Author's Note

I want to thank some friends back home for supporting me with this story and I especially want to thank Kkat for allowing this wonderful opportunity for authors to expand Fallout Equestria.

Thanks for reading.

Prologue

Prologue

"What is it you're willing to fight for most?”

We all bear a burden on our journey. We are chained by our responsibilities, bound by our actions, and chastised by our damnation. Nopony can escape their burdens. Not the infant, the young, nor the old...Not even the dead.

In the war with the Zebra, countless millions perished who were not a part of the conflict. Those who survived rotted away, as did the land—a wasteland born of fire and death. Solitude, radiation, and starvation drove them mad, eating away at their mind like an incurable disease. They lost themselves, like ashes in the wind. Ashes in the sour air that flows over the scorched landscape. Some turned feral—beyond any means of reasoning. Others maintained a small sliver of who they once were as time went on. In the end, all are burdened by something: the mutants by their existence, and the raiders by the emotional consequences of their actions.

Most wars end with one side dominating the other. If only it had ended like that...if only. Neither side won on The Last Day; neither gave up. The war ended to the crescendo of each side’s weapons. Mutual annihilation—truly a mad concept. The bombs fell, and just like that, both the Equestrian and Zebra nations vanished in the necromantic fallout that taints the world today. If the leaders lived, knowing they killed countless innocents, did they feel remorse? Or, despite the cost, did they simply rejoice in the downfall of their enemy?

War...war never changes.

* * * * * *

The breeze felt great as it brushed through my short mane and tickled my feathers; fresh and inviting. The sun was so bright it blinded my eyes; warm and inviting. Nothing had ever felt so good to me. It was such a wonderful thought to be high above the clouds without the worry of the surface and its many dangers.

I sat there in the clouds off duty, my weight putting slight pressure on the puff of white as I looked up at the stunning light blue sky, I didn’t want to move. It felt like I could just sit here and let the blowing altitude winds carry my worries away. My ears perked to the sound of a name.

“Ward.”

My eyes blinked frantically at the call of my name and instead found myself sitting up on my bed. The voice shattered my fantasy. I looked around to see that my whole barrack was in a state of groggy routine with other pegasi getting up from their respective beds, pulling a towel over their necks, and leaving the room.

What I thought was clouds were my stiff barrack bed, the breeze being an air vent coming from the wall, blowing into my face when I turn around, and the sun being the bright lights that lit up a room of cold steel and old fuel pipes; lacking radiant warmth. Damn it.

I yawned and scratched my neck from a developing itch, but my heart soon jumped when I felt my neck was bare of my special something. In a panic, I looked for it. The panic almost turned to absolute fear as the seconds ticked by and I heart my heart thumping in my ears. Much to my relief, I found it under my pillow.

The object was round and smooth with a closed hook hanging onto a string that made a large loop. My talisman...

I smiled warmly at the beautiful crystalline gem and kissed it tenderly. Then carefully I bent my head forward and slipped the necklace over and around my neck. It sat there, resting against my chest, in front of my dog tags.

I gave it a soft couple of pats...right where it belongs...

Yes. I'm a soldier. It’s not by choice either, because most pegasi in my generation have also been drafted into the Sky Force, not that it wasn’t ever like that before as some would say. And the reason why I say most is the fact that not everypony down here is physically capable or determined enough to move on with the routine. Here in the bunkers, you either make it or you don’t. If you don’t...well I hope you like cleaning everypony’s shit from the tanks; that’s if the pipes don’t burst and squirt shit water in your face.

I groggily slipped out of my bed and stretched out my two-toned wings giving them a hard flap to wake them up. After two flaps, I left them open to see what they looked like for now. I found the feathers to be disorganized with some pointing any other way. They were so messy that a few loose feathers were already beginning to fall and softly fall toward the ground. With quick preening, I set my feathers back into presentable and organized rows of dark cerulean and baby blue.

“Fell asleep on us there, Ward?"

My mind snapped awake after a brief dozing to the sound of the voice from before. I looked to my right to see a pegasus stallion staring at me with a light smile and gray eyes.

“You know I can’t help it Typhoon," I replied irritably with a strained yawn. "If I didn’t have trouble sleeping I wouldn’t be sleeping with my eyes open every so often."

Typhoon. I can leave it to him to call me out of my dazes whenever the situation arises.

Typhoon's voice called me back into reality (there we go). By the time I noticed him trying to get my attention he already had a shower cloth around his neck and on his way to the showers. "You better hurry up, otherwise we'll miss out on breakfast."

"Yeah. You're right." I blandly responded as I grabbed my shower cloth and sluggishly trotted down the cold corridors to the showers which were starting to get moderately busy.

After the ‘refreshing’ wake up call and a quick drying, I went back to my barracks to open up the trunk at the foot of my bed in search of my uniform. Finding them and my A-2 flight jacket, I wasted no time putting them on as fast as I could. They were just as starchy as I remembered; nowhere near as comfortable as just wearing the jacket on your back. But regulation is regulation, and as much as I hate it, I have no choice.

Typhoon just entered the room as I straightened out the collar of my jacket over the dark gray uniform. I tried to be as quick as possible since lines to the breakfast system were piling on fast. Typhoon just finished putting on his uniform and jacket as he waited for me to get my collar right.

"You know, she’s going to love your look regardless." Typhoon joked as I got my collar just right.

I quit fiddling with my collar- leaving it the way it was and rushed past him with an aggravated look. He just had to bring something like that up. Oh! And to add insult to injury he’s chuckling! Hope you’re having a laugh bud because I’m not! Sonofabitch...

Throughout the cold, steel walls there were pegasi going about their own business. Maintenance fixing something, Enclave Security Force patrolling by twos, and groups of foals being led by one pegasus (typically a mare) to another part of the bunker. All this happening while the blasted intercom would be blurting messages into our ears, spreading messages about loyalty to the Enclave or calling out a name followed by where said pegasus was needed. Some with free time worked on the large murals across the blank steel walls with old paint cans and brushes at their sides as they worked at the wall. I stopped my dragging walk and turned to look at one of them as one of the Civis carefully traced a cloud swirl with a brush in her paint-splattered mouth.

Most of these murals were supposed to represent our history with clouds being a major part of it. Hell, there hasn’t been a single spot on a mural where I do not see some type of cloud painting. Those were also supposed to feel “as if we were all home.” Didn’t work for some of us, myself included, because steel walls, cold air, and dim lights were all we knew. Still, some of us could dream.

“Ward.” My thoughts collected and my head turned back down the hallway I was walking through. Typhoon was in front of me, looking at me before turning to look at the mural I stopped to look at. “They’re doing a good job at these things. Kind of livens things up a bit down here, don’t you think?”

“I guess,” I answered indifferently with another yawn. “If it works for others.” I mean, yeah they kinda do, but it’s just white on gray or gray on white on gray. Gray to represent painted cities or vehicles around these obelisks piercing through the painted white blanket of clouds, and all of that on the steel walls itself. Kind of monotone if you ask me.

A large, cold, and buried system of hollowed out steel and cement bunkers underneath the basis of an area known as Solitary Hills. Affectionately named “Sanctuary” by those of us who found it so many years ago. Built for exclusive ponies during the Great War, and even large enough for repopulation along with the standard commodities of living.

I was born and raised here, and as I became eligible I had to enlist in the Grand Pegasus Enclave Sky Force where I received combat, power armor, and flight training. It was not an option. It was duty, honor, and loyalty to The Grand Pegasus Enclave; if you had none of those it only meant one thing: You were a traitor.

When you got old enough, you were drafted like everypony in your generation. You make it within the 5-year limit, you were a permanent addition; if you didn’t, you’re fulfilling other duties along with the other ‘unfortunates’. You have a choice, but it will only cost you with branding. From there, whatever happens to you nopony will know. You’ll simply disappear, from what many of us noticed.

Hard to believe what they tell us on our history. ‘We are an advanced and powerful civilization,’ my ass. More than sure an advanced civilization wouldn’t be underground, in the dark scraping the bottom of the barrel. Far as I know we only have less than two hundred and fifty military personnel plus medical, engineering, civis, and scav teams to round it up to about five hundred, give or take. And despite all that...this place couldn’t feel a bit more empty save for what could be considered the ‘artery’ upper levels. Well, at least it’s not Stable-Tec.

My stomach growled loudly, pulling me away from my deep thinking and making me put a hoof to my belly to make it stop. Typhoon noticed and let out a smile, using one of his wings to shake me from my right shoulder. “Come on, bud, the line’s getting longer.”

I nodded my head and Typhoon turned around to walk down the hall. Realizing that I was falling behind I galloped for a brief moment until I was beside him.

We finally made our way to the mess hall which at the time was occupied with numerous pegasi from different directions as they scrambled to get their fair share of breakfast. We got most of our food from a small orchard near the center of the entire infrastructure. Farmed from our own shit even.

A quick line at the kitchen and a spent ration card later, I sat down next to Typhoon as I got my breakfast. Today's breakfast: ‘Oatmeal+’ and oranges with a hot cup of coffee. Yeah not that exciting at all. But hey, the plus is that they managed to pump the oatmeal full of other nutritional vitamins and minerals to keep a soldier going. Though the method of exactly ‘how’ they do that isn’t known. Even when it’s somehow possible they can't seem to make it taste any better; the extra stuff just made it seem like a gritty and watery mess in my mouth. At least the oranges livened the dish up a bit with some color.

"Just another bowl of the same slop, huh?"

The silvery voice came northward of where I was sitting. Typhoon and I looked over to the direction the voice came from. Gliding towards us down the open aisles between tables was a fine, slender mare wearing the same jacket as Typhoon and I. Her soft white coat, chocolate brown mane, and her lavender eyes would try very hard hypnotized me right where I was sitting. It would work a little better if I had the energy. Just waiting for the coffee to give it to me so I could.

"We can't complain about what's available, Aviatrix." Typhoon flatly stated as he turned back around to finish his meal.

Aviatrix. Pilot. My other best friend, and technically the first. Just seeing her was enough to brighten the dullness and boredom down here. Just watching her...I...I can’t stop my lips from wanting to curl into a smile. She was just...just...

"You OK, Ward?" She called out to me. I didn't respond, but when I came to I found myself vacantly staring down at the mush in my bowl.

"He didn’t sleep again," Typhoon spoke out for me as he finished his breakfast. "he'll be back in a moment."

I blinked my drying eyes and looked back up at Aviatrix still holding a concerned look on her face. "I remember saying you shouldn't worry about me, Avie." I calmly told Aviatrix with a raised brow. I flicked my head toward her bowl, "Oatmeal gets worse the colder it gets. Hurry up and eat it."

She giggled and cracked a pleasant smile at, what I assume, is the nickname. "I would have to say the same to you."

Aviatrix. Leave it to her to try and cheer me up, whether I needed it or not. Glad to see that she’s still holding up. That makes me happy inside. Sad I have problems showing-

"Ah-ten-SHON!"

The shout was so sudden I jumped up with the coffee burning my tongue, chin, and my chest all at once. Everypony in the mess hall jumped to the command and saluted with a forehoof to the head. Unfortunately for me when my mind was once again saved from slipping, I nearly choked on the long sip of the dark coffee and ended up spilling it all over my uniform.

I looked over to the entrance where the voice came from. I made out a Wonderbolt Elite as he stepped to the side to salute the upcoming officer in a sharp black uniform. I made out a middle-aged mare as her features were made clear as she slowly walked down the aisle giving a passing glance over nervous pegasi at attention. When she got close enough I found her wearing on one side of her chest an organized assortment of ribbons of many colors, and on the other side was a rectangular brass colored badge displaying her name: Diamond Dust.

Diamond Dust. General. Superior. One of the most well known Enclave CO's with a lot of experience under her barding. Fucking hell why is she here!? Here to ruin my morning?

“Listen carefully!” She instructed from where she stood. I noticed her panning the scene. “I want everypony in the Salvaging, Scouting, and Stormtrooper Divisions to meet in Briefing Hall 1A, here in Sanctuary, at 1200 hours for Assignment briefing. I expect all of you in those respective divisions to be there on time! No exceptions!”

Us? Why us? We’re never needed? There was an awkward pause and everypony still held their salute up. She hadn’t given the ‘at ease’ for us to drop it. The coffee was still stinging the parts of me it was touching.

“Is that clear!?” She finally opened her authoritative mouth to the hall.

There was an audible snap as everypony, still holding up their salute, went to attention. “Ma’am, yes Ma’am!”

She didn’t say anything more and nodded firmly, I saw her turn, take two steps, and then stop before turning back around. "Carry on with your breakfast!"

The chatter and commotion immediately resumed and we sat back down in our seats. Our table remained silent for a while so I took it upon myself to strike up a conversation. But first, I grabbed some napkins and tried wiping the coffee off my uniform. Then something came up: we were missing two of us. "Those two are gonna get it if they miss the meeting."

Not the best conversation starter but since Diamond Dust decided to drop a surprise visit it had me concerned. Anything involving that mare had me on alert. I mean, why wouldn't it?

"We'll worry about them later, Ward," Typhoon reassured me as he caught my words. He then took my tray with his wing. "When the time comes we will look for them."

"So..." Aviatrix tried to get into the conversation. "...how many ration cards you wanna bet Fallstreak is hitting it up with some mare somewhere?"

* * * * *

1200 hours, or 12:00 pm standard time. It had been a lazy few hours waiting for the time to come, even lazier for me considering I just don’t want to move. What I’d kill for a good night sleep. Can’t complain about it now, the best hope I’ve got is if we weren’t assigned a task. We never were assigned a task- only the Scav and Recon teams did while the rest of us wasted away here.

We followed the converging crowd down to the lower levels of Sanctuary into a room labeled ‘Briefing Hall A1.’ Wasn’t really a briefing hall to begin with; as a matter of fact, it was a repurposed atrium with a stage and rows of seats. There were never enough seats for one briefing hall and this bunker had more than enough atriums down on this level to go around. The ponies who built this place seemed to love open spaces.

This atrium was, in a word, packed. There were never enough seats. It also didn’t help that for some reason the briefing for three separate divisions were crammed into one.

Pegasi clamored about to get their seat. For Aviatrix, Typhoon, and it was a matter of finding a seat with the rest of the Stormtrooper Division. And just like a ‘ask and you shall receive’ gimmick, we found a pony saving out seat. Our squad’s Grenadier was holding our seats and he turned to look at us like he had a hunch. Loaded Gun.

To further confirm it was him he waved his hoof in the air toward us, and we were all quick to notice. We glided over the other pegasi and plopped on the hard plastic. We folded our wings in, nodded a ‘hello’ to L.G. and waited for the briefing to begin. It finally did when the officer from the mess hall raised his voice from behind all of us.

“Ah-ten-SHON!”

The audible rhythm of synced hooves clicking and uniforms brushing filled the atrium, and a colorful collage of multicolored hooves all around me snapped towards foreheads.

Down the open pathway came Diamond Dust, walking with a firm gait. Behind her were other high ranking officers that belonged to the Salvagers, Scouts, and Stormtroopers-Major General Virga being one of them.

When they made it to the stage, Diamond Dust (positioning herself at the front of the stage) panned the Atrium while the COs that accompanied her stood some distance behind her, waiting for the briefing to start.

“At ease!” Diamond Dust’s voice rank through the Atrium. The silence broke when the sound of hooves dropping filled in the emptiness following. That was also followed by the sound of pegasi sitting down in their respective seating.

“As you all know, I’ve called you all here for your assignments.” Diamond Dust started, stating the obvious for some memory jog. “ Today is a different day. This is due to the presence of the Stormtroopers in the room…”

Just like that, I swear I could feel heads turn and eyes focus on us. I got chills. “...minor details aside, your commanding officers will be giving out your assignments for today's Reconnaissance and Salvage. As your superior, I must remind you that all squadrons selected must follow protocol for the safety of our sanctum. We don’t want any more incidents that risk our exposure.”

There was muttering amongst the crowd, along with some ponies turning to talk to each other. When the muttering got a little too loud, hard authoritative stomps from the stage effectively quelled the growing voices.

“As I was saying, it’s all a matter of following protocol. Now is the time for your superiors to give you your assignments.” Diamond Dust stepped back and called up the rest of the COs. The first one to start speaking I assumed was the Salvagers CO. What’s his name? Clear Frost? I think.

He went about listing three squads to report for Salvage duty. Then came a mare who got three different scouting teams for their duties. Yup. Just briefing...

Then when I saw Major General Virga up there an overwhelming feeling of dread churned in my stomach. “3rd Stormtrooper Division, Squad A!” Oh fuck. “ Report to Hangar A for briefing at 1800 hours! Find your assigned pilot and be there!”

My thoughts, fuzzy as they were, tried to run on what the fuck just happened. All of a sudden they have a mission for us? And out of all groups, our group? Talk about luck of the draw. Fuck me.

“You heard your Commanding Officers,” Diamond Dust caught all of our attention. “ be there at your designated times; those of you who’ve been called. Do not disappoint your officers, and do not disappoint me. Is that clear!?”

“MA’AM, YES, MA’AM!” The whole room shot up from their chairs and shouted in unison.

We watched as Diamond Dust took one more observation glance, “Dismissed!”

* * * * * *

The meeting was over and we were outside the atrium and standing in a non-crowded area within the hall.

“Our first mission, how ‘bout that?” I said with a sweet/sour feeling in my gut.

“Can’t complain, Ward,” Typhoon told me, across from where I was. “Look at the bright side, at least we get to go someplace that isn’t here. That’s a change.”

I thought about it for a moment. Yup. Sweet and sour all at once. “ True. But why us? Don’t you think that? And out of all things why so late? Doesn’t anyone think that?”

“Who doesn’t?” he responded in maieutical manner. “But hey, the plus side is that it's going to be us out there. And you know what? It’s a change of scenery!” He smiled and looked at us before lightly patting his own chest with a hoof. “No matter what happens, we’ll have each other's back. Through thick and thin. Birds of a feather, remember?”

Couldn’t help but copy his gesture myself; the rest of us followed. Yeah, birds of a feather. I bent my head down to try and hold back a smile. Toughen up, Ward. I looked over to Aviatrix and noticed her noticing me curl my lip and gave a thoughtful smile.

Those words meant a lot to me. Like a lot a lot. Coming from Typhoon, and the smile from Aviatrix; together, although I don’t let it show, they gave me a feeling of warmth in my chest. After all, they are important to me. They were from the day I met each of them, and the feeling just...prospered from there.

“Speaking of all of us,” Aviatrix’s words knocked me out of my deep thought. “Has anypony seen Fallstreak?”

Realizing the subject at hoof, I looked around for that stallion she mentioned. To make matters worse, I don’t remember seeing him in the Atrium for the mission assigning either. Fuck me if he did it again…

“That stallion’s cock got a mind of its own,” Typhoon said with a sigh. “Well, who’s gonna find him this time?”

“I will.” I yawned without hesitation. My eyes felt weighed down. What I’d do for some rest. “I have a feeling on where he might be.”

Typhoon nodded. “Alright, go on and find him. Meet you in the mess hall after.”

I nodded my head as I turned tail down the dim lit corridors. I looked back briefly to see my squad stand there for a moment before making their way to the mess. And here I was trying to find that son-of-a-bitch. He’s gonna get it.

It took about 6 minutes to get to my barracks as I found myself facing the door. With a tap of a red button on the doors control panel, it slid open, allowing me access to the room.

My ears were immediately violated to the sounds of excited shrieks and whinnies; the sound of a bed frame shaking as its metal headframe violently tapped the wall it rested against. Even from my current angle I could see the dings on the wall with the light. Damn it! I had a feeling he would be here. Fallstreak.

Of course! If he wasn’t showing up for breakfast he was looking for a mare to munch on when the crowd surged for the mess. I swear, it’s all he ever thinks about! I’m wondering if pussy is all he eats!

"W-*pant* wait Fall..." Came a mare's voice from under the thrashing sheets. From the sound of her voice, she was trying to catch her breath before squealing with delight. "...somepony is here."

A pair of cream colored eyes peaked over the now calm sheets as they widened at the sight of me. Although there wasn’t a strict rule yet, it’s worth a scorn and cold overtone. The sheets ruffled again and this time a steel blue stallion sat up as the pink mare's eyes continued to stare at me.

"Can't a couple of ponies have some fun without an idiot barg -" as he turned to finish his sentence he choked on his own words to find I was the interrupter of their little ‘get together.’ He found me glaring at him with disappointment, “C-c-corporal Wind."

He scrambled out of bed as did the mare. Feathers both pink and steel blue flew around the area haphazardly as they tried to make themselves decent again. Some of the feathers got caught on the vent winds and blew toward my face. I sneezed in disgust. If I find any one of them with adhesiveness!

The mare had gathered up her belongings, gave me a passing glance and she walked passed me in a skurry. I can tell she was a lower rank than I so her feeling of concern was understandable. My glance grew sharper the longer she stayed in the room; a growl was enough to make her pick up the pace.

I walked past Fallstreak as I flipped open my trunk. I switched out of my coffee-stained uniform for another fresh pair. Felt better having clean wear on me. I realized the room grew awkward as Fallstreak kept up his silence.

"Got something to say, say it now." I commanded without looking at him. I’m getting really tired with this shit, always finding him with a mare making the beast on two backs. It’s sickening at this point with him. I fixed my collar and brushed my shirt off with my feathers to get rid of any debris.

"Well..." He tried looking for some way to explain what I witnessed. I could tell from his voice there was nothing to cover up what he was doing. "...it's just that I want to know...why you have to be like that, sir?"

"You expect me to try and figure out what you mean, Fallstreak?" I firmly established. He knew I didn't like to see him like this, and as a result, I'm pretty pissed, and that’s saying a lot given my irritable state right now. “Specific. Now.”

"Well..." he tried to get the words right yet again, "... what I meant was: Why did you have to ruin a good moment for me?"

Good moment? Good moment!? He’s had plenty of ‘good moments’ in such a short time, I don’t even know why he should even bother defending his position. It’s distracting, and not to mention the fact that I think it’ll accelerate inbreeding.

“You missed a mission briefing,” I told him as I fixed my barding. “The first we’ve ever had, and you miss it! All because of pussy!” I heard him stammering, and I focused my eyes on him with a swift and sharp head turn. I eyed his wears; he was a mess. More than a mess actually seeing his...member...still hanging out.

"Fix yourself up and let's go." I ordered after looking away before it blinded me. My ears picked up on the sound of barding ruffling and I turned around after it slowed down. His uniform was hastily put together, but at least he stuffed it back in.

With that being the case, I walked past him and he trailed behind me as I walked out the door. Silence still loomed over both of us and even somehow managed to drown out the ambient chatter in the hallway.

"You were at it all morning with that mare? Or was she one in a few?" I asked between my teeth, going back to what I saw. Now that my mind’s slugged gears started turning again for a moment, I began thinking of the former. It had to be true since I didn’t see anypony remotely resembling him leave the barracks this morning. Fallstreak didn't respond; a clear sign that he was guilty of my claims.

I slowed down, stopping right before the doors to the mess hall. I turned to have a chat with him for a while. I don’t want to have this bothering me later.

"Look Fall..." I monologed:

"… I understand that we are all still ripe in stallionhood and the Foal Boom has still been going on for a while, but I am just doing what is best for you alright? At least be glad I am just about to save your ass from getting written up for unscheduled breeding.”

“Yeah, sorry sir.” He said apologetically holding his hoof out expecting me to bump it. “I’ll do better at controlling the urge. I promise.”

I looked down at the hoof, and them back up at him pensively. Is he really sorry? Or is he just saying that so we can move on from the conversation? Wouldn’t be the first time, and no doubt it wouldn’t be the last. After I saw him crack a smile that spelled ‘worry’ across his face I gave in and bumped his hoof with my own, gently lifting a small smile.

“It’s Ward, ok? No more formalities when things resolve.” He’s always calling me ‘sir,’ almost like a nervous tick. “C’mon. I’ll make sure Typhoon gives you the rundown on the mission.”

He smiled back, a sign that everything's back to normal. It’s still in the back of my mind though. Like I mentioned: It wasn’t the first time he promised to try and control it. That was the main thing that pushed me into being ‘Corporal’ instead of my typical self. Either that or it’s just the agitation that makes it seem so. Hard to tell.

That brought up something I forgot to mention: The Foal Boom. Just about everypony who made it to the bunker had the idea of re-growing their numbers. Didn’t take long for everypony else to catch on with the same idea. This ultimately led to the ‘Foal Boom’ within Sanctuary, leading to regulation of population to ensure that we could all survive. Most don’t give a fuck about the rules and have at it anyway, no pun intended. With the Foal Boom in the making, the High Council instead began rearranging the army to suit the need and survival of the Enclave during these drastic times.

And a lot of good that did…

* * * * * *

The mess hall was just as noisy as ever. The line was shorter than the morning and we both were able to get our lunch in time. Looking for our table I caught a teal hoof waving in the air that belonged to Typhoon. I pushed my way through the cramming herd of pegasi and managed to get a seat at our table.

"Where was he?" Typhoon asked as he bit into his hard sandwich.

I took a swig of the tart processed cranberry juice seated on my tray. "Take a guess."

Fallstreak was beginning to look a little embarrassed as to where this conversation was leading. We all knew about his problem for sure. Because of that, everypony in the squad seemed to give him that look and he awkwardly went to looking down at his meal.

“How many times was it this month?” Aviatrix asked us regarding him. “How many times was he caught with a mare?”

“4 times,” I answered taking a bite out of the sandwich on my tray. Disgusting: Sweet apple jam with kale and synthetic cheese. Who in their right mind thought that it would be delicious? “Unless he was called for breeding then in which case it may be more.”

Aviatrix nodded subtly to my answer and let her eyes wander around the mess for a bit. She rested a cheek on a hoof and sighed, letting her eyes settle down on her tray while the rest of us ate our fill. “Speaking of breeding, any of you other stallions been called in?”

For some reason my stomach got hit with a blend of fire and ice from the inside. Partly because the message that came across seemed like it was reaching out to us (or me in this case) as a request while the subject just didn’t settle for some reason.

“I’ve been called in,” Typhoon said after finishing his drink. “Supposed to happen in about a day or two. Can’t remember exactly, I’d need to check the roster.”

L.G. just shook his head from the right of the table. He also looked embarrassed about the subject as I saw his brown cheeks glow a shade of red.

As for me...well, I didn’t want to answer. Not because I was on the breeding queue, but because I’ve been avoiding it for a while now. They don’t hunt me down, it just means that the nursery has one less mouth to feed. Don’t get me wrong, who doesn’t like the idea of sex, but it just doesn’t seem right to be thrown into a room with a random mare- one you might barely even know for that matter. That’s not what I want. I already know who I want, but I have my doubts. I feel I don’t need to explain who that mare is.

“Hey, Ward!” Aviatrix’s voice was loud enough to get me out of my drowsy thinking and back into the matter at hoof, not that I actually left it after all. My eyes blinked a few times again and I looked back at her in a manner of ‘what?,’ “Where are you in the queue?”

Staying true to my word I just cleared my throat and got back to forcing in the terrible sandwich and down the gullet. I shivered after I felt it hit my stomach and the taste filled my mouth like a thick fog.

“Come on, Ward,” Aviatrix pushed the subject onto me, and this time it felt like the whole squad was looking at me expecting an answer. “Is there at least some mare you’d be willing to make foals with?”

She just had to say it like that. Was it getting hot in here? I felt like I was roasting in my uniform right now.

“No,” I said trying to hide my feelings from them; her in particular. Would be awkward to say it here. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

I saw her give me a skeptical glance and smile, “That tells me something.”

Was it that obvious? Felt like I wanted to start sweating, and to add insult to injury my lower barding was feeling very uncomfortable. Keep it together, Ward. Started thinking some juice can turn down the heat.

“Ward,” Aviatrix looked at me with a squinted eye and grinned. Why was she looking at me like that? Why is she messing with her mane? “Are you...gay?”

Hearing that surprised me enough to have the juice go down the wrong pipe. I began coughing up a storm and the rest of the juice that didn’t make it down my gullet spilled all over my tray.

“I take it...that means ‘yes’?” she continued to push the question with that stupid grin. Now my emotions went from confused to downright anger with the need to set it straight.

“N-no!” I coughed out, feeling the warm, cranberry liquid come out my breathing tube from the back of my throat. “I’m not gay.”

“You’re gay, sir?” Fallstreak looked at me from my left. Fuck me, could he be any slower than I thought?

“I just said, ‘I’m not gay’!” This is exactly why I don’t like conversations like this! “Pay attention, damn it!”

“Easy, Ward.” Typhoon tried quelling my boiling anger. “It was just a question.”

“A question she was quick to jump at after I said I wasn’t!”

Aviatrix laughed. “Ok. Ok. You’re not gay.” Her laughter died down and she looked at me intently while still holding that smile. “Then you shouldn’t have a problem telling us: Where are you in the queue?”

I tried thinking about it in hopes to just get this topic blown over. I just don’t want to talk about it.

“I don’t know,” I answered with gritted teeth and a subtle head shake. Got to change the subject before I hurt somepony. “Can we just change the subject? Please? Before I have to get mad at all of you guys.”

“Alright, Ward.” Aviatrix complied. I saw her lean in a bit and flutter her eyes at me, giving me the most foalish smile I’ve ever seen. Why? “How about I put it like this: If you could be with any mare, who’d it be? Who’d be the lucky one?”

That wasn’t a subject change; she just dialed it back on the heat. And why the fuck is she even bringing this up? It was time to draw the line. This subject, plus whatever the fuck she’s trying to do, is making me want to sweat bullets.

“SUBJECT. CHANGE. NOW.”

“He’s blushing.” Typhoon pointed out with a small chuckle. That happened to get the attention of Fallstreak and L.G. who I felt both their sets of eyes focus on me.

“Just...shut up!” I tried taking control of the situation. Not only was I heating up like a ruptured energy cell, but I was having a hard time keeping myself together from the inside. I don’t want to share.

“Is it...me?” Aviatrix poked at me with the subject, fluttering her eyes with that stupid grin again. I think I’m already a shade of tomato red. Can I get any redder from hearing her say that? “I mean come on, I notice the way you look at me sometimes...” she leaned in a little closer, almost climbing up on the table. Is she really tantalizing me? Was I that obvious? I noticed the rest of the squad look at her with a kind of whimsical manner. “ What about that kiss at graduation? That must’ve meant something.”

The kiss? The kiss...The kiss. Now I remember. Damn. Thinking about it put a knot in my stomach and my cheeks to glow to the point where they almost burn. “I was 6 days without sleep,” I tried defending myself (rather weakly might I add) in the memory. “You say things when you're tired you know.”

She giggled foalishly, “Right… and some of those things are like what drunkards say when you give them enough. Am I right? Because the lock loosens, right?”

Fuck! Her voice was smoother than butter and playful in all ways. Maybe deliberately provocative? The closer she got to me from the top of the table, the harder my heart thumped. My wings wanted to flare out but shuttered in resistance. So many questions; so many emotions. I can’t take it!

“What’d I just say!?” I reiterated, adding more overkill by slamming a hoof on the table. Didn’t faze them, but it was the best thing I had before the truth came out. That escalated too quickly. “Just shut up!”

She laughed. Typhoon laughed. L.G. chuckled. Fallstreak was on the verge of laughing. For some reason, the feeling that I’ve somehow embarrassed myself rumbled in my stomach and threatened to come up out my mouth and into my head. I felt myself heat up again.

“Well, I tried.” Aviatrix said after her laughter died down. She retreated back to her seat and straightened her uniform out. She looked back up at me and smiled, resting her head on a hoof. “Guess it’s true. You can’t make a gay pony straight.”

FUUCK! They just have to reiterate that to me. And to add salt to the wound they’re laughing. The only thing I was able to do to defend myself gave them the old forehoof jerk; resting my right forehoof on my left knee joint, and striking a small uppercut with the left.

“C’ mon Ward, take a joke.” Typhoon tried reassuring me with a smile. “Don’t mean any harm.”

I looked at Aviatrix and she smiled friendly-like at me, then at Fallstreak beside me who also sported one of his own; past him was L.G. giving me a half smile. I slammed my forehead on the table, unable to take it all at once. I was wrong thinking that my sleepiness wouldn’t make a difference. It stung, then sharply traveled all the way to the back of my head. I was too tired to even react normally to it. All I did was give my best smile. Smile as I let my head rest on the table for just a moment.

I was letting it all sink in, and letting my tired mind wander a bit into the void. Their laughing, happy voices, and their nudges on my shoulders faded away for a moment. Thoughts most random seemed to creep their way into my head. Dozing off further into the familiar void, welcoming me like an old friend.