Twilight Sparkle. Personal student of Princess Celestia. Loves to read and has a mass amount of knowledge in her noggin. Young adult who is too innocent in the terms of love and romance (In my words ‘animal urges’), sister to the Captain of the guard and whose mother married my uncle and then had the two kids. So yeah they are both my cousins. One commands the guard, while the other one is perusing the research of friendship……I wish I was joking with that. Christ is that what happens to a nation of 1000 years of peace? They look for the meaning of friendship and love…….Sigh well anyway after the whole fiasco with my beautiful crate of gorgeous liqueur being too ‘dangerous’ and a bad ‘influence’ on me, Twilight teleported the entire crate somewhere in a blink of an eye, thank god I put a tracking spell on it just before she opened the door before and found me taking a swig. Now she thinks I don’t know it’s in the basement. Ha, jokes on you I’m totally getting smashed at some point.

But yeah with that little rant out the way we can carry on with my current situation, in that I was fast asleep in the spare bedroom, key word there being was, when said Twilight Sparkle burst open my door screaming GOOD MORNING MY COUSIN!!! Well alright she didn’t scream that part but she did scream WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?! Turns out that I couldn’t bare the thought of leaving my poor and defenceless rum by itself, so I did a little ninja and took a bottle, and may have had half of it throughout the night, then I cuddled with it since I was slightly tipsy and needed a cuddle buddy. Me and the pillow had an argument last night so he was on the floor.

So right now in the grasp of the fowl demon wench was my bottle of elixir with a face to match the colourful words. Sadly for me I felt like cowering under the covers in the presence.

“A wishful fairy granted me my wish last night” Me saying, muffled under the quilt. Gotta say though it smells nice, probably because I slept in them and the slight whiff of rum.

“Sigh, Spark seriously. I do not want you drunk unless it’s planned otherwise. I’ve been warned about your antics and I will make sure you do your job here missy”

“What?”

I pushed my head out the covers to see her at the doorway.

“What job?”

“Wait did Shining not tell you why your down here?”

I gave her a questioning look. “Why did he say to you?”

“Well, he said that you will be staying here for a few months or longer, working on the shipment of scanners and barriers to stop the wildlife coming into Ponyville from the Everfree”

‘What da fuck you on about? I didn’t agree to this! I agreed to keep an eye on you cause of the whole disappearance thing, unless Shining is keeping that info from her. He did say a matter of security I guess but what’s this to do with scanner and barriers?’

“I’m guessing by the look on your face you don’t know why you’re here then?”

“I thought it was a holiday” Of course I had to lie to her, and unconsciously my left ear flicked due to said lie.

“Sigh no, well kind of but you are being employed by Princess Celestia and the guard to help build scanners and barriers around the border of the Everfree forest. Hopefully that will stop any unwanted monsters from turning up in our town. Be nice to have some quiet in this town for a change.”

“Right scanner and barriers, couldn’t be fucking anything simple could it? Fuck my liiiiife”

Me leaning back on the bed and putting the covers back on me.

“Quit whining. Honestly your 21 years old and sometimes you act like a foal. Mmhph”

This resulting in my pillow randomly (not by magic) fly into her face.

“Bite me”

Just then a heavenly scent had appeared from the doorway into the room.

Sniff. “That pancakes I smell?”

“Yes. Spike is cooking them for breakfast and I was”

Not giving her a chance to finish I sped past her and ran towards the kitchen table to see stack of pancakes and syrup on the side of the table. Spike wearing a pink apron with a love heart on it? Whatever, his choice. Him putting on the last pancake on top of the pile. Then noticing me in the corner by the doorway.

“Oh hey Spark, sleep well?”

“Very well thank you. Did have a bit of help with it, take it Twilight still burns stuff when she cooks?”

Spike jumping onto a chair and getting his share of the breakfast. “Yeah, hence why I do the cooking around here. I don’t trust her to make a cup of coffee. She and Sweetie Belle are the same are culinary skills”

“I met this Sweetie Belle?”

“Oh yeah you haven’t yet. She’s Rarity’s little sister, give it time and you’ll probably run into the trio. Or they’ll target you in getting their cutiemarks in something”

“Riight, I’ll keep an eye out then” ‘Not bad pancakes lizard. Not use to this much sugar though’

“Thanks for waiting guys, also Spark that was rude to ignore me like that”

I turn to see Twilight come into the kitchen and grab a hooful of pancakes diving a fork into them with her magic.

“Love you too Purple”

I winked at her while she rolled her eyes at me, Spike giggling a little. “Anyway what’s the plan today?” ‘Gonna need to know if I’m doing anything, otherwise I might as well get started on that Everfree book again’

“Well the supplies for the scanners and barriers won’t arrive for another week so I thought I could show you around a bit more, perhaps meet the rest of my friends if there not too busy”

“Go for it” ‘Least she dropped the whole rum thing’

“Oh also, we are having a talk about your alcohol problem”

“Shit”

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yeah after the whole breakfast and the ‘talk’ about my ‘alcohol problem’ which is complete bullshit, I do not have a problem with ethanol. I like the stuff. You Twilight are the one who has the problem…….but yeah moving on.

We (by we I mean the purple prick and me) found ourselves outside a cottage with a small bridge built over a stream. Tons and I mean tons of animals were out and about. Birds, rabbits, badgers and a….bear. Alright then.

“Well here we are Spark. This is Fluttershy’s cottage”

I looked round a bit more and it just felt way too girly. This coming from a 21 year old who is half fucking female. Guess I am a bit of a tomboy in mind but girly in appearance.

“Yeah, I ain’t digging this place Twi”

“Why not? It’s so peaceful here. All the animals are cared for by Fluttershy and all are healthy.”

“Girl look at this place. I feel like I’ve dived into a fuckin fairy tale. I mean come on, there’s a bear chilling with a bunch of fish….and it ain’t eating them. Don’t mess with my nature” ‘I know my mind is still attached to how Earth’s nature worked, and ive accepted how nature works here but now? You’re taking the piss’

“Sigh, come on Spark give her a chance”

“Oi. I didn’t say I wasn’t, but place she lives I’m fucking burning it when I have a chance”

We made our way to the front door but on the way I felt something land on me. Turning my head to see a small robin land on my back giving me a tweet.

“Since your cute I’ll let yeah stay on me” Giving me a small tweet and then nestling in my mane near my right ear, Twilight giggling into her hoof.

“I didn’t know you were good with animals Spark”.

If they don’t piss me off, speaking of you better not shit in my mane Red”. Another tweet emanating from the little KFC snack

Twilight knocked on the door and about 10 seconds later a little white rabbit opened the door.

“Oh hi Angel. Is Fluttershy free for a bit? I’ve brought my cousin Spark to meet her”

The rabbit giving a good look before he noticed the Robin in my mane. The bird doing a noise and the rabbit nodding before opening the door for us so we can enter.

‘Christ, need any more birdhouses?’

Looking around proved to be a typical cottage, with way too many animals about. The rabbit holding his paw to us and hopped into the kitchen, probably to get this Fluttershy.

“Well Spark, pretty cosy right?”

“My point still stands”

“What’s that then?”

“…..I need a match for that and a lot of petrol”

“Spark, be nice. Besides don’t forget most ponies aren’t use to your ‘jokes’ so be gentle with her ok”

“Fiiine. I won’t bite hard……unless she asks me”

This caused Twilight to facehoof. “This was a mistake”

“Oh hi Twilight and erm……”

Looking behind Twilight proved to see why she was called FlutterSHY. Yellow pegasus with a long pink mane that she tried to hid her face and look anywhere else besides me and she’s blushing? Alright then.

“Hey Fluttershy, I wanted you to meet my cousin Spark Shine. Spark this is Fluttershy, she takes care of the animals here in Ponyville and is the element of kindness”

I walked up to her however each step she tried to become smaller by going into a ball, kind of.

“Hey girl, gotta say the animals be happy here. Must be doing something right”

“Oh erm, er thank you erm Spark eeep”

I couldn’t hear I thing she said so I turned to Twilight hoping she caught that, judging on her face though proved otherwise.

“Right well, I can tell I’m making you nervous soooo I’ll get out of your mane” As I was about to move the Robin did his signature noise…….the tweet making Fluttershy jolt up to look in my mane to see a little bird face near my right ear.

“Oh Mr Robin you can’t just nestle in other ponies manes like this, oh I’m so sorry for his behaviour”

‘……Da fuck, she just did a 180 on me on her behaviour. Right well I guess if she chats bout animals, she free from her shell?’

“Errr, its cool Fluttershy. Red hasn’t dropped one on my head yet so he’s alright up there.”

“Oh well if you say so Spark, eer ep” She looks to the side again once we made contact with our eyes as she started to move her front hoof on the floor a bit.

“Well, why don’t you” A crash of wood had stopped me in my sentence just out the back of the cottage.

“Oh my, what was that?”

“Dunno but it stopped me from saying my sentence, bloody rude”

“We best check what it was. Somepony might be hurt” Twilight walking towards the noise causing Fluttershy to gasp in thought and rush as well.

“The adventure continues I guess” Me shrugging and then walking right behind Fluttershy.

‘Gotta say girl, curves in the right places. Noice’

As I made my way through the kitchen and outside, I saw what was once a small wooden shed, or what’s left of it and a bunch of light blue feathers about.

“Fuck happened here?”

“Gasp Rainbow Dash!” Fluttershy gasping and flying towards the rubble trying to pick up the rubble and struggling. Twilight started to use her magic to grab the pieces and saw me just stood there with an arched eyebrow.

“Spark help me shift these planks off of Rainbow, she could be hurt”

“Sigh yes mom” I felt my grasp on a broken piece and moved it to the side via telekinesis. About 5 pieces of wood were moved before we heard a moan under the pile and a hoof shooting up.

“Rainbow, it’s alright Twilight and Spark are moving the rubble”

“Argh, Twilight and who?”A muffled voice from said shed.

Another 10 pieces and I saw this Rainbow pegasus start to shake off the remainder of the shed. She had a few scratches and cuts on her with a couple open wounds causing blood to drip down.

“Ow, that hurt.”

“Rainbow, come inside and I’ll patch you up” Fluttershy dragging a blue pegasus out the rubble.

Never would have fucking guessed her name was Rainbow. Is it to do with her mane being a B&Q Colour palette. I wonder if she smells of Skittles? Oh, now I miss them’

“Argh, thanks Shy. Sorry I kinda of busted up your shed there. I was doing a trick and I didn’t time the wind pick up on my primary feathers properly”

Both the pegasi went inside and me and Twilight looked at once was a shed.

I had to ask though “She do this a lot Twi?”

“Sigh yep, gimme a hoof sorting what’s salvageable in this pile”

‘Fucking more work, starting to regret waking up today’

Took about 20 minutes to sort out the contents of the shed. A few animal food bags, a bucket various other crap. About 20 yards was the stuff deemed 'traaaash'. All the wood and a few broken wooden containers.

“Thanks for patching me up Shy, you’re the best. I’ll pay you back for your shed”

“Rainbow I’m more concerned about you, and it is only a shed. No need to worry”

‘Took yeah damn time, considering it was your mess and I cleaned it up……I really need to chill.’

“Fluttershy, we moved the stuff that was salvageable, I’ve made a list of what’s in this pile here’

“Oh my, thank you girls for sorting it out”

I’m assuming Fluttershy went to look at the list as I heard a small ‘mmmm’ behind me. Guessing that is Rainbow. Once I turned my head I saw her in a few bandages covering her cuts, one on her muzzle and she was staring at my flank.

“Ahem”

She looked at me and sheepishly smiled with tinge of red on her cheeks.

“Buy me dinner first Skittles” I responded in a dull tone.

“Aheheh, sorry about that”

I smiled at her. “I’ll take it as a compliment. Now go find me a match”

“Wait a match, why?”

I pointed at the pile in front of me surrounded by rocks on each side. “Imma light this sucker up”

She nodded and walked back inside to for them.

About five minutes in she found them and I had found two lawn chairs and set them near the fire to lay on.

She handed me the box and I struck the match and set it into the pile resulting in a nice fire to spring up. Rainbow got into a chair and leaned back. Sadly when I was about to get comfortable in the other chair, a purple sod had to shout.

“Spark what are you doing lighting a fire?!”

“I need this Bookworm, don’t you dare take this from me”

Twilight and Fluttershy running towards us.

“You, just you. WHY!” Twilight shouting in my left ear causing a shuffle in my mane.

“Pile of wood was useless, plus I need to watch this. It calms me down”

“But ,but sigh. Are you ok with this Fluttershy?”

“Oh, yes its ok. It’s far away from the animals and my home, if Spark wanted this who am I to deny her”

“Shit, should have asked you before though. Sorry Fluttershy, it is your place after all”

“Oh erm, that’s ok Spark” Cringing at the swear word. ‘Best be careful round this one with my words then’

“Ha, you’re funny Spark. We should chill once you’re free.” Rainbow saying to my left holding her hoof out at me.

“Promise not smash anything else and deal” I resulted in bumping her hoof.

“Hey, it’s not all the time I crash. I’m still training for the wonderbolts and I have to be in tip top form” She says as she tries to flex which only resulted in her hurting herself more.

‘Smooth one girl’

“Wonderbolts heh? Gonna need to be quick with them. Especially that Fleetfoot, bloody sod owes me 20 bits now that I think about it”

Second I finished that I felt a notion as the left side of my chair was baring more weight, turning to see Rainbow with starry eyes and very close to my face. Like inches away.

“You knew one of the wonderbolts?” Rainbow in an excited response.

“Knew one? More like the whole team, Fleetfoot is one of my friend’s sister. That’s how I got introduced to them like 5 years ago I think”

“But you met them, like in pony, right in front of you”

“Skittles, I banged one of them. Let’s just say Soarin was 'Sore' afterwards heh”

“You….and Soarin…..did…stuff?” Rainbow muttering to herself a bit.

“Yeah, 2 years ago I think. He keeps asking me for another round. Dude likes it up there yeh know”

“Soarin is a…oh wow” Rainbow’s wings sprang up erect like a throbbing….like I don’t need to tell you really. I heard another thump as Fluttershy’s did the same while Twilight had a confused expression.

“I don’t get it, what does Soarin like up where? Also what is it exactly?”

“Sigh, Twilight. I’ll tell you when you’re older”

“What? I’m older then you by 3 months, 6 days and 3 hours”

“Aaand yet you know nothing about ‘animal urges’ Twi. Fucking astounding”

“Oh my” Fluttershy turning as red as possible.

“Erm, probably shouldn’t tell you guys that Soarin likes a bit of cucumber. I’d appreciate it if you girls didn’t say out”

“Now Soarin likes Cucumber? How is that a personal thing?” Twilight being as virgin as possible.

“Twilight”

“Yes Spark”

“…..Do me a favour and shut it, also Rainbow. Could of told me you brought a bag of marshmallows with yeh?”

“Huh, I didn’t bring a bag of, oh hey there is one with some sticks. Hey we could roast these” Her holding out the bag, looking at the bag there was a note attached to it.

“Fuck is this?” I levitated the note. On it was the words

‘You are invited to the best party you ever will have.

Come to the library at 6pm

Signed your new best friend

‘……What?’

The others looking over my shoulder and each acknowledging it, leading me to believe they know who this was.

“You three gonna tell me who sent this?”

“Sorry Spark, that’s a secret. You’ll have to wait till 6 for that answer.” Twilight smirking at me.

Rainbow doing the same and Fluttershy smiling at me. ‘Won’t lie, she is adorable’

Rainbow opening the bag and putting the marshmallows on the sticks while Twilight got 2 more chairs from the kitchen.
"By the way Sparks quick question" Rainbow asking me

"What is it?"

"When you mean Soarin, erm likes it up there, like how? Your a mare right?"

"Oh, yeah i guess you and Fluttershy don't know, i have both male and female parts"

Silence as they processed that, earning yet again 2 pairs of wings popping a boner.
"Oh my"

"Whoa, that's awesome"

"Really Spark, couldn't have told them a different way?" Twilight being a prick again.

"Best tell them now before I get drunk tonight and forget"

"Sigh, at least I made that 200 possible outcome list of how to deal with you" Twilight munching on a slightly toasted marshmallow.

"Should have made 201 outcomes bookworm" Causing Rainbow to laugh in her chair.

About 4 hours later ( sadly had to say goodbye to Red the robin, something about being on the prowl for a mate, his words not mine according to Fluttershy) we found ourselves walking towards the library through the town. Speaking of town, it’s a bit quiet for nearly 6pm.

“Erm, where is everypony? This place feels like a friggin ghost town”

Twilight was in front of me with Fluttershy by her side while rainbow was beside me behind them.

“I don’t know Spark, it is nearly dinner time after all”

‘Alright Twilight I know your bullshitting. Your voice is different, but I'll let it pass’

“Uh huh sure”

Took about 10 more minutes to get to what Twilight calls home, I call kindling. For some reason though, they each just stood there smiling at me several yards from the entrance.

“Doors right there yeh sods, or we just standing here?”

“I was hoping you would open it Spark, I’m starting to get a headache with the amount of magic I’ve used today” Twilight’s excuse

“Er, yeah I’m hurt anyway so yeah, I can’t open the door” Rainbows excuse

I looked at Fluttershy waiting for her excuse but all she did was eep into a ball.

“Fuck sake, fine I’ll open the damn door. Too thirsty at this point”

As I did though, I stepped inside to utter darkness.

“Fucks the switch in this place?”

“SURPRISE!!!”

“AHHHHHH”

Clutching my heart I saw as the lights flicked on, various ponies with party streamers everywhere, food placed on the table and a punch bowl to the side. A music desk was set up in the corner for the DJ and then my vision was just the colour Pink.

“Hi Spark Shine, I’m pinkie pie. I am so happy I finally get to meet you, I was supposed to meet you yesterday but I had a massive order at the sugaercube corner, which is where I work at as a baker making delicious pasties and sweets most of which was for this party that is in your honour, I hope we become best friends as I made sure to get all the townsfolk or those that were able to come so you could become friends with them as well as I loooove to make people smile and mmpphh” Rainbow jamming a hoof into the girl’s mouth. Girl speaking like she is on drugs on something as she was quick to speak.

“Sigh, bloody warning next time yeh pink menace”

Rainbow removed her hoof to look at me with an arched eyebrow “Wait you understood her every word?”

I nodded to this “Remember that friend who is the sister of Fleetfoot? She talks like that when she meets new ponies, ain’t no different really”

“Huh, well that’s neat” Pinkie rushing towards me with her hoof round my neck.

“Well my sexy new friend, what do yeah think of this awesome super dupey party?” She said cheerfully.

“Tis snazzy, thanks Pinkie”

“Awww, anything for you girl. Now let’s PAAARRTYYYYY!”

Music popping into the ears of the ponies and mingling around

Looking up I recognised the DJ straight away.
‘Da fuck is Notes doing here?’

Author's Note

Welp that chapters done, hope you guys liked the two chapters put out bout Ponyville so far. Next one will be another CLOP chapter, just a fair warning to yeah. Enjoy the rest of your day guys and hope you got a giggle out of this