“Rarity, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner, but the letter came in this morning.”

“This morning? Why would the Princess spring this on you so suddenly?”

The train car rumbled along with its cargo of six heroines, a hero and a reformed- reforming villainess. There was also a clown, two magic kung fu fighters, four magic kung fu dancers, a blissfully ignorant diamond dog, a lost princess from a distant land, a chupacabra, a prench dragon and his little sister, the reincarnation of an ancient Coatlian god-thing, an immortal bandit and her gang of superpowered thugs and an evil witch spread around that car. However, they’re not important right now. In fact, at least one of these things will never be important at all.

Closest to the window, Applejack napped across from Pinkie Pie, her hat pulled over her face while the later rocked side to side, humming the Smile song to herself. Spike sat next to Applejack and across from him Fluttershy. Across the aisle, Starlight sat in front of Rainbow Dash and Twilight in front of Rarity.

Speaking of those too, “I don’t have any idea, actually,” Twilight said, frowning at Rarity. “I find it rather abrupt too.”

“That’s strange.” Starlight looked to Twilight, lifting a weighing hoof as if offering up the disparity as evidence.

“Really now!” Rarity whined.

Twilight rolled her eyes back in thought. “Well, not that strange, and I guess I have some idea. Sometimes, Princess Celestia would pounce something on me out of the blue on purpose. As a test.” She looked back down at the floor. “I just thought that since I got these wings, and other assorted organs, that I was done with that sort of thing.”

Twilight’s eye darted over the cabin floor. She thought about tests and assignments cloaked as anything else from Princess Celestia. She was no stranger to manipulation by deception herself, she did that when she threw on that purple mask nearly a year ago, or when she participated in Pinkie’s plot with the filly scout cookies. Come to think of it, both stand-out examples seemed to involve that rainbow pegasus.

Rainbow Dash was well-meaning, fierce and driven, on top of being loyal to the point of rage if that which she cared for was threatened. However, she could be bone-headed and short-sighted, such that simply telling her something could be like trying to wear a boulder away with a stream. Tricking her into seeing the lesson in front of her, an effort the pegasus apparently seemed to appreciate, was sometimes the most promising method in another pony’s repertoire.

So what Twilight wondered, to Princess Celestia’s millennia old eyes, was everypony Rainbow Dash? That may explain quite a bit, but Twilight was still uncomfortable with the first time she used that method on her friend. Did Princess Celestia ever feel those kinds of regrets when she used manipulation, or did she feel justified that all other avenues had been tried, clearly would not work, carried too much risk or simply didn’t have the time?

Twilight’s musing was interrupted when everypony, no, Rainbow Dash, spoke up. “So I’ve been thinking.”

Six beings turned to pay attention to that. Rarity and Starlight hadn’t carried the conversation when Twilight going off into her own head, the conversation between Fluttershy and Spike had petered out and Pinkie had mostly been listening in on everyone else.

Rainbow let that one draw out into a pause, her eyes darting about in every direction. As the rest of them looked expectantly at her, she was looking the same at them. Finally, Rarity had to lean to the side with a furrowed brow.

“Yes, dear?”

“Huh, I was kinda expecting one of you to say, ‘Don’t strain yourself, Rainbow,’ or ‘That’s a first’ or take some kinda shot at ol’ RD or something.”

Pinkie Pie leaned forward in her seat, holding up a hoof. “That’s kinda reaching for the low hanging fruit there, Dashie.”

Applejack shifted in her sleep. “Mm, apples.”

“Yeah, like that!”

Applejack snorted and shifted in her chair. Forelegs stretched out, and she yawned, peeling her eyes open one at a time. “Mmm, he-ello, everypony. What’re we talking about?”

Rarity gestured. “Rainbow Dash was just telling us she had a thought.”

“Oh.” Applejack smirked. “Don’t strain yourself, Rainbow.”

Rainbow Dash threw her hooves in the air. “Finally! That’s what I said!”

Applejack blinked a bit faster, scowling and finding she wasn’t quite awake enough for this.

“Yes, before we give Applejack a headache, how about you tell us what’s on your mind, Rainbow Dash?” Rarity said.

Rainbow shrugged, leaning against her seat. “Alright, Twilight got me thinking about the stuff we talked about back at that bar too.”

There was a sound of a squeak and yellow wings shuffled over a body. Applejack scowled, looking past one pegasus to glare at another. “We ain’t bringing that up again.”

Rarity narrowed her eyes dangerously. “Yes, may I remind you that, this time, we are well aware of Spike’s presence.”

“Yeah, Spike doesn’t need to hear about this,” Twilight said. She looked to one side with a grimace. “More than he already has.”

“And I don’t want to, either.” Spike crossed his arms, matching Twilight’s expression.

Rainbow pressed her hooves and her face together. “Ugh. No, I’m not gonna talk about butts!”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Twilight said, clapping her hooves together.

“You’re the one who brought it up,” Rainbow told her, making the alicorn grimace some more. “But, yeah, I’ll try to keep it, uh… teen rated? Actually, Spike, are you a teenager? How old are you supposed to be? I mean, I know how many years you are but is that a teenager?”

“I’m a baby,” He said, uncrossing his arms to wave that off. “For a dragon. But also I’m thirteen years old. It’s not the same for dragons.”

“Oh, okay.” Rainbow Dash keeps staring at him for a moment before she shakes her head. “Anywho, since last time we talked about what everypony likes, I realized that we never got to you, Twilight.”

Also, they never got to Fluttershy, but that wasn’t up for discussion.

“I remember that conversation too.” Rarity flipped her hair, grimacing as well now. In fact, grimaces for everypony, except Starlight, who just look confused. “The core of discussion might not be inappropriate, if still embarrassing, but the language was. Be sure to tone it down, Rainbow Dash.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure. So how about it, Twilight? Like, what about that one guy, what’s his name? Bling Sentry, that’s it.”

Twilight and Rarity, the both of them, stared at each other with widened eyes. Applejack, her eyes narrow and her grimacing got grimmer. “Oh, that Flash Sentry, feller. Yeah, I remember him. Too fresh by half, that Flash, I tell ya.”

“Whad’ya mean ‘fresh’?” Rainbow said, shrugging in confusion. “That guy was a bumbling doofus, it was great!”

“It was really sweet. I mean, it looked sweet,” Fluttershy managed to say between bouts of ‘ums’.

“I dunno. The guy didn’t seem very real to me.” Seeing the questioning looks she got, Pinkie elaborated. “He wore masks.”

To most everypony else, that explained very little, but somepony seemed to get it. “Personally, I liked the effort he put into wearing them,” Rarity said.

Pinkie looked at her dubiously, frowning at first before a soft smile spread on her face. Rarity caught the look and frowned in response, reading that look. Oh, Rarity, my sweet summer child, she said. You know a thing or two about ponies who wear masks, but you don’t know anything about wearing them yourself.

Rarity glowered for a moment, and then raised her brows in a look of anxiety. Pinkie, who are you?

Silly! Pinkie gave her a big wide grin. I’m me!

Rarity went right on back to glowering. Also, don’t call me a ‘your child’, I’m older than you!

And all the remaining ponies, and one dragon, were allowed to be left in the dust of this rapid fire face-off of an emotional exchange. Rainbow Dash’s expression pretty much summed it up, one that said-

“What the Tart?” Or okay, she could just say it with her mouth. Like, whatever, that’s cool too.

Rainbow shook her head. “Whatever.” Yeah, whatever. “Twilight, what’s up with you and Dynamic Entry?”

“Landed Gentry!” Pinkie piped up.

“Raided Pantry!” Spike offered.

“Waffle Thief!” Pinkie countered. “No, wait…”

Spike crossed his arms. “Also, I didn’t like the guy either, because he kept mistaking me for a dog. Like, how?”

“Well, I have no clue who you all are talking about,” Starlight said. “I’m not even sure about his name. Twilight, you wanna fill me in on it?”

Twilight peeled her ears back. “I’d rather not.”

Applejack sneered. “I knew it. That deceitful little playboy got too fresh with you when we weren’t looking, didn’t he? I swear, I’ll find that colt-”

“No, no, Applejack.”

Rainbow Dash jumped out of her seat, hovering. “Woah, woah! I thought that guy was cool, but if he did anything to you, Twi’, I will snap him in half.”

“Oh my gosh, no.”

“I’ll go to jail for you, Twi’, because Applejack isn’t gonna be any good at helping me hide the body.”

Applejack nodded. “She’s right, I’d be lousy at it.”

Starlight did a double take then as something else occurred to her. She looked at Spike incredulously and Spike stared right on back with his own questioning look.

Twilight pressed her hooves to her temple, groaning all the while. “No, girls, no. Nothing like that happened. We talked, he was nice, I was really flattered and Rarity had to tell me he was flirting with me. And after that- Rarity, please?”

“Would you like me to take over, Twilight?” A nod. “Very well. After their brief non-affair at the castle, where the guard stallion put his best hoof forward for Twilight, perhaps too forward, there was a bit of a fiasco. I suppose nothing had exploded that day, so it was a slow day in the news room. When the media got a hold of it, they decided to turn a minor piece of gossip into something of a scandal.”

Pinkie scowled at that. “Hold on, I never heard about this.”

Twilight shook her head. “You girls already brush off the reporters.” And harshly too. Applejack has no nonsense to deal with, a brother built like a small hill who had it up to here with gossip mongers already and up until a while ago a sister willing to give some kinda Anti-Paparazzi cutie mark a chance with extreme prejudice. Rarity has a tongue like quicksilver and actually made a reporter cry and Fluttershy has a bear and this bunny and debate rages among the press workers on which is scarier.

Now Rainbow Dash’s approach to being harrassed by reporters harrying her for juicy gossip on Equestria’s brand new princess was to drag the conversation on to a far more important topic, herself. That was, of course, after being talked down from out-and-out assault once she caught the gist of some of the rather more personal facts they were trying to dig up on Twilight.

Pinkie Pie gave reporters her undivided attention, and soon they learned not to draw it.

“When this happened, nopony noticed the uptick in paparazzi ponies hanging around town and I just did my best to avoid them too.” She teleported like mad.

Rarity nodded at this. “So Flash Sentry becomes the only viable center for this controversy. The media descended upon the poor guardstallion, calling into question his character and publically calcifying him!”

“Wowie, that’s harsh!” Applejack leaned forward. “I mean, what’d they call him, besides a princess flirting cad?”

“Something terrible! Horrible!”

Fluttershy perked up. “Oh my! Did they fabricate some sort of story about him forcing himself on Twilight?”

“If only they’d given him enough credit!” Rarity howled, foreleg to her face. “They called him boring!”

There was a long silence stretching outwards from this proclamation. Twilight looked embarrassed and Fluttershy was trying not to show any expression. Starlight’s gaze seem to drift up towards the roof as she mouthed something and Spike watched her, trying to figure out what. Applejack crawled down from her seat onto the floor, crawling back under her chair and just wrapped her face in her hat with a declaration that sounded like, “You’re real lucky you’re pretty sometimes.”

Rainbow Dash had an expression on her face that simply read as such, What? No really, what?

Pinkie Pie looked at every other pony and realized that Rarity just wasn’t getting the reaction she needed. Putting on an expression of shock and horror, she squished her cheeks and exclaimed, “Oh no! That’s the worst possible thing!”

“I know!” Rarity held her front hooves out, begging for a proper rebuttal. “I suppose they weren’t able to unearth any dirt on him so they spun a lack of fatal flaws as a lack of interesting ones.”

Pinkie crossed her forelegs. “I still say he wore too many masks.”

“Be as it may-” Rarity began before another pony jammed her hoof into the air and stabbed her raspy voice into the conversation.

“Hold up,” Rainbow Dash said. “Rarity, Pinkie, you both seem to know what the hay you’re talking about with masks but the rest of us don’t. You’re like two mysterious bad guys talking about ‘the artifact’ but never getting into detail about what it is and you just stretch it out for chapter until you find out exactly what ‘the artifact’ is but at the time you just wish that a third dude was there and they’d be like, ‘Yo, guys, what’s this artifact?’ Well, now I’m that third guy. What’re you talking about?”

“Pinkie is referring to Flash Sentry’s, I find, rather admirable ability to mold his behavior in accordance to the situation at hoof.”

Pinkie rolled her eyes, one part exasperation, one part thought, raising up one hoof. “One minute he’s ‘oo, I’m a big gruff soldier professional’ and then he’s ‘aaah, I’m a bad colt rebel’ and then ‘I’m a gentlecolt, m’lady’.” She tipped her hat forward, something that everyone stopped to look at.

“Wha-” Applejack stuck her head out from under her seat, climbing back up. “Where’d you get that fedora, Pinkie?”

Rarity gave her a half-lidded look. “Trilby, dear.”

“Huh, okay.” Rainbow Dash made that grimacing face that seemed to be going around like a persistent bug. She leaned back against her seat. “I guess I get it, kind of? Whatever, it sounds like social ballroom stuff anyway.”

Applejack leaned forward. “Okay, so what, was that the worst thing they did to him, call him a mite dull?”

Starlight dragged her eyes back to the conversation. “I guess he just didn’t have much of a personality to grip onto, huh?”

Pinkie shifted in her seat. “Oh, everypony has a personality! He just didn’t let anypony see his!”

“‘Cept maybe that he was the type to keep making up new ones.” Applejack nodded. “I knew there was a reason I didn’t like him. Still, didn’t sound like much bad anything happened to him.”

Rarity looked across the aisle. “Oh, if only the media were the end of it.”

Very briefly, something approaching a sneer pulled Twilight’s lips back. “After that, my fans got to him.”

And after that, a great big silence got to them all. It swallowed them whole like a manticore that just found a bunch of dumbstruck ponies in its path. Than one of them regained her wits and sliced her way out with a razor sharp exclamation.

Rainbow Dash burst free of the corpse-pause just as she burst into the air. “I have so many questions!”

Twilight sighed. “It really is horrible what they did tuh-”

“No, not that, egg head! You have fans!?”

Applejack crawled free out of the silence, following with exasperation at her flurrious savior. “What are you on about? You got fans too.”

Rainbow gave her a look before pointing it at Twilight. “Twi’, how old are you fans?”

“Um, I never exactly did a demographic check but from what I’ve seen they can range all sorts-”

“All mine are preteens. Does that answer your question, Applejack?”

“Hey, bein’ an inspiration and hero to the young’ns ain’t nothin’ to sneeze at, Rainbow Dash.”

“Hey, no, don’t get me wrong, I love my fans, all those little guys are the best, especially Scoots. It’s all the not-preteens who’re not my fans, that’s the problem.”

“Uh-huh.”

Starlight turned from that conversation back to her teacher. “So, these fans of yours, what did they do?”

Rarity glanced at Twilight and saw that her friend was having a less than fanciful time thinking about that answer. A glance her way reminded Rarity of the favor Twilight was asking and she took over. “Ponies that self-styled themselves as the protectors of Twilight’s virtue began a campaign of harassment against Flash Sentry. Where the media would not, they disparaged his character, sent him angry and threatening letters and sometimes personally delivered messages. There were attacks, assaults, and a protest at the castle. A large number of them preferred Twilight Sparkle be with one of us-”

Twilight Sparkle squeezed her eyes shut, turning a magnificent shade of rose, Fluttershy followed up with orange. Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Starlight had narrowing eyes that contrasted quite well with their gaping mouths, the very latter also managing a nice shade of pumpkin. Pinkie was turning a darker shade of pink, but far more from holding in the laughter already snorting its way through her nose. Spike, whom already knew all this, just savored the sensation of any creature with digits to be able to properly cradle his face in his claws.

“-or proffered themselves.”

And the dam around Pinkie’s mouth shook as snorts spurted out of her nose. Rainbow Dash simply looked livid, as her eyes narrowed further and her teeth set into a grit. Applejack followed right behind her. Starlight looked rather more dubious, actually, so did Fluttershy. Spike was where he was before and his guardian was looking to see if she couldn’t imitate him.

“Those- those- they thought-” Rainbow Dash wasn’t in her seat anymore, but rather above, her front legs spread out and clawed like she were ready to drop down on somepony. “-Twilight! Our Twilight!?”

Applejack eyed Rainbow for that one before looking straight forward. “Yeah, I might notta liked the Flash feller, but I’m likin’ some of these fan of yours even less for more of the same reasons.” Her eyes flickered in thought. “It sounds like they didn’t do you any favors and then they wanna get close to you instead. What a bunch of horse apples.”

Starlight looked askance at them both. “Wow, you guys are real bent out of shape over that, huh? I just think it’s really silly.” Reminded of her previous train of thought, she snapped back a glance to Spike who returned the look again.

Pinkie snorted, followed by a giggle. “I know, right? I’m sorry, Twilight, I know it made you really sad how they were so mean to Flash Sentry, but all that stuff about them and you and us is super ridiculous.”

Twilight huffed but her mouth curled with a small smile. “You’re right, Pinkie, it is super ridiculous.” She frowned and looked over to Rarity, giving her an upward nod.

“Yes, well, the harassment became too much for the poor colt and he had to be transferred to the Crystal Empire. That worked out for a little while but then some of Twilight’s more dedicated-”

“Try crazy.”

“-intense followers tracked him down up there. The end result is that Flash Sentry was- I don’t remember, what happened to him, Twilight?”

“He was reassigned again. He’s a bodyguard to, uh, some kind of ambassador overseas.”

“Right, thereby fleeing the country entirely.”

Applejack winced. “Eugh.”

Rainbow Dash hit her seat with a pomf. “Harsh.”

Pinkie Pie raised a hoof. “Let’s talk about something more fun!”

Applejack glanced in her direction, raising an eyebrow. “Like what?”

“Like what sorta ponies Twilight is interested in!”

“Ugh!” Rainbow sighed, smacking her face. “That- Pinkie, that’s exactly- dangit, Pinkie!”

“No, we started talking about that, but then we got sidetracked.”

Rainbow Dash rubbed her head before turning to look at Twilight, as did everypony else. Except Starlight and Spike, the former looking off into space and the latter still just looking at her.

Twilight scowled and turned a little more rose, looking towards the ground. “Well, I guess you could say my fans are right.”

Pinkie raised a hoof. “Do you mean-”

“The ones that wanted me to be with one of you girls.”

“Ah.”

Twilight looked up, her eyes passing over the mares she’d been with for the past few years. “You girls are my best friends and I love all of you. I don’t know anything about, well, lust, but I might have a crush on all of you as well. Rainbow, Pinkie, Applejack, Rarity, each of you has a confidence and self-assurance I wish I had. And Fluttershy, you’re like an angel in every way, beautiful inside and out.”

Pinkie Pie nudged Fluttershy next to her. “Hey, baby, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

Although a little bit orange, Fluttershy gave her a completely straight faced answer, even while facing the floor. “No, the butterflies caught me.”

“Aw, Twilight!” Rarity pushed on her pink cheeks. “No, I’ll call you what I always called you in my head, Twinkle!”

“You call me what in your head?”

“Twinkle Sprinkles, I have pet names for all of you,” Rarity said dismissively. Rainbow Dash and Applejack’s eyes widen in horror. Pinkie Pie grinned extra wide. Rarity just carried on, reaching across her seat. “That is the sweetest thing and I’m sure everypony agrees, even Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash?”

“I think she’s still processing.”

Rainbow flinched and turned on Rarity. “Okay, Rar’, you better not call me anything mush-”

“Champ,” Rarity cut in.

Rainbow paused, closed her mouth and looked thoughtful, in that order over about three moments. Finally, she nodded. “Okay, I can deal with that.”

Applejack raised her hoof and Rarity nodded to her. “Sugarcube, of course.”

“Guess I deserve that one.”

Pinkie Pie waved her hoof with frantic enthusiasm.

“Honeybun. I would have gone with something with ‘Sugar’ but Applejack beat you to it and I call Miss Pommel ‘my sweet’.”

Pinkie covered her mouth, giggling. “Hehehe, Honeybun! Okay, Marshmallow.”

“I guess I deserve that. Of course, I refer to Spike as Spikey-Wikey and Fluttershy as ‘dearest’.” She looked to her direct side. “Starlight, I haven’t quite known you long enough to- Starlight?”

Spike nodded toward the spacey unicorn. “I dunno, she been going in and out like that for a little bit.”

Starlight finally snapped out of it and zero’d in on Spike, blurting out the question she’d been holding on to. “He really thought you were a dog?”

Spike threw his claws to the side. “I know, right!?”

Author's Note

All concepts introduced in this chapter are pretty unoriginal and are the property of everyone who reads it. Feel free to use, reference, twist, subvert and more of anything here that catches your fancy.