Find Her, Keep Her

With some time, the two came to settle down after the incident that drove off Lyra in the first place, and were able to continue on with their lives as before, almost as if nothing happened.

Feeling absolutely ready to make the next step with Lyra, Kyle confronted her one day on a bent knee, asking her a very important question... and she, most happily, accepted.

Both Kyle and Lyra decided that they were ready to commit to each other for life (...or at least until Lyra somehow ends up returning to Equestria). Since they could not be legally married without the possibility of Lyra being taken by the government for research, all they did was make a video recording of their wedding. Kyle put a painting he made of Princess Celestia in the background, typically where the priest or pastor would stand during the wedding ceremony.

“Lyra Viridian Heartstrings...” Kyle began. “...ever since I met you, when you were lost near my special area, you have given me the glimmer of hope that I needed to push through with my bad ordeals, and your comfort has helped me to cope with my stress and anxiety. I love you, Lyra.”

Lyra smiled and blushed. “And Kyle Jonathan Schaeffer... you have given me the greatest experience that I could ever ask for, and that's saying something given how relentless and unforgiving this world is. You have taught me the level of compassion that humans can have. The legends of humans in Equestria, of all the war, havoc, and destruction they cause... I now understand that not all humans are like that. I'm so happy to have met you and to call you my friend. I love you, Kyle.”

Kyle smiled at the Unicorn. After listening to her finish, Kyle held up the diamond ring in his hand, and slipped it onto Lyra's horn. “I take you, Lyra Heartstrings, as my wife... now and forever.” he said.

Lyra levitated the golden band in front of her, as well as Kyle's left hand, and slipped the ring onto his fourth finger. “And I take you, Kyle Schaeffer, as my husband... now and forever.” she replied.

The two stared at each other's eyes for a long while, and they both leaned in and kissed.

Kyle has finally done it. He has finally managed to emerge from the shell he has hid inside for all these years since his father died and his mother left. He let a beautiful, sweet, little pony into his life... and she has purified him from the darkness he had been trapped in for far too long.

Having difficulty cooperating with people all his life had turned Kyle into a full-on paranoid introvert prior to meeting Lyra. He always tried his best to stay out of trouble, but luck was almost never in his favor, and he took the heat for a lot of things over the years; half of them were not even his fault. Being scolded and bullied had become his number-one fear, all because people took nearly everything he said the wrong way, and whenever the same thing came out of someone else's mouth, everyone was okay with it. It made zero-sense to Kyle over the years. He could not handle being yelled at, especially after the bullies, teachers, and stepfamily in his life had done it quite excessively.

Because of this, he trusted nobody, and became extremely nervous and shy around people out of his fear of doing the wrong thing, and he created the “No Interaction = No Risk of Getting in Trouble” self-preservation instinct. In the inevitable situations when he did need to interact with people, he always felt it best to hold his tongue unless absolutely necessary.

However... his fear may well be locked deep in the archives of his mind now. Lyra was definitely someone who had his full trust, and she hardly ever took things the wrong way now, but whenever Kyle would explain himself, she would be willing to listen, and they would always make up.

He now had a fantastic place of his own, a job he enjoyed, all the time in the world, and now, something that he literally thought he would never have in his lifetime... a wife.

My love life has started a bit late for my liking... Kyle thought. ...but, better late than never, right?

Even though Kyle was always tempted to put “Married” on every document he was asked to fill out, he was legally required to say that he was “Single,” because according to the courts, he was not married. But, this did not change that fact that he would tell people in casual situations that he was married, and he always wore his wedding ring.

There were a few young woman he would meet at art shows, apparently attempting to ask him for a lunch or even downright seduce him. Had he never met Lyra, Kyle would have probably accepted one of his choosing... but since he was “married,” Kyle took no hesitation to show his wedding ring and decline these woman (politely, of course). Besides, he was absolutely not polygamous.

Sure, they might be nice, good-looking girls... Kyle thought. ...but all of my heart belongs to Lyra.

(XXXX)

A couple of days following his "marriage" with Lyra, Kyle had retrieved his mail on one particular afternoon. It was the usual; a couple of utility bills, some advertisements and junk mail... but something else caught his eye. It was a letter notifying Kyle about his high school reunion, five years after his graduation, and it was coming up in a few months.

He frowned upon looking at the envelope.

"Hey!" Lyra said, walking into the room. "Anything addressed from Equestria in there?"

She laughed after saying this.

"No..." Kyle said, picking up the invitation. "...it's my high school reunion invitation."

"Really?" Lyra asked.

Kyle nodded. "It's common in this world for there to be a class reunion after a certain number of years."

“Aren't you gonna go to it?” Lyra asked.

“Hell NO.” Kyle said. “I hated high school; I don't want to be reminded of it.”

Lyra pursed her lips and rubbed her chin. "So, you're just gonna skip it?"

Kyle nodded. "It's what I have planned." he said.

He sat, staring at the envelope for a few moments... before an idea popped into his head. He opened up the letter to see the address.

"What are you doing?" Lyra asked.

"Just checking the address..." Kyle said. "...I think I might actually go... but not in the way anyone might suspect. And with that in mind... you wanna come with me?"

Lyra raised a brow. "What do you have in mind...?" she asked.

Kyle bent down to her level, and whispered something into her ear. Her face became surprised for a moment... but then she smiled in an amused way, and then laughed a little bit. After a short amount of time, Kyle stood back up.

"So... what do you think?" he asked.

Lyra nodded, her lips quivering in laughter. "I think we should do it!"

"Okay!" Kyle said, clapping his hands together. "I'll just head down to the Home Depot and Walmart to pick up some things we'll need, and we'll be good to go!"

(XXXX)

Later that evening, when the sun was setting, the two arrived just outside of the park where the reunion was going take place, but the park was a pretty long drive away. Kyle's SUV was filled with some 2x4 planks, screws, rubber tubing, a large funnel, and a couple of coolers filled with balloons... only they were not filled with water. Instead, they held an assortment of foul-smelling liquids, such as paint, rubbing alcohol, shaving cream, sour cream, etc.

"You think it was worth all the money you spent on this?" Lyra asked.

"Trust me, Ly..." Kyle said. "...it's worth every dime. And I make more than enough money as it is!"

Ever since they got married, Kyle had taken to calling Lyra by his pet name he created, "Ly," but she did not mind. She also sometimes called him "Ky" or "Ky-Ky" if she was in a good mood, and he also did not mind.

As for what they had in mind, they were going to build a slingshot on the vantage point of a hill just outside of the park. It was an ideal location for launching a surprise attack on the students, since the trees and other shrubbery on the apex of the hill made it difficult to see if anyone was up there.

After a good hour of measure, drilling, sawing, and leveling, they had finished building the slingshot, and by then, night had fallen and the party had started down in the park. They turned it away from the park to fire off some test shots, and found its performance to be adequate.

"Okay, I think it's ready! See any targets?" Kyle asked.

After looking through a pair of binoculars that Kyle brought for a few moments, Lyra caught sight of a group of students, laughing and having a good time.

"Oh yeah! Target in sight!" Lyra said.

"Whereabouts?" Kyle asked.

"Right there." Lyra said, raising her hoof to point in the direction she was referring to.

Kyle took the binoculars and looked at the group. It just so happened that he spotted two people in particular... one of which was Mikayla, one of his many crushes in high school, and Jacob, his rival who stole Mikayla from him before he even had a fair chance.

"Well... look at that." Kyle said.

"What?" Lyra asked.

"...It's my former crush and her boyfriend." Kyle responded.

"Oh, really?" Lyra said. "How'd everything go down with her?"

"Well..." Kyle began. "...we spent a lot of classtime together in our Geometry class. She was literally the only reason I would look forward to that class. After spending time to build some rapport... I bought two tickets to a movie, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part II... but then, she laughed at me. She called me a desperate shoelicker... I assume because I was always willing to carry out whatever she requested..."

Lyra's jaw dropped. "That idiot! Does she have any idea she turned away such an amazing, handsome person?" she asked.

Kyle hung his head down as he smiled and blushed at Lyra's comment. "Well... I guess I wasn't really acting like myself at the time."

"Well... her loss!" Lyra said. "She doesn't deserve such a sweet guy like you if she's gonna leave you in the dust! I'd say we need to punish her!"

Kyle nodded, looking through the binoculars at the party. "...And let's be sure to punish everyone else who gave me a hard time!"

He looked through the binoculars again.

"Weird... doesn't look like my few friends from high school showed up for the reunion." Kyle said.

"Well... at least they won't hate you after this." Lyra added.

"You're right." Kyle said. "I don't wanna make a bad impression on the people who trust me."

"Well, enough waiting around..." Lyra said, eagerly. "...let's do this!"

“Okay, so Lyra, hand me one of the balloons...” Kyle said.

Lyra levitated a balloon filled with paint over to him.

“...and I'll load the slingshot...” Kyle said as he put the balloon in the funnel.

He stepped back to draw the slingshot.

“...and Lyra, what does a match create when you strike it?” Kyle asked.

“Um...” Lyra pondered for a moment. “...well, the friction of the match against the rough phosphorus surface—”

“Don't overthink it.” Kyle said, smirking.

“Uh... fire?” Lyra guessed.

“As you wish!” Kyle said, releasing the slingshot.

The balloon lobbed through the air, and landed somewhere in the grassy area where the reunion party was taking place. It caused several people to scatter away from it, but others thought it was part of the reunion... something that would be most definitely a false assumption.

“SWEET!” Kyle said, triumphantly. “This thing is more powerful than I thought!”

Lyra was laughing. “Ha ha ha ha! Let's do it again!”

“Okay, load me up!” Kyle said.

One after another, they went through their ammo, some hitting the ground and splattering nearby people, and others hitting people directly and ruining their nice clothing. They lobbed the balloons through the air instead of shooting straight, as it would help to make them harder to detect.

“Ah-hah-hah...!” Mikayla screamed, almost sounding like fake crying. “Stop it!”

Kyle and Lyra could not help but snigger at the helpless cries of the alumni below, with one of their coolers having been used up on all of them.

“Yep... now the real party's gettin' started!” Kyle said.

“Shall we deploy another barrage of projectiles, sire?” Lyra asked in a British accent.

“Indeed, we shall!” Kyle answered in a British accent as well.

With that, they continued their nonlethal assault on the reunion, rapid-firing their repulsive bombs at the former students in the park, creating many arcs through the air, and hitting people over the head, which basically covered their entire person in substances.

“AAAAAAAAAH! STOP IT!” Mikayla shrieked at the sky.

“YOU'RE IN FUCKING DEAD MEAT!” Jacob shouted at the sky as well.

"You wish..." Kyle said, taking aim with the slingshot straight at Jacob as he continued to shout off insults at nothing, but this time making it a straight shot.

With absolutely remarkable (and lucky) precision, Jacob was silenced as the balloon filled with shaving cream collided with him squarely in the chest, knocking him over. A massive smile spread over Kyle's face.

“Got him!” Kyle said, doing a fist-pump. “Bull's-eye!”

"Now for the mutt who turned you down..." Lyra said, taking her own aim with the slingshot this time.

She was able to magically predict where the path of the slingshot would be, and released it with the same incredible, sniper-like precision. The balloon collided with Mikayla, covering her entire front with vinegar, and permanently ruining her dress.

Both Kyle and Lyra gasped in shock... and then slowly looked at each other...

...and they both started laughing, falling to the ground and rolling after a brief moment. Eventually, they stood up and looked at the damage they had caused.

"Wow... it worked even better than I was hoping!" Kyle said.

"I can't believe how powerful this slingshot is!" Lyra said. "Could you imagine what would happen if it fell into the wrong hands?"

"I could only imagine... but we have definitely proven a point here!" Kyle stated loudly in the direction of the reunion party. "You hear that!? Nobody messes with us! We declare ourselves King and Queen of this park! Any who defy us face our wrath!"

"Hey, up there!" one of the former students said, pointing straight at Kyle.

"Get that guy!" another said.

Kyle stopped smiling and his eyes widened. "Uh-oh... let's bail!"

"Ditto!" Lyra said, both of them abandoning the slingshot and rushing back down the hill towards the car.

"Gotta find the keys... where are my keys!?" Kyle said.

"C'mon, hurry!" Lyra said. "They're getting closer!"

"My keys are buried pretty deep in my pocket!" Kyle said. "I feel them... but... can't... pull 'em out...!"

"C'mon, don't let him get away!" an alumni shouted as the group got closer to Kyle and Lyra.

Both of them made a run for it. It was dark out, so they could not be made out easily from a distance. They happened to spot a Target building just across the street from the park. The lights were still on, but the place was going to close in roughly ten minutes. They just needed a diversion to keep the former students occupied so that they could escape in the car. The two ran across the street and rushed into the building, Kyle pulling his jacket hood over his head and his shirt over the lower half of his face to prevent the cameras from identifying him, and they caught the sight from an employee.

"Hey!" the employee shouted. "We're about to close up!"

"Sorry, got my own things to lock up!" Kyle said as he ran, Lyra obscured from his vision by the checkout counter.

Lyra would be seen on camera, but with Kyle covering most of his face, nobody would be able to trace her back to him, as long as they were extremely careful about it. Plus, they lived over a half-hour away from the location.

They rushed for the back of the store, several former classmates hot on their trail, but Lyra was right in front of Kyle, obscuring their view of her. The two made it to a broom closet near the back of the store.

"In here, hurry!" Kyle said, pointing to the closet.

He opened it, and Lyra rushed inside, but right when Kyle was going to follow her, the group saw him.

"There he is, get him!" the former students shouted.

"Stay here!" Kyle said before shutting the door.

He made a break down the closest aisle, ran around the perimeter of the store, and made it to the front. He happened to spot another door. Checking to make sure that no one was watching, Kyle entered the door, closing it behind him. He immediately saw that there were multiple monitors on the wall, all linked to the surveillance system.

Meanwhile, the former class was all looking about the store, several employees urging them to leave the building before closing.

"Hey, maybe he's in here!" one of the students called out... as he stood right outside of the broom closet where Lyra was.

The mare happened to hear his voice, realizing that the door he was talking about was the one she was behind. They were about to open the door... about to see Lyra... about to inevitably capture her...

“...Frère Jacques, frère Jacques,
Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?
Sonnez les matines! Sonnez les matines!
Ding, dang, dong. Ding, dang, dong...”

Kyle's voice appeared on the PA, singing Frère Jacques in a French accent over and over, attempting to create a distraction for Lyra to escape. He was, in fact, laying in the security office chair, looking at the monitors to see if it was working, holding the microphone to his mouth as he sang.

And it worked; they did not open the door, and all began to make a break for the front of the store. Kyle took this chance, and left the security office, covering his face and head again. He quickly but stealthily ran around the outermost edge of the store back over to where Lyra was, and got her out of the closet.

"Are they gone?" Lyra asked.

"I don't know..." Kyle said, looking around. "...but we gotta get the hell outta here, now! I don't wanna get in trouble for our fun time..."

"How about through there? Is there a way out that way?" Lyra asked, pointing at a door to the back room.

After entering and exploring for less than a minute, Kyle and Lyra were able to locate a back door to the building.

"Okay, once I open the door, there might be an alarm, so we gotta book it if that happens. Okay?" Kyle asked.

Lyra nodded. "Got it."

Kyle opened the door... but there was no alarm. This was good, since it did not signal their escape.

"Alright, let's get back to the car!" Kyle said.

With that, they took off. They made a rush back to the car in the park, checking their six constantly. But nobody was following them, from what they could tell. After running on adrenaline and pounding hearts for several minutes, they got back to the car, where Kyle dug his keys out of his pocket, fired up the car, and they were off, heading back home.

"Okay... that was crazy..." Kyle said.

"Tell me about it." Lyra said. "Come to think of it... I think we're a bit crazy!"

Kyle nodded, pursing his lips. "I think you're right about that."

They both looked at each other.

"Worth it!" they said simultaneously, laughing afterwards.

With their fun all over for the night, the two eventually made it back home, and took some time to settle down and cool off from their intensive enjoyment.