Not The First

Dead.

So dead. Should be dead.

"I wish you were dead- not. You're too fun to fuck with."

"Discord?"

"Nah."

"Oh."

Everything... wrong. Itches. Stabbing. Ow.

How long?

Too long. Days, feels like. Can't... move.

Move.

Roll over. Sticky. Back. In my hair. Whatever.

On side. Not enough. Roll again.

Get up.

Nope.

Legs... nope. Ouch. Cut. Belly in the way. Gut round. Ball. I swallowed a ball? No. Just... bad.

"Oh my goddess! Your own fucking body hates you now!"

Laughter.

In my head. Hate it. Fucking ass-bitch.

Eyes hurt. No light. Little light. Can't see much. Dry. Open. Shut. Hurts. No tears. Can't cry. Want to cry.

Hair in my eyes. White. Bleached. Thin, stringy. Greasy. Blood stained. Not my hair. Is it?

Urgh.

Yuck. Tongue. Fat. Also dry. Metal and pineapple. No, coconut. No, shit. Tastes like shit. Lips cracked. Coated. From what?

Lick.

Yuck.

More metal. Blood. Blood and more. Charcoal. Fire. Tastes bad. But good. Food. Lips coated with old food.

"Holy crap. That was almost a complete thought. I'd be impressed if you weren't supposed to be thinking complete thoughts all the time. Sheesh."

Really hate voice.

Try again. Roll over.

Roll over.

Hurts!

Ow ow ow ow ow.

Bleau-huleau-huleau!

Gross.

Stinks. Putrid. Rotten. Vomit. I vomited. My muzzle... still in it.

Gross.

Belly hurts. Still. More. Pain.

Get up.

Push, legs. Push!

Up.

Ignore cut pain, up!

Wobbling, but up.

Stagger forward.

Nope.

Oof!

Something jabbing- bone. In side. Long. Something on the end.

Oh. My axe.

And around waist. Belt. With knives.

Yay.

Sky. Red sky. Black sky. Sky sky sky.

"The fuck?"

Go away voice. Don't like you. Don't want you.

Want look at sky.

Look up. Roll over again. Belly in air. Doesn't hurt.

Sky.

Sky is large and empty. No clouds. No sun. No moon. No stars.

Sun. Moon.

Butt.

Moon butt.

I miss moon butt.

Mooooooon butt.

Moon butt.

Mooooooooo-

Pop!

Strange.

Sound.

Haven't heard... anything. Long time.

So strange.

Look. See.

See fading purple sky.

See movement.

See-

Me.

Me.

Another me. Not dead.

Not yet.

Get up. Get up.

Purpose. Remember-

"Don't be stupid. Stupider, I should say."

Voice. Right. Safer just to stay-

No.

No. Can't stay. Get up. Get done. Duty. Purpose. Vow.

Do it!

I got up.

I took one step. Another. Pain. Ignoring.

I took another step. My gut clenched. Pain. Agony.

No. I- I kept going.

I climbed the hill, dragged myself up it.

I made it to the top.

There.

The other me.

Standing in the valley, wings out. Eyes wide. Staring. Not understanding.

Weak.

I hadn't been that shocked.

"No. But you're still weaker."

"Get out of my head," I breathed. My voice. My throat was scratchy. Swallow. Not working

Fine. Do it anyway.

Tired though.

Need- I need motive.

Remember.

Sparkle. Dead.

Yes.

Spike. Crushed.

More.

My life. Lives. How many times?

How many senseless sacrifices?

Every time I thought she learned, every time I thought the new me would be better. She came back. A day. A month. A year. She always came back.

Good.

Fire spread into my legs. Pain faded. Muscles little more than strings pulled flesh little more than paper. Bones brittle as sticks ground against each other.

Grab the axe.

I pushed down the hill, gaining speed. I raised the hatchet. "Murderer!" I bellowed. "I'll kill you!"

Her face was a sight. The beauty of the surprise. The dawning horror. The sweet look of fear and betrayal as I swooped in for a killing blow, just as had so many times before.

"Weak."

I stumbled last moment, leg cut screaming; she dodged; I missed. The axe hit a body and stuck. She stopped- leaned over, closed her eyes. She grunted.

Mistake. The mistake of one too used to magic.

I ripped the axe out. Swing. Swing hard.

She cried out as the blade hit her shoulder. It hit sideways, dug deep. Stuck again. Blood sprayed. Hit my muzzle. I licked it up. Salty. But sweet.

Then she twisted, and the axe flew out of my hooves.

I snarled.

She took a step back, and I tackled her. We rolled down the slope of bodies, and I sank my teeth into her foreleg. She howled; her hoof smashed into my face. My muzzle deformed, teeth rattled. More blood in my mouth. Less sweet. Bitter.

Crunch!

We hit the bottom and my shoulder hit first. Bones snapped. Stabbing. Pain. More pain. Same leg.

Smack!

My head hit different head. Corpse head.

Other me groaned. She was hurt, too.

Ignore the pain. Kill her.

Get up. Grab knife. On my belt; take one. Throw.

She yelped as it sliced across her cheek. I threw another, but she charged.

"Missed!"

She tackled me. She was heavy; she pushed me down. Could feel her blood. Life giving. Energizing. Reach up; felt the shiv in her side. I didn't miss.

I pulled it out, tried to stab again. She smacked my hoof. The knife tumbled further downhill.

I gnashed my teeth, animal rage.

She didn't flinch again. She smashed her head into my face. I saw stars and pink ponies pronking and birds and-

She head-butted me again, in the torso now. I fell backward. Slid a bit.

Get up again.

Pain.

Surprised. I looked down.

Oh. Hole in my side.

Her horn. Pierced me. Oh. Shit.

See how you like it.

Pulled out another shiv. She was on me- I was in her. Shiv. In the side. Again. Again. Again again again-

She shrieked, but grabbed my neck. Her hooves tightened. We fell more. Crushing. No air.

Larynx closing up. Carotid- blood- no blood. No brain.

"What brain."

More stars. Bad stars.

Kick. Punch. Anything. Everything. All legs, beat her. I beat her. I hit hard as I can. Does nothing. No avail.

Something else.

Grab anything- grab something heavy.

I grabbed something heavy. Something dead. The nearest corpse. I pulled.

A bloated sack of putridness smacked against her. She shrieked, surprised. She was covered in bone and rotten brains.

Up again. Not over yet. One more weapon. "Raaaaargh!" I screamed. War cry.

She screamed, too, when I smashed my bone hammer into her leg. Oh, wonderful sound. Bliss.

Another hit. Winding up-

She yanked the hammer away. She did something. Too fast to see. She-

Thwak!

I felt impossible pressure and pain. In my head. In the side of my head. Side? Side on the ground. Fallen. What?

Eyes blurry. See less. Roll. Try to. Shift.

There. See her. Vision faded on right.

Why?

Something wrong.

She touched me. She was touching me- touching my head. Ouch.

Why so painful?

Everything hurt.

Belly hurt. Legs hurt. Head hurt.

Heart... hurt.

What happening?

Move. Try to move.

Can't.

Much.

Reach up. One leg. Stop her touch.

See her mouth moving. See her talking. Can't hear.

Doesn't matter.

Stop touching.

Reach up. Nudge her. She stops. Looks- afraid.

Feel something. Something wet. Large. Squishy. Near my head.

Oh.

That's the brain.

Waited for voice.

No voice.

Huh.

Sky. Red sky. With purple.

No. Purple is me. Other me. Not-dead me.

Other me looked scared. I felt... bad.

Why?

I dunno. Something about other mes. Dead other mes. Feel... bad...

Oh. Oh.

Oh gods and goddesses.

I fucked up.

Dead.

Dying.

Almost dead.

Seconds. Hours.

Doesn't matter.

She matters.

Blackness. Haze.

Smile. One last smile.

"Bye."

One last word. A croak.

Then close eyes.

No sound.

So sight.

No smells.

No taste.

Nothing.

Forever.

Do better than me, Twilight. Do better.

Fin