Finding Artemis

Have I mentioned how much I despise mornings? They’re far too bright and cheerful, invading the privacy of my slumber like some happy go lucky busybody that insists I be just as bright and cheerful as they are. Well fuck mornings. Fuck them with a serrated dildo; right up the ass. With no lube. Yeah, that’d be great if I could bend the embodiment of mornings over a table and just vent my frustration and hatred of them to my heart’s content, but no. No, the closest thing there is to such a being is Celestia and she’s not about to sit there and let me abuse her like that. So I settle for the best glare I can muster, one likely bloodshot eye cracking open to stare daggers at the light seeping through the partially open curtains even as it shines on my face.

“Hate you,” I slur, mind still blanketed by the fog of not enough sleep and having just woken up. “Hate you so much.” I force myself to move, knowing that I won’t be getting back to sleep thanks to this rather rude awakening, shoving off the sheets and stumbling my way out of bed. The bathroom is my first stop, the zombie that I see in the mirror groaning weakly as I step up to the sink. I feel absolutely terrible and I look worse, but after my morning rituals are finished I at least no longer feel dead. Just half dead. Well, I suppose I’ve been worse off, so it’s time to see about some breakfast and perhaps a dozen mugs of coffee. I spot my new crown on the way out, sitting on my dresser, and contemplate whether I should put it on or not.

“Hell with it,” I mutter, levitating it to rest on my head, using my standing mirror to make sure it sits correctly and won’t just fall off. “Might as well get used to wearing the stupid thing.” I stare at myself, frowning as I turn slightly to better see my new headpiece. I look like an imposter, but I suppose that’s just my perspective coloring the issue.

“You don’t deserve to wear that crown, you murdering pig!”

I flinch as the spiteful mare’s voice rings through my mind, causing me to scowl. Well, she wasn’t wrong. I don’t know if anyone deserves to be given this sort of power, but I got it, whether I like it or not. I shake my head and step out of my quarters, reminding myself to keep my head high as I walk out into the halls. Last thing I need is a lecture about putting on a brave face, or whatever it is Celestia does every single day. A mask. I’ll need to practice if I don’t want any awkward questions. At least I won’t have to worry about court, so that’s something. The dining hall isn’t very busy, as I think I’m up later than most ponies tend to have breakfast. Suits me just fine. I hate all the bowing and scraping that I get whenever I come here during the lunch rush. I get my coffee, my cereal, and I ignore those few others that are here with me as I sit down to eat.

“I was wondering if we would ever meet face to face,” a voice I don’t recognize says, drawing me from my focus on my liquid caffeine, a frown on my face as I look up from it. I don’t recognize the unicorn stallion, though he’s obviously some sort of nobility from how he holds himself and how he’s dressed. Only nobles seem to wear clothes around here and even I can see the quality of his threads. He gives the barest of bows, one hoof held to his chest. “Greetings, Prince Artemis. I do not know if you’ve heard of me, but I am Prince Blueblood, a descendant of Princess Platinum.”

“Am I supposed to be impressed?” I ask, the stallion raising one delicately plucked brow in response to my tone. “Yeah, I’ve heard about you from Cadance.” I take a moment to sip from my mug. “Look, no offense or anything, but I’m really not up to socializing right now. I had a rough night and I’m only on my first cup of coffee, so…” I trail off, hoping he’ll catch the hint.

“I see,” he says, glancing at my mug briefly. “I had heard you were… abrasive, but the word does not seem to do you justice.” Gotta say, for royalty that isn’t an alicorn, he doesn’t ruffle easily. “I just wished to formally introduce myself, as you are technically my uncle due to your relationship to Aunt Celestia.” Yay, another fake relative. Just what I needed. “But, if you truly wish, I shall leave you be.” He gives me a nod. “Good day, uncle.” He then turns to leave and I can’t help but feel like an ass, causing me to sigh wearily.

“Wait,” I call out reluctantly, causing Blueblood to pause, the younger stallion half turning to face me now that I have his attention. “Look… I’m sorry. Like I said, last night kind of sucked, but I shouldn’t be snapping at you just because I’m in a bad mood.”

“It is quite alright, uncle,” Blueblood assures me, even smiling slightly. “I imagine everypony has had their share of bad days, so I have no problem letting this instance pass.”

“Great,” I say, glad that he won’t hold a grudge, though I’m also mildly annoyed by the use of the word “uncle”. Still, apologizing helps sooth my guilty conscience, so I let it slide. “So, what brings you here? I mean, it’s a little late for breakfast.” He looks at my half finished bowl pointedly. “Well, late for your average pony anyway.”

“Indeed,” he remarks, sounding amused. “As for why I am here… well, to be honest, I was trying to find my hoof servant, Brass Button. I sent him down for tea half an hour ago and yet no one has seen him.”

“That’s kind of strange,” I say while idly stirring my spoon in the remaining milk. “I take it he’s usually a good servant?”

“Oh, most definitely,” Blueblood replies while taking the seat across from me. “He has been with my family since before I was born. For him to just vanish like this is quite out of character.” He frowns and I see him chewing on the inside of his left cheek. “I do not wish to cause a stir, but I am beginning to wonder if I should speak to the guards about it.”

“Maybe some sort of family emergency came up?” I suggest before finishing my coffee. “Or maybe a health problem?”

“It is a possibility,” Blueblood admits, his frown deepening. “Brass is getting on in years and, well, his only family that I know of live in Manehattan.” His ears perk up and his eyes widen slightly, the stallion rising from his seat. “There he is!” He exclaims, my head turning to look even as Blueblood moves around the table. “Brass, old boy, whatever took you so long?”

“Young master,” a voice, quavering slightly with age, responds regretfully. I spot Blueblood approaching an old stallion, shoulders slightly stooped and mane thinning out, though he seems to hold himself with dignity. “I am terribly sorry, sire. The kitchens managed to run out of your favorite white leaf, so I was forced to nip into town in order to find some.” I stand and begin making my way over as Blueblood shakes his head.

“You did not have to go to such trouble, my friend,” Blueblood says, smiling fondly. They don’t seem to notice me approaching yet, which suits me just fine. “I would have settled for a good chamomile or an earl grey, if they have it.”

“Oh, pish posh,” Brass scoffs. “My dear young master, you should not have to settle. As the heir of your father’s estate, you deserve the best service I can provide, and that means getting you your favorite morning brew, even if I have to go buy it myself.”

“You really are far too good to me, Brass,” Blueblood chuckles. “Still, I was rather worried. Do try not to make me fret over you in the future, if you please.”

“Again, my humble pardons, sire,” Brass genuflects. “I shall endeavor not to—oh, goodness!” He finally spots me, and I’m almost on top of them by this point. His reaction, while amusing, is rather odd. He seems… scared of me, like I’ll bite his head off or something. “Oh… oh, forgive me, Prince Artemis. I… I did not see you there.”

“Honestly, uncle, we were just discussing his health, and here you are ready to give the poor stallion a heart attack,” I hear Blueblood chastise me, but my focus is on Brass Button. This wasn’t just me startling him. He’s frightened of me, though he’s doing his best to hide it. Why? Does he know what really happened on my first day in Canterlot? Did Blueblood tell him, then? So many questions and I’m not sure if I should even ask them.

Trust no one.

Damn it, Celestia. You’ve got me wondering if some scared old man is really a spy or assassin or… or I don’t even know what! I force myself to relax and forget about it, turning my attention away from Brass and back to Blueblood.

“Sorry about that,” I say, putting on my best “whoops” face. “I just wanted to meet the stallion you spoke so highly of. I didn’t mean to frighten anyone.”

“It is quite alright, Your Highness,” Brass assures me, seeming calmer than before. “I really should pay better attention to my surroundings.” He smiles, though he’s obviously forcing it. “Will you be joining the young master for tea, then?”

“No, that’s alright,” I say, smiling back politely. “Well, it was nice meeting you both, but I have an appointment to keep.” I nod to them both, stepping between them with one last look to Brass Button. “Good day to you.” I barely pay any attention to their replies, intent not on my appointment, but getting out of the palace. I need air, crisp and clear, and I won’t get it stewing over nothing in here.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

“Well, he seemed an interesting sort,” Brass Buttons comments once Artemis has departed, Blueblood frowning at his new uncle’s back just as the alicorn leaves the dining hall. “So then, sire, shall I have your tea brought up to your chambers or will you be having it here in the dining hall?”

“I think I will return to my chambers,” Blueblood decides, ignoring his uncle’s odd behavior after meeting Brass Button for the time being. “There are some things Cadenza wishes me to review, so I think a spot of tea would be lovely while I work.”

“Of course,” Brass Button says with a respectful bow, Blueblood turning to leave, therefor missing how his servant’s eyes flicker to the doors Artemis left through nervously. “That was… him.”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

It’s not long before I’m in the air, the wind rustling over my coat and feathers as I soar. There’s nothing quite like flying freely, unburdened by petty concerns like gravity or physics. I mean, how am I even in the air with these wings? I don’t know much about how flying works, but I do know that I shouldn’t be able to do much more than glide with these things. I suppose that magic is, yet again, the answer. But what am I doing? I wanted to get away from things, not bring them up here with me. Time to go higher, to stretch the limits of the possible. With a grin I fly towards the heavens themselves, wondering if I could reach escape velocity if I really pushed it. Hell, who knows? I could likely fly to the moon and back if I really wanted to.

“God, I’m so full of it,” I say with a grin, breaking through the clouds and into the brilliantly bright skies beyond. I take a moment in that crisp, cold layer, gazing out over the world as I hover there. Everything is so much more simple up here. If I could, I’d build a castle in the clouds and just live here, away from any worries or baseless suspicions. But reality isn’t nearly so kind. Even if I did make my home here, there would always be something to bring me back down to earth. I’m doing it again. “Alright, no more thinking!” I fold my wings in against my sides and drop like a rock, cutting through the clouds with another well timed burst of telekinetic power. I angle myself so my nose is pointing downwards, the wind whistling in my ears as I continue to plummet, eventually reaching terminal velocity.

Now this, this is more like it! Speed, pure and simple, my heart thumping out a beat that makes my blood run hot as I grin in excitement. Time to up the ante. I spread my wings and begin to flap, laughing as I rocket downwards faster and faster, only to pull up above the city and wheel around the mountain on which it’s perched. I laugh, the sound wild and free, even as I circle higher, reaching the mountain’s peak in a matter of seconds, only to go into another dive, my laughter ringing through the rocky outcroppings that I have to bank to avoid. I spot a ledge and decide to risk landing, my eyes narrowing as my grin tightens. Well, if I fuck up, at least it won’t kill me. I suddenly spread my wings out wide, angling them so they catch the air, a wrenching, painful feeling ripping through my shoulders and back at the sudden decrease in velocity… but I’ve done it. The landing is a little on the rough side, but I touch down successfully.

“Ha HA!” I find myself doing a little jig, still feeling giddy from the rush of adrenaline and pure speed. This was exactly what I needed. “And just look at that view!” I smile as I gaze out over Canterlot and the lands beyond, the wind catching my mane as I spot the distant speck of Ponyville and the expanse of the Everfree. “Heh, not a bad little spot.” Maybe I should come up here more often. It’d be a good place to just be by myself, to think, to relax and just be free from all the things that I worry about, if even for a little while. And there it is again, reality deciding to take a shit all over my escapism. “That’s just the way things are, I suppose.” I can’t help but sigh, my elation seeping away as I frown down at the palace and city below me. “So, the question is: now what?”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Shining Armor had bid Twilight goodbye at the station, the young mare needing to check on Spike, while he had to go speak with the mayor about finding somewhere he can train the girls in private. Mayor Mare, while surprised by his presence, was more than happy to be of assistance. She brought out a map of the area surrounding Ponyville and there was plenty of Crown land in which he could set up. He’d then asked who supplies the area with construction materials and he was directed to the local branch of a place called “Dusty’s Depot”. He’d been given a small allowance from Princess Celestia that he could use in his efforts to train up Twilight and her friends, otherwise he’d be paying for everything out of his own pocket.

Lumber, cement mix, a mixer, and various tools that will be needed throughout the construction process are purchased. With these he’d be able to create the training grounds they’d need. The only problem is the fact he can’t do it all in a reasonable amount of time by himself. With the goods secured, he returns to the mayor’s office and makes inquiries about any local ponies that might be interested in being hired on for a construction project. Fortunately, it seems Ponyville has its own construction company; “Granite and Sons”, but they don’t work for cheap. Well, at least he’s not the one hoofing the bill. He speaks to their boss, the two of them drawing up plans for the training field and, with bits changing hooves, the crew of construction ponies leave for the site while he makes for the Golden Oaks library.

Now, Shining Armor is both looking forward to meeting Twilight’s friends and also dreading it. On the one hoof, he gets to meet the friends that helped Twilight come out of her social shell and also saved Equestria as a result. On the other, he has to subject them to pseudo-military training, something they’re quite likely to not appreciate. Granted, he’s not about to push them into true guard training, as neither he nor Princess Celestia wants them to be soldiers, but resentment is sure to be fostered regardless of his intent. Well, no point in continuing to worry about it. What will happen, will happen. With that in mind, Shining Armor walks up to the front door and raises his hoof to knock… only for the door to slowly creak open before he can even touch it.

“O… kay,” he murmurs as it swings fully open, the interior of the library blanketed by darkness, as if even the windows had been blocked so not a single bit of sunlight could find its way inside. Definitely not ominous at all. “Twily?” He calls as he steps past the threshold, frowning as he tries to peer into the shadows. “Spike? Are you there?” The door slams behind him, the captain actually flinching as a result. “Okay, okay, you got me.” He prepares to light his horn, chuckling at what he figures is a practical joke. “Very funny, Twi—”

“Surprise!” A chorus of voices he doesn’t recognize suddenly cheer, the lights coming on all at once, leaving him blinking at the crowded library and the banner hanging from the ceiling reading: Welcome to Ponyville! Okay, not what he’d been expecting. Still, a surprise party, for him? How had Twilight had the time to set this up?

“Were you surprised?” A cheerful, peppy voice asks, a bright pink pony with equally as bright blue eyes popping up from seemingly nowhere. “You look surprised, so were ya? Huh, huh, were ya?”

“Yes, yes I was surprised,” Shining Armor replies, causing the mare to giggle and prance in place. “I didn’t think I was gone long enough for Twily to have this set up.”

“Oh, well, that’s because you weren’t,” the pink pony, who, now that he’s gotten a better look at her, he identifies as Pinkie Pie, tells him, which only serves to confuse the good captain. “Twilight didn’t have anything to do with this, because I was setting this up before either of you got here!”

“Really?” Shining Armor isn’t sure he believes her, moving further into the room as ponies chat and have a good time. Snacks, decorations, drinks and balloons… how had Twilight done it? He isn’t aware of any spells that allow somepony to set up a party on such short notice but, then again, his speciality lies in defensive magic. So, he supposes it’s possible for Twilight to know something like this. “Then how did you know I was coming back with her?”

“I have my ways,” Pinkie replies mysteriously, looking quite pleased with herself. “But, hey, it’s your party, so get out there and mingle, mister guard captain!” He then finds himself being pushed towards the snack table, where most of the ponies are gathered. He also finds himself wondering how Pinkie knows he is a guard captain, until he reasons that Twilight must have told her. Finally she leaves him near the tables, the captain nodding and smiling to ponies as they greet him or raise a glass of what he assumes is punch to him.

“Shining!” Now there’s a voice he recognizes, Shining Armor smiling as he turns to greet the small drake in question as he makes his way through the gathering of ponies to greet him. “Been awhile.”

“Hey Spike,” Shining Armor greets him in return, raising one hoof to bump the offered fist. “Keeping Twily outta trouble?”

“You know it,” Spike replies with a grin. “What kind of assistant would I be if I didn’t?”

“That’s the spirit, little buddy,” Shining says, gaze lifting and searching the room briefly. “Where is that sister of mine anyway?”

“Ah, she’s here somewhere,” Spike replies, turning and looking over the guests for her, though his view is rather limited due to his height. “I kinda lost track of her when the lights were shut off, to be honest.”

“How’d she get this set up so fast?” Shining decides to ask, since Spike would be the most likely one to know.

“Twilight?” Spike turns his head, looking up at the captain over one shoulder curiously. “Um, well, she didn’t.”

“What?” Shining Armor blinks, one ear flicking as Spike’s words sink in. “What do you mean? She had to have—”

“No, that’d be Pinkie,” Spike actually interrupts him, pointing to the bouncing mare in question as she makes her rounds through the party. “She showed up before Twilight did and had me go find Rainbow Dash so we could pass out invitations while she set things up.”

“...really?” Shining stares at the pink pony, who pauses, in mid air, and turns with a smile, waving at him before going back to her bouncing. “That’s kind of… strange.” Is she somehow hiding a horn under all that poof of a mane or what?

“Eh, just Pinkie being Pinkie,” Spike dismisses it easily, which worries him more than if the young drake shared his feelings of disturbance. So this sort of thing from the pink earth pony is normal? “So, not that it isn’t great to see you, but what brings you to Ponyville?”

“Mission from Princess Celestia,” Shining replies, getting himself a cup of the punch. “Very hush-hush.”

“Yeah, sure it is,” Spike mutters, looking disappointed, Shining unable to help the chuckle that escapes him as the drake pouts. “Come on, Shining, you can tell me. I promise I won’t tell!”

“Well, okay,” Shining says, smirking as the drake’s eyes light up with excitement. “You see, I’m here… to train Twily and her friends so they can be safer during their adventures.”

“That’s it?” Spike asks, excitement fading rapidly. “I mean, safer is good and all, but I was expecting something more than that!” Shining laughs, the drake giving him the stink eye in response. “Oh, very funny, mister ‘I’m on a super important mission’.”

“Hey, keeping my LSBFF and her new friends safe is important,” Shining points out, taking a moment to try his newly procured cup of punch. Tasty. “And if that keeps my favorite dragon safe, too, then so much the better.”

“Hmph… well, I guess I can let it slide, just this once,” Spike says, tone holding mock reluctance as he smiles once more. “I’m gonna see if I can find Twilight. Hopefully she’s mingling instead of, you know, reading in a corner or something.”

“I wouldn’t hold my breath,” Shining jokes, getting a chuckle out of Spike as the drake waddles away. “Okay, Shining Armor. It’s your party, so I guess you should probably be mingling.”

“Probably,” a mare’s voice agrees. “That and you’re kind of being creepy just standing here talking to yourself.” Strangely enough, the voice is coming from above him, Shining looking up to see a pegasus hovering there that can only be Rainbow Dash. He doesn’t know of anypony else that matches such a unique description as hers, after all. “So you’re the brother we’ve never heard about. Bit strange that Twi’s never mentioned you, but hey, not any of my business.” She circles around and touches down in front of him, holding out a hoof. “Name’s Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in Equestria and future Wonderbolt. No flash photography, please.” The mare grins proudly. “It cramps my style.” Oh, boy, check the ego on this one.

“Shining Armor,” he introduces himself, bumping his hoof against hers. “As you somehow already know, I’m Twily’s older brother.”

“Yeah, I heard Pinkie say something about that while she was passing off the invitations to me,” Rainbow comments, moving over to grab herself a snack. “Of course, I didn’t quite believe her at first, but I guess I shoulda known better than to doubt Pinkie’s intuition.” Her words are garbled by a mouthful of cupcake, but Shining is able to get the gist of it. “Never woulda figured Twi would have such a hot older brother, though. No offense.”

“None taken?” Shining shakes his head in wonder at the mare’s straightforwardness. “I’m flattered, by the way, but I already have a special somepony.”

“So?” Rainbow swallows her bite, raising a brow at the declaration. “Doesn’t mean I can’t look.” He feels mildly uncomfortable as her gaze rakes over him shamelessly. “And there’s plenty to look at.” She takes a second bite, chews, and swallows, chuckling at his obvious discomfort. “Relax. I’m no poacher.” She finishes off her snack, bumping his shoulder playfully with hers as she passes him on her way into the crowd of chatting ponies. “Just don’t be surprised if I’m not the last to show interest. We don’t get many new ponies in town, after all, let alone new stallions.”

“Great,” Shining mutters before taking another sip of his punch. “Why does Ponyville have to have a higher mare to stallion ratio than Canterlot?” He wonders aloud, noting that, as a matter of fact, a good portion of the ponies in the room are mares. “Okay, Shining. Time to mingle.”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

I find myself shifting restlessly on a park bench, wearing my disguise as I wait, hoping that Nymphadora will visit the park today. After our weekend excursion, we didn’t really make any specific plans to meet up again, so I’m not sure if she’ll even show up at the park today. So, why am I here? To be honest, I’m not really sure. I just know that going back to the palace doesn’t sound appealing and, well, going anywhere else seems pointless. So, here I am, pony watching, wondering what it is about the activity that Nymphadora finds so appealing. Other ponies seem to fascinate the mare, which I find a little odd. But, hey, who am I to judge? I still haven’t come up with any hobbies to pursue during my own down time, after all. Well, there’s always flying, but does that really count as a hobby? I have no idea.

Still, it’s interesting to watch others as they enjoy the park, some with foals, others clearly spending time with their… special someponies. Bleh, yet another cutesy sounding piece of terminology. I’ve heard marefriend and coltfriend, but not as often as special somepony. Why? No idea, but it’s a popular term regardless of my ignorance. There’s still so much about this world that I don’t understand and my lessons still haven’t moved past the pre-Celestial era, when Celestia began her rule alone. I have learned how they initially took their thrones, though. Basically, and I’m sure details have been lost to time, the ponies of their day saw their combined traits as a way to solidify the still fledgeling unity of the three pony tribes, so, with the backing of the ruling council of the time, they took the role of princesses. Why princesses and not queens? Again, no idea. Maybe I’ll ask sometime, after I break Tia’s nose for dumping the court on me like that.

“Wham, pow!” I throw a punch, imagining my hoof sinking into the tender flesh of Celestia’s snout. “Right in the kissa!”

“Easy there, Dusk,” a familiar, sultry voice teases, my ears perking up as my head turns to find the source. Nymphadora’s standing off to my right, smirking as heat rushes to my cheeks and she stops next to my bench. “Ponies will think you’re crazy if you keep acting like that.”

“Oh, shut up,” I grumble, earning a giggle as I turn my head away with a huff. “It’s not like I care what other ponies think.”

“Then why are you embarrassed?” Nymphadora asks cheekily, causing me to twitch as irritation jolts through me. “So, where have you been, Dusky? It’s been awhile.”

“Well…” I trail off, trying to come up with a convincing lie. Then, failing that, I decide to twist the truth instead. “I had to deal with some legal stuff. It ate up my time, so, sorry about that.”

“Ohhh, because of the whole parolee thing?” She asks and I give a noncommittal grunt in response, hoping she doesn’t pry further. “Well, that sucks. At least you’ve got some free time now, right?”

“Yeah, though honestly I’m not sure what to do with it,” I remark tiredly, the little surge of adrenaline left over from my flight wearing off. “I didn’t get much sleep last night and now I’m just… bleh.” I hear Nymphadora make a thoughtful sound, glancing her way to see the mare looking at me as if considering something. Why does every mare in my life have that same expression? What is she planning? Should I be worried? Wait, slow down, she’s not Celestia. Maybe hear her out before you start jumping to conclusions. “Something wrong?”

“I was just thinking about how I had been planning to ask you to join me for lunch again, but if you’re that tired then maybe you should go home and get some more sleep,” Nymphadora replies, expression shifting to one of concern. Wow, someone that seems genuinely concerned about my wellbeing. Color me shocked. Then again, would she feel the same if she knew who I really am? I give my head a shake, dismissing the notion. No point in worrying over hypotheticals. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just shaking out the cobwebs,” I say with a weary grin, though she doesn’t seem amused by my attempt at levity. “I can take a nap later, Nymph. Where do you want to eat? I’ll make a quick run home for some bits and meet you there.”

“Are you sure?” Nymphadora asks, to which I nod. “Okay then, I won’t argue with you. You’re a grown stallion after all, so it’s your decision.” She smiles. “How about we try one of those ‘three horseshoe’ places on Restaurant Row? I hear they’re all the rage.” Three horseshoe? What? “We can check out the various places to eat and meet in the middle to decide where to go, if you like.”

“Yeah, sure,” I say, still not sure what a place being “three horseshoe” even means. “I’ll be ten, maybe fifteen minutes tops.”

“It’s a date,” Nymphadora says with a grin, making me roll my eyes, only for my whole body to lock up when I feel something warm and soft press against my cheek, my vision filled with her beaming face before she departs with a giggle. “See ya in ten~” Did she… what just… does not compute. Artemis.exe has experienced a critical system error and must shut down. Manual restart required.

“Bwuh?” Well said, me. Well said.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cadance sighs softly as she goes over various reports from the different provinces of Equestria, Raven Inkwell, Celestia’s secretary/advisor, on standby in case she needs any clarification on matters that cross her proverbial desk. Proverbial because, at the moment, she is seated on the throne her aunt would usually occupy for Day Court, which had just let out. Not that ponies with matters of importance couldn’t still approach her, of course, but the official window for the masses to air their grievances had closed maybe twenty minutes ago. Or was it thirty? Unlike Celestia, she doesn’t intrinsically know the time of day off the top of her head, and the fact there is no clock in the throne room doesn’t help either.

“Your Highness?” Cadance looks up from her reading, something about a manticore wandering out of the Everfree’s southern borders, to see a guard closing the throne room doors behind himself. “I am sorry to trouble you, Princess Cadance, but we found some strange stallion wandering the halls of the palace in a daze. We were wondering if you had any specific instructions on how we should deal with him, considering he was intruding into areas not open to the public.”

“Where did you find this intruder?” Cadance asks, frankly both concerned and relieved to hear about this. Concerned because of the breach in security and relieved because she, like many others, finds bureaucracy dreadfully dull. “Is he alright?”

“He seems unharmed,” the guard begins, ears folding back in a show of embarrassment. “We found in the hall leading to the Royal Suites, stumbling about and muttering to himself, but we’re still not sure how he managed to avoid detection until that point.”

“That is concerning,” Cadance remarks, passing the reports off to Raven before stepping off the throne. “Where is the intruder now?”

“Being held for questioning,” the guard replies, frowning severely. “But so far we haven’t gotten anything out of him. He just… sits there, staring into space.” Cadance didn’t like the sound of that, moving down from the dais and standing before the guard.

“Take me to him,” Cadance requests. “I want to see this intruder for myself.”

“As you command, Your Highness.”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

When Cadance arrives at the holding area, she’s directed to a room on the other side of a mirror, having to stop herself from staring in shock once she sees who it is they have inside the interrogation room. Sitting there, expression dazed and eyes vacant, is Artemis, or at least his disguised self. Dear Faust, what happened to him? He looks like he’s in shock! She glances at the guard, who’s looking at the disguised prince with a mix of frustration and consternation.

“I wish to speak to the intruder privately,” she says, drawing a confused look from said guard. “I may be able to get him to open up. Not that I doubt the abilities of the guard when it comes to questioning suspects, but perhaps a… softer touch is needed in this case.”

“If you say so, Your Highness,” the guard replies, levitating over a key to her. “I’ll be out in the hall if you need me.” He then salutes and departs the observation room, taking up a post across the hall as she follows him out, stepping into the interrogation room once it’s unlocked. She then creates a ward around the room, a means of ensuring privacy, so nopony will overhear or be able to observe them, not even from the other side of the one-way mirror.

“Artemis?” She calls to him softly once the room is secure, moving to his side and laying a hoof on his shoulder. “Can you hear me?”

“Yeah, I hear you,” Artemis replies, his dazed look vanishing almost instantly as he turns his head to face her. “Christ, this is a mess, isn’t it?”

“You… you’re okay?” She can’t believe this. “Damn it, Artemis, what were you thinking? If this is some poorly thought out attempt at a joke, it’s not funny!” And to think that she’d been worried about him!

“Hey, I have a better sense of humor than that,” Artemis replies, looking rather annoyed about what she just said. “I just… forgot to turn off my disguise before teleporting back into the palace.”

“Oh, Faust, Artemis,” Cadance groans, stepping away and taking the only other seat in the small room across the table from him. “That’s not something you can just forget!” She frowns at him, something occurring to her. “And why were you even disguised in the first place?”

“I wasn’t exactly in the best state of mind when I got back,” Artemis grouses, ears folding back as he tries to mask his embarrassment with anger. “Plus, how is it any of your business? I’m, like, a thousand years older than you and, last I checked, I don’t have to tell you about everything I do anymore.”

“Age doesn’t necessarily denote maturity,” Cadance points out, Artemis only proving her point by sticking his tongue out at her. “And you’re right, what you do during your free time isn’t any of my business unless, you know, you happen to break the law.”

“I didn’t break any laws, Candy,” Artemis bites out, forelegs crossing over his chest irritably. “I live here, remember?”

“Then why didn’t you just drop the disguise when the guards found you?” Cadance asks, making the older stallion shift in his seat uncomfortably. “What happened to get you so out of sorts that you managed to get arrested for trespassing in your own home?” Artemis doesn’t immediately reply, trying to burn a hole through the table with his gaze. “Well?” He mumbles something, too quiet for even her own heightened senses to pick up. “What was that?”

“That silly mare kissed me,” he growls out through clenched teeth, cheeks blazing with color as her eyes widen. “Yeah, that’s right, my brain was fried by a kiss on the cheek, so go ahead and get the laughs out of your system already!”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

I can’t believe this! How could I have been so fucking stupid?! Nymphadora kisses my cheek and I act like some idiotic child! And now, now I have to deal with my alter ego being arrested, all because I didn’t have the presence of mind to just drop the disguise like I was supposed to! To top it all off, Cadance is going to start laughing any second now, I just know she will. I know I would, if I was in her shoes.

“Why would I laugh about that?” Cadance asks, looking both offended by the notion and also concerned. “Artemis… matters of the heart aren’t something to ridicule. Love is—”

“Oh, no, you can stop right there,” I interrupt her, planning on nipping this lunacy right in the bud. “For the last time, Nymphadora is my friend. Just because we’ve gone out to lunch a few times doesn’t mean we’re dating.” I look away with a huff. “Stupid love obsessed candy princess.”

“There are more kinds of love than just the romantic kind, you know,” Cadance points out, getting this smug look on her face as I feel heat rising in my cheeks. “I wasn’t trying to imply that you’re falling for the mare or anything.”

“Yeah, sure, and I’m a leprechaun,” I grumble, glaring at her through my bangs as I lower my head slightly, trying to hide my blush. Damn it, I’m not falling in love! I can’t be! I haven’t even known Nymphadora all that long, for fuck’s sake. She just surprised me, that’s all. Yes, it was just a shock for her to kiss my cheek like that, nothing more. “You just keep your busybody nose out of my perfectly platonic relationship. The last thing I need is someone trying to play matchmaker, Princess of Love or not.”

“Okay, okay, relax,” Cadance says soothingly, though I keep glaring at her for good measure. “I’m sorry for teasing you. You’re just so… adorable whenever you get all huffy like this.”

“I am not adorable!” I snap, cheeks practically burning at this point. “Look, forget it. I’ll apologize to the guards and… wait.” Something finally occurs to me, my eyes searching the room for a clock that isn’t there. “What time is it?”

“It’s… sometime in the early afternoon?” Cadance offers, sounding unsure. “Why do you ask?”

“I might be late for lunch with Nymphadora,” I groan, letting my head bang against the table. “Great. My first friend and I manage to screw things up.”

“Oh, relax,” Cadance says, patting my head even as I turn it so I can glare at her again. Relax? How can I possibly relax?! “We’ll get this sorted out with the guards and then you’ll be on your way to your not-date in no time.” She offers me an encouraging smile. “Don’t worry, Artemis. I’ve got this.”

“...why doesn’t that make me feel any better?”

“Oh, hush.”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

“You’re lucky that Princess Cadenza is so generous,” the guard escorting me out of the palace grumbles, not happy with how things turned out. “You should be facing jail time, not a fine and a warning to not do it again.”

“What can I say?” I can’t help myself, the snark just flowing out of my mouth before I can stop it. “She simply couldn’t resist my roguish charms.”

“Keep dreaming, pal,” the guard snaps, giving me a not so gentle push out the main gate. “I ever catch you within sight of the palace again and I’ll lock you up on principle. Now get lost!” He then slams the gate shut, a sigh escaping me once he leaves. Well, at least that’s over with. Here’s hoping Nymphadora won’t be too mad with me once I find this “Restaurant Row” place. It’s not all that hard to find as it turns out, my eyes scanning over the various buildings as I make my way down the street. Almost every single one of them has a sign above the door with three stylized horseshoes engraved into it, making me wonder what it could mean.

Of course, I have no idea what to pick. The different names just blur together, their facades remarkably similar otherwise, so I really have no clue as to where we should go once I find Nymph. I guess I can let her pick as an apology, since I’m pretty much lost at this point, so that settles that. I’m still kinda new to this whole friendship thing, after all. Well, I say new, but I had friends before I… died. I think. It was a thousand years ago, so I honestly don’t remember anymore. And I’m rambling in my head again. This is one hell of a bad habit I have. Maybe I should talk to my therapist about it? It couldn’t hurt I suppo—

“You’re late,” a very disgruntled sounding voice derails my crazy train of thought, my legs locking up as I see Nymphadora giving me one hell of a glare. “We agreed to fifteen minutes, not triple that.” Ouch, no wonder she looks so mad. “What took you so long, Dusk? I was just about to go looking for you and everything!” Shit, what do I say? Quick, brain, come up with an excuse!

“Uh…” God fucking damn it, brain! Get your shit together and DO SOMETHING! “I-I’m sorry, Nymph, believe me, I didn’t expect to take so long.” Okay, good, start off with an apology. Now just come up with a convincing lie and we’ll be fine. Probably. Maybe not, but we have to try something! “But I ran into my niece and she decided we needed to have a visit.” It’s as close to the truth as I can get, even though it’s still a lie, but at least it’s something.

“You have a niece?” Nymph asks, sounding like she doesn’t believe me. “Since when?”

“Since my sister decided to have foals?” I shrug uncomfortably. “I didn’t expect the visit, but I’m sorry it took up so much time.” I think of something, smiling hopefully. “How about I treat you this time, as my apology?” She stares at me for a few moments, frowning deeply, probably mulling it over, then sighs heavily.

“Fine,” she says, though she doesn’t sound happy about it. “But on one condition.”

“Name it,” I say eagerly, part of me wondering why I’m so ready to throw myself upon her mercy, but the rest of me is too relieved to care. She steps in close, our horns crossing, heat rising in my cheeks as I remember the kiss from earlier. Damn it, what’s the matter with me? I feel like I’m going through puberty, again! And now my brain is melting as her lips, soft, warm, full, press against mine, her tongue questing past them and into my mouth, even as my brain screams and something worms its way into my head and—

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

“Dusk?” What? What was… wasn’t she just kissing me? But she’s not in reach, and my head… ugh, why does my head hurt? “Are you okay?”

“Yes?” I reply uncertainly, feeling dizzy and confused. What was that? “Did you just…?” I trail off, my cheeks on fire, and she just looks at me, puzzled. “Forget it.”

“I was just saying that you’re buying me desert, too,” Nymph informs me, sounding concerned. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” I lie, my head killing me. “I just spaced out there for a second, I guess.” I need to see the palace physician, my shrink, someone, it doesn’t matter. That little delusion wasn’t normal, no matter how fucked up my head is. But for now, lunch sounds good. That and an entire bottle of Aspirin, maybe with some scotch to wash it down with. Yeah, that’d be awesome but, unfortunately, I’ll just have to deal with it. Besides, it’s not like I haven’t been in worse pain before, so this migraine won’t stop me. “Come on, let’s decide on a place and get something to eat.”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Chrysalis watches the disguised Artemis walking along the restaurant fronts, smiling pleasantly, though the expression leaves her eyes cold as ice. For a moment she’d been worried that she’d gone too far, but he seems to have dismissed the kiss as a daydream. It had been a means to shock him, to lower his guard, but, she had to admit, the flare of lust she’d induced in him had been satisfying in its own right. Too bad she has to let him think it was only his imagination, otherwise it would be excellent leverage she could have used at a later date. Still, she’d gained something much better; a back door into the alicorn’s mind. Carefully cultivated, it would serve her purposes very well indeed. For now, however, she must be patient. Patient and cautious, for if Artemis manages to catch on to her manipulations before her hive is ready… well, she didn’t like thinking about what he’d do in that case.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Shining Armor spent his time at the party speaking to different ponies, politely declining any advances, from mares and stallions, which always managed to surprise him, and just enjoying himself while he could. He managed to meet the other Element Bearers; first had been Applejack, who’d just about shook his right foreleg off, apparently the same greeting she’d given his sister the first time they’d met. Fortunately she showed absolutely no interest in him, so that bit of awkwardness was avoided at least. As Twilight’s brother, he’d been assured that if he ever needed anything, all he had to do was seek out the Apple family. He’s glad his sister has such good friends. It would make her life much easier going forward.

Next had been Fluttershy, though their meeting had been accidental. The mare had been sticking to the fringes of the party, avoiding the larger groups, and he’d almost tripped over her she’d been so inconspicuous. She’d stammered a quiet, almost too quiet, apology, he’d tried to apologize instead, and then she’d tried to take all the blame for his mistake for herself. Element of Kindness? More like Element of Martyrdom. Still, once they’d gotten past the awkward introduction, she’d opened up just a tiny bit, revealing a nice—if terribly shy, fitting given her name—mare who loved animals and her friends.

Third, and last, was Rarity; cultured, dignified, and definitely interested. She didn’t say anything, perhaps having spoken to Rainbow Dash, but unless he was mistaken, which is possible, she’d been horribly disappointed that he isn’t single. Still, she was polite, if a little… she wasn’t stuck up, but she reminded him of some of the Canterlot nobility in a way. Whether that is a good or bad thing, however, only time will tell. Eventually the party wound down, until finally just Twilight, himself, Spike and the other mares were left. Now here they are, seated at the central table, the leftovers of the party surrounding them, the tense silence thick enough to cut with a knife. Apparently Twilight had informed them of exactly why he’d come to Ponyville with her in the first place. Good. It would save him some time.

“Alright, if none of ya’ll will say it, Ah will,” Applejack spoke up, frowning at him from across the table. “I ain’t fixin’ tah be made inta some kinda soldier, Twilight’s brother or not. Ah’m a farmer and that’s what Ah’ll always be.”

“Well, that’s good,” Shining says, her puzzled expression causing him to smile. “Because the princess has plenty of soldiers already and we’re in agreement; we don’t want to make you soldiers or even Crown agents. We just want you to be able to respond properly in emergencies, so you’ll be both safer and more effective whenever your help is needed.”

“Well then, you’ve got nothing to worry about with me,” Rainbow Dash boasts, grinning proudly. “I’ve been training my whole life to join the Wonderbolts and I can handle anything the world decides to throw at me!”

“Says the mare who decided kicking a fully grown dragon in the snout was a good idea,” Shining counters dryly, the rainbow maned pegasus’ cheeks darkening as she glares at him heatedly. “I’ll admit, Miss Dash, you’re a good flier and, from what Twily’s told me, a decent weather manager, but you’re clearly not as great as you think you are.”

“Now hold on just a second,” Rainbow protests, slamming her hooves down atop the table hard enough to cause it to creak ominously. “Okay, sure, I messed up, but—”

“But nothing,” Shining cut her off, leaning forward and meeting her gaze directly. “You could have gotten everypony killed. If Prince Artemis and Princess Luna hadn’t been there to protect you, you very well might have.”

“Shiny, that’s enough,” Twilight protests, glancing between him and the scowling mare worriedly. “Rainbow Dash may be brash sometimes, but she’s a good friend. I won’t sit here and let you cut her down to make a point.”

“No.” This came from Rainbow Dash, her ears folded back, a look of deep shame on her face. “No, he’s right. I hate it, but he’s right.” She sits back down, face partly hidden by her bangs as she continues to speak. “It was stupid, but I never… I would never let my friends get hurt because of me.”

“Don’t beat yourself up so much, Dashie,” Pinkie Pie says, patting her shoulder comfortingly. “You just let yourself get too excited, that’s all.” She smiles broadly. “I do that all the time, and, besides, we’re all okay!”

“This time,” Rainbow mutters, though she seems to feel a little better thanks to the pink mare’s words. “Okay, fine. You’ve made your point, at least to me.”

“I have a question, if I may,” Rarity says, drawing Shining Armor’s attention from the chastised Rainbow Dash. “You’re here to train us, correct?” He nods in response. “This would involve very physical pursuits, dirt and sweat, yes?” Another nod. “I don’t suppose we can refuse?”

“Of course you can,” Shining says, surprising them all with the admission. “You’re not soldiers and this isn’t a royal decree. But if you’d had the training I want to give you when you confronted the dragon, things would have gone very differently.” He glances over the six of them. “I want to teach you discipline, how to not panic in a dangerous situation and give you the reflexes that could very well save your lives. I don’t expect, or want, you to be soldiers but maybe, just maybe, I can help keep you all as safe as you can be whenever you have to go into danger again.”

“We won’t have to hurt anypony, will we?” Fluttershy asks, half hiding behind her mane, even flinching slightly as his gaze falls on her next. “I mean, I know you said we don’t have to be soldiers, but, while I certainly don’t want to speak for everypony, I don’t think any of us want to learn how to… how to hurt.” She’d come close to saying something else, but she made her point just fine.

“You won’t learn anything you don’t want to,” Shining assures her, even offering her a smile. “I understand your reservations, but I really do believe the training I have in mind will help.”

“Well, Ah know ya probably mean well, but Ah can’t just drop everything just ta do this training of yers,” Applejack interjects. “Ah have a farm to run, Rarity has a business to manage, even Dash and Pinkie have their jobs ta do… how do ya’ll think we’re supposed ta work this out, sugarcube?”

“I can work around your schedules,” Shining replies readily. “I’m not on any set timetable. My orders simply say that I have to train you, so it doesn’t matter how I have to do it or how long it takes.”

”But that means you could be here for a very long time,” Rarity observes. “What would happen if we all choose not to take part? Would you just be stuck here?”

“Oh, come on, Rarity, I’m sure the princess is more reasonable than that,” Rainbow Dash scoffs. “Besides, I don’t know about you, but I’m always up for more training.” She throws a smirk Shining Armor’s way. “If Captain Armor here thinks he can keep up, that is.”

“Down, girl,” Applejack jokingly chastises. “Well, as long as it won’t interfere with mah work on the farm, Ah guess Ah can get behind it, too.”

“You know me, Shiny,” Twilight begins, though she seems a little uncomfortable about it. “I’m not saying I’m all that thrilled, of course, but…”

“But it’s from Princess Celestia,” Shining finishes for her, smiling right back. “That’s three of you so far. Remember, this is voluntary. So, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to.”

“Sure, why not?” Pinkie shrugs, spinning in her chair… whose seat shouldn’t be able to spin. “Sounds like it could be fun!”

“Ngn, I don’t know,” Rarity begins hesitantly. “I don’t mind working out in order to stay healthy but… but we’d be getting so dirty.” She shudders. “Ohhh, I don’t want to but… fine. But I reserve the right to voice my displeasure over it!”

“You, fuss over a bit of dirt?” Applejack looks like she’s trying not to grin, leaving her eyes bright with mirth. “Perish the thought, sugarcube.”

“I know where you sleep, Applejack,” Rarity reminds the other mare, Shining raising his brows at this. Wow, not what he’d expected in the least. “So if you happen to wake up one morning wearing one of my more… risque ensembles when your brother comes to wake you, you’ll have nopony to blame but yourself.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Applejack protests, glaring across the table at the other mare heatedly. Are they going to fight? Shining Armor prepares himself, just in case, only for the two of them to laugh, though Rarity’s is more of a dainty giggle than the guffaw from Applejack. Why had he ever expected his LSBFF’s friends to be normal ponies? How silly of him.

“That just leaves you, Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash points out, drawing everypony’s attention to the mare who’d been mostly silent up until this point.

“Oh, dear,” the buttery yellow pegasus murmurs, clearly not happy to be suddenly thrust into the spotlight. “I wouldn’t want to drag the rest of you down, so maybe I should just sit this one out.”

“That’s your choice to make, Fluttershy,” Shining Armor reminds her. “I, of course, would recommend you take part, but ultimately it’s you that has to decide. Not me, not your friends; just you.” This doesn’t seem to help much, the pressure seeming to make the mare want to look smaller in her seat. “Just think about it for now. The training grounds won’t be ready any time soon, so you have time to consider your options.” He hops down off of his chair. “The same goes for the rest of you. If you change your minds about this, nopony will hold it against you. But if you really commit to this, I expect your very best effort.” He gives them all one last serious look before making to depart. “It was nice meeting you all. I’ll be staying at the Mareweather Inn if you need me.”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

“What the fuck is this?” I ask as I stare at my plate, the two of us having finally settled on a restaurant, only for the interior to be… posh. And not in a good way. Well, I figured, it’s Restaurant Row, a popular destination in Canterlot. Posh places are to be expected. Then again, when I hear the name “Dine n’ Dash” I don’t expect… whatever this is.

“It’s food,” Nymphadora replies hesitantly as she stares at her own plate. “I think.” She tilts her head, frowning slightly. “Maybe?”

“It’s rich people food,” I grumble, the tiny portions and overall presentation leaving me thoroughly unenthused. “Well, I’m paying for it, so we might as well try it.” I pop one of the three tiny helpings into my mouth, able to fit it all in no problem, and chew thoughtfully. I don’t know what I’d been expecting, but this bland, almost tasteless, fare is not it. From the look on her face, Nymph isn’t enjoying her own meal any more than I am. It’s not like it tastes bad, of course, but it needs to taste like something, anything, before it can have any such qualifiers attached to it.

“This is the best Restaurant Row has to offer?” Nymph asks once she finishes her own morsel, looking outraged. Not that I can blame her. What a waste of goddamn money. “I’ve eaten raw grass with more flavor than this!”

“I’ve never eaten anything so… boring.” I screw up my face, unable to come up with a better description for what I just ingested. “Hey, garcon!” I draw the attention of our server. “Check, please!” He goes to tabulate our bill, and I push away my plate in disgust. “That place you took me before had no hooves and wasn’t on Restaurant Row,” I remark, thinking about what that could mean. “Are all the rated places like this?”

“I don’t know,” Nymph replies, also quite done with her own “meal”. “But let’s not waste money finding out.”

“Amen to that,” I grumble, levitating my coin purse off of where it hangs around my neck. Since I have no idea how ponies seemingly pull things out of thin air, I thought it best to secure it someplace I could keep track of it. The bill comes, I slap some coins on the table and we leave, both of us rather disappointed by the experience. Damn it, this isn’t how I wanted any of this to go! This was supposed to be a nice, relaxing afternoon for the both of us, and yet, despite my efforts, we’re left with a literal bad taste in our mouths. Should I just stop trying? It just seems like anything I do is doomed to end in failure. “...no.”

“Dusk?” Nymph calls to me, sounding concerned, the scowl on my face likely not helping in that regard. “It’s okay, Dusk—”

“No, it’s not,” I protest, only to flinch as I realize that I just snapped at her. “Sorry, I won’t let this ruin our afternoon.” I inhale, then exhale, seeking that calm center that my therapist insists I find whenever I’m upset. Of course, I don’t often try, but I’m willing to put in the effort just this once. “Well, there’s nothing for it. We need… junk food.”

“Junk food?” Nymphadora parrots, causing me to grin.

“And lots of it~”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Chrysalis can’t help staring in morbid fascination as the disguised Artemis wolfs down yet another, admittedly tasty, hay burger, his table manners simply atrocious, even by changeling standards. He’d dragged them across Canterlot, hunting for a place to acquire the junk food he had spoken of, eventually bringing them to the Canterlot branch of the fast food chain simply known as “The Hay Burger”. His mouth ringed by catsup, the prince in commoner’s clothing revels in his stacks of burgers, horseshoe fries, and extra large milkshake. By the First Egg, he’s eating like he’s afraid he’ll never do so again.

“Are you even breathing right now?” Chrysalis asks, a tremor in her voice, a certain awe and fear coloring her tone at how much he’s packing away. “Where are you even putting it all?”

“Hm?” He looks up from his tray, cheeks puffed out with his mouthful of food. He takes a moment to finish chewing and swallows. “Sorry, did you say something?”

“You’re going to make yourself sick eating so fast,” Chrysalis remarks, though she wonders if being an alicorn has any effect on that. “I mean I can sort of get why you’re stuffing your face right now, but maybe slow down a little?”

“Sorry,” he says, taking a moment to wipe his mouth with a napkin. “It’s just been… a very long time since I’ve had food like this.” She can’t help raising a brow at this.

“How long are we talking about here?” She asks, curious, taking a moment to enjoy her own burger now that she’s no longer watching the train wreck of his hunger being sated.

“Feels like it’s been a thousand years,” Artemis mutters, something in his eyes, the set of his shoulders, even the look on his face, suggesting something deeper than hyperbole lying behind his words. “God, I’d forgotten… nevermind.” He smiles, though the expression doesn’t reach his eyes, Chrysalis letting herself taste his emotions, wanting to know what had brought this on. She gets feelings of loss, regret, and… anger. Not at anyone in particular, at least not as far as she can tell at the moment, but it is still there. “After sampling what the elite think food is, I thought this would be a much nicer fare for us to enjoy.”

“I won’t deny the fact that, despite the grease, I’m enjoying myself,” Chrysalis admits, the food,while lacking any nutritional value to her, rather pleasing to her palate. While a changeling can technically “digest” food, their insides basically breaking it down to so much paste that can be regurgitated later, they gain absolutely nothing from the experience, save perhaps enjoying the taste. For despite having an almost nonexistent digestive tract, a changeling’s sense of taste differs very little from that of the average pony. Perhaps to better blend in with their prey? She can’t even begin to guess, honestly. “You’ll just have to get me dessert later.”

“So demanding,” Artemis groans in an overly dramatic fashion, Chrysalis smirking as he slumps down in his seat. “But I guess I did promise, so… hm.” He frowns, looking thoughtful. “Any good dessert places around here?” Chrysalis freezes up, mind scrambling, unable to remember ever seeing a shop specializing in sweets. Then again, it’s not as if she’d ever been looking for one, either. “Wait.” Artemis, thankfully, seems to have thought of something. “I do know one place but, well… it’s in Ponyville.” He gives her a searching glance. “It’d be a bit far for dessert but I’m just about out of other ideas at the moment.”

“Maybe next time,” Chrysalis replies, not wanting to tempt fate by going to where Captain Armor had been sent. “We’ll just take a rain check on that dessert, so no worries.”

“Alright, if you’re sure,” Artemis says, relaxing a bit with that out of the way. “So, I was sort of wondering…” He trails off, looking distinctly uncomfortable, before finally shaking his head. “No, nevermind.” She feels a spike of fear, which he swiftly squashes when he goes quiet. Curious.

“What’s the matter?” She asks, wanting to know why he’d suddenly shut down like that. “Come on, Dusk, it’s okay. You can talk to me about anything.”

“Anything?” For some reason this amuses him, again only serving to confuse her. Nothing her mother had been able to teach her about ponies ever seems to apply to the strange alicorn called Artemis. “And what if I were to tell you that I’m an alien from beyond the stars?”

“I’d say your sense of humor needs some work,” she replies dryly, his poor attempt at distracting her falling flat on its face. “Come on, Dusk, I’m trying to be serious here.” Her words cause a flare up of sadness, of all things. “Now just say what you were going to say already.”

“I don’t know how to ask this,” he begins tentatively after a long period of silence, playing with the remnants of his latest victim/burger nervously. “So, I guess, I’ll just ask: why me?”

“Why you?” Chrysalis echoes, puzzled, and surprised, by the question. “Why you… what?”

“Why did you approach me in the first place?” He clarifies, frowning across the table at her, no longer toying with his food. “You didn’t know anything about me, so I’m wondering why you felt the need to,” the left corner of his mouth lifts ever so slightly, “throw yourself at me like that.”

“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?” She grumbles, genuine embarrassment and annoyance coloring her tone as she remembers her first fumbling attempts at seduction. It’s not exactly something you can teach a family member, not unless you want to get really weird, so she doesn’t blame her mother for not being able to convey the lessons properly, especially given the circumstances of their confinement. But damn if it didn’t make things more difficult at times. “Alright, this isn’t going to be very flattering, but here goes… I was in a bit of a dry spell.”

“You were what?” The terminology seems to confuse him, so she decides to elaborate.

“I mean that you’re a cute stallion,” she smirks at how his cheeks darken, “and I hadn’t been on a date in ages. The fact that you were a convicted criminal was just an added bonus.”

“How does that even work?” he asks, frown returning as a result of her words.

“Every mare likes a bad colt,” Chrysalis responds, taking a moment to sip from her shake before continuing. “Though, honestly, if you had succumbed to my… charms, it likely wouldn’t have gone very far.”

“So because I resisted your fumbling attempts at coming across, it made you more interested instead of less?” He shakes his head slightly. “Okay, I don’t understand but that does answer my question, I guess.”

“Don’t sound so disappointed,” she teases him. “We’re here, having a good time. Why question it?”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Why am I questioning this? Why can’t I just enjoy the moment? My therapist would likely know the answer, but I honestly can’t be bothered right now. Stop poking at it, Artemis, and say something already. She’s getting that worried look on her face again.

“I’m sorry,” I say at last, trying my best to smile. “I don’t know where that came from, but you’re right. We are here and this has been fun.”

“Why do I hear a ‘but’ coming on?” Nymph asks, that concerned look still on her face. What do I say? But I don’t deserve this? But I’ve been lying to you from the first day we’ve met? But I’m a fraud? Fuck’s sake, there’s so many things I could say, but what would be the point? She’d never believe any of it.

“No buts,” I lie instead, smile widening a touch. “I just never thought I’d enjoy spending time with somepony so much.” A kernel of truth to hide the lie. “I’ve never been very outgoing, you know?” To say the very least. “So, I guess what I should say is; thank you. For everything.”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Chrysalis finds herself fighting the urge to laugh. The idea that Artemis would thank her for using him amuses her to no end. Instead she puts on a smile, mirroring his, just as much of a lie, though of course for a different reason.

“No need to thank me, Dusk,” she says, giggling softly, having to let the mirth bubbling up inside her out somehow, otherwise she might just blow her cover. “It’s been my pleasure~”