A Different World

Nice indeed.

Real people, if a little alien, real food, genuine kindness and smiles, mostly, I hope, and did I mention food? Ugh, I was bloated. So much to try, only one life. I shall go hungry again. Then again, these princesses were already seeing to that in the first place.

Captain Ivy tried to convince me into taking a carriage back to the palace when night came. But I have my dignity to uphold, for what it was worth. Still couldn't get drunk at any of the several and a half taverns we visited. Made their days, but made me get a lecture from the good aforementioned captain about the dangers of excessive drinking and alcohol poisoning.

What does she know? What has she ever needed to forget?

Our arrival back to the palace was greeted by the maid Sugar Beet. Who was quick to escort us to the throne room, where sat and waited the princesses. Though, before we went through the doors, the captain insisted on ensuring we were looking our neatest.

Why argue?

Though... did she just carry a horse brush with her everywhere? And did she have to get so invasive with it?

Anyway...

"Did you enjoy our city?" Luna asked with a smirk as she eyed me up and down.

I nodded. "It was incredible. I can hardly remember a time when a crowd of people weren't trying to bring me down."

"And that killed the mood," Luna sighed, falling back onto the cushions that served as a thrown. Nice idea really. Who needs an annoying chair? "Can you not speak of more pleasant things?"

"That was pleasant," I objected. "Your citizens are kind... rather enthusiastic, and aren't actively trying to kill me. That's really about the best compliment I could give anyone at present."

Unlike her sister, Celestia chuckled. "She's just a hopeless romantic, Selfen. I, however, am glad you feel safe in our kingdom."

Wow. Was their rivalry between them? What was with the one-upmanship?

"Bored you mean," Luna jabbed, "the stuffy nobility scare away all the excitement."

Ooh. It was on.

"They enjoy the peace," Celestia parried.

"No they just want to remain a thousand years behind the times so as to appear sophisticated," lunged the blue one.

"Canterlot has the finest schools in the world," Celestia dodged and retaliated, "where the best and brightest have been taught for centuries."

"With an unmitigated dropout rate," Luna defended. "Were it not for all the pressure from these stuffy nobles and the ridiculous rules they impose, perhaps we wouldn't have so many PHDs working the cash registers at greasy spoons."

Celestia opened her mouth to argue, but then looked down. "On this we can agree. The nobles badgering the professors to keep our students 'controlled' does steal the thunder from their spirits. They love being near such a prestigious place, but can't stand the noise. Were there another solution... I would have instated it years ago."

Luna sighed. "I know sister. Pity we can't just abuse our power and force them to move away."

"Perhaps... it is a little quiet in Canterlot as of late," the white sister commented. She turned to look at me with a broad smile. "Which, is why you will be thrilled to know that you shall be spending time away from the city for a while while wedding preparations are underway."

"Oh, you're talking to me now?" I asked, slightly disappointed the little battle had ended. "Where will I be going? The countryside?"

"The countryside," Luna nodded in amusement. "This palace is far to claustrophobic for a stallion such as yourself. You haven't even gotten a chance to spread your wings yet. We've taken the liberty of packing some bags for you... as you didn't really have many belongings..."

"You do now," Celestia quipped with a chuckle.

Oh dear. Females and packing. Not to mention rich ones at that.

"Ahem, as I was saying," Luna glared at her sister, "we were unable to recover your books as of yet. Trust that we are still searching."

Right, I remember asking for someone to look for them. I hope they're in this world. It'd be a bother to rewrite them from memory.

"You shall also be accompanied by a small armed detachment," hope they were better than my last armed detachment, "as well as two maids to assist and groom you."

Groom? I was gonna get brushed, weren't I?

"She means serve," Celestia clarified. "She's a little out of touch."

I will still get brushed right? Please?

"We've arranged for you to stay at the homes of your other future wives," it was Celestia's turn to speak apparently. "You'll be spending some time with each of them in whatever order you see fit. We thought it best if you decide."

"They have already been informed, and have returned word that they are ready to host you at any point," Luna remarked with a knowing smile. "Though... we ask that you behave yourself, Selfen. Until after the wedding. We could all do without the nobles trying to create a scandal."

Odd. I just had a thought. They treat me like I'm important, but, not once since I've been here, have I met anything resembling a noble. Not that I knew what nobles of this world looked like. Back on earth I had seen and killed plenty. Were they keeping them away from me? Wise move.

"And this warning also means that we can no longer keep the nobles at bay," Celestia pointed out. Ah, so I was right. "Until now we have kept them back with words of reassurance and threats of lawsuits. Once you reach ponyville, however..."

"It will be a battlefield," I finished for her. "Perhaps less violent than I am used to, but I should feel right at home."

"You leave in the morning," Luna said, descending from the throne to place a palm upon my cheek. "Rest assured, my sister and I will do all in our power to make this world your home, Selfen Surt."

"And you need me lure the bulk of the nobility away from Canterlot so that you have fewer distractions and nuisances throughout the day," I smirked at her.

Both she and Celestia's eyes widened.

"Well, we deserve a vacation too, you know."

Sometime later...

"You wished to speak with me, Princess?" Captain Ivy stood at attention in Celestia's private study.

The white alicorn bid her welcome as she casually peered over notes laid upon her desk. "I will simply be blunt with you, Captain. Luna has already chosen and convinced one of her finest night guard to serve as concubine to our husband's harem."

Ivy nodded. "It's a common practice, your highness."

"It is indeed," Celestia agreed. "So I am asking if you are willing to do the same."

Ivy was quiet for a minute. "I would like that very much, princess."

"The speed at you accepted is very telling, Captain Ivy," the solar diarch smiled. "It tells me that you've grown fond of him. You're young and unclaimed, and Sir Selfen is an excellent choice of mates. One whom Luna and I shall ensure only has the finest of mares in his harem."

Ivy nodded. "Of course, Princess."

"He strikes me as someone who respects confidence like that," Celestia nodded. "This of course mean you and Lieutenant Peeled Pomegranate will have to learn to get along now."

The captain's eyes almost bugged out of her skull, and her teeth began to grate. "Peeled Pomegranate, Ma'am?"

Celestia ignored the mare's obvious dislike of the thestral. "This now brings him a total of ten future lovers. This will be a good start."

"How many mares do you think he can handle?" the captain asked, trying to take her mind off of... that mare.

"I took on my last husband a century after Luna's banishment," Celestia began. "The grief and loneliness drove me to seek a mate. I accumulated a herd of fifty fine mares for him. We bore him many children.. no alicorns."

"Then you had to watch as they all died," Captain Ivy finished the story for her.

Celestia looked up from the notes, the fur around her eyes slightly moist. "Not this time, Captain. I loved Briar Patch with all of my heart. And I promised myself that I would never mate with another mortal again once he passed. So many lonely nights have passed. But now... now I have a chance to rebuild what I lost. And, perhaps, find the key to immortality once and for all."