“Once upon a time there was a pony named Happy Dayz, a mighty earth pony stallion who had many wondrous adventures under his belt. With his mighty brawn, and quick wit he had defeated many adversaries. Such as the dreaded Dust Bunnies who terrorized Princess Sunbutt for months, the evil Might-Be-A-Hamster that stalked Princess Moonlicker every night for years, and even the most dreadful of all evils. Mr. Naptime, who was planning on plunging the Princesses into an eternal sleep.

“But then one day, while near the Badlands investigating stories of a band of candy stealing monsters. Who also had the bad habit of stealing everyponies left horseshoes. He took an upvote to the knee.

“Where he fell into a ravine where angry spider monkeys stuffed jelly beans up his plot and threw garbage at his head. Because everyone knows that spider monkey’s are made of hate, black liquorice, and anti-kittens,” Discord finished with a grin as he slunk back and picked up a bag of popcorn to watch what his actions would unfold.

Next up was Celestia, who looked at Discord with a raised eyebrow,”But just as things looked bad for our intrepid adventurer -”

“That’s redundant!” Discord yelled.

“Doesn’t matter. We were quite when it was your turn, so where were we .... Ah-

“But just as things looked bad for our intrepid adventurer, the pretty pony princess Moonlicker appeared and chased off the Spider Monkey’s and teleported the jelly beans out of his unmentionables-”

“That’s his plot,” Discord interrupted rudely.

“And said, ‘Oh brave knight, what matter of tragedy has befallen you-”

“Like her ugly mug,” Discord interjeted.

“Shush, let’s wait until it’s a good time to make a comment. Otherwise it loses it’s impact,” Luna whispered, “That and she’s talking about best princess.”

“I quite disagree. But we’ll try it your way.”

“As I was saying …” Celestia huffed, “what matter of tragedy has befallen you? She asked, while casting a scanning spell on Happy Dayz. Upon pulling out the upvote, who by the way was only an innocent victim, noticed a curse was placed upon the both of them. ‘Oh poor knight I’m afraid that you and this upvote have been cursed!’

“‘How do I break it?’ asked Happy Daze.

“‘’If you wish to break this curse. First you must go on a quest to find Anti-Santa and Queen Bugbutt. Only by defeating them will you break the curse and save Hearth’s Warming.” Celestia wrapped up.

“After thanking Best Princesses in the History of Ever. The wounded Happy Dayz stumbled carrying around the cursed upvote that was heavy and smelled like Sun Butt’s attempt at cooking -”

“Harumph! See if I try making you sweets again,” Celestia huffed.

“You call those sweets? They nearly killed the guards who gazed upon them. The only upside is that unlike your attempts at knitting, they didn’t drive a nation into insanity,” Luna countered.

“But … you said that the socks were your favorite,” Celestia sniffled as her eyes grew moist.

“If only to keep you from asking why I never wore them. And had them sealed up in an alternate dimension that spawned Discord’s current residence.”

“Fine! See if you get anything for Hearth’s Warming this year,” Celestia pouted.

“It can’t be any worse than your cooking, your last attempt even after seeing the near death of the guard, ended up in the hospital for a week after trying just a nibble,” Luna sniped before starting again, “which is to say the upvote was revolting in ways that broke reality. Summoning a fierce Changeling-shaped mecha. That was piloted by an eviler version of Queen Bugbutt. And had the ability to shoot changelings out of it’s nose and cotton candy lazers out of its eyes.

“Knowing he was in danger he jumped a landshark, and used his power over animals to summon a ninja-penguin to escape on … unfortunately ninja-penguins are weakened when not near snow, nor fish. And it exploded with him on it. Sending him hurling into the Ghastly Gorge where the Changeling Mecha caught up to him.

“And much like Sunbutts cooking, could only mean that catastrophe was soon to follow,” Luna wrapped up. Followed by a rather painful sounding rumble from her stomach, “It’s a miracle that you haven’t killed Twilight with your cooking … even as an immortal alicorn I’m sure your cooking could be the one thing to kill any immortal.”

At this point Celestia teleported away leaving behind a massive heart wrenching wail as her poor, adorable, ancient heart. Was broken by her sister’s remarks.

“Well she’ll be back. So who goes next?”

Twilight responded by mewling weakly as she searched to where her adorable warmth went off too. Cadance being the ever supportive and loving sister that she was snuggled up to her and gave her a shake. To which Twilight wisely replied, “Free pancakes for everyone! Now Spike write down this message … Crepes are evil, lying pancakes and only real pancakes shall enjoy happiness in the kingdom of Pancakeville.”

“We’ll try again later. So I guess I’m up next … also Luna, you should apologize. I know how much effort Celestia puts into the various gifts and snacks she makes for ponies she loves. And usually the more catastrophically lethal, or could throw reality into utter destruction it is. The more she loves that pony. Next time she makes you something just do what me and Twilight do and cast a Poison Removal spell as well as a Reality-Heal All spell.”

“Fine … I’ll apologize when I feel like it, and only if she apologizes for nearly killing me with her moon cakes. Moon cakes are not made out of the moon, nor are they supposed to turn to cement in one’s stomach. As for the whole sock comment earlier. I have amassed a collection of socks that could destroy Equestria if they ever fell into the wrong hooves. All because my sister thinks twenty fourth dimensional geometry looks pretty and weaves it into three dimensional space.”

“Well, we’ll talk about that later. Now as for the story,” Cadance said as she got into the proper mindset for the story, “So as all hope seemed lost the adorable Princess-In-Training Glitter Sparkles the Cuteness crashed mightily in the fierce mecha. Sending it flying into the horizon. As she shakily stood up she yelled, ‘I totally meant to do that! It definitely wasn’t because I haven’t learned to punch gravity into submission yet!’

“Happy Dayz looked at his savior and exploded twice into kittens, rainbows, and confetti. Only to be reformed completely alright. Which was normal for those who gazed upon Glitter Sparkle’s adorable acts of accidental wonton destruction. ‘Your liege, I am most glad for your assistance in saving me. But you must help me find this universes Queen Bugbutt and Anti-Santa. For only they can uncurse me and this innocent upvote. Which most definitely doesn’t smell like Sunbutt’s cooking for I have yet to end up in the hospital from organ explosions, implosions, or Spontaneous Organ Petrification disease.

“‘Could you assist me on my quest?’ our intrepid adventurer asked. Now our princess in training, might have been helplessly oblivious to such things as love, the emotions of other equines, or the fact that you don’t actually make out with books. But she had a keen sense of when others were in trouble, and loved helping others.

“‘Of course brave knight. We shall set forth at once, and if we run into trouble I can blast it with a face full of friendship. Which everyone knows is the secret to magical death lasers!’ So fixed up, and refreshed they set upon their journey.” Cadance concluded.

“Alright, now to tell the story right. Unlike princess Quickie Mart over there,” Chrysalis said looking at Cadance’s shiny posterior.

“Hey! There’s nothing quick about me!” Cadance yelled, before recognizing what she just galloped into, “Wait! I mean-”

“Not so quick on the uptake, but it’s good to admit you’re the slow one of the group. Now as I was saying,” Chrysalis said with a Celestia Cake Eating grin, “But little did Happy Dayz know that his savior was a ruse. For Queen Bugbutt, who’s butt was so sexy that she had to hide her true form lest mortals swoon over it’s majesty. Was disguised as the no good clothes theif, Wanna-be Princess Glitter Sparkle.

“‘So … do you know where to go?’ Happy Dayz asked as they wandered deep into the Badlands. To which the super attractive, and super skillful Queen replied, ‘Oh but of course sir Goat Sniffer … or was it Dirt Clopper? I can never get your kinds names right.” And of course Happy Days suspected nothing because ponies are only as smart as Hayburgers. But twice as fattening.

“But he had the audacity to correct his better. Too which the Queen smacked him like a disobedient drone. Then hit him with a rock, ‘INSOLENCE!!!’ The queen yelled. After all ponies are known to love yelling at things. After all they yell Celestia’s and Twilight’s name enough during their climax. Or when indignant to stealing their loved ones for food and returning them mindless husks.

“And Happy Dayz was no different. He had that glow about him that was tasty to munch on, and when he least expected it. She threw him in a cocoon to devour his love and then his VERY SOUL!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!” Chrysalis laughed as drool dribbled out of her mouth.

“What is it with you and food?” Cadance asked looking slightly nauseated.

“What! I’m hungry! After what you and your kind did to my brood, I haven’t had a decent meal. Especially with Twilight stealing all my happy fun time uniforms and roleplay outfits.”

“Wait … so you mean all the “discounted” things she uses in bed were stolen from you?”

“YES!!! And it took me ages to make those!”

“Oh … well, I can say that Twilight has been using them as intended. Also you are quite skilled at sewing,” Cadance admitted.

“Of course I am. I’m a Queen of nymphomaniacs and empathavours. Of course I’m skilled in many talents.”

“Now it’s your turn Pinkie,” Discord chuckled gleefully. The smile he saw when Luna and Celestia had their verbal sparring never having left his face.

“Nope, the story isn’t close to being done yet. I’ll have my turn when it’s time,” Pinkie replied before pulling a still crying Celestia out of her mane, because Pinkie Magics, and tossed her like a paper airplane to Luna. Who was now being drenched in tears and sisterly guilt.

***

“So now it’s my turn again, wonderful! Simply wonderful, and might I say that your story is a great sacrifice to Bacon Neckbeard. So now let’s get part two underways,” Discord said with a grin on his face, “When Happy Days was placed into the changeling pod the curse upon him summoned the upvote to once again peirce him. This time in the stallion boob, with such force that the pod exploded and sent his body flying.

“He flew far and wide, on fire, and landed into a building housing orphans, orphaned kitties and puppies, as well as old ponies who were loved and respected by the community. And burnt them all to death, with their screaming, napalm bodies being thrown throughout Equestria lighting the nation aflame. Then the cursed knight Happy Dayz stumbled out of the wreckage and saw the horrible fate that he visited upon the nation he loved.

“Only for Anti-Santa to whisk him away on his magical sleigh flew by demon-pony possessed Spider Monkeys. But alas that wasn’t the worst of things. The curse had started to turn him to part pony-part jelly bean. And was starting to spread slowly throughout his body.”

Celestia was busy being comforted by a now thoroughly drenched and awkward feeling Luna when Discord’s turn ended,”There, there … Sister-mine. It’s your turn to tell the story.”

“But I don’t want to, you’re just going to turn it into something else I’ve wrecked. Like that time you wrote about how I was the worst sister ever, then turned into Nightmare Moon when I went to confront you about it,” Celestia cried.

“By Starswirl’s Skanky Balls! Get ahold of yourself sister! I apologized for that already, and you know that I forgive you for almost killing me and most of Equestrian’s defenses on accident. So accept my apology and be happy!” Luna yelled.

“But you didn’t apologize,” Celestia sniffled.

“I did so. I said I was sorry for being blunt with my honesty, and that I forgave you.”

“So you really don’t like the things I do for you?”

“I would appreciate it if you learned how to do it in a way that didn’t skirt armageddon every time, or end up in injury, illness, or new types of super diseases and maladies when you try.”

“Fine! I’ll tell my part then,” Celestia sniffled flying limply over to Twilight where she snuggled her tightly, while resting a wing on Cadance’s shiny flank. “So! Where were we? Oh yes! So Happy Dayz was whisked away to Anti-Santa’s evil lair where he worked to ruin Hearth’s Warming for fillies and colts like certain mean little sisters that I won’t dare mention.”

“Hey! You can’t still be mad. I apologized, and was like … 95% genuine.”

“What was the other 5 %?”

“I don’t know indigestion from your latest attempts at cooking?”

“So anyways! The meany mean-pants was in fact working with Princess Moonlicker, who had captured the real Princess-In-Training Glitter Sparkles the Cuteness. And was working on building a device to drain her of her cuteness and princessly powers. To harness for the power of EVIL!” Celestia finished with an empathic yelled.

“No MARSHMALLOWS! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!” Twilight yelled as Celestia’s declaration of evil had shaken a random, dream induced statement from her, “now how will the pink jelly bean make a rave for me.” Twilight finished in a near mumble before falling back to sleep.

“So … great! Now all I can think about is evil marshmallows and why a pink jelly bean would make a rave for Twilight,” Celestia mumbled completely derailed by Twilight’s comment.

Pinkie for the sake of fair play gave Celestia the most dangerous of answers, “I can tell you, but you’d need to peek into my head for the answers.”

“All right, it can’t be that bad,” as she gazed into Pinkie’s mind to unravel the mystery. Immediately wishing she hadn’t, “Alright, that explained absolutely nothing, and now I have even more questions than answers.

“But I think I have a good starting point at least. So anyways, Princess Sunbutt flew into the cavern, and magically teleported Happy Dayz and Glitter Sparkles the Cuteness into a world filled with sentient candy. Whose only desire to was to be eaten by others. That place being the only safe place the princess could think to send them before fighting Anti-Santa and her sister in order to get the counter curse, as well as learn why they did that dastardly thing to Happy Dayz and the poor innocent upvote.”

Luna grunted, “Great, make me the villain out of the blue. See if I give you a super special birthday present,” Luna muttered before starting, “Fine I see how it is,” Luna stated.

Discord of course was squeeing at ultrasonic frequencies, when Luna finally started her turn, “The battle between the three would take it’s own story to make and would be so magical and awesome that it would blind all mortals who read it. For what Sunbutt didn’t know was that she was secretly infiltrating Anti-Santa’s workshop to steal her power for her own. Then make her sister her slave forever. Wearing that cute maid outfit that she never lets her borrow, even though it is enchanted to make the wearer a thousand times better in bed.

“Not that Princess Moonlicker has problems in bed, but it’s unfair for her sister to have all the advantages, and brag about them non-stop. Totally ignoring her sister’s lack of love life or happiness.”

“Luna-” Celestia started to say, but was cut off.

“So instead of trying to win a rigged game, she decided enough was enough, and would become once again more magical than her. So she could net herself a marefriend, or a colt friend, or even one of the legendary, but so far unconfirmed mare-stallions. Who have the best of both worlds.

“She then ripped Happy Dayz and Twilight … I mean Glitter Sparkles from their safe haven. And sped up the curse on Happy Dayz, before throwing him into the burning world to suffer, and tossed the upvote at him to add insult to injury. Then made out with Twilight, I mean Glitter Sparkles, whom she had a crush on. But was too awestruck by hero worship to see that she was the better Princess. As well as better for her … despite the whole kidnapping thing. Which she only did because Twilight Sparkle has a thing for being kidnapped and rescued. I mean Glitter Sparkles does.

“And for extra measures she unveiled Anti-Santa who was really Celestia’s … I mean Sunbutt’s hidden darkside made manifest. After millennia of being emotionally and sexually repressed. And it was that side that wanted to kidnap Glitter Sparkles for taking so long to get of legal age so she could bang her.” Luna huffed while blushing profusely.

“So the rumors from the Guards of you dancing with a Twilight plushie were real!” Chrysalis yelled in surprise.

“Well you are secretly a crazy cat lady!” Luna countered.

“LIES!”

“Actually Shiny told me about the massive scrap book filled with cat photos with adorable little text you added to them. And how that instead of sex, you wanted to show off your pictures. While trying to talk him into letting you bring over your hundreds of cats over to live with you.”

“LIES! LIES I TELL YOU! I am a creature of pure evil! I don’t have pictures of super adorable felines that you just want to cuddle, and snuggle, and give little kitty kisses too,” Chrysalis replied.

“Not according to your dreams, or Shining Armor’s memories.”

“Filthy Earth Pony lies! And no proof you have can say otherwise. It’s not like I actively save kittens from Griffon pounds, or Gouxian restraunts. Nor go to Stalliongrad to resuce them from the cold, unforgiving streets. Then shower them with toys, and love. After all if I could love something other than myself I’d have turned into those creepy, ugly, bug ponies like that traitor Throax.”

“Yeah … I never got how that worked either.”

“I know! After all the love I gave to my children, it just goes to show that I’m a monster that I am still my adorably beautiful self.”

“Keep telling yourself that Queen Bugbutt,” Cadance shuddered.

“But it’s true. These holes have many purposes that ponies love, and kittens find full of joy … not that I’d know the last part of course. I’m just assuming from how awesome my holes are.”

“Ahuh! So it’s now my turn,” Cadance said with a grin.

“Actually we should let Twilight tell some,” Celestia said taking her eyes off her sister. Giving a knowing look at Cadance she said, “Should we?”

“Alright, I got the dock, if you get the wings.” And with that, Cadance gently bit on Twilight’s dock above her tail, while Celestia gently bit between her wings. All of the sudden Twilight’s wings shot out, her Alicorn Seatbelts popped out, and the room was filled with glitter.

“Huh! What! Spike what did I tell you about my special alicorn parts!? … Spike?” Twilight asked looking around. And only now noticing the others around her.

“Where’s Spike at?” Twilight asked.

“Why do you think Spike was here?”

“Because the room is filled with Glitter, and I feel like I missed out on one of his special raves with Pinkie and Rarity.”

“Special Raves?” Cadance asked.

“Yeah, those three go into his room. There’s loud thumping and shouts, then in the morning it’s all glittery, and it smells funny … also it’s super sticky.”

“Um … Twilight, I don’t think that’s a rave,” Cadance hesitantly replied.

“But that’s what they call it, and they say they keep forgetting to invite me because I’m usually to busy.”

“Ha!! The overgrown lizard is getting lucky with those two!” Chrysalis laughed, “That’s too rich! I bet I could get full for a week just being there for five minutes.”

“No stealing Spike’s love. You already stole enough last time,” Twilight angrily replied with a glare before her yawn ruined the tension, “Why’d you wake me up anyways? I was having a nice dream.”

“Well we’re telling a story and we thought you’d like to … Twilight are you asleep?” Celestia commented.

“Nu-huh, just seeing eye movies. I’m totally awake,” she replied. “So Mecha-Happy Days, turned into a pony out of the power of true love. Because that’s how princesses are made. Celestia told me so after my coronation before she popped all my cherries. With whipped cream and then Cadance popped in with a cake strap on. And they showed me the power of true love.

“So he became a pony, and then Princess Sparkle Glitter Flutterhuggles, booped him on the nose. So he wouldn’t give into his old robot programming and enslave the world. And it totally wasn’t gross like the time Pinkie misfired her kitten-snuggles launcher and got a kitten stuck up my filly bits.

“Then Luna had to save it, but Spike came in and threw up and ended in a coma. Then Pinks and Rares figured out that Spike is a prince, legally. So they knew that kissing a princess woke them up from ancient curses. So they made out on his body, waking him. Then they all became special ponies!

“So Happy Dayz, was so happy to not be an evil mecha, that he became a giant super pony. And punched his evil twin brother Changeling Mecha into the sun, where it melted … oh! And then Sparkle Glompers the Adoracuteness used her princessy magicss to heal all the burny thingies. And then ate the upvote, to make it a happy marshmallow in her tum-tums … *snore*” Twilight had rambled before passing out.

Chrysalis just stared at her with her jaw open. A look that she had the second Twilight started spilling dirt on the two blushing ponies snuggled against her. “I think you broke her,” Pinkie said as she waved her hoof before Chrysalis’s face which was frozen in place. As well seemingly petrified her to the spot. “So we can officially declare her KO’d.”

“So the next pony is Cadance,” Pinkie replied.

“Hold up, hold up, that’d be unfair for the order of things.” Discord interjected, “We can’t let the upvoters have more of a story chance than the rest of us!”

“All right, that sounds fair. And it’d be pretty hard to top the stuff coming out of Twilight’s mouth. Kind of like it’d be hard to top your collection of Fluttershy memorabilia amirite Dissy?”

“Two things, one don’t call me Dissy. It’s undignified. Second, it’s not a collection. I’m merely preserving the adorableness that is Fluttershy. You know for reasons. Now it’s your turn to wrap things up oh Pink One!”

“So, as Happy Days looked upon the now restored world, and him strangely being retroactively a mecha, and then a pony again out of nowhere. He woke up, only to find out that it was a dream all along made by Santa-Cyborg-Zombie-Pony Jesus the III to understand why ponies love. Then as he went to punch him, he woke up again. Remembering that everything that happened was real, and that he just passed out from mental overload … or did he? DUN DUN DUN!!!!”

“Wait you’re ending the story on a -” Celestia started to interject before Pinkie finished for her.

“Cliffhanger!”

Author's Note

Now the next chapter I think I'll make pretty special. With an FAQ. You can ask a question to any character. And the ones that grab their fancy will be answered. (And later on after that chapter if more people ask questions. A new chapter will be uploaded.).

And of course there is one official end chapter. Depending on who wins. Have a good day, and I look forward to seeing if this story can indeed get the massive flood of upvotes or downvotes this little thought experiment was made for.