You'll Thank Me Later

The air is warm and sweet as I walk through the small town. The waning afternoon sun shines down gently and the sky is absolutely clear of clouds. The dirt road crunches under my boots and the street is mostly empty, save the occasional staring pony.

Time to assess the situation:

I am, as far as I can tell, completely alone in an alien world inhabited by talking cartoon animals. I am wounded, but not mortally, and I have no means of defending myself. In addition, the local government is aware of my presence and is watching my every move carefully. If they wanted to, they could kill me and absolutely nothing would change here. My best bet now is to try to bargain with the librarian to get my gear back, and maybe I can try to radio for help.

“Hey, you there!”

I recognize that voice, one of the ponies that found me spoke with the exact same southern drawl.

I stop walking and turn around slowly, trying not to strain my chest.

Down the road a ways is blonde horse with tan fur and a… cowboy hat? That’s weird.

“Sorry for runnin’ off on y’all earlier, but some Royal Guards kicked us out of the hospital after we brought ya in.”

So she IS one of the ones that found me on the ground.

“I’m fine, thank you for helping me.” I reply, trying to keep my answers short and to the point.

“Shucks, pardner. Nothin’ to it.”

She’s REALLY working that damn accent.

“So forgive ma asking, but what exactly ARE ya? I never seen anything like ya before.” She continues.

Careful, Isles. Don’t say more than you have to.

“I’m a human; why, never seen one of me before?”

She pauses and squints slightly, placing a hoof to her chin and looking down.

“No, I can’t say I have. But y’all seem friendly enough. Why, are there more of your kind around?”

I can’t tell if she’s lying to me. Did they find my cadets? Asking if the aircraft crashed nearby would be suspicious.

“I hope so.” I reply, looking at my boots.

“Well if I see any more, I’ll be sure to let y’all know!” She says cheerfully, raising her head.

“Say, why are y’all dressed like that, anyhow? Going dragon-watchin’?” She continues.

Wait a second, did she just say DRAGONS? Right now I REALLY wish I had my weapon. I look up and scan the blue skies.

“No, I’m actually looking for the library. Do you know where that is?”

She perks up again and nods.

“Of course I do! My good friend Twilight runs the place; I was actually headed by there now if y’all wanna follow me. ‘Course, you’re dressed awful heavy just to take out a book…”

“There’s a little more to it than that.” I reply.

“Well, as long as ya ain’t causin’ trouble I don’t see any reason not to help ya out.” She says.

We walk for a while through what looks like the market district of this small village. It’s very unsettling how many talking horses are staring at me. I respond by pulling the brim of my cover down over my eyes: The sooner I get to the library the better.

The sun is setting when we arrive at a massive oak tree with windows placed all over it. There’s a small door on the front and my guide pauses before it.

“Welp! Here we are!” she chirps. “Just head on in and ask for Twilight, she should help ya out with everything ya need. Just be careful, she’s a bit of a neatfreak.”

I nod appreciatively and touch the brim of my cover. Maybe I can extend some trust to this character.

“Thank you again, Miss…”

“Applejack!” She says. “But y’all can call me AJ. Sorry I have to run, but feel free to swing on by Sweet Apple Acres anytime!” She turns her head off to a rolling hill and gallops away. “Good luck!”

I want to call after her, but I’m still cautious to put stock in anyone I’ve met. Besides, I don’t want to cause any more of a scene than I already have by being here.

Okay, deep breaths, Sergeant. Just go in, get your gear, radio for help, and get the fuck out of here.

I walk up to the door and knock loudly with my knuckles; they took my gloves, too…

“Just a minute!” a young male voice calls back. That’s odd, everyone said the librarian was female.

I step back from the door and hear the lock click open. It swings back to reveal a small purple reptile staring back up at me with green eyes.

“Woah, what are YOU?” He asks.

“Look buddy, I don’t have a lot of time, is the libr-“

“Hey, you have fingers just like me!” He exclaims, using one hand to point to the other.

“Huh. We’re two of a kind. But I seriously need to see the librarian RIGHT. NOW.” I say, trying to relate to what I assume is a young child.

He sighs out loud and rolls his eyes before turning his head into the spacious library.

“Hey Twilight, there’s someone here to see you!”

“One minute, Spike! Bring them inside!” A voice calls from upstairs.

The lizard, who I assume is Spike, shrugs and holds the door open for me as I enter. I step into the warm, bright library and remove my cover from my head, taking in the welcoming smell of cedar.

“So what are you, man? I’ve never seen anything like you before. Hey, you’re not a dragon too, are you?”

I open my mouth to reply but the sound of metal falling onto a hard surface interrupts me. The loud clatter of hooves clacking on steps quickly tells me that the librarian is coming.

She appears and trots down the steps to face me, her purple form stops suddenly as our eyes lock.

My body freezes up as I notice the horn on her head; I know what unicorns are capable of.

“Oh, it’s you!” She says. I recognize her voice also.

“I’ll go get tea.” Spike says, walking out of the room.

“Yes, it is. Thanks for saving me earlier.” I reply, standing at ease.

“You can feel free to sit down, Sergeant.” She says.

Woah, woah! FUCK! How did she know that? The uniform is obvious but most people can’t tell just by looking at my collar devices.

“Impressive. How could you tell?” I say, sitting carefully in an armchair facing hers.

“I read a lot, and my brother’s in the military. In fact, he’s the Captain of the Royal Guard!”

Holy shit, Isles: you’re playing with fire here.

“How could you tell I’m an NCO?” I ask, taking the cup of warm liquid Spike brings out on a wooden platter, in a white apron to boot.

“Non-commissioned officer? Easy.” The young mare replies, sipping her mug quietly. “Five stripes means Sergeant of some sort, right?”

“Right.” I say, placing the cup on the table in front of me. I almost came close to taking a sip, but I won’t drink anything they give me.

“So you’re here for your stuff, right? I’ve been looking at your equipment for hours now and none of it makes any sense to me.” She says, taking another sip but maintaining eye contact with me.

“I am, and I need it back ASAP.”

“I don’t know if I can give it all back, but if you come upstairs and help me understand how it works, I’ll see what I can do.” She replies.

DEAL. If I can just get close to my weapon, my odds suddenly get a lot better.

“By all means.” I reply.

She stands up and we walk up the stairs to a wider level with much fewer bookshelves. There are rooms off to the side and on a desk I see my pack lying open with its contents arranged carefully around the surface. The librarian leads me slowly over to the table.

“Now, most of this stuff is pretty basic; rope, tarp, boot polish. You even had a really big knife and some bandages in there. There’s a few things I can’t figure out, though.” She says, looking over my gear,

Her horn glows dark purple and my blood chills, but I see that she is using her magic to open a drawer and produces…

MY RADIO.

“This I just fail to understand. It’s obviously some sort of electrical device, but what does it DO?”

Do I tell her? Maybe I should. I REALLY need that fucking thing.

“That’s my radio. I use it to wirelessly send voice messages to other people. May I have it back? I want to try to establish contact with my people as soon as possible.”

“We’ll see.” She replies, brushing off my request.

“Here’s the next item, this thing just looks like an over-complicated mirror.” She says, levitating the pilot’s PDA.

Maybe if I make it seem unimportant, she’ll just let me have it. I have to know what caused me to end up here…

“That’s pretty much all it is. It’s a Combat Mirror, used for keeping clean in the field.”

I really hope she’s one of those nerds that’s easy to mess with.

“Seriously?” She asks, her ears laying back. She obviously seemed interested in it, but I can’t let her have the information stored on there.

“Yep. Gotta keep clean to keep healthy.”

“Well, hygiene is an important part of fighting infectious diseases, so I suppose that makes sense.” She says, tapping a hoof to her chin. “You can have it.”

She drops the PDA in my waiting hands. I need to guard the information on here with my LIFE. It may hold the answers to all of my questions.

“And finally, there’s this thing.” She says, floating the M9 above her head before letting it rest in her hoof.

“It appears simple enough, just pins and springs on a sliding platform. There was a box inside of it that contained these little metal cartridges.” She levitates a .9mm round off the table.

“I opened one up and it had seven grains of explosive powder in it, but that’s pretty much it. I can’t really figure this thing out at all, is it a bomb or something?”

“Not really, it-”

I get cut off by a loud bang as one of the windows explodes. The dumb bitch actually PULLED the trigger!

She jumps back and drops the Beretta to the floor, falling onto her back haunches.

I shake my head and snatch the weapon off the floor, engaging the safety.

“That’s amazing! I mean, the window’s going to need to be replaced, but that’s not important. I never would have thought that they made canons that small! And self-propelling ammunition? Brilliant!” She squeals, stomping her hooves excitedly.

This thing is too dangerous; I need it back before she kills the both of us.

“What was that?!” Spike yells, running up the stairs with a broom in his hands.

“Nothing, Spike. The Sergeant was showing me how his weapons work. The librarian replies.

“Miss Sparkle, I really do need my weapon back.” I say, cutting in.

“Oh, call me Twilight. And are you sure? There are a lot more tests I want to run on it…” She says, looking at the sidearm sadly.

I pause for a minute. I need that back as soon as possible, but building relations with the locals would help, too. An idea strikes my brain:

“Tell you what, if you return my gear and weapons to me, I’ll let you keep some ammunition.”

Booya! Her eyes light up and her ears point straight at me.

“Really?! Are you sure? This is incredible technology and there’s so much we could learn from it! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” She squeals.

Jesus, why are nerds always so fucking jumpy?

“It’s a fair deal.” I reply, clipping my Aircrew Survival Knife to my web belt and tucking the M9 in snugly. I need to fashion a holster of some sort so I don’t lose this. Another thought occurs to me.

“By the way, did my radio go off at any point in time?” I ask, pulling my pack on and taking a thirsty gulp from my Camelbak.

“You mean did it get any messages? No, why? Are you expecting any?” She replies.

Damn. Maybe it’s not on.

“May I see it for a moment?”

“Sure, maybe you could help me activate it. It would be very interesting to interact with more of your kind.”

Your kind. There’s that term again, it feels so wrong to be the alien here.

I take the radio from the air she’s suspending it in and turn the volume dial until it clicks into the ‘on’ position, the light fails to come on.

SHIT.

“Hang on…” I mutter, pulling off the battery cover to reveal my worst fear:

The batteries are corroded: the crash must have ruined them.

“Something wrong?” Twilight asks.

“The batteries are shot; I can’t get it to work.” I say, smacking the leaking cases out of the radio.

She pauses for a moment, once more placing a hoof to her chin.

“Hmm… I’ll tell you what, if you leave the gun with me, I’ll see if I can fix your radio.”

Mother of fuckballs, she handed me an ultimatum. I can either go it alone here with the ability to kill anything I damn well please, or I can risk it and try to get in contact with the outside world. Mother FUCKER!

I pause, trying not to let my desperation show through.

“Fine, but I want to keep the knife if that’s alright.”

“That’s fine! I was only instructed to hold on to this thing until the Royal Guard comes for you. Did I mention my brother is the captain?”

I grit my teeth and pull the Beretta off my waist and hand it to her.

Fuck. Now they’re coming after me AND I have nothing to defend myself with but a blade. Screwby.

“Did you get any word when they would be coming?” I ask, looking out the shattered window.

“Sometime tomorrow. You’re welcome to spend the night here if you want, though.” She offers.

Hell to the no. No way in fucking HELL am I staying here.

“Thank you for the offer, but I’ll take my chances on my own.” I reply, placing a hand on the hilt of my knife and turning to leave.

“Where do you plan on going? It’s dark outside and the Everfree Forest can get… dangerous.” She says.

“I’ll do alright.” I say, walking down the stairs and ducking to avoid hitting the ceiling.

Everfree forest. Got it. Get there, dig a sleeping hole, pitch the tarp, make a plan.

“Seriously, it’s not safe out there!” she calls after me.

I’d rather take my chances against wild animals than a civilization of politically volatile talking horses.

“Thank you, ma’am.” I say, stepping out into the warm evening air.