I walked down a sidewalk with my backpack held tightly behind me.

It was actually better off skipping gym class because the shaking in my backpack was unusual at the moment. Someone would have noticed for sure if I stayed. I held back the thought of opening and yelling inside my backpack in anger because we were in public. I would have to talk to them when we got to my house later in the afternoon.

I approached the pizza restaurant and entered, making the front jingle its bells. I went up to the counter and the cashier wasn't there. If they were in the back they would have heard the bells or they were in the washroom. In that case, I hoped that they would hurry the fuck up.

While I waited, I took my right arm out of my backpack's right strap and brought the bag in front of me with its front facing me. I unzipped the bag with my right hand and the three popped out. I immediately panicked and used my right hand again to shove them back into the bag. "You can't come out now dumbasses! We're still in public!" I yelled at them inside the bag.

"It's not our fault! We didn't know." The Orange Dumbass said. I swore I could hear the pout coming from her.

"What the fuck do you think would have happened if I was still in class and I reached in my bag to grab a pencil or something?!"

"Alright, sorry! What do you want anyways?"

"I want to know what toppings you want on the pizza!"

"Ooooh..." Dildo Belle was probably drooling in there. "How about some pineapples!"

"Can I have so-"

"No apples to ruin the pizza, Bloom!" Orange Dumbass interrupted.

"..."

Dildo Belle snickered while I almost died out of laughter. "Who the hell puts apples on their pizza?"

Orange Dumbass continued. "Some mushrooms would be nice unless it's from the Everfree."

"We don't have any magical forests here, Dumbass."

"Oh, alright then. Apple Bloom, what do you want?"

"...some apples."

"What was that?" I asked.

"I want some darn tootin' apples!"

"Okay, shut up!" I yelled at her. "While they're making the pizza I'll get some stupid apples for you."

"Yes!" I could feel the eye rolls coming from the other two, I myself did the same.

"I guess I'll just get pepperoni then." I thought out loud.

"What's pepperoni?" Dildo Belle asked me innocently.

I just remembered that horses... or should I say girly ponies were vegetarians. "Uh, it's meat."

"M-meat?!" Hillbilly said in shock. "You're putting meat on your pizza?!"

"Yeah, I do it all the time." I stared at their horrified faces in my backpack, this was a good way to intimidate them. "Why, don't ponies eat pigs?" I said jokingly.

None of them said anything and only the Hillbilly shook her head while still in shock. I watched as Dildo Belle whimpered and tried to block her eyes from looking at me. The Orange Dumbass noticed this and glared at me. I didn't have time to say anything else as she used her teeth to take the zipper and close the bag from inside, blocking my view from them.

What the fuck was that about? Were they really disgusted about eating meat? I mean, fried chicken is one of my favourites! They didn't have to be such pussies and act all sensitive about it.

I quickly strapped my backpack on when I heard someone coming, it was the Indian cashier.

"How may I help you today, sir?"

"Hi, I would like a medium pizza, one quarter with pineapple, another with mushrooms, the third quarter with pepperoni and the last quarter plain cheese."

I swear I had to explain the order like ten times before he got it down right.

After the minority pushed some buttons into the register he replied. "Is that all, sir?"

"Do you have your chocolate chip cookies and how much will that add up to?" I asked.

"It's seven dollars with the medium alone and if you add the cookies it will be..." He punched more buttons before continuing. "Nine dollars."

"Two more bucks just for cookies?!" I exclaimed.

"Yes sir, and if you combine tax it's around ten-thirty."

I stared at him with a frown while I started to think. If I bought the pizza along with the cookies then I wouldn't have enough to get some apples for the Hillbilly. Then again, she didn't deserve it for snatching my cookies back at schewl... But I did just scar her and her friends' minds and I do feel a bit bad. Why am I considering buying something for someone else? I don't know. No one deserves shit from me, and she's already getting a quarter of a medium pizza from me even after taking my cookies, so I shouldn't care.

I sighed to myself, not believing in the decision I was about to make. I don't know why I made this decision, but I did. "I'll just take the medium then, thanks."

It was all just for the magic, right?

He asked for the amount it cost and I handed it to him, he gave me back my change and now I had $3.50. "How long will it take?" I asked.

"Twenty minutes sir."

"Alright, I'll be at the grocery store across the street and buy some stuff before coming back here."

"Alright, I'll see you later then."

"Yeah, yeah, fuck off," I said back as I exited the restaurant with a frown and my hands in my pockets. I stopped at the sidewalk in front of the restaurant, waiting for a car to pass before I crossed to get to Whole Foods. As I crossed and entered the store, I thought to myself. The three were oddly not rampaging within my bag or moving at all for some reason. I would have to bring them out and tell them to get over me eating meat or something, I can't have them commit suicide when I need their powers... except for the Hillbilly, she can die all she wants.

I had found the fruit area and started to look for apples for the useless Hillbilly. I looked around for any signs of apples, finding them after a minute. I read the price and saw that I could take two and still have a bit of change left, so I took two and started to make my way towards the front. However, when I got to the front I couldn't get to the front to pay for these things.

I really wasn't expecting to find three men wearing ski masks robbing this place.

I quickly but quietly hid in one of the big aisles before they saw me. I peeked around the corner to stare at them and I saw one pointing a pistol at a gathered crowd, shouting at them and telling them to stay back or he would stupidly shoot. One of his buddies, who was taking cash out of the register with the last one, came by his side and shouted at the crowd to get to the back and stay quiet.

With all of the shoppers, except me, I guess, at the back of the store, these assholes were free to do whatever they wanted. And right now they were wasting my time!

I decided to wait here and make moves cautiously. They had guns. I didn't.

I sat there in the aisle quietly for about fifteen minutes. All I heard during that time was the sounds of their theft. But finally, I heard some sirens from outside, about a dozen of them. I heard some chatter from the thieves, followed by the police yelling through a megaphone.

"We've got hostages!" One of them yelled. "Back away or they're dead."

I sighed and whispered to myself. "Not on my watch, asshole. I still have to pay for these apples." I sneakily made my way over to the back of the store, the area I last saw them take the other people. If I took the hostages away from them, then the police would have no trouble getting in and taking these fags out. I needed to hurry because our- my pizza that I bought would be done soon and I don't want it to get cold.

The back of the store held the bakery shop with a door to the left of it. I walked quickly over to the door - of course, I took some frozen apple pie for later and stuffed it in my bag, the hillbilly might chill out then - and tried to open it. Of course, it was locked. I put my ear to the door and heard some overdramtic cries from the average woman, about two kids crying, and a man that sounded like a little bitch crying in a higher pitch than the average woman.

I tried to open the door again foolishly but it was still locked. "God, damn it! Open you stupid door!" I thought about trying to use Dildo's magic to open the door, but it wasn't really the right thing, I thought. Sure, it lifted stuff pretty cool, but it wasn't really anything powerful to force open a door. I was about to walk away and ditch these people before something happened, fast. I saw a yellow blur, the Hillbilly, come out of my backpack and kick, fucking kick, the door open, quickly getting back into my bag before the people could see her. All they saw was a hint of movement in my bag when the door got kicked open. They all looked at me with confusion.

I was confused and shocked as well. How did someone her size kick the door open? Let alone be fast enough to do it without being seen.

I quickly composed myself when I noticed the people that were locked inside were all staring at me. "Uh- come on people, hurry the fuck up! Run! Run!" I signaled with my arm to get the fuck out of there.

They quickly picked up their kids and things and ran out of the room while I held the door open. "But stay quiet they're still at the front." I then saw something that surprised me a bit. Annie Nelson and her mom was with the people who got trapped. She looked at me wearily when she passed and I ignored it.

"So you're putting us in danger?!" A man glared at me when we all sat low in one of the aisles.

"I'm saving your life you assholes so shut up and listen to what I say!"

The man scoffed. "Are we really going to trust a little fat kid."

I almost got up and strangled him to death, almost. "Sir! I am big boned, and I just fucking got you out of a hostage situation!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"The police arrived but don't know that you're free. They won't engage on these fuckers until they know for sure."

"So then we have to let them know."

"Congrats, you figured out my master plan, smartass." I sarcastically said as I clapped.

"Yes, but how are we going to get past them? We'll be seen at the exits."

I peeked around the aisle and looked at the thieves. "I'm going to distract them, and while I do get the hell out!" I didn't give him or any of them time to reply as I hurriedly took myself there.

"Wait! Are you crazy?" Now the man was worried? God, I hate human emotions.

I ignored that stupid asshole and kept heading towards the thieves. They noticed me when I was not too far from them, and I could tell they weren't happy. I would have to go through this very carefully if I wanted to live. "Sup dudes," I said to them as I walked up and leaned on the front conveyor belt.

"Who the hell are you?" One of them spat at me.

"Oh, no one important," I looked at the back of my hand. "I just came to tell you that someone was talking a lot of shit in the back and they were annoying the hell out of me so I came to tell you so you could shut them up for me."

"...What?"

"It's true. He said something about you being pussies bringing guns instead of fists? I don't know, but it will stop both of our problems if you could show them who's boss."

They all stared at each other for a second, before glaring at me. "Where is this fucker?" One of the other guys said.

I pointed to their right, "The pussy is hiding in the fruit area." I furrowed my brows at them. "Tell them Kahl Marsh sent you."

"We'll show him who's the pussy." The guy cracked his knuckles and they started to make their way towards 'him'. I sneaked a glance behind me to see everyone, including Annie, who was smiling at me, run out of one of the fire exits. I glared at her, basically telling her that I didn't do this for her, before turning back and following the robbers. Those assholes aren't getting out of my sight.

I caught up with them and smirked.

"Where is this pussy?" One of them asked me when he noticed me there.

"Oh, he's coming. Mostly likely with his squad." I told him.

They all looked at each other in confusion. Eventually, one of them asked, "What do you mean?" Then they noticed my smirk and got pissed. "You mother fucker!" They were about to reach forward and try to grab me when someone, a cop I presumed, threw a smoke grenade. I breifly panicked when one of them ran up to me and grabbed me, putting a gun to my head.

"Back off or the kid dies!" He yelled.

"Hey! Put me down asshole!"

The smoke cleared after 10 seconds, and I saw that the police had the other two guys pinned on the floor.

"Now just stay... right there... while I walk out with this money..." The guy who held the gun said crazily.

"How much did you even take? A hundred bucks?"

"Shut up before I shoot your brains out! ...I got a hundred and ten out of the share."

The guy walked with me while eying the police. I had to admit I was a bit scared, these crazy guys were never predictable. We both walked out one of the fire exits and out to the streets, soon he picked me up and started to sprint to one of the grassy parks nearby.

"Alright, you got away, now let me go." I said a little too sternly at a guy with a gun.

He put me down and glared. "I should kill you right now because you screwed this up!" He yelled, before taking a glance at my bag and smiling. "What's in the bag kid?"

I stuttered. "OH! Uh, nothing. Just my schewl stuff."

"You're not at school dumbass. Now give me the bag!"

I didn't know why he wanted my backpack so much, but he had a gun so I had no choice but to give it to him. I raised my hands to show him I didn't want a fight.

Then something really bad happened.

I don't know why the fuck they decided to go wild in there, but the bag started to shake in his grip.

"What the fuck? Do you have a pet in here?"

"Uh, yeah. So could you please give my backpack back to me?" I asked nicely.

He laughed, the fucker just fucking laughed at me. "After you just screwed me? I think I'll have a little fun and just ruin your life right here." He then aimed the gun at the bag.

I shouldn't have cared. Sure, I would lose their magic, possibly never have opportunities to take stuff like Wendy's diary again, but I would live. But now, for some reason, when the thought of them getting killed - let alone hurt - came into my mind my heart raced like that one time Kahl almost died at the Pentagon. I was about to let him go through with it, when I thought about them, the way they looked at me when I told them about eating meat, the way they were so confused and innocent with all the other stuff they saw.

I glared and ran up to punch the guy in the balls, my last resort of defense. He dropped my backpack, which I caught midair, and fell to his knees. I ran up and quickly took the gun, aiming it at him. I was about to shoot, maybe more than twice, when the thought of the three in my bag came to my mind again. I sighed, were they really making me change the way I think...

I heard shouts coming from behind me, and soon the police caught up.

They noticed the gun in my hand and the way that guy was holding his crotch. "Hey, nice work kid!' One of them said.

As they started to restrain that asshole, one of the cops knelt down to me and said, "We had the cameras checked. You did good young man, and you will be rewarded."

I turned to him and said. "The only reward I need is to get my pizza and eat it with my friends." I handed him the gun and started to walk back towards the pizza shop. Technically I stole these apples, but I did stop their store from getting fucking robbed.

I sighed because this wasn't me at all. But then I smiled. It felt nice to care for someone other than your mother.

Author's Note

Please bare with me, I do not believe my writing comedy is the best out there.