Shine P.O.V

“Shine! You better have finally cleaned that ‘room’ of yours or I swear to Celestia!!” Pearl Light shouting at the bottom of the staircase. She had enough once she saw poor Silver cleaning the carpets due to somepony treading ash hoof prints everywhere.

Hearing mum from round the corner when I was getting a snack from the kitchen

‘She thinks I’m upstairs huh. Time for a spook.’

I creeped by right behind her making sure the rug muffed my hoofsteps. Then inches from her right ear shouting “WHAT?!”

“AAAAHHH” Pearl jumping in shock as her daughter just appeared behind her. Her mane becoming a bit loose in the process. Pearl looking at an innocent unicorn beside her.

“Oooh, do that again young mare. I dare you.” Pearl scowling at her.

‘Oh she has that look, best not to. You know that if you do something again, your mum would hand you a new one’.

“Nah you’re alright mum, I’m all out. Also I finished cleaning about an hour ago. I came down for a snack.”

The elderly mare shaking her head in response. “What am I going to do with you huh?” She approached me, wrapping her forelegs around me, can’t say no to a hug.

“Continue to support the most beautiful mare you ever did see……..also giving me 100 bits”

She give me that look. You know the one. “What did you break?”

“Woah I haven’t broken anything…… besides what’s out back in the skip because of the rune exploding in my room. That’s covered by the insurance”

I have to explain the ‘insurance’ we have etched in this house. Enchanting is tricky and very confusing if you aren’t a whizz kid at it. Ley linesfor example. Make sure it’s correct for the magic to flow through. That they are not weak enough to break cause that will explode depending on how much magic is inside the lines. Also making sure the material you’re enchanting can hold the stress of magic inside, otherwise it’ll explode. Making sure that when you overlap the ley lines, they too can hold themselves, otherwise….explosion. I think you get the picture. Every month from my allowance I give bits to cover the cost of things breaking in the house due to explosions. We have a big skip outside for the things, rumours and jokes aside of our household being a ‘scrap shed’. Mum wasn’t happy with that when they showed up and dad thought it was funny but hey ho. Let’s just say not many ponies have a cutie mark in enchanting due to how tricky and hard it is so it’s a very profitable career if you know the ponies. Like the military. But yeah enough about that.

“Hmm yes I saw the mess you made, honestly girl you need to be careful. But you are making less mess. Still you haven’t said why?”

“SPARK SHINE!!”

‘Well dad’s pissed. I wonder why?’

“WHERE IS THAT 30 YEAR BOURBON I KEEP IN THE DESK?!!”

Mum let go of me and arched an eyebrow.

“No idea what he’s chatting about mum”

“Spark sweetheart, you’re a bad lair. I know right now because your left ear flicked”

“Shit, alright I had to bribe Silver with that, didn’t know until after I gave it to him it was the 100 bit one”

“Sigh you owe me for this one girl”

She started her way up the stairs but not before giving me a quick wink.

“Love you mum” Honestly I do, both my parents for all the crap and affection they give me. I long accepted both my parents from Earth to be happy for me no matter the circumstances, so I decided to stop thinking of all the times I’ve missed them. Don’t get me wrong I still do, I hope they aren’t mad at me but after 21 years living a life of a mare on a different planet. Dimension, I dunno which.If they are looking at me, I hope I made them proud………..went on a tangent again, fucks sake.

“Hope mum convinces dad it’s all square, don’t fancy giving 100 bits away” ‘Even know dad earns 45 bits an hour the sod’

‘……..I’m bored now’ Just then, the almighty Lucky Luke came down and generated a sound like a knock, right upon the door.

‘Guess that something to do, open the door’

Another knock not giving me a chance to open it before.

“Alright yeah impatient fuck, jees” I opened it via magic and generic guard number 23 appeared with a satchel. Seriously bloody enchantment was a pain to stick on their helmets and armour to ‘blend them in’. Making them all the same colour, grey for unicorn, white for earth and pegasi. It deactivates once they take it off. Yeah guess you didn’t guess who commissioned that ballache of an order. This dude be unicorn.

“Evening ma’am, is this the residence of Commander Lance and Miss Shine?”

I could tell he was blushing slightly as his eyes wondered all over me.

“Since it says on the post box who lives ‘ere, and since we’re at said house which belongs on said property, I’ll let you think that one”

The guard didn’t realise and gave a sorry look towards me.

“Sigh, sorry. I’m annoyed and I took it out on you when you’re just doing yeah job. But yeah I’m Spark Shine, Ash Lance is my dad”

“Oh that’s perfectly fine ma’am, it can be stressful at times so no need to apologise”

‘Whatever mate’

He levitated me a scroll and I took it in my magic. “This is for the Commander, please give it to him. I have a verbal message from Captain Shining Armour for you ma’am”.

“Shining hey, what’s he want? Come to give the bits he owes me”

“Hehe, he did mention you say that but no, he wishes to see you at the palace as soon as possible”

“Well I guess I could see him now, not got anything else going on”

I heard hoofsteps behind me and saw Silver with his eyebrow arched.

“Madame Shine, are you letting this old brittle stallion retire by taking over for me?”

“Pfff, fuck off Silver. You enjoy my antics, also do me a solid and give this to dad please, came from the palace for him”

He took hold of the scroll and nodded to me then looked past me towards the guard.

“I do hope Madame Shine here has greeted you in manner befitting one of her status sir”

“In a way sir, I have been ‘ahem’ told of her ways”

‘Does he want a scrap or what?’

“Whatever, oh I’m heading to the palace Silver. Shining wants me for some reason”

He nodded. “I will notify the master and mistress of this event, please try to keep your antics in check”

I leaned in towards his muzzle and he leaned away from me a bit but kept his position.

Sniff, ‘Bourbon you fuck’.

“Someponies getting bold”

I was about to leave but I shouted at Silver “You smell of booze Silver!!!”

‘I hope mum and dad heard that’

“If you would like an escort ma’am Shine, I’d be happy to. I’m heading back that way” Number 23 spoke.

“Yeah I could use the company cheers, also call me Spark. Hate that formal crap”

He nodded in acknowledgement and we both set off.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So Generic Guard 23 has a name, a Private Morning Sun. his talent is light. I wish I was joking but I’m not, dude is born to be a fucking lighthouse or something I dunno. Turns out he doesn’t get tired from lighting his horn and can provide a mass amount of light, hence the name. You notice that the names for some reason tells you what their talent is going to be. It’s fucking weird. I blame magic because as I found out, if science can’t explain it, magic is somehow involved.

But yeah the guy is a greenie, only been a guard for like 2 weeks so he was assigned the mail job to get use to the area. Fair enough, wasn’t expecting him to say his next set of words though.

We stopped right outside the office of Captain Shining Armour, my shield obsessed cousin. How did we know, two guards stood on either side of the door. That and his name is on the door.

We stood about 3 feet away from the right guard. “Well, here we are. Say I know I’m new here so I was hoping that, well maybe we could go for a drink, maybe show me around town?”

A slight blush had spread on him and he was nervous. ‘Bless him, but I gotta tell him’

“Sun, your sweet and I don’t mind hanging out with yeah, you seem fun. But I don’t know what you look like under that enchanted armour. Besides erm, fuck how do I put it?”

I leaned in to whisper to his ear “I have both”.

A confused face formed on him, “Sigh, I’m a hermaphrodite, I have a dick and a vagina”

“Oooh, I am so sorry Spark. Is that common knowledge?”

“To the ones I’ve slept with yeah, and my mates”

“Wait you have a herd?” His eyes widening.

“What? No. Mates as in friends”

Him understanding for the second time in a row. “Fair enough then, I’m straight so again, I am sorry”

“Don’t be, yeah didn’t know. Besides doesn’t stop us from hanging out”

“True if it’s ok with you”

“Ha, cause it is. I need to see what my cousin wants but yeah hit me up sometime”
He nodded. “Will do, and thanks Spark”

He walked off and I was about to put my hoof on the door until two swords were drawn in a cross right in front of me.

“Halt, state your business with the Captain”

“…….If you two don’t get these pieces of metal out of my face, I will shove them so far up your flankholes that the next time you brush your teeth, you’ll be polishing the fucking sword!”

Both flinched due to my outburst and a voice came from the door “Just let her in!”

‘Did they just gulp in fear? Better have done’

“Y yes sir” The guards, opening the door and sheathing their swords. Each giving a salute.

I walk in to see Shining at his desk, papers everywhere looking at me smiling.

“Really have to be that violent with them Sparks?”

I kicked the door shut and sat in the chair opposite to him. “Fucking nerve, better have been new recruits”

“Yes they are, about 50 new this year. Only been on for about 2 weeks now so there not use to having you around yet”.

“Hmph, should make it part of the training then. Look out for this sexy white unicorn who is related to the Captain, piss her off and you’ll see why 3 dropped out of the guards last year due to ‘outside’ interference” Me holding my hoofs in the air trying to imitate the air quotes.

“Got a point, you were always ‘forceful’ cousin.”

“Not my fault your crap at fighting, you just hid in your bubble”

“Hey now, less of that. I’m still older then you, so respect your elders”.

I scrunched up a piece of paper and threw it at his head, resulting in a bop and the paper rolling on the floor.

“Grow a pair”

“Sigh, anyway I call you here for a reason”

“Damn Shining, you need to lighten up. You aren’t this uptight usually”

“I’m worried, reports of missing civilians in villages near the Badlands have been cropping up…….Probably shouldn’t have told you that.”

“Heh, mouths shut Shining. You know me”

“Thank you, you’re good at keeping secrets. If word gets out then panic will run through Equestria.”

“Whole villages though? That is weird. No clue where they went?”

He shook his head. “None, that’s why I’m so ‘uptight’ as it were. Security is mental at the moment. But the reason you’re here is I need a favour from you”.

“Anything for family”. ‘Probably gonna ask me to make a set of enchantments to locate the missing ponies. Would defo give me a fair few bits to spend’

“I need you to go to Ponyville and stay with Twilight for a while. Just until this blows over”

“Ooh, was not expecting that response but, right. Ponyville, that little village near that forest right?”

“Everfree forest yeah, since its more South towards the Badlands I’m worried for Twily and Spike’s safety”

“Well, can’t blame you but why me though?”

“Well since she and her friends have become the elements of harmony now for about 2 years now she is a target for those who wish to see Equestria harmed, and by Celestia if anypony lays a hoof on Twily I’ll….”

“Woah Shining I get man chill.”

He stopped his little rant and breathed deeply. “Thank you, but will you go?”

“I don’t have much going for me here. Been a while since I saw the bookworm and the lizard so yeah why not, take it you don’t want me to mention the wedding to her?”

“Nope, do not say anything. I’d like it to be a surprise for her. She’s gonna be so happy to know I’m marrying her babysitter”

“Aye, well what time you want me down there with them?”

“I was hoping you could go tomorrow, I might have put a letter through explaining you’re staying there for a few months plus”

“You fucking with me? Now I gotta pack and its 5 you fuck.”

“I am sorry for the short notice.” He sheepishly smiled at me. ‘Wait something off, oh he better not have?”

“My parents fucking know don’t they?”

“Erm I might have asked them first, and then told your friends what time the train is leaving in the morning”

“FUCK HAVE I SAID ABOUT MAKING PLANS WITHOUT TELLING ME, YOU WANKER!!!” I jumped over the desk and tackled him to the ground. He wasn’t ready so he didn’t put up his shield in time.

I held him in a lock which made sure he could use his front hooves to grab me.

The door flew open with the same two retards drawing their swords near.

“Captain, Release him!”

I turned to look at them, both backing away from me. “Fuck did I say about them swords you dickheads”

“Argh, I'll make it up to you!” Shining’s face mushed into the floor.

“........I’m waiting”

“I’ll, gah. I’ll send you a supply of rum and projects”.

I let go of him and stood up.

He gasping for air and rubbing his neck. “Guess I deserved that.” He looked at the guards how stood their trying to make sense of the situation. “Stand down you two, family squabble”

Both saluted and returned back to their posts trying very hard not to make eye contact with me.

“Better give me that shit you said boi”

“I will do” He threw his front hoof around me and I returned the favour. “Thank you Spark, I can sleep peacefully”

“Why is Cadence that needy in bed?” I grinned at him.

I quickly ran outside the door before a ton of papers were thrown from where I was, smacking a poor maid and throwing her teapot to the side, spilling tea everywhere.

“Haha, take that as a yes then”

The two guards were stunned as to what just happened, turning to see Shining Armour quickly apologising for hitting the poor mare then giving me a scowl.

Haha, fucking Shining man.

Author's Note

Oh yes, another chapter so soon. Tis a joyful moment in telling the tales of Shine Spark the Hermaphrodite. That and seeing all the wonderful comments does make it worthwhile so i thank you guys. Very happy people are enjoying this story, was worried i was doing bad. But anyway i hope you all have a great weekend that's coming up. Adios