Shipping company can go **** Themselves!!

One night stands are a glorious thing in Equestria compared to Earth. There’s no such thing as STIs in this world. How amazing is that? Don’t have to use contraception unless you don’t want a foal, and even then it’s only when a mare goes through her heat cycle which happens 1 specific week in the year. It’s always the week after the birthday too. Dunno why, magic I’m guessing. Like I said before, don’t know the answer? Blame magic. Anyway besides not having horrible diseases that could be life threatening, every pony is super nice. Like for example, the twins cooked me up a big breakfast. Mostly pancakes but there was a fuck ton of them. There’s no awkward moments that sometimes happen in one night stands. The ones where, oh no I don’t want him/her here, this was a mistake or they better not expect more. No here the ponies know what they are getting and that’s it. Before and after. If feeling develop, then kudos, good for you and fair play. If not, move on. As my mum so graciously said once, there’s plenty of tail around. Stay classy Mum, Christ. She’s a fucking noble as well, well least she ain’t boring. Anyway what I’m trying to say was that I had a jolly good send off from the Twin’s cottage, minus the hangover I was sporting with the glare of the damn sun in my eyes. Looking at the clock in the living room before leaving, it was about 12ish so I had best get back to Twilight’s ‘accident waiting to happen’ home.Ponies I recognised greeted me, some I could remember their names but they knew me so I must have met them at the party at some point. There were a lot of ponies there, anyway.

Coming up to the tree that my cousin was living in. I could hear a commotion inside, putting my ear to the door to listen in. Yeah I’m earwigging. Sue me.

“She needs to be back soon, I cannot believe I forgot to tell her. Ohh this is bad. You sure you didn’t see her early this morning?” That was Twilight’s voice.

“No I already said, now calm down Twilight. Besides you know she doesn’t get up before at least 10am each day. Spark likes to sleep” And that’s Spike. Nice to know there chattin bout me. Should I go in and calm Twilights nerves by showing I’m here?.....Nah I’ll wait for a bit and see where this picks up.

“I know but this is from the Princess herself, I can’t fail her Spike. Why did I not tell her before she went out?”

“Where did she go?”

“She went with those pegasi twins, I don’t know them personally. I hope she’s hear soon” I got bored of listening and opened the door causing both to look at me. Twilight gasping and then rushing to me.

“Spark, you’re here thank goodness. This is crucial and timing is of the essence!.” Twilight literally standing mere inches from me causing me to cringe from the loud noise.

“Argh, yeh have to shout? Got a fuckin handover yeh sod”

“Oh, sorry but ill cure it with a spell in a second but well. The parts for the pylons arrived today but a letter was attached with it signed by the Princess.”

“Oh well what it say?”

“She wants the barricade up and running in a months’ time.”

“Erm what?”

“A month, like 30 days Spark. You have to get a move on and start it like now”

“Where’s the letter?”

Spike handed me the culprit that was pretty much asking the impossible. “Here it is Spark, you want a coffee or something?”

“Aye, thank Spike. Coffee sounds grand. Now then, let’s read this bullshit then” Judging by Twilight’s cringe she wasn’t too happy with my choice of words. Yeah well suck it, you ain’t being asked to complete a very complex set of numerous designs with enchantments in under a month.

About 5 minutes into reading it twice Spike handed me my cuppa, thanking him and took a sip.

‘Hmm, little drake is a mint maker of coffee. Oh yeah, best tell Twilight bout this letter’

“Twilight, you said you have read this letter right?”

“Yes, time is ticking away and we haven’t even started yet”

“Girl calm yehself. Now yeh see this symbol? This little anchor with the wings on it?”

“Erm yes but what does that have to do with the project”

“Christ Twilight. For a bookworm yeh do miss some key info out. Plus yeh from fuckin Canterlot. This symbol is the shipping firm, owned by a certain Prince Blueblood. Now I’ll let you figure out why you can just ignore this complete bullshit of a letter” I scrunched up the paper and threw it near the bin.

“Wait Blueblood? Less time for making the? Wait did he forge the letter to less time to complete the barrier just so he could bother you again into marrying him?!”

“Argh, Twilight. I’m fuckin right next to yeh. Indoor voice missy.” I sat down on the sofa and leaned back, trying to get rid of this bangin headache.

“But he can’t do that. He’s abusing his power. I’m telling the Princess about this. Spike take a letter!” She spoke as she went into the kitchen to find her little slave/ assistant.

“I swear Twilight. One word raised voice out of you and I will jam a book in yeh gob”

As if on cue though the library’s main door slammed open accompanied by a certain pink pony.

“Oh my god, this fuckin noise” I slumped more into the sofa.

“Hiya Sparkie. Take it you had super duper fun last night?” Pinkie speaking her normal volume. As in fuckin loud.

“Pinkie put a sock in it. I have a handover and you shoutin ain’t helping” As I spoke she did her typical bounce towards me.

“Sock in where? I mean I do like a bit of sexy sockies in bed time but now Spark? Best wait for later on” As she did this she winked at me.

“Sigh, not what I meant but whatever. You hear to chill or you got business here?”

“Oh, my pinkie sense went loco and I felt that a certain somepony needed my special hangover cure so ta-da!” Suddenly I felt a cupcake being shoved into my mouth. I’m all for things in my mouth but only with my consent. I frowned at her and was about to spit it out but she stopped me.

“Swallow it. Trust me. It’ll help” Pinkie doing a cheeky grin.

‘Fucks this girl up to. Also yeah not heard that line before’ I rolled my eyes and did as I was told, texture was nice with a bit of buttercream in the middle. All of a sudden my headache disappeared, no pain, no feeling groggy. I grinned at her and gave her a hug.

“Awww, like being close to Pinkie Sparkie hehe”

“I owe yeh one Pinks. Thanks” I winked at her before Twilight and Spike came in. Spike finishing of the letter before blowing fire on it sending via magic to the Princess. Seriously though. Who thought that dragon fire was magical and can be used like a fax machine. Probably the same sod who though building a library in a tree was a good idea. Fuckin ponies man. Wonderful but bloody stupid at times.

“Oh hey Pinkie. I’ve sent that letter explaining the whole situation to the Princess Spark. Hopefully she can sort this mess out”

“Hopefully neuter the bastard for stalking me again” I whispered to myself. “Sound, by the way yeah said the parts arrived?”

“Oh yes, there in the basement. Would you like to go over them?”

“Yeah I need to know a full inventory and know how dense these parts are, also gives me an idea how much magic they can hold” Saying this Twilights eyes lit up.

“Gasp, ive never had a prodject partner before. Ohh this is going to be so much fun. I’ll get my parchment and ink.” As she did this she had a spring in her step.

“Fuckin nerd. You in Pinkie?”

“Nopey lopey. Got a big order at Sugarcube Corner”

“See yeh round then, and thanks again for the clear up” Touching my head with my hoof as she bounced out the door.

“Right lets have a gander as to what they gave me to work with”

Making my way down to the basement I flicked the light on and saw various machines down here with a small chemistry set up in the corner. I large metal desk lay beside the wall next to a large wooden crate with several smaller ones. Bout 5 in total.

“Yo Twi, you got a crowbar or something?”

Spike came to the rescue carrying one.

“Yeah you go Spark. If you need anything else just give me a shout. Ill be upstairs reading the new power ponies”

“Cheers Scales”

I jammed the crowbar at the top and grabbed it with my magic. By pushing down the big crate opened up containing several blocks of onyx crystals. Each was about the size of a pony in length and about 4 inches in diameter. Basically a black long block. Well at least they gave me something that can hold a decent amount of ley lines. Onyx is I think the 5th highest in storing magic so it is fairly pricey. If a pony found this they’d be sorted for a fair bit.

“If I set these up though, won’t someone nick em. Sigh. Am I gonna have to put an illusion on it or something? Fuck. Might have to give Trixie a bell then. Hopefully she’s at her home in Neigh York. I ain’t going around looking for in if she’s traveling.”

I heard hoofsteps and saw a various amount of scrolls, ink pots, quills and a very chirpy Twilight.

“Wow is that onyx? That should hold a high amount of magic correct?”

I nodded at her. “Yep, im gonna open the rest and spread them out around the place. I need you to make a list of everything we have been given. Then if anything is missing ill tell yeh. Also need to get hold of a certain somepony to put an illusion on these pillars.”

“I can do just that. May I ask which pony you have in mind for the illusion work?”

“Trixie Lulumoon. Friend from Uni, mint with this type of work and no doubt she’ll know the right spell to make these pillars bend in more. Don’t fancy ponies nicking them for a quick bit after all the effort ill be putting into them.”

“Wait, Trixie? Like 3rd pony speaking with a starry cape and wizard hat Trixie?”

“Oh yeh met her? Yeah shes a bit odd but shes cool. How did you met her then?”

“Cough, well she did a show in Ponyville last year and erm, thanks to a certain 2 colts brought an Ursa Minor thinking that Trixie could vanquish it but it destroyed her cart and I ended up putting it to sleep. She lied and was very boastful about the whole thing beforehoof then galloped away from Ponyville.”

“No shit she was boastful. She’s a showmare yeh fuck. That’s her job. Who wants to watch a pony not tell you that there like the best at blah blah blah. No pony would go and pay for that, its entertainment.”

“Oh, I never really thought about it like that”

“Argh, swear to god. Ponies just don’t think of the big picture at times.”

“I think I should tell the town about this, at least my friends should know about it”

“Well if we’re to convince Trixie yeh, best make amends. Now list girl, worry about the illusion later on”

This took about 2 hours to fully complete. Mainly because of all the different types of screws and bolts they gave us to help support the beams with a type of stand that would be stuck in to the ground and then a list of the parts needed afterwards. To be honest most was hear but I needed something crucial that they cocked up with.

“Fucking can’t believe they forgot the focus crystals, it needs to have one otherwise the amount of enchantments it’ll require would need to be replaced every month. I’ve got shit I want to do with my life, not dedicate it to some poles”.

“Spark its ok. We’ll get the parts from the Princess and explain what’s happened”

“Dunno about you but I am not looking forward to making this. Also I’m gonna need like a safe place away from everyone in case shit goes boom, like a bunker or something”

“Ok then, I’ll talk to the mayor and see what I can do. Should we make a list for that as well?”

“Yeah, but we’ll do it in a bit. For now let’s call it quits. I feel a bit annoyed and I wanna chill. Sigh, might go for a walk”

“Ok then, don’t get into trouble though. Oh Applejack wants to have a word with you at some point”

“what does that cowgirl want?”

She gave me a deadpan look.

“What?”

“You know the whole ‘cough’ kissing on stage?” A slight blush formed on her muzzle.

“Oh for fucks sake, I told her to keep her muzzle out but whatever. May as well listen to her side of this”

“Be nice Spark. I would like it if all my friends got along with you”

“Get along with me? Twilight, half of them are lusting for me, the other two don’t know it yet. Or there straight, but then again I do have both sexes so”

“Nope, get out and go for your walk” Twilight coming down with a fierce burn and shoved me out the door of the basement then closing it.

“You’re missing out Twi!”

“What’s she missing?” Spike sitting on the sofa with his comic.

“Too young Scales, I’ll tell you when you’re older”

“Take it you mean sex right?” He said grinning at me.

“Keep forgetting you ain’t a baby mentally. Fuckin sass me boi” I quickly gave him a nuggie before belting through the front door and started to walk towards the Apple farm.

“Think it’s this way” I headed what I think was east.

‘Been here like what? Couple days now. Place is starting to grow one me. Even if some ponies are bloody nuts, but then again that’s what makes em interesting.’

“Excuse me miss?”

I turned to see an earth stallion with a crop top wearing a simple straw hat behind me pulling a cart. Next to him was a mare with a small satchel carrying a foal.

“Yeah?”

“I was just wondering if you know where the town hall is? Me and my family you see are moving here. We come from Cropton and are hoping for a much more simple life for our foal Butterbean”

Him pointing to the asleep foal, both parents smiling.

“Quiet huh? Sure, anyway it’s the building that looks like a turret from a castle with support beams made of wood. Only been here for like 2 days now I’m afraid.”

“That no trouble at all ma’am, thank you though for your time. Alright Sugar Pulp, let’s see if we can’t find the mayor.”

“It was very nice to meet you miss, thank you once again” The mare dubbed Sugar Pulp spoke before the family headed into the town a bit more.

‘Should I warn them about Pinkie Pie?....Nah, everypony must learn at some point. I’ll just be delaying the inevitable’

About 10 minutes it took me to start seeing the edge of the farm, if the apple trees were any indication.

I started to walk but I could hear a distance thunk sound, like somepony was chopping wood or kicking something so I followed the sound deeper into the farm.

As I came closer I saw what had to be the biggest red stallion I have ever set my eyes on, like I swear he was at least a meter taller than me, as he was wiping sweat from his brow with his hoof. I saw several baskets littered around the tree, and him taking a step back and bucking the tree, causing all of the apples attached to fall down and land in them.

“Well, never seen that before” I think I spooked him as he quickly turned his head in my direction and his body was a little bit tense. I stepped out of the foliage for him to see me, and judging by the expression I think he likes me.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to spook yeah there. Looking for Applejack. Wants me to have a chat with here about something”

“Er, ye..yep. She’s erm, at the barn, you er. Want me to ‘cough’ , show you?” The poor stallion was acting like Fluttershy was first time I met her. Blushing like a tomato and looking anywhere else but me. Ok Fluttershy wasn’t blushing but you get the picture with Big red here.

“I’d like that big boy, so I take it you’re a family member of Applejacks then?”

As it turns out. Yes, Clifford the big red stallion here is the oldest brother of the Apple siblings. I wish his name was Clifford but its Big Mackintosh, or Big Mac for short. Nice guy, quiet but I dunno if that because I’m here and looking back everyone and then I could tell he was checking me out when he thought I wasn’t looking. His favourite word though was Yeeahp. Loved using 1 word answers when I was asking him questions.

He pointed to a simple red barn next to a two story house, I thanked him, he nodded and quickly trotted back to the fields.

I walked in and saw the cowgirl that I was looking for hurling bales of hay with a pitchfork and just lugging them up on the second floor.

“Hey cowgirl. Twilight said yeah wanted a chat?”

She stopped and turn to see me. She smiled. “Thank ya for takin the time Spark. It won’t take long. Are we alone?”

“Alone, er yeah I guess. Yeah brother did show me the way but his bailed back now, why what’s up?”

She came a bit closer to me and took off her hat, she held it in her hooves and was fiddling with it a bit.

“I erm, wanted to apologise for ma words last night. When you and er that mare went behind the desk and did yeh know, that stuff. It was out of everyponies view, I just yeh know” She blushed and started acting like what Big Mac was doing. Is this behaviour normal for this family? Hang on, of all ponies why is she acting like this way?

“Wait, Applejack. Look at me”

She did that, well for a few seconds then went back to being shy.

“You’ve never kissed another pony have you?” I asked nicely at the mare, the way she could hurl bales of hay like it was nothing? Didn’t really fancy getting my head caved in.

“What in tarnation? Cause I have, I’ve kissed my family loads of times on the cheek n that”

“Sigh, that’s not what I mean and you know it girl”

“Yeh, well course I have, I ain’t lying”

“Applejack….” I was starting to get a bit annoyed.

“Alright already fine. I ain’t kissed a pony or done anythin with another pony. Yeah happy now? I was never told what to do and that”

‘Oh right, that was a bit of heavy info there. So she’s in the same boat as twilight then. Fair play then, have to do this delicately though’

“Well, we all start somewhere Applejack. Nothing wrong with that”

“Yeah but, I’m the only pony I know that hasn’t…yeah know” She makes a motion with her hooves.

“Applejack, I can tell you for a fact you are not the only pony YOU know that hasn’t had sex, besides yeh don’t want to rush this kind of shit. Ponies get hurt, first time it’s gotta be special yeh know?”

“You must know a fair bit of the stuff then?” Applejack finally relaxing a bit. This is good progress.

“Eh, I’ve done my fair share. If somepony is inexperienced yeh ease em into it. Like I said, rush it and you’ll get hurt. Done a few things I was new in and yeah, let’s just say it’s best to take yeh time.”

“I see, well. I gotta lot ta think bout. Thanks Spark, I haven’t told anypony else bout this sorta thing so I’d preciate it if we kept it just between us”

“Lips be sealed on the matter, seriously though you ain’t told anypony else? Why me then?”

“Twilight mentioned yeah a few times, one thing that stood out above da rest was your good at keeping secrets. Also sometimes yeah can trust a stranger more than friends with certain things”

“Damn, wasn’t expecting that answer. Warn yeh though Applejack, no pony is perfect. We all have our flaws. Me for example I have like a good drink but sometimes when I have too much I do some, really stupid things”

“Haha, sounds like a story or two there sugarcube”

“Remind me to tell yeah a few, anyway best get a crack on with going around Ponyville for a decent open field away from everypony. Gotta set up the bunker/shed of when I’m making the barrier”

“Hmm, best place be the west side near the forest, in between whitetail woods.”

I nodded as my thanks and started to walk out the door, just before the cowgirl shout me a quick thanks and jumped at me for a hug. Won’t lie, this girl is full of surprises but hugs a hug, no harm in one and I responded with my own.

“Don’t be a stranger, yeh hear?”

“Haha, wouldn’t dream of it Applejack” We broke the hug and she tilted her hat at me, slightly blushing once again.

“Call me AJ, Sugarcube”

Author's Note

Quite happy with this chapter, setting stuff up for later ones down the line. Hope you guys are doing great and are enjoying this fic. Till next time