Human Horse

~12/05/2017~

Dear Diary,

So recently I have been asked by Twilight to write down shit that happens to me in a diary. I have to write everyday inside this diary now so lets just pray I won't forget about this in a couple days.

I've been living in Ponyville for a week now and so far fuck all happened. I managed to get a job as a bar tender, I ended up getting to live in Twilight's Tree Castle thing and I also managed to get over the fact that now I'm surrounded by talking horses. I did end up meeting a bunch of these horses and so far they seem pretty chill, well all of them except for the pink one. I swear that the pink one secretly has a bag filled with cocaine, cause she is all over the fucking place.

Nothing else happened so far so I guess I'll just stop writing here, lets see what boring shit I'll get to do tomorrow.

~23/05/2017~

Dear Diary,

So get this right. Today I'm just passing drinks to horses, the usual shit right? Well the next thing I know, theres a fucking cum white coloured horse grinding against my leg! I told her to stop and then pushed her away cause I don't want any of that shit. Then she started crying and asking for vodka and then I almost got fired because of that bitch! I was forced to apologize and then she walked off, fucking slutty bitch. Grinded on my fucking leg and didn't get shit for it?! Fuck that bitch! My job really sucks...

~08/09/2017~

Dear Diary,

Since yesterday Twilight gave me the necklace to be able to transform into a pony, today I dedicated the entire day in learning how to fly. Luckily I had Dashie to teach me... unluckily however, she made sure to laugh and poke fun at me every time I messed up. Its a good thing that I learned that this was her normal behavior from our gym sessions. I'm usually the one who bested her at the gym, so this was apparently her time to get me back.

Still no sign of that white pony though. I would have figured that she would have shown herself already after giving me that letter last week. I still haven't opened it though, maybe I'll do it tomorrow if I remember.

~14/04/2018~

Dear Diary,

Yes Yes YES! The date with Icy went exactly how I fucking wanted, PRAISE THE FUCKING SUN! I'm really happy that she even decided to go out with me after making her cry all those months ago, but she seemed to have gotten over it. I still haven't told Twilight about Icy, but I have a feeling that I should keep it secret from her for a bit longer. I'm also still very anxious about the letter she given me. She told me today to not open it until she says so, so I'm very nervous but also quite excited for whats inside it.

~30/10/2018~

Dear Diary,

Celestia.Fucking.CHRIST. I already can't stand being a teacher. Sure it pays better than passing drinks to hobo horses, but these kids really do get on my nerves sometimes. But I did have to get this job since me and Icy are now living together in our own house. Twilight did take the news well... after hugging me for 15 minutes straight. Hopefully this job will be enough to let me and icy keep living together. I do enjoy teaching the kids some maths, but they are a fucking handfull hoof-full sometimes. I do also have to teach them in my horse form, but thankfully I can take my breaks and walk back home as a human. I do enjoy being a horse, but I do prefer being a human.

~02/02/2019~

Dear Diary,

Well... this may be the last time I'll ever write inside this book, tomorrow I'm heading back to Earth. I'm still worried about Icy, she has been dreading this day ever since I told her about it last week. She now even refuses to sleep with me which is extremely shitty. I'm going to stop writing now and pack all of my stuff. Living in Equestria has been amazing, but I just have to return back home. I don't belong here, I belong back on Earth with the rest of my human kind. I can even hear Icy crying right now... I really do hope that everything works out well tomorrow.