Not The First

"Oh, good, you're awake."

I rolled over and groaned. How long had it been this time? A day? Two days? I couldn't stand listening to the voice. Every time. I wake up. I eat, drink, piss, shit. Sometimes without ever actually moving. Then back to sleep. Before it can get to me.

"Get up. Get off your lazy ass and do what you said you would."

"And why the fuck would I do that?" I muttered. After all, I didn't actually have to move.

The voice just laughed. "Because this spot's already used up. Because your other choices are going back to sleep and starving, or staying here and waiting to die while I whisper in your ear."

"Fair enough." I dragged myself out from the pile of my own shit and towards the nearest puddle of body fluids. I stopped bothering with the fire and the still. I couldn't get enough liquid around to use it, so I let the flames die out. Puddles would seep out of the bodies and I drank out of those. I just didn't care.

There was a slight dip; a ledge of bodies. By dragging my front half off, I was able to get myself semi-standing. I could actually walk. It was hard, though. I hadn't walked in a while.

"Look at you, wobbling around. Your like that shit-blob-thing Discord used to hang out with. Only grosser."

I ignored the voice and made it to the puddle. Bending over to drink hurt my neck. Still, I did it.

After, I was hungry. Not really. I had no appetite. But my guts felt like a rock tumbler. Mostly empty, with a few sharp bits being banged around inside. I needed to pad it.

There was a fresh-ish body stuck on the spikes. I clambered over and bit off her face. No real reason why, except I hated looking at it. I sucked out an eyeball next, 'cause it was easiest to get to. Then an ear. I considered flossing out my teeth with her mane-hairs, but what was the point. My teeth were already aching with rot. Colgate would pass out if she saw all the cavities.

"Who the fuck is Colgate?"

"Uh, duh. Ponyville's dentist?"

"Ponyville never had a dentist. Not officially. I think you got her from some book you read. That's all you used to do, remember? Read. Because you're a book-loving egghead.

I grunted. "So you're Rainbow Dash now?"

"I'm whoever the fuck you want me to be. I could be Rainbow I'm-better-than-you Dash or I could be bow-down-and-worship-my-fat-ass Celestia. It wouldn't change what a piece of shit you are."

"Okay, I don't have to take this."

"And how are you gonna stop me?"

"Like this." I closed my eyes and let my mind go blank. Not as hard as it should've been. I drifted off, into the familiar mist.

Pop!

I woke up, a bit startled. What was that?

Oh. Right.

I fell asleep standing next to the bone spikes. I looked over just as the latest Twilight fell face-first into one. Her eyes locked onto mine, and I could tell she wasn't quite dead yet. Before the light faded from them, I leaned over and sucked up an eyeball. It squished between my teeth, spraying juices over what was left of her muzzle.

I chuckled as I swallowed and bit another chunk from her body. Then I dropped a couple apples, and watered them because, hey, why not. I walked back over to the puddle and drank some more; this puddle was getting kind of low. But walking was a bit easier this time.

I should sleep standing up more.

"Nah. You should just lie down. That's what shit does. It just lays there."

"Time to come up with a different insult. You can only call me 'shit' so many times before I stop caring," I pointed out. I started back over to the spikes, simply because I was still feeling empty.

The voice was uncharacteristically silent for a while. "You're right," it admitted after a few minutes.

"I am?"

"Yeah. I need to call you something else. I could call you... bitch."

"Lame."

"Cunt?"

"Filthy and derogatory, but I don't particularly care."

"Soul-killer?"

I snorted. "That one actually sounds badass. So it would be a compliment."

It was quiet again. I reached the spikes. Or, what was left of them. Some had broken. Some toppled by the number of bodies impaled on them, or on their neighbors. A few were simply buried.

The latest me was leaking still. Blood oozed down the spike, but I wasn't interested in that. I stuck my face up between her legs and lapped at the liquid draining there. It was more pure than what was in the puddles. Then I bit off the soft flesh in there. There was a fair amount of blood; I wondered what she'd been doing before teleporting. My brain conjured up a fantasy of the Princess of Friendship in an illicit affair, desperately teleporting from her lover's- or lovers'- house before being caught.

As if. Princess Twilight Sparkle was way too... well, she wouldn't do that. I should know. I was her.

Then again, I hadn't been her for a long time.

"Yes, but you still used to be. Which means that you suck every bit as much as she does."

"Seriously? Just shut up."

"Ooh! I could call you Princess. After all, there's no pony you hate more."

"Not true. I hate you more."

The voice laughed. "It's all the same; you, me, Princess, Six, Twilight Sparkle. All the same. You hate me, you hate them. You know who you really hate? You. And you're right to."

"Well, if you're me, then I guess it must be true."

"Finally. The light turns on!"

"Sarcasm," I sighed. "Whatever."

"Oh, come on Princess. You know it's true. You were Twilight Sparkle. You lived in her castle, you talked to her friends, you did her job. And just like her, you're a murderer!"

"The real Twilight killed somepony now?"

"Let me rephrase: all Twilights, Sparkles, Princesses, whatever new name your fuck-brain comes up with, they've all killed. Because they've all teleported. Except the latest one, but fuck her. She'll do it eventually."

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense." As much as anything could. I took another bite of me and chewed thoughtfully. Though I thought of nothing.

"You all teleport. You all kill. You're a murderer! The Princess of Murder. Murder Princess. There we go! the voice suddenly became excited. "I'll call you Murder Princess from now on."

"And all call you my Ass-Pain. Seems simple enough." I yawned. "I'm going to sleep now. Why don't you make yourself useful and sing a lullaby?"

"Sure. Let me just set the right mood..." I suddenly heard music, low and soft. I sighed. Too late now. I asked for it. "Ahem- Go to sleep... Go to sleep... Go to sleep fucking stupid..."

The words skated over my brain, but the tone flowed through. I let my head droop, and drifted away.

"Good morning, Murder Princess!"

"Yo. Murder Princess. Are you done eating yet?"

"Murder Princess, stop licking yourself."

"Murder Princess."

" Murder Princess."

"Murder."

"Princess."

"Murder."

"Princess."

"Murder."

"Murder."

"Murder."

"Murder Princess!"

"SHUT UP!"

I grabbed my head. My hooves felt so wrong; overgrown, broken, chipped and brittle. About the same as the rest of me, really. Even my mind.

"I can't take it anymore. Congratulations! You got under my skin!"

"Oh, I don't care about that in particular. I'm just here to make you suffer, the way you deserve."

I felt my eye twitch. My puffy, swollen, puss-oozing eye.

And then I screamed. "Arrr-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

"I can't take it anymore!" I kicked at the mes that were my ground. "I won't! Get out of my head, go away, leave me alone, I don't care where you go just GO!"

"Eh... no."

"Then I'll make you!"

Voice snorted. "How? You can't touch me. You can't force me to do shit."

"You wanna annoy me? Well good luck- if there's no me to annoy!" I scrambled over the hill, searching. "Ah-ha!"

I picked my way over to the toolbelt, discarded long ago. I pulled out a knife.

"Like you'd do it. You're too weak to-"

I stabbed the knife into my foreleg, ramming it through paper skin and blood vessels thinner than my stringy hair. I didn't even feel it at first. But once I did, I smiled. It was the first thing I'd actually felt in a while.

I pulled the knife out; amazingly, I seemed to have missed every major vein and artery. So I tried again. I stuck the bone-blade into my leg, and it stuck about halfway. Rather than keep pushing, I pulled. I pulled the knife up my leg, carving myself like a turkey.

I got that one from the human world.

My leg started to go numb. Blood was flowing now; quite well. It dripped down and pooled in a hollow of flesh-ground. Good.

"You see?" I muttered. "No more me. No more Twilight. And without me, no more you."

"I'll always be here, Twilight," it said. But it sounded less sure. "You can't... escape."

My vision was starting to fade. Good. Good.

Pass out. Die. No more. No more Voice.

Eyes closing. Can't see. Smell. Smell blood.

Smell... sprinkles?

Black.