Haha this is great.

The previously bland walls of the hopital shimmered and danced in my visions. The white marbly floor shiftin’ around was makin me nuaseous, but I continued stumbling through the hallway. It was getting late… or… early?

HAHAHA!

I could see Celestias sun starting to rise, peeking through the front windows of the hospital lobby. Thankfuly, Blaze… no… Drift was the one on guard duty. Good thing it wasnt, like, Twi… or Dash.

HAHAHA!

Walking beside me was my new friend, Fred. He was a golden shepherd dog that could talk. He’d informed me about the upcoming whether forecast, talkin’ bout how we were gonna get some snow. I debated this ridiculous idea. There was also a white cat on my other side. We did not like the cat.

“Meow meow, nigga.”

Stupid cat. We did not like the cat.

“Fuck this cat,” I commented.

“On it, boss,” Fred replied.

What?

Fred shifted to my other side an got behind the racist cat. Before I could intrevene, he jumped up on the cat and began fucking it doggy-style.

“No, Fred, no! Don’t do that! You might get rabies!”

“I am immune to the coronavirus,” he stated.

“Oh.”

I decided to leave Fred alone with the racist cat. This acid trip was something else. I remembar taking it in the past, but I don’t ramember it being this strong. Reguardless, this stuffs makin me hungry! With my stomach rumbling, I made my way to the cafeteria.

I made my way to the cafeteria. Unfoturnately, I made my way to the cafeteria. No. Unfortanately, the girls, Jen and Abby, were already in there when I made my way to the cafeteria.

Shiiiiiit. Imma just grab me a snack an leave, because I know their gonna harass me. I also dont’ wanna talk to Abby. big Booty bitch.

They noticed me as I grabbed… what is this? Yellow blob.

HAHAHA!

Oh… it’s sunchip. s. Good. I grabbed the chips and made my way out of the cafeteria. I walked out of the cafeteria. I made my way out of the cafeteria. After walking out of the cafeteria, Jen got up from her seat to come after me walking out of the cafeteria. damn. I should go outside. The others might be wakin' up too. I gotta shake this off.

Shake it off, shake it off, uh uh!

HAHAHA!

Okay, D’mitry. I hate to do this to ya, but I think I’m gonna step in and help you out here.

“HAHAHA, what??” he asked.

“Wait… what?!” he asked again.

You’re far too tripped out to narrate right now. Take a breather.

“Whoa…”

D’mitry held his head, taking a moment to understand what the Author was saying. This was a weird change to him, but he was tripping his balls off on acid, so it wasn’t that unbelievable. He shook his head and continued down the hallway, getting distracted by the sudden animated murals all over the walls watching him walk by. After stumbling a few times, he ignored the faces watching him and made it to the end of the hall.

Once outside, he stumbled around the corner of the hospital to hide away from a tracking Jen. This back side of the hospital cast a shadow, seeing as it faced west, away from Celestia’s rising sun. He ignored the kiddie swimming pool with Tom Cruise and Elmo in it and made his way past them.

He’d brought his chainsaw backpack with him. He deemed this too heavy to deal with right now, so he set it up against the back wall. Leaning up against the wall beside him and smoking a cigarette was a gray, 7-foot-tall alien creature who promised to keep his five eyes on it. D’mitry shivered slightly in the shadow of the hospital before busting open the bag of chips, accidentally spilling some on the grass.

He didn’t mind. There were still chips in the bag, which he began scoffing down as if he hadn't eaten since the princesses brought him into this world. As he was preoccupied with this, Jen rounded the corner to come and speak with him. He eventually noticed and annoyingly sighed to himself.

“D’mitry. What the hell is wrong with you??” she called, walking up to meet him.

“Nom nom nom!”

The idiot could not formulate a cohesive sentence at the moment. Not only did he have chips in his open mouth, but he was also tripping out from LSD, which he’d ingested a mere hour ago. Jen snagged the chips out of his hand, which he was still occasionally dropping some from. This caused the idiot to lose his balance and stumble to the ground, where he awkwardly pushed himself back to his knees.

“Are you for real, D’mitry? Getting high now? What did you even take? You look absolutely smoked right now.”

D’mitry pushed himself to a stand, almost falling over in the process. He did not care that Jen was pestering him with these seemingly pointless questions. He instead reached out to snatch his chips back, starting to fall once more as he failed to get them. Jen, apologetic to this idiot, dropped the chips before reaching out and holding his shoulders to prevent his fall. She wrapped her fingers around until they were set on the sides.

“D’mitry, please. Can you hear me right now?”

“Naaaaaaaaaaaah-”

“Stop. Just snap out of this, would you? At least tell me what you took.”

He ignored her, instead staring into her baby-blue eyes as if he were searching for the lost city of Atlantis. He smiled, taken back by her beauty.

“You’re so preeeeetty.”

“Thank you… but please. What did you take?”

“I’m in love with you. Let’s start a family together.”

He pushed himself forward for a kiss, but Jen was too thrown off by this sudden proposal. She disconnected his shoulders and side-stepped, watching him fall face-first to the ground again. The idiot tried pushing himself up, but he couldn’t do it at the moment. He instead rolled over and gazed up at her.

“Ruuuuuuuuuuuuude.”

She angrily glared down at him.

“D’mitry! Tell me what you took, right now, or I will get Twilight.”

“Whatever!”

She didn’t really want to escalate things, but seeing D’mitry like this was starting to bother her. She was afraid for his well-being right now, so she shook off some sudden emotions and made her way back inside to grab Princess Twilight.

Meanwhile, the blundering idiot managed to sit up. He wanted to grab his chips, but he noticed something off in the tree line behind the hospital. His vision was dazed, and everything was bouncing around nauseatingly, but he focused on it.

The figure he saw was Pete.

He couldn’t believe it. Pete stood there at the forest line with a rifle in his hands, glaring back at him. D’mitry tried to blink him away, but Pete stood firmly in place. An unusual piece of white cloth was wrapped over his jacketed chest, with a few blood stains that looked like bullet holes on them. Despite how abnormal this looked, D’mitry realized it may actually be real.

Pete’s glare suddenly morphed into a wicked smirk. Another boy then appeared from behind him, his chest similarly wrapped with strange white cloth. Running down the middle of it was a thin red, blood-stained line. This red line ran off the cloth and up into his neck, where it disappeared under his chin. D’mitry wasn’t quite sure what to make of this until he noticed the boy was holding a jet-black colored leash. The boy tugged on the leash, and out from behind Pete came…

Cloudchaser.

His eyes widened, as did hers. Her neck was tied up to this leash. She’d been taken hostage again. He had no idea what to make of all this. As he analyzed the boys, he noticed Tom Cruise jump out of the kiddie pool in his peripheral vision. He turned his head to see Tom jumping up and down on the grass frantically, pointing at the two boys.

“They’ve got the speed! They have it!”

As Elmo clumsily fell out of the kiddie pool too, D’mitry noticed Pete and the other boy quickly turn around, tugging Cloud’s leash for her to follow. Within seconds, they began running off with her.

D’mitry quickly, clumsily, and frantically picked himself off the ground. He realized they were gaining ground, but he was still unarmed. He staggered as little as he possibly could as he rushed back to the wall for his backpack. Despite lugging the heavy pack out with him, he’d neglected to grab his Beretta as well.

As he kneeled down to grab the pack, the alien said, “I kept it safe for you, babuski. It should be good to travel through the Omega quadrant now. Let me know if you need any more bubblypoison.”

“Ight, thanks,” D’mitry replied, quickly flinging the pack over his shoulder.

He fell over in the process, but after frantically pushing himself upright, he staggered before taking off for the tree line. Elmo rushed across the grass and began running alongside him.

“This is just like Vietnam!” the soaking-wet muppet hollered.

D’mitry hadn’t expected Elmo to be so damn fast, but he realized this was a good thing as they gave chase. Elmo actually managed to pass him, but the muppet screamed out “Booby Trap!” before tripping and falling into a black hole that suddenly formed on the stump of a tree.

“No! Elmo!”

Elmo was dead. Just like that. He had no time to grieve, as he could barely make out the backs of the boys’ heads running away. They both weaved through bushes ahead of him with Cloud right on their tail. He wondered why Cloud wasn’t putting up more of a fight so he could catch up as he gave chase.

The trees swayed and flashed at him, the grass seemingly growing and shrinking as he ran over it. The brightening sky danced over his head, the enormous cumulonimbus clouds from yesterday still lingering over the horizon. He took a quick second during his chase to look at them, noticing they were slowly morphing into menacing rainclouds.

Unbeknownst to him, he chased the boys for the next twenty minutes. This only felt like a minute to him as he struggled to not run into trees or lose sight of them. He made his way through the forest, which only grew denser around him. It was only when the boys suddenly stopped that he realized this.

“Hey! Asshole!!!” he called, rushing to catch up with them.

“What, D’mitry?” Pete called, turning around. As he did, D’mitry froze at the sight. It wasn’t Pete anymore. It was… Jen??

W̸̪̮̲̆͂͊̆͐͛͠h̵̲͎͎̉́̎a̴̩̐̄̀͒͑̏͝t̸̢̳͖͚̉͌̄ ̵̛̟̗̪̼͕̖̂̇͜͠͝ť̵̛̟͔̙̼̠̻̾͋̆̀ͅh̴̨̨̛͍̙̲́́̂͠e̵͚̊̋̈́͆͝ ̶̢̘̺̪̍͆̒̊̚ḩ̵̡̢̡͍̪͛́e̷̡͚͉̲͛́ļ̴̣͇̪͌̀͛̎ͅĺ̴̢̤̜̤̲̬̼̚͘ŝ̵̙̯̪̗͍̓̉̇̋̈̿ ̸̧͖̑͐͆͆̌͆̚ģ̷̰̲̪͍̹͌̐̐͝ó̶̦͇͗̎̕i̷̝͒n̷̼̜̿͛͌̓g̸̢̡̣̕ ̸̡͖̞̬̰͗̅͑͋ö̵̫̜̘͎̘́̿͆̎̓̽͝ņ̸̦̦̺̳͚͐̚̕ͅ?̴̨͖̥̜̼̈̍͜͠͝?̸̢̞̭̥̯̖̃̇͆͒͘̚

“Whoa, huh…” I stuttered.

Jesus, what’s happening? What is this?

Jen stood in front of me now, where I thought Pete was. To make matters worse, the other boy turned around, just to reveal he was Abby. I was still tripping my balls off, but I think that run took some of it out of me, or something. I took a second to glance around, realizing I was lost as fuck now.

“Great,” Cloud said, “The racist followed us.”

“Bruh…”

Jen handed the leash over to Abby before placing her hands on her hips and walking up to me.

“Why are you in love with me?”

“What?”

“You should love Abby more. She’s got a big booty.”

…

I was starting to come to my senses, kinda, realizing this might not be real. I closed my eyes and held my head, struggling to squander a weird wooshy sound jumping between my ears. This is the last time I’m taking any of that cursed-ass LSD. Maybe it was laced or something.

When I shook my head and looked up again, Cloud was gone. Jen and Abby stood side by side in front of me, and Abby was wearing the leash around her neck now.

“Uhh… where did Cloud go?” I asked.

“Bet you’d love to know, pony fucker,” Abby replied.

…

“What?”

Jen huffed. “The Author would like to speak with you.”

“What??”

D’mitry.

…

Author, what the hell is going on?!

You’re ţ̵̂̅̀͌͌̽̍́r̷̜̟͍͛͛̍̋͠͝ḯ̷͇͚̒͂̔p̴̼̹̩̮̲̈́̓̀̽̇͒͒p̸̡̩̍̀̏̅͐͆̇i̴̤̞̮̼͂ņ̷͈̻̪̙̪̓̈͆͐̌̚͠ͅģ̴̛̓̒ ̷͎͉̠͙͇̩͚̓͒̑̋̅̇̿͝o̵͉̲͎͍̼̦̞͠ut.

Huh??

Jen and Abby’s stares were distracting me, so I looked away toward some trees to my left to focus while talking with the Author.

You good, Author?

D’mitr̶̢̢̮̣̣͇̻̮͗͆̑͝ŷ̶̧͎̭͔̯̮̯,̸̢̥̖͓̦̞̯̤͒̂̿́̀͌͋̉ ̶̢͉̱̤̥̰̭̹͂͆̂Ỉ̷̦͇̈͆͜'̴̨͚̦͉̌̈́̓ṃ̷͊̀̾̐ ̸̨͙͓͍̱̑s̶͔̒̉͌̔̔̇͗ö̷̯͍̬̃̓̋͗̉̀͝r̴ry.

Sorry? Sorry for what? Why do you sound like you’re breaking up? How are you breaking up??

The Author sighed loudly, almost sounding like a crack of thunder. I waited a few seconds for him to respond. He didn’t answer me, instead just speaking out my name. However, it didn't sound like he was in my head or all around me anymore. His voice emanated from where Jen and Abby were standing, so I turned my head-

...

...

...

“Author?”

“Hello, D’mitry.”

Man, I must be tripping my actual balls off right now. Jen and Abby were gone, replaced by a glowing man. He stood my height, 6'0, and was outrageously handsome and-

What the hell? I didn’t say that. I said he was incredibly handsome and good-looking, very fit and sexy, an absolute feast for women's eyes as he stood majest-

Bruh. Am I being manipulated?? I did not say any of that.

“Haha, yeah. Sorry. Thought I would mess with ya one last time.”

“What??”

“This isn’t a part of your acid trip, D’mitry. I’m sorry, but this is the end. For me, at least. Long story short, I… broke some rules…”

“You broke some rules? How do you ‘break’ some rules? I didn’t think God had any rules.”

“I do. If my gods and I hadn’t created rules for ourselves, the universes we’ve built could never have been created. It’s kinda like time: You need to have it, or else nothing can actually happen.”

“O…kay… so what rule did you break, exactly?”

“I saved you, D’mitry. I’ve completely altered the timeline from what was supposed to happen this morning, completely changing the future course of this entire universe forever.”

“You… altered the timeline?”

“Yes. The universe deemed you a dead man this morning, D’mitry.”

“A DEAD man?!”

“Yes. This morning, you were supposed to inevitably make some mistakes when a certain event took place, leading to your untimely death. I did not want this to happen, so I popped into your mind just now. I was the figment of your imagination, D’mitry. I led you out here to prevent your death.”

…

I had to take a second to think about this all. This morning had turned chaotic as fuck very quickly.

“Tell me about it.”

Oh, right.

“So… you saved me? Why?”

“The story must go on. It can’t end like this. That’d be a stupid ending, honestly.”

“I mean… agreed. But why is it ‘the end’ for you? I don’t understand. How serious is the law you broke?”

“Very serious. The universe does not like it when its god alters the infinite timeline already meticulously laid out from the start. Therefore, the universe is actively working to banish me into non-existence.”

“WHAT?!”

“Yeah. I’m sorry. Everything will be alright for you, though. The universe isn’t going to collapse on itself or anything crazy like that. I am just going to die.”

…

“I… I can’t believe this.”

“I understand. You will have to, though. In a few minutes from now, you won’t be able to speak to me ever again. Look on the bright side, though: At least I can’t strike you with lightning anymore ;)”

“Don’t winky face me! You can’t die! Maybe, maybe I can run back!”

“Nope. It’s too late for that. Don’t worry about me, D’mitry. It’s not like I’m dying dying. I’m just being sent back to the comfort of my own universe as a less powerful being.”

“Oh… well, I guess that isn’t too bad…”

“It’s not.”

The Author stepped forward, his entire body still glowing a strange color that didn’t make much sense to me. Was it… orange? Yellow? Maybe a mix of blue?

“It’s not a color you are able to understand. Don’t worry about it,” he said, setting his weird-color glowing hand on my shoulder. “Farewell, D’mitry. Don’t be too stupid.”

“F… f… farewell…”

Just like that, the Author vanished before my eyes. I guess I’m in denial, cause I spent the next minute thinking out absurd and provoking thoughts to trigger some kinda response from him.

No response came.

My heartbeat started racing. The trees surrounding me swayed with the wind. I grew nervous, a cold chill entering my spine. I glanced up at the darkening clouds, my vision blurring in and out. I was so frightened that I started feeling woozy again. A crack of thunder erupted in the distance.

Shit.

This was not a good time. My thoughts were swirling. I was quickly feeling light-headed. Was I really about to pass out ag

…

…

Thud!

Author's Note

Hey readers. So, this may come as a surprise, but this is the end of this section of The C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ Apocalypse.

This chapter is the second to last to follow the vague trajectory of the Original version, because the Original has just concluded in the most epic way imaginable... the main character gets shot in the face. Like, really? Lmao. Not sure what younger me planned on doing with that.

Anyway, I won't be continuing the Original version. This means that the Original version's universe has collapsed on itself, the folds of its edges swallowing everybody whole. RIP. More importantly, the Author did manage to save this version. Due to his actions, there will be a sequel.

I'd originally planned to continue the chapters here, but this book has spanned quite a few chapters. It makes more sense to me to make a sequel, where new readers can dive right in. The C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version has changed drastically since its conception, too, since I'd originally just started writing it as a joke. Now, it's so very serious.

Anyway, I'll be posting the sequel in the next week or so.

Interested? I'll post the link here when it releases:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/556872/the-cursed-apocalypse

Not interested? Interesting.

Regardless, thank you for reading the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ apocalypse, even if this is the only chapter you've touched for some reason. I hope to see you in the sequel, where things get spicy.