Team Fortress 2. Equestria's Robot Invasion.

Team Fortress 2. Equestria’s Robot Invasion.
Chapter 6. Property Damage.

Ten minutes had passed since Princess Celestia had escorted the stranger to her throne room, but no words were spoken yet. She was literally blown away by this creature’s mustache. It was that amazing.

The man snapped his fingers to release Celestia from the hypnotizing powers of his mustache. “Don’t worry, I get that a lot.” He said.

“Yes… yes. So, tell me your name, visitor.” Celestia replied.

“Saxton Hale, Human, Australian, CEO of Ma-” He was interrupted.

“Yes, you mentioned that already. Just the name is fine. Mr. Hale, is it?”

“Please! Mr. Hale is my father! Call me Saxton… Hale!” He replied while shouting.

Celestia facehoofed. “Fine, Saxton Hale. Tell me, what brings you to our world?” She asked.

“Ah, yes. That’s a story full of action, drama, romance, and plenty of gore! It all started one faithful day when I was skinning a crocodile. I was four years old at that time, but then those damn British cyborg-kangaroos attacked! I had a Bowie-knife, of course, but true men only let their fists do the talking! So I leapt into the air and p-” Saxton Hale was cut off there.

“Could you perhaps just tell me the short version? I have a kingdom to rule here.” Celestia asked, clearly annoyed.

“Ah, My apologies! But you can’t decline a man for looking back at his beloved memories.” Saxton pinked away a small tear.

Celestia didn’t know how to react so another awkward silence followed.

“Ah yes, the reason why I’m here… Merasmus the Magician and Helen accidentally transported their entire supply of wimpy robot-mercenaries here. The guys dressed in gray that are all around your capital, you know!” Saxton said.

“Yes. Their presence here in Equestria is… unsettling. I’d like to dispose of them as quickly as possible.” Princess Celestia replied.

“Of course! But don’t be alarmed. They’re all designed by the Mann Co to be child-friendly. They won’t attack or harm any target smaller than Scout, unless provoked of course.”

“And how can we… get rid of them?” Celestia asked.

“Crush them, one at a time. Which brings me to my next point. Not just these harmless robot-warriors have invaded this lovely world. Oh no! There is also a group of true men. The BLUs! Their determination to complete their goal is beyond normal levels. I even slightly admire those guys for their guts!” Saxton could only speak with pride of the former Mann Co employees.

“Alright, then who are these BLUs?”

“Mercenaries, nine of them, all specialized in their own unique way to deal with any situation. More than fifty years of war-experience made them extremely violent, insane and unpredictable.”

“Goodness! That doesn’t sound good at all.” Celestia replied worriedly.

Saxton just laughed as manly as he was able to. “Ha! Better get used to it, because they’re going to be staying here for a while!” He stated.

“What?!”

“Those great men will provide Equestria their services for a limited time. They will single-handedly destroy every dirty robot that dares to show its face. I assure you, they’re professionals!”

“I don’t care. I find the very idea of nine murderers living in our kingdom despicable. I won’t allow such a thing to happen.” Celestia said

“I see… Then how are you going to get rid of the robots, hmm?” Saxton asked.

“You said yourself that they’re not dangerous at all. The Royal Guard’s should be able to take care of it. And if that’s not enough, my sister and I will take action ourselves.” Celestia said.

“Alright, why don’t you try?”

“… What are you hiding, Saxton Hale?”

“Hmm, you’re smart, as predicted. Yes, the truth is that you’re all unable to get rid of these robots. You’ll be able to destroy them, sure. But these robots are built with Australium and powered by Merasmus’s magic. They’ll be able to infinitely rebuild themselves over time. Only licensed weapons built by the Mann Co are able to stop them indefinitely.”

“So the ones that you’ve crushed with to bits earlier with just your bare-hands will come back as well?” Celestia asked. Surely, there must be a flaw in this ridiculous logic.

“They’re fists. And no, I’ve punched those guys into oblivion. I’m slightly… superior.” Saxton explained humbly.

“Ah. That makes perfect sense. But I still don’t like the idea of these nine unstable outsiders residing in Equestria. It just sounds like something simply waiting to go wrong.” Celestia sighed.

“Hehe. The BLUs have actually already arrived in Ponyville several hours ago. Surely, if something went wrong there, your faithful student Twilight Sparkle would have let you know, wouldn’t she? Just trust the BLUs, that’s what I decided to do.” Saxton informed.

“How… do you know so much about us?” Celestia asked, slightly concerned that this guy was a stalker or something.

“Oh, that’s simple. You’re all figments of a person’s imagination created for a television show for kids that’s enjoyed by all ages. We’ve all been able to watch the ponies’ adventures for quite a while!” Saxton stated bluntly.

“That sounds ridiculous… Do you expect me to believe such a thing?” Celestia responded.

“What if I told you… that I was just created by someone’s imagination as well in a completely different universe.” Saxton said with a mysterious tone.

“You’re confusing me more every second now.”

“And what if I told you… there was one crazy guy that smokes way too much weed that decided to take these ideas, throw everything together, and randomly toss in some robots at the last moment to expand the lifespan of this story!”

“What story? What are you talking about?!”

“Hmm… yes. Maybe it’s irrelevant. But I think I’ve made my point clear. The BLUs are staying here until I’m able to fix everything back home.”

“What exactly needs fixing?” Celestia wondered.

“Ah, yes. The BLUs goal is to eventually be able to live their lives the way they intended it to be. Back to the old good times, where more than enough blood was spilled every day. But for that they’d need a special device constructed by one of the mercenaries that’s been taken away from them. A device named the Respawn, something that would allow them to recreate their bodies each time that they’ve died.” Saxton explained.

“That sounds like you’re playing god.” Celestia concluded. “Who would want such a thing?”

“For some people… fighting is all they have. Don’t take that away from these brave men. I will return to my own world now in order to retrieve the Respawn as soon as possible, while the BLU will remain here cleaning up the robot invasion. You’ll be grateful in the end, and surely it will become interesting.”

“Fine, I will allow them to stay here. But one mishap could end up very unfortunate for all of them. As long they’re living in our kingdom, they’re required to abide by our rules.”

“Yes, I understand. Don’t worry, the BLUs are mighty fine fellas. I’m sure they’ll obey! Those REDs on the other hand… or was it the BLUs? I can’t quite remember.” Saxton sighed.

“How long will it take for you to return with this strange device?” Celestia asked.

“Ah, yes. Unfortunately, the Administrator sold the Respawn to a group of wealthy business-ninjas in the east. It won’t be an easy task retrieving it, but I will return in due time to keep in touch and provide valuable information.”

“Good. Is there anything else then?”

“Yes, three more things. We’ve had many designs for the robots built by several teams that were hired rashly by the Mann Co. The end product isn’t exactly as we expected them to be. There was even one designer that wanted to make vampires out of them, which explains their weakness to the sun. But there is much more to them. At night they're running at full capacity, making them at least three times stronger, faster and more reactive. When encountered as a squad they should still be avoided at all cost, regardless of how strong you are. Let the BLUs take care of those.”

Princess Celestia already started writing this information down. The magic she used did not impress Saxton Hale in the slightest.

“Do not ever provide the BLUs any kind of headgear. They take these accessories a bit too seriously.”

“Don’t provide hats. Check.” Celestia stated.

“And lastly, don’t EVER let the BLU know that I was here!” Saxton stated.

“Why not? I’m sure that they’d like to know if an acquaintance of them is around.” Celestia wondered.

“Hmm. It might crush their determination and willpower if they find out there’s an easy way out of here. Then they might stop fighting the robots all together. I’d like to avoid that, preferably. And besides, I’m interested in seeing how they’re reacting to this environment.” Saxton explained.

Celestia sighed one more time, knowing this was a terrible idea, but nonetheless she agreed!

“The sun is shining at its brightest right now. You and your sister should drive the robots that have taken refuge in Canterlot away from here towards the Everfree Forest and let my men take care of the rest. I will leave you with that.” Saxton said.

“So you’re leaving now?” Celestia asked.

“Yes! But I will return soon enough. Have a good day!” Saxton gave Celestia a quick salute.

Princess Celestia took a step back. She was interested in seeing how this human was able to travel between worlds so easily. It had to be an extremely difficult task that would require many hours of conjuring and focusing magic.

“INTERDIMENSIONAL BRAAAAAAAAAAVE JUMP!” Saxton leapt up into the air and crashed through the palace’s roof leaving it crumbling to pieces.

Princess Celestia facehoofed. “Or he just simply jumps away, figures.” She sighed.

Anyway, work had to be done immediately. She, Luna, and the Royal Guards should be able to dispose of the robots that have already started invading Canterlot and throw them off of the mountain or something so that they’ll stay secluded to the Everfree Forest.

But these BLUs… Apparently they were already in Ponyville. She was curious about them, and would like to meet them in person. First thing’s first.

Write a letter to her faithful student Twilight Sparkle, of course!

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ponyville.

“So ya live in a tree with a fire-breathing lizard? That don’t sound safe at all!” Engineer expressed his concern to Twilight as they arrived at her library along with Trixie and Heavy. It was Twilight’s intention to inform the Princess as soon as possible on the current events.

“Hey! I’m a dragon if you didn’t know.” Spike explained, somewhat angry. Apparently, he wasn’t amazed in any way by these strange humans.

“I do not know… Is awfully little to be called dragon.” Heavy added.

“Dude! Once I’m fully grown up I’ll be even bigger than you!” Spike informed.

“DA! IS VERY GOOD DRAGON! You may be little now, but one day you might be even greater than mighty Godzilla!” Heavy shouted.

“Exactly! I don’t know who this Zilla fellow is, but I’ll be much better th-” Spike suddenly stopped mid-sentence as he felt a familiar feeling coming up his throat.

*Burp*

Along with his loud belch, he summoned some small green flames and a sealed scroll, a letter written by royalty.

“Is not nuclear flames yet, but it is a start.” Heavy sighed, showing his disappointment by the dragon’s performance.

“N-no! It’s a letter from the Princess. Twilight, a letter!” Spike called.

“WHAT!? But I just started writing my own letter to the Princess… Fine, show it to me please, Spike.” Twilight replied.

Spike handed over the letter and Twilight Sparkle started reading the entire thing out loud. Apparently she never heard of Student-Teacher confidentially.

___________________________________
My faithful student, Twilight Sparkle,

My sister and I are already aware of the situation involving strange visitors roaming around in Equestria.

I’m speaking, of course, of the robot invasion. Recent research has shown us that they’re not particularly dangerous unless approached and provoked. They are to still to be avoided at all cost.

We are also aware of the ‘humans’ that have currently taken refuge in Ponyville. I can’t say that I like the idea of this, but my judgment can’t be based on just suspicions.

I would like one of these humans, along with an escort of their choice, to travel towards Canterlot as soon as possible and act as a spokesperson.

Know that this event could very well determine the future of these ‘friendly’ visitors. So make sure they pick the right person for the job.

I will be expecting a human at my palace preferably today or tomorrow. This is important and it involves the wellbeing of all the citizens in Ponyville. I really would like to know what we’re dealing with.

Please make haste, Twilight Sparkle.

-Princess Celestia.
__________________________

“Well you heard what the Princess had to say, Engineer. It looks like we’re going to travel to Canterlot and straighten this whole mess out.” Twilight said with a sigh.

“Nope! Ya heard how angry that lady sounds? Ah really can’t be bothered to deal with that, especially since yer mayor didn’t seem to like me either. Besides, mah Sentry-Guns will break down if Ah go too far from them.” Engineer replied.

“I understand that it might seem scary… but who else of your team can be capable of interacting with royalty?” Twilight asked.

“Trixie will go along with Hoovy, he has already proven himself to be completely capable of following demands. We are obviously the right ones for the job!” Trixie said determinedly.

“H-Hoovy?!” Heavy asked confused.

“Yes. That’s your new name. Trixie didn’t like the old one.” Trixie replied.

“Njet!” Heavy counter-replied.

Twilight Sparkle facehoofed again. She had done that an awful lot lately. But stupidity aside, Trixie and Heavy weren’t exactly the ideal ponies… or people for a task this important.

“Okay… I propose we gather every pony and human we have right now and discuss this as well-behaved adults. You heard the Princess, it could determine all of your futures so you might want to consider being on your best behavior from now on!” Twilight lectured to Heavy and Engineer.

“Da… Sparkle pony.” Heavy replied obediently.

“Yes, ma’am, But Ah still got this Spycrab’s head in mah backpack that Ah want to interrogate for some more information regarding our enemy.” Engineer reminded.

“Yes, well, your stupid robot games will have to wait for a moment and we have to focus on what’s really important. You said yourself that they’re afraid of sunlight, which gives us the entire day to prepare, since it’s only morning. I think letting the Princess know that you’re not dangerous lunatics is more important at the moment than some robots hiding in the forest, where barely any pony goes. And since you said you’re all ‘professionals’, you can handle some extra robots without any problems, can’t you?” Twilight said.

“If ya put it that way… sure!” Engineer chuckled a bit.

“Great, then let’s go!” Twilight said, taking charge once again.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Fluttershy’s cottage.

Yes, a lot of things had happened since the last scene at this place. The violent football match had ended without a clear winner, injuries weren’t that bad thanks to Medic’s Medigun, but the mental scars some had suffered during the event would never fade.

But morale was still pretty high and they were ready for more nonsense.

Pyro had, at this point, put a plunger atop his head and wore it as a hat. He had given his old beanie to Pinkie Pie to wear. Of course, she could only ‘borrow’ it, but she was happy about it nonetheless. Maybe she’d treat him to some cupcakes and other sweets later, even if she wasn’t sure if he was even able to eat with all that equipment on.

They were both still happily kicking the burned, exploded, and flat football around without a care in the world.

Soldier and Derpy weren’t doing much interesting. Poor Derpy Hooves was still in shock of the ridiculously over the top football match they held earlier. This wasn’t any game she was used to playing, as there were way too many explosions.

Luckily, Soldier was around to comfort the slightly frightened gray Pegasus.

“You wouldn’t mind holding these grenades, would you?” Soldier asked.

“Grenades? Sure.” Derpy agreed without knowing what the hay a grenade was. They looked like rusty old cans attached to a string for some reason. Probably some weird alien technology, she guessed.

“Good… I just have to check on the rest of my equipment, see what kind of arsenal I have at my disposal. We can’t let our guard down with all these robots around!” Soldier explained as he opened his backpack.

“Uhh, alright!” Derpy replied.

“Hmm… Cow Mangler 5000, Black Box, Liberty Launcher, Gunboats. Seems like everything is pretty much here… WAIT, WHAT’S THAT!”

“AH! WHAT?!” Derpy responded, slightly startled from Soldier’s random reaction. Because of this, she accidentally dropped the grenades on the ground.

“Oh, it’s just another Market Gardener! Thank god, because I lost the one that I used earlier.” Soldier explained.

*CLICK*

“By the flag, maggot! Did you drop those grenades on purpose?!” Soldier’s war instincts immediately started kicking in as soon he heard that sound.

“What? No, you just scared me!” Derpy replied, unsure of what was going on.

“Sweet mother of god! TAKE COOOVER!” Soldier shouted as he grabbed Derpy and quickly hid behind the cottage.

“What… why are we running away now?” Derpy asked confused.

“You just dropped an extremely sensitive explosive device, maggot! In a few seconds, those grenades will blow everything to bits within a twenty yard radius!” Soldier said as he kneeled down and started covering his ears.

Half a minute later still nothing had happened.

“Are you sure it will explode?” Derpy asked.

“Any minute now!” Soldier repeated, still covering his ears.

Ten minutes later, nothing happened.

“Any… minute now.” Soldier was still certain.

“Dummkopf! You had to give back your grenades years ago when we were fired!” Medic finally decided to stop this because it was getting pretty depressing to watch.

“Then what did we just drop?” Soldier asked.

“Zhey’re literally old rusty cans zhat you collected from your… dumpster.” Medic sighed.

“Oh, yeah… I forgot all about that!” Soldier said. He proceeded to continue checking his inventory along with Derpy again.

“Dummkopf! Vhy are you so dumb?!” Medic shouted at Soldier.

“…You shouldn’t tell your friends that they’re dumb…” A quiet voice advised.

“Vhat? I vas just pointing out ze obvious. Tell me, fraulein. Vhat is your name?” Medic asked.

“Fluttershy… I..uhhm… live here.” The cream colored Pegasus answered silently.

“Well zhen, Fluttershy. Vould you also tell me zhat friends should not keep secrets from each other, hmm?” Medic asked.

“Oh, of course! Being friends is all about being able to trust each other.” Fluttershy said.

“And I just told my friend zhat he is stupid. Now it is no longer a secret. You should not take small insults among our group zhis seriously. He is not bothered with it in ze slightest.” Medic explained.

“I still think it’s awfully rude…”

“OI, BIG HEAD, I’m Sniper! Sniping’s a good job, mate!” The Australian decided to randomly join the conversation.

“Eep!” Fluttershy quickly squeaked her way out of there. She fainted one-second later.

“… DUMMKOPF!” Medic slapped Sniper on the back of his head, causing his hat to fall off. “And sometimes insulting zhem is necessary to keep them in their place.” He added.

“Oi… It’s just that… everyone seems to be having fun with some big-head pony. Ya didn’t even include me in that football game. I’m bloody insulted here, mate!” Sniper explained.

“I don’t care. Go find your pony friend elsewhere… Didn’t you say zhat you didn’t like ze ponies earlier, anyway?” Medic asked.

“Yeah… that’s true. But I just want to have some fun! Haven’t had any of that in bloody years.” Sniper said with a small tear in his eye.

“… Nein. Go away.” Medic took the fainted Fluttershy with him.

Sniper was insulted once again, and decided to perform a sad musical number in his personal honor, hoping that one day even he would be able to find a friend! Unfortunately, no one seemed to have heard him.

Demoman, Scout, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack remained back inside the cottage, so they didn’t really notice or pay attention to what was going outside.

Demoman, who was all of a sudden a highly sophisticated gentleman wearing a Noble Assessment of Hats, hoped to compete with Scout’s newly acquired unusual.

One would not even be able to tell that the Scotsman was completely wasted from all the Scrumpy and Vodka he consumed earlier. Remember how he fought off multiple robotic Demoknights earlier? Well, he sure as hell didn’t, so looks can deceive!

“An’ that’s how I lost me eye! What a story, don’t ye think?” Demoman said.

“What darned story? Ya just said that one line after being quiet for ten minutes.” Applejack replied.

“Bloody hell… I thought I was talking out loud. Don’t worry! I know just the thing to cure that.” Demoman proceeded to chug more from his everlasting bottle of Scrumpy.

Applejack sighed once again, hoping the Scotsman would change his strange habits soon, because it was almost impossible to have a normal conversation with him right now.

Scout and Rainbow Dash were meanwhile holding a bragging contest or something similar. Scout told some nonsense story about him being selected for the 2012 Olympics but he gracefully declined explaining that the competition was too low for him.

Rainbow Dash kept talking off how she was the greatest flyer in Equestria, yet she still aimed to join a certain group called the Wonderbolts. Quite odd to join a group of other Pegasi if she was already the fastest pony around. But we’re not here to question such silly things, besides there was no time for that right now because Twilight Sparkle and the others just stormed through the front door.

“Alright! Nothing unusual was going on outside, so I expect it to be total chaos in here! Applejack, the situation, please!” Twilight shouted.

“We’re just havin’ tea, Twi.” The orange Earth-pony explained.

“Oh… Good! So nothing happened? Everything is finally starting to go as planned? Thank goodness!” Twilight said relieved.

“Ah wouldn’t count on that, ma’am. Ah started countin’ outside but we’re still missing one guy. Spy ain’t around here.” Engineer stated.

“But… you said we shouldn’t worry about him?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah… but Ah still like to know where he’s hanging out.” Engineer said.

“Yes… In due time. First we need to discuss what human and what pony will represent you guys as a spokesperson to the Princess.” Twilight stated.

“What? A free trip to Canterlot you say? It’s obvious that me and Scout should go!” Rainbow Dash said.

“Really now… And what argument do you have to back that reasoning up?” Twilight asked.

“So I can show him the Wonderbolts Arena!”

“Yeah! I want to see more fast ponies!” Scout added.

“… No. You two aren’t going, that’s for sure. I still think I should go myself, along with Engineer. Not that I don’t trust you guys, but I know the Princess best, and I’m sure I can convince her that you humans are… nice. And Engineer has always been polite this far, so I think he’s the best choice.” Twilight said.

“YOU ARE WRONG, MAGGOT!” Soldier blew through the front door with full force.

“Solly?! What the heck are ya doing?” Engineer asked.

“Shut your mouth, Private! Don’t forget that I’m in charge here. I just happened to have overheard your little conversation involving presenting ourselves to royalty. From what I can gather, that Princess of yours sounds like a mean old lady! That is why we can’t take such an opportunity lightly. We have to take every advantage we have and break in before they are able to enter our minds!” Soldier explained.

“… You’re not making any sense. What do you mean?” Twilight asked.

“It’s very simple, Private. I will go myself, along with THIS pony!” Soldier pointed at Derpy.

“… Why? No offense, though!” Twilight added quickly.

“No, I agree… Why?” Derpy asked.

“Because this pony did not hesitate even a second to shoot me directly in the stomach when I was appearing as a threat to her. And she just threw down three grenades without thinking about it twice! Sure, they ended up being rusty old cans, but we all THOUGHT they were grenades! We need that mentality in these dark times of endless combat.” Soldier said.

“I think… you’re taking things a bit too seriously. You need to calm down, okay?” Twilight said, hoping to cool off the crazy Soldier. “We’re not at war or something.” She added.

“YOU ARE WRONG, MAGGOT! This is most definitely war! And we’re right in the middle of it. I won’t repeat this again, me and this Private will go to discuss our terms with your little ‘Princess’, whether you like it or not. That’s an order!” Soldier barked.

“… Aren’t you going to say anything?” Twilight asked Engineer.

“Nope! In fact, Ah like this idea. If Solly here can present himself as well behaved, we’ll have no problem staying here. He might be the most anti-social one of us, but no one ever expects anything of him. So basically, it can’t go wrong! And of course, Ah can’t decline an order, obviously.” Engineer said.

“That’s… not reassuring at all.” Twilight sighed.

“Don’t worry! I will show that snobby royalty exactly what kind of people the BLUs are! Even if I have to blow up their entire castle for it! Lead the way, Private!” Soldier ordered Derpy. He was eager to get going already, so he immediately sprinted outside.

“… I’ll try to keep damage to a minimum… But I can’t promise anything.” Derpy sighed and followed the BLU leader.

“Well… That can’t end well. I hope they don’t get sent to a dungeon or something like that. If he screws things up, it’ll end badly for all of you, you know that, right?” Twilight asked.

“Yup. But sometimes, it’s better to just let things happen themselves. Always worked pretty well for me in the end.” Engineer replied.

“Anyway, we still promised the Mayor to introduce the humans to the citizens of Ponyville. I suppose seven out of nine humans will still have quite a lasting impact. Maybe it’s even for the better, as I have no idea how they’ll react.” Twilight said.

“Yeah, Ah suppose we should get that whole introduction thing over with. But Ah just wonder what the heck Spy is doing.” Engineer ended the conversation.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Spy had already deviously stolen five hats from Rarity’s Carousel Boutique. But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t because the hats he stole were terrible or something, oh no. These hats were simply divine. And not even the most well behaved mercenary out of the BLUs could resist the temptation to get even more of these beautiful hats.

But wouldn’t it be obvious? Going to the same exact place where he had committed a crime not thirty minutes earlier? No… In fact, they’d never see it coming. Only a complete idiot would immediately return to the crime scene. They’d never expect it from a gentleman, a Spy.

It didn’t take long for the Frenchman to return. The unicorn known as Rarity had already cleaned up the room again. There was no sign of that clever smaller unicorn, though. That was good, because she was perhaps the only one in town that knew of his existence.

Spy was like a Shinobi of the night, sneaking around completely invisible even though he was just a few meters away from the Boutique’s owner. He patiently waited in a corner for the unicorn to leave. She eventually did so while shouting for her little sister, who was still nowhere to be found.

Good, good. That would make Spy’s job so much easier. Those hats are his… all his. The Frenchman chuckled softly.

Spy took another look around the room. There was one hat that stood out among all others. It was a simple top hat. BUT NOT ANY SIMPLE TOP HAT! It was magnificent, stunning, and most of all, incredibly oversized. If Spy was able to show off this amazing hat, the BLUs wouldn’t be able to ignore its greatness.

“I’m coming for you!” Spy didn’t deem it necessary to keep quiet since Rarity had already left the room. So he uncloaked and slowly made his way towards the enormous hat that people would only be able to see once in a lifetime.

As he gradually got closer, he noticed that the hat was not only beautiful, but of amazing quality as well. It would last him for at least a hundred years! And soon it would be all his!

He touched the hat… and gently picked it up. But something was wrong, the experience he had received all those previous years had taught him to always be aware. And soon enough, he noticed exactly why.

“Boo!” The small unicorn named Sweetie Belle said. Apparently, she was hiding underneath the giant hat.

Spy placed the hat back, took a step backwards and lit up a cigarette trying to look as cool as he possibly could.

“Mon Dieu… It’s a trap!” He shouted as he dropped the cigarette.

But it didn’t take long for two other small creatures to show up. One was another small pony, yellow of color with a red mane. She was carrying a net. The other was one mean looking chicken. Oh, wait, It was another orange winged pony which simply resembled a chicken greatly. Still, it didn’t change the fact that she looked pretty mean.

“Alright, GET HIM!” The yellow one shouted and tossed the net towards Spy.

Spy quickly searched for his Dead Ringer so he might be able to make an escape from these wretched entangled ropes. But it was in vain, as the orange pony bucked him directly in his face.

“What a disaster!” Spy stated. He was captured by some elementary school ponies. Words wouldn’t even be able to begin to describe his embarrassment.

“Shut up, Mr. Alien!” The orange Pegasus bucked him once again.

“Uhh, Scootaloo… Applebloom. Aren’t you guys being a bit too rough on him? I know that he got me blamed for ruining my sister’s room. But he didn’t look like that much of an evil guy.” Sweetie Belle said.

“Well… you did say he could shed his skin, so I think we should knock him out before he can make a run for it.” Scootaloo explained.

“Ah agree! The Cutie Mark Crusader Crime Stoppers won’t forgive any pony for breaking and entering!” Applebloom added.

“Okay… but we have him captured, anyway. He’s completely stuck in that net, so he isn’t going anywhere. My question now is… What are we going to do with this alien-burglar next?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Oh, that’s simple. We just uhh… I have no idea.” Scootaloo didn’t know.

Spy just remained calm as ever. There was always a way to escape, always. Even more so if he decided to take drastic measurements. And it looked like this might be the case. Everything was already planned out.

“Hmm. Hmm.” The Frenchman chuckled evilly.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/