Author's Note

You're probably gonna want some context for this. (If you don’t care, read the bold text at least)

This book has two iterations: Original and C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀. These iterations contain similar scenes written at different times (2015-17 vs. 2023-). Both take place around Season 5.

The Original version was meant to be somewhat serious, as it was an attempt to write a fun fanfiction of a zombie pony apocalypse. It is, also, not very good.

The C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version is meant to be a comedic rewrite of the Original, as it wants to have a good time while making fun of the stupidity in the Original. This version is anything but innocent and can get offensive.

I personally recommend sticking with the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version, and only referring to the Original when you grow curious about how the two are different. But you do you. C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ readers will also notice the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version shift from a bizarre, chaotic, comedy-like story to a more subtle, story-driven, story-like story.

Quick Backstory:
The Original version of this book is my unfinished, retired rough draft of my other, finished book: "The Equestrian Apocalypse". It's been sitting here since 2017, and it sucks. I decided it would be fun to play around with it, so I started creating a C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version to make fun of it. Update: This quickly got out of hand. Help me. I can't stop. Anyway, the Original version will not be edited any further. It's whole purpose is to show you what the book was supposed to be, which could make the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version even funnier.

This is the Original version, which was written by an inexperienced 15 year old with too much time on his hands.

Good Morning, Devan

"Is that enough?" I continued tossing apples in the cart. Applejack was planning to make a massive supper and dessert for her next family reunion. I'd overheard her special dessert, though she kept it completely secret, was an apple chocolate cake. Even despite this appeasing course, I would have helped her out regardless. I had always been a big help to her ... though I stood out very much.

I'm the only human there is, or ever was, and maybe ever will be, in Equestria. I had been sent here by the four alicorn princesses with their combined, amazing alicorn magic and energy to help out with Equestria's progression. I hadn't put the offer down, because I already knew so much about Equestria, and my life back on Earth wasn't exactly what it was cracked up to be. I felt much better in Equestria. I felt much ... safer.

"I reckon so. Thank ya' for helpin' out, Devan. Couldn't have finished on time without ya'." She hooked up to the cart.

"Sure thing. Do you want me to help anymore? I can pull the cart," I offered.

"Nah, you've done enough for me. Thank ya' sugarcube." She lifted the cart. "And one other thing ... Pinkie's been having a lotta twitches and ... well, ya know ... her Pinkie sense is acting up. Could you go see if she's alright? I checked on her this morning, but I need some reassurance," she requested.

"Alright."

"Thanks." She smiled and hauled the apples away.

I began my route to Sugarcube Corner where Pinkie was supposed to be. On the way, I thought about what AJ had said. Pinkie hadn't had any sort of twitches in a long time, and thinking that she could be having a lot worried me. Still, I took into consideration that it could just be an exaggeration of something small.

That got me thinking that I hadn't seen Pinkie much in the past few days. She hadn't been out as much as she used to, and I hadn't seen her host a party in so long.

But Pinkie loves parties ... I thought out loud, She wouldn't lose interest all of a sudden ...

My thoughts were swirling, but died down by the time I got to Sugarcube Corner. Mrs. Cake opened up and welcomed me in.

"Welcome back, Devan. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Sure has," I replied, "Um ... Mrs. Cake? May I go up and see Pinkie for a minute?"

"Oh, sure. But be gentle on her, she's been acting quite strange lately."

I knocked on the door when I got up there.

"Pinkie, it's me, Devan. Can I come in?"

She opened it up a crack and peeked around me cautiously before grabbing me and throwing me inside, shutting the door behind her.

"Uh, Pin-"

"Shh!" she uttered.

"Pinkie, what's wrong?" I started to worry.

"AJ told you about these twitches, didn't she?"

"Yeah?"

"Devan. Something terrible is about to happen. I have no idea what it could be, because it doesn't follow a pattern I know. Heck. It doesn't follow a pattern at all. All I can sense is that something is about to happen, and there's no doubt it's something bad," she explained.

There was a bit of silence as I tried to soak this all in. Pinkie paced back and forth, looking out the window occasionally. I noticed that she had a big bandage wrapped around her leg, but I thought nothing of it. I'd noticed that Pinkie liked trying crazy stunts in my stay. It wasn't out of the ordinary that she would have on bandages.

"Have you been doing alright?"

"I'm fine, besides this annoying-" she twitched, "twitching."

"Do you suppose we should see Twi about this?"

"That would be great ... I would've gone sooner, but I'm just ... too afraid to even leave the shop." She expressed her concerns through her facial expressions.

"I'll leave with you and make sure nothing bad happens." I smiled in the hopes of relieving some of her stress.

"Sounds great. Thanks."

I followed her to Twi's castle, noticing the lack of her step on the way. Pinkie would usually be hopping or skipping around, but she actually looked like she was dragging her hooves.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine ... let's just ... get to the castle."

It was mostly silent the rest of the way, and I was kind of paranoid with every step I took. Once we saw the view of the castle, it made both of us feel better. Pinkie didn't seem to be dragging her hooves anymore, and I wasn't feeling as paranoid.

We walked up to the front door, and I got ready to knock. Right before I did, the door flung open, knocking me flat out on the ground. My head started thumping. How simultaneous.

"I'm so sorry Devan!" Twi helped me up and closed the door behind her.

"What's the urgency?" I asked.

"Princess Celestia wants me at the castle right now," she answered quickly.

"Oh ... well, Pinkie's been having a lot of twit-"

"Twitches? It's probably just a piano dropping or something. Look, I gotta go. Sorry!" She took off in a heartbeat. Pinkie looked at me and frowned.

"It'll be okay," I reassured. She twitched a few more times.

"Maybe we should see Zecora ... might be something she can do," I suggested.

"Not a bad idea. Let's go." She twitched again.

On our way to Zecora, it was silent again, though Pinkie definitely wasn't dragging her hooves, and I had to keep up with her. We started to walk through the Everfree forest. I hadn't been this way in a while, but there's no doubt that it was at least twice as creepy than before. It wasn't even night time yet, and I was glad it wasn't. Halfway there, Pinkie stopped and twitched a little bit.

"Pinkie? Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine ... I'm fine. Just go ahead. I'll ... catch up," she said. Her wary voice worried me.

"No, I'll stay back with you."

"I'm just going t-" she started, but then abruptly fell to the ground. Her pink skin had began turning pale.

"Pinkie? Pinkie, are you alright?" I shook her. "Pinkie ... what's the matter? Tell me, please!"

"I ... don't know."

I looked her over, and noticed the bandage again.

"Pinkie ... what's underneath this bandage?"

"Nothing!" She snapped, "I mean ... nothing ... just a scratch."

"A scratch? Why would you need such a big bandage for a scratch?"

Her cheeks went red in nervousness.

"Pinkie ... what happened?"

She closed her eyes and cringed. "Okay! I ... give up." She slowly unwrapped the bandage around her leg to show a bloody patch, as if somepony had bit her. It wasn't pretty, and a menacing purple bruise surrounded it. I looked on with awe.

"Pinkie ... what bit you?"

"I was walking around the Everfree Forest when a green-looking pony jumped out. I thought he was sick at first, and went over to help him. But he grabbed my leg and sunk his teeth into it. I managed to get away, but his bite has been hurting ever since." She looked at me with sad eyes. "A ... zombie pony ..."

I couldn't believe it. There was going to be a zombie apocalypse in Equestria? No ... we had magic, right? I just needed to find a unicorn, and fast.

"Pinkie, we have to get help ... like, right now!"

"Devan, I can't ... I can hardly walk right now."

She was right. The bite looked horrible, and she looked drained of strength. Her twitching was dying down, which made me worry even more.

"Pinkie, I can help you walk ... come on. Get up!"

"Devan ..." her eyes closed. I began to panic. Looking around, it was getting darker and there were nasty clouds forming above us.

I tried to pick her up, but she was too heavy. I couldn't leave her here on her own, though there wasn't much time left to carry her. I didn't know what else to do, and I eventually broke down. I hugged her tightly. Tearing up, I wished to Celestia that somepony would arrive to help us. I wished that it would be a unicorn to use magic on her.

"Pinkie, please. You've got to wake up ... come on. Pinkie ..." I couldn't help but sobbing. "Pinkie ..."

She started moving again, and I was relieved for a split second, until I saw how pale she had become in the past minute. Before I could move, she woke straight up, causing me to jump and push her back a ways. She leaped at me, and I knew this was it. She had turned, and there was nothing I could do.

"Pinkie, no! Stop it, this isn't you!" I hollered, backing up on my bottom quickly. I couldn't find the strength to get up through my shocked reality of needing to run, and before I could do anything, she sprung farther than I thought she could, and landed on my left arm, sinking her teeth into it. I couldn't hold in a scream. It hurt horribly, and I knew that it was over, whether I got away or not.

Somehow I managed to swat her off my arm and scramble to my feet. It was the toughest decision I'd made, but I had to run away. I looked back before I lost total vision, and it hurt to see Pinkie lobbing over to me. Her eyes had turned whitish, and the bite made her turn a pale green. I looked back at the bite before covering it up with my jacket.

On my way back, I prayed that magic could fix this. Magic had been stronger than anything I'd ever seen, and there had to be a spell to get her and I back to normal. There had to.