumming all over Smarty Pants. His erect member squirted his semen all over the doll, coating her like glaze on a donut. After he finished shooting his seed all over his friend, he fell over onto his back, panting heavily.

"W-wow..." he mumbled weakly, "I've never... came like that before..." He sat up after a few minutes of recovering. "...I guess Smarty Pants really does belong with me~." He giggled, then looked at his hands. They were both covered in urine, feces, vomit, and cum, and the combined smells were terrible.

"Eww..." he mumbled at the sight of the mess of his hands, regardless of the smell, "Better get myself cleaned up before I get back in bed... I'm not doing any laundry tomorrow..." Spike sat on Smarty Pants for a quick second, farting loudly on her. He giggled at the loud, wet noise and walked into the bathroom  After washing the mess off of his hands, the cum off of his crotch, and wiping the poop off of his backside, he walked back into the room, seeing Smarty Pants begin to wake up.

"Uhh... huh...?" she mumbled low, "Wh-what...?"

"Hey, Smarty Pants," Spike asked. Smarty Pants sat up and looked at her friend.

"Spikey?" she asked, "Why am I laying on the floor...?" She then felt and smelled the slimy mess coated all over her. "...and why am I all slimy and wet and stinky...?" Spike gulped and thought of a quick lie.

"Oh, well... you had a little accident in bed while you slept... and it woke me up," Spike said with a smile. Smarty Pants blushed in embarrassment.

"Oh my... I thought I didn't make accidents in bed anymore..." she said low.

"Hey, it's OK, Smarty Pants," Spike said, hugging his messy friend, "You only had one accident, and I already washed the sheets. This'll be our little secret, OK?" Smarty Pants smiled and hugged him back.

"OK, Spikey..." she said, kissing his cheek, "Thank you..."

"It's fine. Now, let's go back to bed," Spike said, "I'll give you a nice, hot bath in the morning, OK?" Smarty Pants nodded with a smile as Spike laid in bed with her, cuddling her close. Smarty Pants smelled extremely terrible, and she was leaking Spike-waste onto the bed, but Spike couldn't care less.

"Goodnight Spikey..." Smarty Pants said low.

"Goodnight Smarty Pants..." Spike said back, "Sweet dreams..." Spike fell asleep peacefully, knowing that Twilight would never want Smarty Pants back. Twilight's Smarty Pants doll, was now his Smarty Pants doll.