The Relapse

Griffons are interesting, or at least, Selene is. The other day after everyone had gone home and I was looking over some papers in my office, there was a knock at my door.

“Oh, hey Selene,” I greeted the griffon as she walked in, “need something?” She stopped in front of my desk and made one claw walk on the other.

“…You want me to go with you somewhere?” I asked and she nodded before raising her claws defensively, “No, it’s not a problem, just give me a minute.” With a smile and nod, she left me to finish my paperwork. A minute later, we were leaving the building and I was following Selene down the street.

“So where are we going? I can’t take too long,” I said as I thought briefly about what to make Dew Star for dinner. Selene suddenly stopped, making me stop, and turned around to look at me sheepishly before shrugging her shoulders.

“You don’t know where we’re going?” I asked and she nodded embarrassedly, “Or, you don’t know how to get where we’re going?” She looked up at me hopefully as she nodded more enthusiastically as if to say, ‘that’s what I really meant.’

“Okay, where were you trying to go?” I asked, making her sit and think for a few seconds before looking back up at me. She reached out a claw and tugged on my jack, making me think for a few seconds as to what that meant.

“…You want clothes?” I asked and a big smile stretched across her face as she nodded happily, “Oh, well unfortunately I get my clothes custom made by a mare that doesn’t live in the city, so I don’t know where ponies normally go to get clothes.” Selene deflated as her smile faded.

“…But I do know another mare that should be able to help,” I continued, making her smile return as I pulled out my old wallet and retrieved a business card, “and what do you know, it’s not too far from here. Let’s go.” Leading the way down the busy streets, I led Selene to a clothing store owned by one of Rarity’s model friends with a name I forgot right after I met her, but I couldn’t remember why I forgot so quickly. I couldn’t remember much about her actually, and I’m really good with remembering people, so that was an immediate red flag.

When we reached the shop we found that it was open, but no one was inside for whatever reason. Walking in, a familiar bell sounded, letting the mare that owned the shop know she had customers.

“Welcome, welcome!” a French accent called out to us from the back of the place as the sound of hooves approached, “I see you have great taste in fashion if you came to my shop! Can I help-oh. It’s the monkey.” It was right then that I remembered the mare that owned the shop: Fleur De Lis, a rather popular model in the fashion and stallion communities. With practically snow-white fur, long legs, expertly styled pink and white mane, and sensually huge eyes, it’s not all that hard to see why ponies admire her. Too bad I can’t say I feel the same as practically every stallion and a few mares do.

“Hello, Fleur,” I greeted flatly as she stopped a few paces away from me.

“I thought I told you to never speak my name with that disgusting mouth of yours,” she replied with a disgusted look.

“…Right,” I sighed as I looked down at Selene and remembered why I was there, “look, I just came here because my friend needs some clothes. Can you help her?” Fleur’s eyes narrowed before looking at Selene and returning to their usual sensual state as a smile graced her face.

“Oh, well why didn’t you say so sooner, you animal,” she said casually, even the insult, “of course I can help. What are you looking for, my dear?” I took a step back and folded my arms as Fleur approached Selene who looked at me with a furrowed brow before focusing on Fleur. Taking a second to look around her but not finding what she looking for, she mimed something being around her neck.

“Hmm,” Fleur hummed in thought for a second, “an ascot? Oh, on you that would look magnifique! I should have something in your color.” Apparently, that wasn’t what Selene wanted, if her shaking head was anything to go by, but Fleur wasn’t paying attention as she started to drag Selene away with her magic.

“I don’t think she meant an ascot, whatever that is,” I spoke up, stopping Fleur in her tracks.

“Well, I wouldn’t expect a beast like you to know anything about fashion, so that has to be what she meant. What else could she mean?” Fleur sneered at me.

“To be fair, you got me on that one, but I think she wants a scarf, right?” I said and Selene nodded furiously.

“Well, you should have said so, Dear. I just so happened to finish making a few,” Fleur continued, unfazed by her mistake, “right this way.” Not waiting on Selene to reply in any way, Fleur pulled her to a part of the shop where all kinds of scarves hung on racks and mannequins.

“Oh, this one looks perfect,” Fleur said as her magic let go of Selene and grabbed a golden scarf with her cutie mark on one end before wrapping it around Selene. Looking at herself in the mirror for all of one second, Selene shook her head as she pulled the cloth off.

“No problem, how about this one?” Fleur draped a sparkling brown scarf that also had her cutie mark on it on Selene, but she didn’t like that one either, “Hmm… This one?” This exchange went on for four more scarves before Selene had enough and stepped away from Fleur.

“What’s wrong, Dear?”

“I don’t think she likes any of them,” I answered for Selene and she nodded in confirmation.

“Well what do you know, you ape-”

“Nothing, you pointed that out earlier.”

“Then leave the fashion to those with more common sense, you brute.”

“You got it.”

“Now, if you don’t like any of these, tell me what you don’t like about them so I can make you a personal one,” Fleur asked Selene sweetly. Selene glanced up at me for whatever reason before pointing to Fleur’s flank and making me snort.

“Is something funny, you mongrel?”

“N-no, it’s just that I don’t like your cutie mark either,” I answered through my grin.

“How dare you insult me!” she exclaimed as she stomped up to me and jabbed a hoof in my stomach, “I was just being nice to you in front of Rarity because she’s my friend, but to think she’s friends with an uncouth barbarian like you is absurd!”

“So you’re insulting Rarity’s taste in friends then?” I asked as my smile faded.

“Perhaps, I’m just shocked she would even associate with trash like you.”

“Ouch. Haven’t been called trash in a long while, but looking around, I can see you like to surround yourself with it. No wonder I’m so cozy.”

“Excuse me?!” she shouts.

“What? You said yourself, what do I know about fashion?” Apparently, I pushed her buttons a little too hard because her horn flared with magic before I was suddenly lifted off the ground.

“Woah there, put me down,” I advised as she held me a few feet off the floor.

“I don’t think so,” she said as she held me upside down, “I don’t know why, but you really irritate and upset me. I think the world could really do without you.”

“Okay, now that’s going a little too far, don’t you think?”

“Hmm, you’re right. A little punishment will be enough,” she said as I felt pressure slowly build up around my right wrist, “one of your precious hands should suffice.”

“Alright, I’m not-” I started to say before I was suddenly dropped on my head. I lay on my side for a few moments, swearing and rubbing my head before I looked up and found Selene with her claw gripping Fleur’s horn.

“Let go of me this instant, you filthy bird!” she commanded.

“Yeah, let her go,” I added, making Selene look back at me hesitantly, “it’s fine.” The two stared at each other for a second before Selene let go and Fleur took a few steps back.

“I should have known you were just as rude as this monster if you’re friends with him,” Fleur seethed as she rubbed her horn, “now leave before I call the guards.”

“Don’t mind if we do,” I groaned as I stood up, stopping Selene from approaching Fleur, “you have a good evening.”

“Out!” she shouted. With that, the two of us left the shop with the door slamming behind us.

“I honestly don’t know why she has a problem with me,” I told Selene as we watched the blinds magically cover the windows, “sorry for dragging you into that. If I remembered, I wouldn’t have brought you here.” Selene simply shook her head as she looked up at me with concerned eyes. I watched her look down at my wrist and lightly touch it with a claw.

“I’m fine,” I confirmed as I rubbed and flexed my hand, “trust me, I’ve been through worse.” The concern in her eyes changed to surprise then curiosity, making me chuckle lightly.

“Maybe I’ll tell you some other time; I’ve got to get home for dinner.” A smile and nod was all I got from Selene before she took off into the sky towards home, but not without waving back at me before disappearing behind a cloud. I wonder if I should tell Rarity about this?

Dear Princesses,

He totally called her his friend, right?

Sincerely,

Crystal Beth

Dear Princesses,

He must have said that on accident, or just to get just to get the point across; you know how Comet is.

Sincerely,

Dew Star