A Different World

I needed to sleep. Celestia escorted me to the palace infirmary where they performed a lengthy check up. Again, I'm not sure if it was an invasive procedure, or that they seemed to like touching my block and tackle. Every time I protested, they would just blush and go ahead and do it more. Almost as if they liked hearing my voice.

I think I just answered my own question. They've never heard a deep, masculine voice before. I think they really like it.

Thankfully, Celestia came to my rescue before they could start "taking samples". But Celestia did insist on extracting some blood. That was fine. But some of the doctors were requesting another sample. You know what they wanted.

Celestia declined, thankfully, and had me taken to a room that had been prepared for me. After a quick tour to show me the bathroom (squatty potty if you must know), and a buzzer to call for help or food, she left me alone to go talk to her sister.

But not before she said that her sister would be coming later, and that I was to get some sleep before then. I really wasn't going to argue. I'd been awake for days. Well, three days before appearing in this world, and about nine hours here. A rough guess.

Suffice to say, I was prepared to fall asleep and never wake up. Boy that sounded darker than it was meant to.

At least they gave me a bed. I was half expecting some newspapers or an old cushion. I really hope that that's not what the males in this world have to deal with. That would just about be cause for war in my book.

Drat. Where were my books? I know I always carried them with me into battle. But in that last one, I may have lost them. I can always recreate them, sure, but I'd had them ever since I began my conquest. Maybe they were still back in that alley I staggered out of.

Dangit. Sleep would have to wait a couple minutes more. I rang that stupid buzzer.

Not even a second later, there was a knock on the door.

"Um, sir? Did you need something?" came the cautious voice from the other side.

I stared at the doorknob. Damn. "Open the door and come in here already."

"EEP." The door opened and pegasus a mare bustled in. Huh, she was even wearing a cute little French maid outfit. She stared at me in wonder and amazement. "So it is true. There is a stallion who can talk."

"And read and write, thank you very much," I told her with a toothy grin. She took a step back, laughing nervously. "But, down to business, as I am about ready to pass out. Kindly inform Captain Ivy that I think I may have lost some items in an alley near where they found me."

Speaking of the captain. I hadn't seen her ever my first meeting with the princesses.

"And you want them retrieved?" the maid asked timidly.

I gave her a deadpanned stare.

"No I want them left there for some stranger to find and possibly destroy."

"My apologies," she gulped. "W-will that be all?"

I nodded. "Yes, thank you... Miss..."

"Beet, sir," she responded. "My name is Sugar Beet."

"Thank you, Miss Beet," I told her with a sincere smile. "That will be all, thanks."

I fell upon the bed after she left, rolling from one end to the other so as to cocoon myself in a blanket burrito. Not a moment later, I was sound asleep. Well, as sound I have been able in the past few years.

The sun was shining overhead, reflecting off my visor. My armor clung snuggly to my body as I sat atop a tank baring my flag. Behind this tank was a full battalion of them, and each bore my flag as well. Helicopters flew over head and the rumblings of jets could be heard in the distance.

They were probably looking for me.

If only these tanks worked. They were just hollow metal skeletons. Rusted and full of holes, and older than my grandfather. It made me wonder, who would leave these old relics out in the middle of the desert to rust away to nothing? They belonged in a museum, or, at the very least, sold for scrap metal.

Why were they bearing my flag? I put them on. Why? I was bored.

But that seemed about to change. Those helicopters were flying in tighter and tighter circles now. Any moment now it would be business as usual.

Then something unusual happened.

They were gone. The helicopters, I mean. No, they didn't fly away. One moment they were there, and the next... not.

I considered this as I snuggled against the rusty metal that been my bed. Maybe I could get some rest.

"What is this creature you have become?" a familiar voice inquired.

Opening my eyes, I saw Princess Luna before me. Huh... something was off.

"Can I help you, Luna?" I asked, quirking my eyebrows.

She stared at me for a moment. "I know it's you, Selfen Surt. But... it's not you. And this... this isn't Equestria... where are we?"

"My home," I answered simply. "At least... as near as I could ever get. Used to be quite nice. As far as I can remember."

Luna was quiet for a long time, taking everything in. "Are you not an alicorn of our fair nation? Have you been deceiving us?"

I shook my head. "How could I? You were all so amazed by the fact I could talk that you neglected to ask any personal questions. Such as my hopes and dreams, where I was from. What my favorite food is... pancakes, by the way. I love pancakes."

"You could have told us," Luna snorted.

"Does it change anything?" I stared her down as I sat up. The movement of my body apparently alarmed her, and she backed up. "Let's examine the plain and simple, all encompassing fact... I'm already enough of a weirdo in your world. Besides, I would have told you, eventually."

"Oh, really?"

I nodded. "Of course. I've been running alone for many years. It was only a matter of a days before I cracked and began telling everyone my life story. Even if you aren't real."

She was taken aback quite forcefully. "I beg you pardon?"

"Granted." I grinned, she scowled, we both laughed. "Anyway. I've cracked. Here I am back on earth, and now your here with me... My guess is that this is all some feverish dream as my mutilated body is being dragged through the streets of some city while every one cheers and throws stuff at me."

She gasped in horror.

"I really wish it was real," I mentioned as an aside. "You were both nice to me... kind to me... in ways I can't recall any one else being."

I suddenly found my head pressed up against her bosom as she embraced me tightly. Damn. Helmet's in the way.

"But we are, real," she pleaded with me. "This desolation is the dream."

I wriggled out of her grasp and rolled over the edge and off of the tank, where I stood up. Funny, I was at eye level with her chest in this form. Not a bad view, if I do say so myself. Though, they were still a little small.

"I want you to be real," I told her, sighing. "I want that whole weird place you call home to be real. But then, if you were actually real, if you saw this, you would not welcome me so warmly. I'm a freak in your world... as I am in mine."

I reached up and removed my helmet, letting my unkempt, matted hair free. I turned my dirty face towards Luna and grinned. "If I ever wake up... I hope I remember both you and Celestia. The most unusual girls I have never met."

For some reason Luna was smiling at me. Funny. I would have thought my subconscious would be acting more sympathetic, as I am prone to moments of pathetic self-pity. Maybe my subconscious was fed up with me.

"Tell me, Selfen," she inquired, "in your world, is the order of things reversed? Are the females the ones who cannot talk?"

An odd change of subject. But, why not?

"They talk too much for my taste," I commented with a chuckle. "But... they were lovely and I did love them... some more than others. This upstart of an emperor knew what he liked and liked what he knew."

Luna, who was laughing with me, paused. "Emperor?"

"It was bargain day at the supermarket and they were just passing the title out," I chuckled dryly.

Luna nodded, giving me a curious stare. "You are a most unique individual, Selfen Surt."

I shrugged. "Well, I can hardly claim to be average. And I'm no liar, Luna. Believe it."

"I do," she said with an understanding nod. She looked at the sky as though there was something there. When I looked, all I saw was the sky. No sun. Dreams are weird. "Well, I really must be heading off, Selfen. I will leave you to your slumber."

"I may sleep for a couple days," I warned her.

"I understand," she replied with another nod. "I shall inform the staff to leave you be. Oh, and Selfen..."

"Yes?" I asked as I sat down on the sand and leaned my back against the tank.

"When you wake up, we will do all in our power to help you, and get to know you. Our home is yours as well."

I just smiled at her and watched as she vanished.

"Dreams is crazy," I muttered as I relaxed. "Though, it is stranger than usual. It's the first dream I've ever had where I'm not running."