A Different World

You know those times you have a great dream, but you forget it almost immedietely after you wake up? Perhaps sometimes you felt there was something important you wish you could remember? Ever had that feeling?

That's what I felt after waking up. I think it had something to do with Luna. But it was too foggy to recall much, and I was too hungry to care.

Remembering the buzzer, I quickly pressed it and requested pancakes from the miad who answered the door. No, it wasn't Sugar Beet. But she was no less cute... Great! I'm going native already. Has it really been that long since my last time?

Was there ever a first time? Ugh. I've taken too many hits to the head.

Wait, that's right, I had two kids. Aaaand, now I'm sad again.

Should have asked for some alcohol to go with those pancakes. They do have alcohol, right? Sweet merciful heavens. What if they didn't?

Well, if that's the case. Then I would just have invent it and then to show these ponies how to really party. For some reason I felt as though an excessively pink and happy pony was laughing at me. Strangely specific, I know.

When the maid returned with my pancakes, a veritable mountain of them, I asked her about the alcohol. Praise all that is holy, my fears were for not. I asked for dark beer, a lot of it.

And boy did she deliver.

"Princess Luna requests your audience in the palace spa once you've finished your breakfast, sir," the maid said excitedly, loving every time I responded to her. My voice was a tool to be abused.

I thanked her and she blushed something fierce. However, I stopped her when she turned to leave.

"Wait, please."

She turned and gave me a sweet smile. "Yes, sir? Is there anything else I can do for you?"

I gestured towards the door. "Could you leave that door ajar so that I'm not Trapped in here."

The mare gave me an odd look. "Trapped? But it is not locked." She turned around to stare at the door. "Hey, you two outside?"

Two heads peered around either side of the door. Mares in golden armor. Huh, they were guarding me. There were probably some outside the windows as well. Just to be safe, I stole a quick peek under the bed.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Hello, sir," waved the cute fanged pony beneath the bed. She wore dark blue armor, and had leathery bat wings. Not to mention a pair of lovely draconic eyes. I waved back and gave her smile. She giggled.

I sat back up straight and grabbed a pancake as I watched the dialogue between the maid and the golden guards. Yes, I am going to ignore the fact that there was a possible vampire beneath my bed. She seemed friendly enough.

"Did someone lock this stallion in this room at any point in the last few days?" the maid demanded tersely, giving the guards a stern glare. It was good to know the amount of time I had slept.

They both shook their heads. "Of course not. We'd lose our heads if we tortured this stallion."

The maid's glare darkened.

"Any stallion," the guard quickly corrected herself. "Aurgh. You knew what I meant. Suffice to say, the door has always been unlocked."

"But he says he couldn't get out," the maid responded, waving a hand at me. I really miss hands. It'd be so much easier to hold my stein of beer.

"If he was locked inside, all he would have to do is alert us and we'd force it open for him," the other guard told her. "Every shift has told us that the room has remained quiet. Save for his snoring."

"Learn something new everyday," I muttered. I did not know that I snored. I offered a pancake to the mare under the bed, as I had probably annoyed her all night long. She snatched it away and with a quick "thank you". I had a habit of making friends in strange places, no matter where I went.

How long had she been there anyway?

"I don't understand," the maid groaned as she examined the doorknob with the two guards. "It turns freely on the inside. Nothing's jamming it. How could he not get out?"

"Maybe, because I don't have hands," I spoke up, getting their attention. I held up a hoof for emphasis. "Makes things little complicated, dont'cha think?"

They stared at me like I had just grown an extra pair of eyes. "What?"

"Why didn't you use your magic?" one guard asked, pointed at something on my face. Magic? I think I had heard Celestia talking about that. Or was it Luna?

"What do you mean magic?" I asked, stealthily slipping another pancake to the mare under the bed. "Am I supposed to rip my hooves off to discover I've had hands this whole time?"

"Ugh, I hope not," one guard cried, turning green.

"Why would you even think that?" the other guard asked.

The maid looked thoughtful for a moment. Then she seemed to come to a conclusion. "Wait, I think I know what it is." She came up and gave me a hug. Rather physical, these ponies are. "We have to remember. He's an abused stallion, found wandering the streets. Whatever cruel mare held him captive must have neglected him something awful for him not to know what magic is."

Gee. These ponies were practically writing a backstory for me. Maybe I should stop them before they decide to publish it as a twelve part saga. Complete with a movie deal and a spin-off Saturday morning cartoon show.

She pushed herself back and patted the top of my head, though she had to stand on her tiptoes and jump just to reach. I think she forgot she had wings. "Don't worry. The princesses are going to make it all better for you. And we'll punish those monsters that did this to you."

Or maybe it would be a soap opera.