What Is This Place?

Chapter 10: The Misadventures of M&P (Matthew)

We kept walking towards Rarity’s Carousel Boutique, me and Rarity were having a small talk about fashion in our world while Peter was on the floor still agonizing. I explained how some people used XXL shirts while they are an M size and use shorts with chains and stuff like that. Rarity only responded with things like “how dreadful!” and “oh, the horror!”. Peter’s still massaging his crotch because of the pain.

After a short while, Peter finally calmed down, but apparently the pain was still there. I saw Carousel Boutique at about 200m away from us, and needless to say, I was relieved that the trip went on without any incidents.

“It still hurts, man!”

Well, almost without any incidents.

“Don’t worry Peter, at least anything else can go wrong.”

Just when I finished my sentence, someone called out “Hey Rarity!” I face palmed and made a mental note to remind myself to never say that again.

“Peter, get into the same position you were before! Someone’s coming!”

Peter started getting up, although somewhat slowly because of the pain he was still experiencing. “You don’t say...” We quickly got into the same position that we were before and waited. Rarity looked over the direction the voice came from, and waved with a smile on her face. Due to my position, I couldn't see who it was, since I was looking the other way and now it was too late to change my position. I could listen the footsteps (or, well, hoofsteps) coming closer, until they made a complete stop just in front of Rarity.

“Hey Rarity!” said the mysterious voice, “I just wanted to know how was that outfit doing. Is it done yet?” the pony, who I supposed was a girl, sounded a bit inpatient.

“Hello, dear. And no, not yet. You cannot simply expect me to repair something I know nothing of so easily, can you?”

“Yeah, but I really want to know more about that outfit and of the creatures that used to wear it!”

“I know, and I must say it is exciting to repair something so old, but these things take some time.”

“Okay then...” She sounded a bit dissapointed. “By the way, what is it that you’re carrying there?” I could listen to her walking around me. She halted just in front of Peter, who was beside me, and from the corner of my eye I could see a turquoise unicorn, with something that appeared to be a lyre as her cutie mark. I immediately recognized her to be Lyra.

Oh no, I thought, of all the ponies we could’ve encountered while in our human self, we had to find the crazy human lover!? I was getting paranoid, but I quickly shook those thoughts out of my head. No, no, no. That’s just the personality the fandom has given her. Just because the fandom says she has an obssession with humans doesn’t mean it’s true. For all I know she could be a perfectly normal pony from Ponyville.

“Oh my gosh!” She exclaimed, “Are those humans!?”

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

She was jumping around me and Peter excitedly, examining our every detail and squealing like a fangirl every 3 seconds. “Oh my gosh! I knew they were real! It wasn’t just a legend!”

“Whatever are you talking about?” said Rarity, still trying to cover us up, “These are just mere interpretations of what a sculptor thought these creatures would look like. I just bought these statues, and I plan to take them to my house.”

Lyra, who seemed to ignore every single word Rarity said until now, perked up. “Rarity, what are you talking about? These are totally real! Every detail is almost exactly as how my books say they are!”

“Well, Lyra, maybe the sculptor just read the same books as you and made these masterpieces?”

“No, no. They just seem too real to be statues!” She threw her hooves on the air to emphasize her point. “I mean, look! The hair!” She proceeded to ruffle my hair a bit, which is a shame since I really liked how it came out in the morning. “The ears!” She started wiggling Peter’s earlobes. “The lips!” She pulled my lips a little too much, to a point that it really REALLY hurt. Then, her hoof started going down, and I thought she was going there “And he even got the...”

Oh no, here it comes.

“...hair on the legs right!” She started pulling the hair of my legs from a hole in my jeans. After that, she stopped pulling my hair and retired her hoof off the hole and started going up. “And woah! He even got the...”

I’m pretty sure she’s going there now...

“...belly button correctly!” She lifted my shirt a bit and started playing with my belly button a bit, which I have to admit, was a little funny and somewhat cute.

After a short while, she stopped, and walked towards Rarity. “They feel so real too! They’re not made of stone, it’s almost as if they were actually made with real skin, but that might just be really good stuffing.”

Rarity left out a nervous chuckle. “Why, yes, my dear. Whoever made these must be a real genius.”

Lyra was excited still, but she seemed a little disappointed. “Well, then I guess they are really statues of some sort, if you’re telling me they are.” She let out a sigh. “Well then, I will have to continue my search somewhere else, won’t I? Maybe the outfit I found will fit one of these.”

“But that outfit you gave me looked like it would only fit a woman,” responded Rarity.

“I guess the rebirth or the comeback of a human here in Equestria will never be possible..” Rebirth or comeback? I will have to ask about that later... “Well then, I’ll be leaving now...” and she left alone, in her world of sorrow without humans. Once Lyra was out of sight, Peter asked Rarity if we could walk for a while, since he couldn’t feel his feet anymore.

“I can’t feel my feet anymore...” uttered Peter.

“Oh, sorry darling. I’ll let you down now,” responded Rarity, and true to her word, she let us down. “I hope you don’t mind walking to my boutique, since it’s not too far away from here.”

“You know what?” Peter let himself fall to the ground, and yawned. “I’m just going to lay here for a while...”

“Dude, it’s not even half past noon...”

“I know, but I need a nap after eating.”

“But you havn’t eaten anything!”

“Well buck you too. FINE! Let’s go.”

After a short walk, we arrived at Rarity’s house. She unlocked the door and let us in.

A/N: Sorry about the relatively short chapter, fellas! I'll probably add the next one later today or sometime around tomorrow. Hopefully.