When Chaos and Psychopathy Collide

I stepped into the pizza restaurant with my backpack on tight. The Indian guy at the front wasn't there at the moment so I went to a table near the front and sat down to wait. I pulled out my phone and went on Twitter to see more of Wendy's stupid tweets. I replied to one of them to piss her off, just a simple 'LOL' or 'ROFL' in all caps will make her mad at this point, she's not focused because she's really nervous and scared about her secrets getting leaked out to the public. I know these things.

After some scrolling through Twitter, I heard some jingling and the sound of steps coming from the front. I didn't look up and away from my phone because I thought it wouldn't relate to me. I thought wrong.

The person tapped me on my shoulder so I looked away from my phone to see Annie Nelson. "Um, hey," I said.

"Hi." She said without hate or kindness.

"What do you want?" I spat. I really wanted to just get my pizza and get out of here.

"Well... I just wanted to come and say thanks for saving me and my mom in the grocery store. I don't know if we would have gotten hurt but it was really scary and anything could have happened, so thanks." She smiled at me.

"Uh, yeah sure, you're welcome." I turned back to my phone. "Now leave me alone please."

Annie tilted a bit, trying to look at me in the eyes. "Why aren't you at school anyways?"

"It's gym class and I have important stuff to do at home," I told her.

"Oh, right. You're not really the fitness type of guy."

"No, I just didn't want to show off my hot body." She gave me a deadpan stare. "Anyways, I should ask you the same question."

"I was at a doctor's appointment and we went shopping after I was done." She told me.

"I see."

She stood there silently until... "So... what are you doing after you get your pizza?" She was asking too many god damn questions now. I just wanted her gone.

"Can you just fuck off already?!" I snapped at her, turning my head to give her a glare. It was more of a demand than a question.

She flinched and rolled her eyes into a glare right after. "Okay, fine! I don't know how you even have friends if you can't have a single friendly conversation!"

I watched her storm out and leave in anger. Not caring enough, I turned back to my phone and waited for my pizza.

I entered my house with the medium pizza box in my arms.

My mom wasn't home. That was good, the three could eat in my room.

I went to the kitchen and placed the pizza box on the counter, then taking off my gloves and tossing them on the counter. I then went to the bathroom and washed my hands, pouring out four glasses of pop afterwards.

I went upstairs with my backpack on and two glasses full of pop in my hands. I put the two glasses on my computer desk and placed my bag on the floor. I quickly went down and upstairs bringing the other two glasses and the box of pizza right after.

Before I brought the three out to eat, I thought about it for a second and decided to get a paper towel roll and wrap my slices with meat on it to hide it. They probably won't want to eat if they saw it, and I was sure as hell not going to let them waste my money. I hid my slices wrapped with paper towel in my nightstand - it shouldn't get found in there - and walked over to my bag and slowly opened it.

As expected, they didn't pop out.

I spoke softly. "Hey, you guys want to come out? We're in my room. No one will see you." No response. "Please? I have the pizza and you don't want to waste the food and my money do you?" I waited a bit, and eventually, they came out one by one. The Orange Dumbass had a slightly angry face, Dildo Belle had a frightened one, and the Hillbilly looked like she was in deep thought. I didn't question it.

We all sat in the middle of the room in silence. I put down the pizza box and opened it, revealing six slices, three-quarters of the pizza.

I noticed that they noticed that a quarter was missing because they looked at me questionably. I didn't give any answer or explanation so they just took their slices with their hooves. Well... Dildo Belle and Orange Dumbass did. The HIllbilly sat there looking disapointed.

That's when I remembered that the Hillbilly wanted apples on hers. I still think it's fucking weird as hell.

I remember putting two in my pocket at the grocery store before I dealt with the robbers. I took them out and was about to get up when the Hillybilly noticed them in my hand and quickly stood up happily too try and grab one from me with her mouth.

I quickly drew the apple away and said, "I have to wash it, dumbass."

"Huh?" The Orange Dumbass perked up.

"Not you," I said before I stood up. "I'll go wash and cut these. Just wait here quietly and for god's sake don't look out the window." I walked out of the room and went downstairs. I entered the kitchen and got a stool to stand on. I washed two apples and dried them off with a paper towel. I then went over and opened a drawer to pull out a knife to cut them to smaller slices. I went over to the kitchen table and started to cut the two apples.

Apple Bloom's POV

I thought long and hard about it, and I think I finally came to an understanding of Eric's choice of food. I was disgusted at first, thinking about some of our pigs on our farm back home in Equestria, or even at Fluttershy's place with all of her animals. I didn't seem right to me.

But was it really wrong?

We were taught at school about the food chain and how some animals had to eat meat in order to survive. The whole class hated that lesson, half of which vomited several times on the floor when there were pictures shown. I thought how maybe Eric had to eat meat to live. It's not like he entertains himself from killing and eating animals, right? He eats it to stay alive and healthy, like how Granny tells me to eat my fruits and vegetables to stay healthy.

Me, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo sat in the middle of Eric's room silently. They told me that they would wait for Eric to finish cutting the apples so he could put it on my slices and we could all eat together. Sweetie looked disturbed, Scootaloo looked a bit angry, and I just sat there in thought. I really didn't want them to stay like that every time they looked or thought of Eric, so I had to tell them my opinion on this.

"Hey, y'all...?" I began to ask them.

"Ah, shit!" We all heard Eric shout from downstairs. It didn't sound like anger like he usually did when he said those funny words. Instead, it sounded like he was in pain.

We all looked at each other with worried faces.

"Should we... go see what's wrong?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Eric told us to stay up here so no one could see us," Scootaloo explained.

I slowly walked up to his bedroom door and peeked into the hallway. "Well, there isn't anyone else in his house, right? So we should be safe as long as we can't be seen through a window."

"Then let's hurry!" Scootaloo said.

We carefully and quietly entered and walked through the hall. We went down the stairs and I started to hear Eric hissing and grunting. The three of us peeked around the corner into the kitchen to find...

I can't believe I couldn't fucking cut the apple properly. God, sometimes I could be such a dumbass, but don't tell the Jew I said that.

My right pointing finger was bleeding. A lot.

I squeezed where I cut myself, trying to keep the blood inside. I didn't know if it was working or not, I'm not a fucking doctor.

Thankfully, none of my blood went on any of the apples. It was close though, and it would be weird if I had the Hillbilly drink my blood. It kinda goes against the whole vegetarian thing.

"Holy, moly! Eric, are you alright?" The Hillbilly exclaimed as she ran up to me with worry.

I was in too much pain to yell at them from exiting my room. "Do I look alright you little shit?! Ah!" I winced and held my finger tightly.

"We need to get ya patched up. Where's your first aid kit?"

"My mom keeps it in the bathroom." I answered her.

The Hillbilly turned to her two friends with a frown who were still peeking out from behind the entrance to the kitchen. "Y'all go and get the first aid kit. I'll watch over Eric."

"I'm fine!" I told her. "It just hurts."

"If we leave the cut open you'll bleed more and it could get infected."

"...If I get sick I could miss Schewl."

"Just get the first aid kit you two." She yelled at them in annoyance when she noticed them still standing at the entrance to the kitchen.

Five minutes later and we were at the kitchen table with the Hillbilly bandaging my finger carefully. I winced when she used her teeth to tie a little knot. She smiled in delight when she was finished and said, "There we go. All fixed! Applejack sure knows how to teach."

"Uh... thanks." I said, slightly thankful for all her trouble.

"Um, what exactly happened." She asked me.

"I was trying to cut your apples and I cut myself," I answered her in frustration towards myself.

"I thought so..." She scratched her head. "You should be more careful."

I glared at her. "Thanks." I said sarcastically.

She cringed at my expression and backed off a bit.

"Anyways," I began to speak. "Your apples are still clean and cut. Here." I showed her the plastic bag filled with apple slices. "There's plenty, you can put them on your pizza and eat now."

She took the bag with her teeth with a wide smile on her face. "Thank you so much, Eric!" She said through her clenched teeth on the plastic bag. She then came closer towards me and nuzzled my chest in appreciation. If it wasn't for my injuries, I would have shoved her off... maybe. But even I had to admit, it was a little cute.

"You're welcome. Now get away from me and go eat your slice upstairs."

She winked at me and started to walk over to her friends but stopped mid-way. "Will you be joining us?" She said, again through her clenched teeth.

I stared at her with confusion. "Why?"

"Well, you did buy us this pizza. It would be rude to eat it without you."

"I... have other stuff to do..."

"Please? I want to have a talk with you and the other two."

Before I could say no again, she turned her whole body to me and gave me some god damn puppy eyes. That shit doesn't work on m-

"Pleeeease?"

I was stunned for a couple of seconds before I yelled out. "Okay, fine!"

"Yes!" She along with her two friends, who looked nervously at me for a second before following her, went back upstairs to eat. I followed after washing up and cleaning where I was cutting the apples.

I went upstairs and over to my bedroom door and opened it, stepping inside my room. I found the three standing in front of my desk and staring at my computer.

"Eric, what's this?" Dildo Belle asked me when they noticed I entered the room.

"That's my computer. Don't you have those where you're from?"

They shook their heads and went over to where the pizza box was. They opened it and the slices were still warm surprisingly.

"So, Hillbilly?"

"Yeah?" She didn't look up from putting her apple slices on her pizza slices.

"You wanted to talk about something?" I asked.

"Yeah, I... I just wanted you to know that I understand that you have to eat meat."

"Huh?" I was confused. This came out of nowhere.

"Well, I was thinking about back home and how some animals needed to eat meat to survive. You need meat to survive, right?"

"Well... I guess, yeah."

She gave me a smile. "Then I understand Eric. And I hope Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo will understand that you'll die if you don't do what you have to do." She looked over to her friends who were looking shocked.

"You're right Hillbilly," I smirked at her. "Sometimes you have to do what you gotta do to survive." I licked my lips.

She visibly gulped when she noticed the look on my face. "Uh... Eric?" The Hillbilly backed off a bit in nervousness.

"How does a triple pony burger sound to you all?" Before they started to scream I dropped the act and smiled. "Just kidding." While I burst out in laughter they blew sighs of relief. "I have a pet cat. I would never eat Mr. Kitty even if it killed me." I chuckled at the end.

"I... I'm sorry for giving you the cold shoulder Eric." Dildo Belle said. "Could you ever forgive us?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry too. I wouldn't want you to purposely starve yourself just because of our opinion." The Orange Dumbass said.

"Yeah, yeah, just don't do the puppy eye shit the Hillbilly was pulling off." I turned away, crossed my arms and rolled my eyes.

The two relaxed a bit as if they were about to actually try to pull over two sets of puppy eyes on me.

"By the way," I turned back to them without uncrossing my arms. "Hillbilly, what the fuck was that shit you pulled at Whole Foods?"

"What?"

"When you came out of my backpack and kicked the door open. Not only am I surprised that you did it so fast that none of them saw you but how in the hell did you kick a door open nearly four times your size?"

"Oh. Why because I'm an Earth Pony of course."

"An Earth Pony?"

"Yeah," The orange dumbass started. "Pegasi have wings." She fluttered hers.

"Unicorns have magical horns." Dildo Belle sparked her own horn.

"And us Earth Ponies have more natural strength. And it helps that I buck apple trees for most of the day so the apples fall."

Maybe the Hillbilly wasn't useless after all. Super strength is pretty nice to have. "I see..." I noticed my glass of pop still on my desk and was about to go over and take a sip, but before I knew it I was getting hugged by three little ponies.

I was about to lash at them and throw them off of me, but then I saw their happy smiles and thought of their apology and guilt. I smiled. There was this warm feeling in my chest I never felt before as they hugged me. It was like when my mom lovingly hugs me when I really need it, but a bit different. They all looked so adorable nuzzling my chest with-

...Ah fuck, was I really loving this affection right now?