Team Fortress 2. Equestria's Robot Invasion.

Team Fortress 2. Equestria’s Robot Invasion.
Chapter 5. Comrades.

Canterlot, the moment the BLUs invaded/visited Equestria.

“Sister! What was that light?” Princess Luna asked, concern showed on her face. She had left not just a minute ago when suddenly a bright flashing beam of light could be briefly seen throughout the skies above Canterlot.

“I’m not certain, Luna. But I was able to sense a strong magical interference. I’m positive that there is more to this.” Princess Celestia answered.

“Should we… check it out, maybe?” Luna asked.

“Yes, of course. I will send our top Royal Guards to investigate the area immediately.” Celestia replied.

“That’s not what I meant. I mean… just you and me, like old times. Surely, it will be an exciting adventure!” Luna said excitedly.

“Are you serious, sister? As royalty, we can’t risk getting injured or abandon our posts. It is our duty to watch over all of Equestria.” Celestia replied with a serious tone.

“Exactly! And I’m certain that such an event as large-scaled as this can only produce an extremely dangerous outcome. A difficult task that perhaps even the Royal Guards will not be able to complete. That is why we, as the most powerful ponies in Equestria, must take action!” Luna explained.

“I suppose it makes some sense… If it means we’re securing the safety of every pony in Equestria.” Celestia reluctantly agreed.

“Yes, we do this to protect them! Come sister, follow me! I’m sure we will be able to overlook the situation better from over there.” Luna was so excited that she immediately took off.

“Luna, wait for me!” Celestia shouted as she followed her younger sister.

Slightly later.

Both Princesses flew stealthily through the air. It didn’t take long for them to spot their first abnormality. A strange gray creature was standing at the edge of the mountain with a baseball bat. It was about Luna’s size, but it stood on two legs.

“Sister! Quickly, hide!” Luna dragged Celestia with her in a nearby bush.

“Ah, Luna! I’d like to avoid getting dirty, please.” Celestia replied annoyed.

“Sssshhhh! We have to make sure if this ‘thing’ is dangerous or not.” Luna shushed her sister.

“Oh, come on, Luna. It’s just a harmless lost dimensional-traveling creature. I’m sure if we approach it, it’ll accept our help gratefully.” Celestia explained.

“Silence! I believe it’s doing something.” Luna said. They both kept their mouths shut for a second to hear what this strange gray being was up to.

“Need a teleporter here.” It shouted, standing in the distance.

“What did it say?” Celestia asked.

“Just some strange animal growls, I’m certain. Don’t pretend it’s able to speak Equestrian.” Luna replied.

“Yes…of course.”

“Need a dispenser here. BOOP.” The gray being shouted.

“What is it doing now?” Celestia wondered.

“I believe it is performing some sort of mating call. What fascinating creatures!” Luna said. Both sisters continued to observe the creature as it remained silent for a moment. Yet, after that small moment they were interrupted as the ground below them started rumbling. Not heavily, but it was noticeable. Something big was coming.

“We need a dispenser right here!”

“We need a dispenser right here!”

“We need a dispenser right here!”

“We need a dispenser right here!”

“We need a dispenser right here!”

At least fifty more similar creatures appeared out of nowhere. All were wearing a yellow hard-hat and carrying a large gray toolbox.

Once they arrived at the one carrying a bat, they started placing down multiple constructions made from metal simply by whacking their wrench into it.

“Erectin’ a dispenser!” Some of the hard-hatted ones shouted.

“Yeah, yeah!” The one with the bat was looking pretty pleased.

Once they finished the construction their buildings, the hard-hatted ones jumped on top of them and started dancing and laughing out loud.

At this moment another lone similar creature that was wearing a fashionable hat rather than a hard-hat came running up to his companions, also carrying a toolbox.

“Teleporter coming right up!” He shouted excitedly.

“Nope.”

“Nope.”

“Nah.”

“Nope.”

“Nah.”

“No way!”

“Nope.”

“Nope.”

“Nah.”

All of the gray creatures seemed displeased by this.

The one that had built the teleport was pretty upset by his companions’ disapproval and was determined to show it.

“Dag-nabbit. Damn it! Woaaaaaaaaaah!” He decided to throw himself of the mountain.

The other gray creatures started laughing out loud and for some reason decided to jump right after him. Within twenty-seconds, more than fifty of these beings had dropped down to their death. It was tragic to say the least. The constructions made by them blew up into pieces shortly after.

“S-sister… What did we just witness?” Luna asked shocked.

“I… I have no idea. But we shall not forget the heroism of these… strange beings.” Celestia replied.

“Heroism? They’re completely insane!”

“Do not worry sister, they’re gone anyway.”

“No, something is off! And we’re going to figure this out. I’ve seen plenty of strange creatures in my life, but never one with red-glowing eyes and weird metal bodies!” Luna stated.

“What do you propose we do?” Celestia asked.

“First you must fully raise the sun, for the time has come for that. We must be sure that none of these potential threats have already invaded Canterlot, and if not, keep them confined to the Everfree Forest where they may not cause any harm to anypony. Then, we will be able to take further action.” Luna explained.

“It amazes me how you’re able to come up with anything at all in such a stressful situation.” Celestia complimented her younger sister.

“Your praise is much appreciated, sister. But there’s no time for that. I already sense a sinister presence within Canterlot.” Luna said.

“Then we must return immediately!” Celestia replied. And both Princesses flew off, hoping they would be in time to stop this presumably dangerous presence.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Present time. Twilight Sparkle and Engineer at the Mayor’s office.

Mayor Mare sighed. “Do you have any idea how complicated you’re making things, Twilight?" She asked.

“Yes… I understand I’m asking for a lot. But we can’t just leave them to die. Can we?” Twilight said.

“It’s only seven in the morning and I’ve already received several complaints regarding noise, property damage, and strange sightings.” Mayor Mare pointed out.

“Yes, I’m aware that they’re slightly out of place. But I’m certain they’ve cooled off by now. And besides, we’ve got most of them gathered away from Ponyville, at Fluttershy’s cottage.” Twilight desperately attempted to convince the Mayor.

“Ma’am. Ah can assure you that me an’ mah team mean no harm to y’all ponies. We’re jus’ here temporarily due to some freak accident. Once Saxton Hale clears everything up back on Earth, Ah’m sure that things will be back to normal again.” Engineer said. Apparently, he was in the room as well.

“Saxton…Hale…That’s a silly name!” The Mayor said.

“That don’t matter! What Ah’m saying is that ya don’t have to worry about us one bit. Nothing ain’t gonna happen, Ah guarantee ya that.” Engineer said.

“I see…I will allow you and your ‘team’ to temporarily take refuge in Ponyville while you attempt to find a way back home. But there are some conditions.” Mayor Mare said.

“Shoot.”

“First of all, I want Twilight to reveal you all to the town first before you all start walking around as if you’re home. Secondly, you’re paying for all the damage caused last night.” She stated.

“Ah’m afraid our currency ain’t worth nothing here. But ah can repair it with mah own two hands!” Engineer said proudly.

“Ah, that’s fine as well then. Also, if you like building so much, you can build yourself and your crew a house. There’s no free room currently in Ponyville so you’ll have to figure out where you’re staying for now. Maybe get a job or something, hmm?” The Mayor said.

“Are ya serious? Ah’ve already explained the robot situation. Ain’t that enough?” Engineer said. He was pretty upset by this.

“Spare me your wild robot theories! I won’t believe such a thing before I see it with my own eyes.” The Mayor stated.

“But Mayor…We’re talking with an alien as we speak. Don’t you think an army of robots in the Everfree Forest doesn’t sound so farfetched?” Twilight added.

“Please, Twilight. I have enough to worry about at the moment! You just take care of these ‘humans’ and notify the Princess as soon as possible. Do you understand?” The Mayor ordered.

“Yes, Mayor.” Twilight replied.

“Good. Be on your way then, I have lots of work to attend to!”

So Twilight and Engineer left the Town Hall. Things turned out better than expected, even though the Mayor didn’t particularly like the idea of nine aliens living in her town. But she guessed it would be against pony morals to let them helplessly wander around in the forest.

Outside. Trixie and Heavy.

“Are you ready? Trixie asked Heavy.

“Da! Heavy will crush good friend’s enemy.” He responded.

“And you’re sure they won’t recognize you?”

“Da. I am master of disguise, do not worry.” Heavy said as he put on some sunglasses and placed a wig of a hairdo that belongs to the sixties on his bald head.

“Good, good… Then I’ll be waiting. Trixie is counting on you!” Trixie replied. “Remember! It’s the purple unicorn! You’ll recognize her by her ‘evil’ ways.”

Engineer and Twilight.

“So, what’s next?” Engineer asked.

“You heard the mayor, we’ll have to gather your team and properly introduce them to Ponyville to avoid any potential panic among the citizens.” Twilight replied.

“Ya saw the guys at the cottage. Just Spy and Heavy are still missing. Ah wouldn’t worry to much about Spy… But Heavy’s a guy that’s hard to miss.” Engineer stated.

“Then it’s our top priority to retrieve him as soon as possible. We’ll regroup in the center of town and start looking in every direction from there.”

“Sounds like a plan. Lead the way, ma’am.”

“Certainly. We’ll just have to pass this inconspicuous, dark, scary-looking alley.” Twilight said.

“Alrighty then!” Engineer replied without a care in the world, but he knew the last time he entered a seemingly deserted alley didn’t end pretty with Soldier living in his dumpster. He had a similar unsettling feeling right now.

“W-WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!” Engineer shouted worried.

“…It’s just a garbage can.” Twilight sighed.

“Oh, okay. Nothin’ to worry about then.” Engineer said relieved. Still, it was an awfully big garbage can compared to these ponies. You’d think they’d have every object in this world slightly smaller.

Both passed the garbage can, not noticing the lid was slowly opening. The distinct sound of shells reloading a shotgun could be faintly heard by Engineer. He wanted to turn around, but it was already too late.

“You, yes YOU! You are dead!” The garbage man said while keeping the shotgun on his shoulders.

“… Heavy, what the heck are you doing? We’ve been looking all over for you!” Engineer said laughing. Heavy’s disguise was simply ridiculous.

“I am not Heavy. I am Gustav of great nation of Ukraine.” He responded.

“Heavy… It’s obviously you.”

“Njet.”

“Could you two wrap this up? I’m glad we found one of the missing humans, but we still have a lot of work to do.” Twilight said.

“Yeah, cut the crap, Heavy. Jus’ grab yer gun and let’s go.” Engineer ordered.

“Njet. You are all dead!” Gustav jumped out the garbage can and started to approach the two.

“What’s the big idea, mister?!” Engineer was getting annoyed at this point.

“You are dead first! Then other puny men from BLU!”

“What the heck are ya talkin’ about?” Engineer was also starting to get confused.

“Is there… some sort of problem? He’s not going to hurt ponies… is he?” Twilight asked concerned.

“Njet. We will not hurt little defenseless creatures. But strong ones must die… we will find strong ones, all of them.”

“Heavy… you?” Engineer was at a loss for words. Luckily the silence was quickly interrupted.

“What do you mean you aren’t going to hurt her? That’s not what our agreement was about!” A voice shouted from atop one of the nearby roofs, and shorty after was teleported behind them.

“Trixie?!” Twilight said confused.

“Yes, it is I. The Great and Powerful Trixie!” She replied proudly.

“Ya know this loud-mouth?” Engineer asked.

“Yes, I’ve had some small misunderstandings with her in the past… I don’t think she really like me.” Twilight explained.

“You don’t say…”

“And you! Trixie even paid you! How dare you disobey Trixie’s orders?!” She pointed at Heavy.

He just grunted in return.

“What were you planning, Trixie?” Twilight asked.

“Oh… Trixie supposes she can confess now because HE ruined everything.” The blue unicorn took a deep breath.

“Trixie had not forgotten about the Ursa Minor incident. The endless shame and humiliation that I’ve suffered… Trixie will never forgive you for that!”

“But nothing really changed, it wa-” Twilight was interrupted.

“DOOOON’T INTERUPT TRIXIE’S STORY! First the humiliation, which resulted in my banishment away from Ponyville!”

“You weren’t banished. You were welcome to return at any time.” Twilight stated.

“AND THEN TRI… Wait, what?” Trixie stopped talking for a second.

“Yeah. You could’ve come back any time you wanted to.”

“… Okay. But Trixie still had suffered a terrible humiliation! And I was blamed for the actions of those two brats!”

“No pony blames you for what happened. It was extremely irresponsible of Snips and Snails to lure an Ursa Minor to Ponyville. So they were punished for their actions. Every pony knows it wasn’t your fault bringing that creature in.” Twilight explained again.

“… IT STILL DOESN’T MATTER! You still prevented Trixie from having her moment of glory that day by stepping in. Your actions are unforgivable!” She shouted.

“Oh come on, Trixie. Can’t we just drop this whole silly thing?” Twilight laughed sheepishly.

“Ma’am. Ah hate to interrupted yer little argument. But could ya tell me why Heavy’s acting so strange?” Engineer joined in on the conversation.

“What? Oh… yes. Trixie paid him to give Twilight a rough lesson about payback. Unfortunately he’s useless, just look at him! Just standing there, completely clueless to what’s going on around him. At first Trixie thought he was a funny guy… but now.” She said.

“Hmm. That don’t sound like Heavy at all. Everything all right, pardner?” Engineer asked.

But the Russian remained motionless and speechless since the moment Trixie arrived.

“Yatatataaaa. Yatatatat, come sing with me!” They suddenly heard Heavy’s voice singing. But it was distant. Things got even stranger as they saw Heavy walking towards them… even though he was right next to the group.

“Oh no! Is Heavy late?” He asked.

“Uhh… What’s going on?” Twilight asked confused.

“Ah! I see little purple pony! BAD PONY! You must not tease my new comrade!” Heavy poked Twilight Sparkle.

“Hey, stop that!” The purple unicorn complained.

“There. Mission is complete now. Now tell Heavy why there is Spy here.” He asked.

Engineer wasn’t listening. He was busy brainstorming. He couldn’t believe that he didn’t figure it out before after all those years spend with the BLUs. It was obvious, seeing as he was acting so suspicious, but he should’ve known better.

Everyone is a Spy. Everyone.

“Mentlegen.” The fake Heavy revealed himself to be a gray Spycrab.

Phew, it was just a Spycrab. They almost got slightly worried there. Engineer just laughed it off, but saw this as an opportunity for the cause of the greater good.

“BY GOD! It’s a Spah-crab! Those things are the most dangerous beings in existence in our world. Best brace yourself ma’am, cause it’s coming right for you!” Engineer shouted to Trixie.

“W-what?! Those things are dangerous?” She asked slightly worried.

The Spycrab meanwhile started showing off his mad crab-walking skills. Fear would soon enough take over their hearts. The gray robot was sure of that.

“Uhh… Engineer. What are you doing? I’ve encountered one of those things before and all it did was walk around circles and bump into walls.” Twilight whispered.

“Exactly, they’re harmless. But that gal doesn’t know about that. Take this opportunity to ‘save’ her and hopefully she’ll drop this stupid rivalry thing.” Engineer explained.

“What?! Do you have any how ridiculous that sounds? The chances of something that improbable happening are close to zero!” She stated.

“Ah don’t care! It always works in the movies, Ah’m sure it’ll work here as well. Ah’m also pretty sure that ya can shoot a magic laser beam or two with that horn of yers. Just aim for the core. It’s just a lifeless robot so no one will judge ya for it. It’s like beating up an old refrigerator.” Engineer laughed. Twilight still thought this was stupid.

“W-what should I do?!” Trixie asked concerned, still clueless about the Spycrabs worthlessness.

“OH, NO! IT SEEMS AH’VE DROPPED MAH WRENCH! Sorry, ma’am. Ah can’t help you right now.” Engineer said.

“What?! Puny Spy must not attack my new comrade! HEAVY WILL CRUSH COWA-” The Russian was interrupted.

“Dag-nabbit, Heavy! Don’t interfere. Ah usually think twice about things, but Ah’m sure things will work out this time. My gut’s telling me so. Let the ponies handle it themselves, trust them!” Engineer whispered to Heavy.

“… I do not want new little pony friend to get hurt, but I will trust Engineer. He is right… most of time.” Heavy sighed. “OOOOH NOOO! Sasha! I dropped giant gun on my feet! Heavy can’t help as well!” He shouted.

“W-what?! Please, help me! It’s coming right at me!” Trixie started to get more nervous by the second as the Spycrab slowly started approaching her.

And it was terrifying. The blank cold stare it had with its red bright glowing eyes. The cigarette it smoked, even though it was just a metal construction. The odd way of walking that should’ve definitely been in a horror movie.

“H-help!” Trixie begged one last time before the Spycrab reached her.

*ZAP*

Twilight Sparkle managed to pull of one of her famous laser beams that she performed earlier at the Canterlot Wedding. It was a direct hit against the robot’s ‘heart’. Its body immediately started disintegrating, but fortunately its head remained.

“What a disaster!” The robot said.

“I still don’t think it’s going to work.” Twilight sighed.

“Just you watch, ma’am.” Engineer said.

Trixie stood there in awe. She thought she was in a life-threatening situation where two of the large humans were unable to grab in. Yet, Twilight Sparkle… She stepped in without hesitating for even a second.

“Why…” She asked.

“What do you mean?” Twilight replied.

“Why would you help me… after Trixie said those terrible things about you?” She asked.

“… I’d help every pony who needs help. It’s no big deal, really.” The purple unicorn said humbly.

“Yes! It is a big deal! Trixie is eternally grateful for your help! Perhaps one day Trixie can call you… a friend.”

“That would be nice, Trixie.” Twilight smiled.

“Told ya it would work!” Engineer bragged. Twilight facehoofed, but she didn’t complain.

“Yes! The Great and Powerful Trixie is pleased as well!” The blue unicorn cheered.

“C-could you please stop talking like that?” Twilight asked as she was getting annoyed by Trixie’s way of talking in the third person.

“WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU!” Heavy suddenly shouted.

“Ah! W-what? It’s just a normal request.” Twilight backed away slightly startled.

“NJET! I thought this was very happy place with many good ponies. Heavy thought little ponies would accept each other no matter what! But if purple pony cannot tolerate my comrade’s beautiful way of talking, then I am dissapoint!” Heavy stated.

“That’s right, ma’am. We gotta put up with Pyro’s mumblings and Heavy’s shouting as well. Consider yourself lucky.” Engineer added.

“Fine! I’m sorry, Trixie. You can talk however you want!” Twilight might’ve sounded slightly annoyed, but she knew there was some sense in Heavy’s words.

“Huzzah! Trixie is pleased once again!” She cheered.

“Yaahahaa! We are all comrades now!” Heavy joined the cheer.

“Then can we PLEASE continue now? We’re already way off schedule.” Twilight complained.

“What about little Spy-head?” The Russian asked.

“Hmm… We might as well take him with us for some… hehehe… interrogating.” Engineer chuckled. Surely, the Spycrab would be able to provide them with some information.

“How can you interrogate a robot…? Never mind, can we just please go now?” Twilight asked one more time.

“Sure thing, ma’am! You’re the boss!” Engineer said.

“And Trixie will come along as well!” Trixie stated.

“Hmm, I think it’s best to write the Princesses a letter first. I’m sure they’ll want to know what’s happening.” Twilight said. Making writing a letter to Celestia and Luna was their next top priority, surely they will be able to help.

Canterlot. Present time.

Things weren’t looking pretty when both sisters arrived back at Canterlot. They were taken over before they even had a chance to react.

The gray metal strange creatures were roaming around freely in the capital of Equestria, yet secluding themselves to the shadows behind buildings or forested areas. The sun was their enemy. But it didn’t take long for the town to erupt in complete chaos. Ponies were running for their lives as they encountered any of the random creatures.

“Sister! We’re severely outnumbered. I’m aware that they’re completely useless and don’t pose that much of a threat. But these numbers, it’s beyond ridiculous!” Luna shouted.

“I’m afraid that even we won’t be able to stop such a large amount without risking injuring one of our own subjects. We will have to evacuate the town as soon as possible!” Celestia stated.

“JUSTICE!”

“What was that, Tia? It sounded like some pony shouting.” Luna asked.

*BOOM*

A loud explosion followed.

“That can’t be good! Let us make haste and take note of what is happening.” Celestia replied.

As soon as they turned the corner, they were surprised by what they were seeing. It wasn’t a pony, but it was hairy. It resembled the gray creatures slightly. But there was literally hair everywhere, especially under its nose. The ‘thing’ was punching the robots to bits with just his bare claw-like things.

It didn’t take long for him to notice the presence of both Princesses nearby. It turned around slowly, revealing a face that showed nothing but courage, determination, and guts.

“Princess Celestia, Princess Luna. I’m honored.” It spoke.

“You know of who we are?” Celestia asked.

“Yes… I know everything of this place. It’s quite popular, you see.” He said.

“Then what brings you here?” Luna asked.

“Hmm. For adventure! To restore the name of the brilliant Mann Co. But most importantly, I come with a message for some of my employees, but one to you as well.”

“Then… who are you?” As powerful as Celestia was, this creature’s aura produced something far more frightening then she could ever imagine. It would be best to listen to his demands, or else who knows what he might be capable of. She could also judge from the fact that he was punching robots to bits that he’s not on the gray beings’ side.

“Australian. CEO of Mann Co. And the man who’s burning this place to the ground if he doesn’t get what he wants!” He stated.

Celestia sighed. “Luna. You calm down the civilians. Let them know the gray creatures shouldn’t be feared, but it’s best not to approach them. Deal with that as I will listen to this man’s story.”

And Luna did just so while Celestia made her way back to the castle with the not so mysterious man.

With both Princesses now aware of the situation, accompanied by our new strange visitor, surely we will get some answers soon.

Or maybe not!

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/