The Journals Of A Human

This day did not exactly go the way that I'd have liked it to, but then again I have the shittiest luck.

So, I learned to just roll with it.

I woke up to a loud crash within the castle. Instinctively, I grabbed the nearest weapon, my handgun, and a spare magazine. I paced smoothly down the hall scanning quickly every nook and cranny as I went, until I came across a larger set of double doors from where the sound originated from.

I'm really getting sick of these things.

So I stepped off to the side to the right side of the doorway, and kept my sidearm ready. I paused for a moment to listen, thinking that maybe I was just overreacting, but then a loud and high pitched scream immediately kicked me into overdrive. I kicked open the door busting the latch, rushing in with my barrel up, and as I scanned across the room looking for threats I noticed the five mares sitting in crystal thrones. They were around a large map and were staring at me mouth agape. It was then I realized that not only did I probably barge threateningly into what was most likely a friendly get together, but I was also only in my underwear.

Yeah, not one of my finest moments...

Twilight was the first to speak, “Uhhh John, what was that all about?”

“Well I heard a loud noise, I went to investigate and then a loud scream came through this door,” I responded.

Rarity stepped through the door I had come through, she took a second to assess the damage to the door then looking over to me over before responding, “Oh well then I should thank you for your actions then...” she paused, “...also apologies for instigating them with my scream.”

She then gave looked over at my nearly undressed form with a slight blush, “Oh may I ask, do all humans usually dress so….minimalistically?”

I cleared my throat a bit with tint of rose color to my cheeks, “Well, this is fairly standard athletic underwear humans wear, I usually dress like this when I sleep to stay cool......and since I was trying to get here in a hurry I didn’t have time to change into my normal clothes.”

“Oh, well I’m sorry for startling you darling, which reminds me, I would like you to come with me after breakfast so I can take your measurements for your new clothing,” She stated.

“Ok, I’ll be over after then….and may I ask you a question?” I asked while looking intently at the diamonds on her flank.

“Yes darling?”

“What is it with the marks on your flanks, I noticed almost everypony I’ve seen has one.”

Twilight and the other four mares got out of their chairs and walked to me, and I noticed that they were all similarly about half my size in height. A slightly taller orange mare with a blonde mane spoke up, “Well they’re our cutie marks,” She had a southern accent and her mark was three apples, “Ah’m Applejack, but you can call me AJ.” She stuck out her hoof to which I stuck out my hand, I was surprised by a firm and energetic shake.

The next mare to come up to me was a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane, “Don’t humans have cutie marks?” She questioned with a tilt of her head,” Oh, and I’m Rainbow Dash by the way, fastest flyer in all of Equestria,” she had a cloud with a red, yellow and blue lightning bolt. She sounded cocky, especially about the fastest flyer bit, with a bit of a rasp to her voice but friendly all the same.

The next mare to come up to me was a pale gold pegasus with a pale pink mane and three butterflies for her cutie mark. She spoke in a very soft and gentle voice, “I’m fluttershy...” I didn’t hear her at first, so I got kneeled down while trying to look as passive as possible. I was lowered to about her height and spoke softly, “I’m John.” This time she spoke a bit louder, “I-I’m Fluttershy...”

I smiled at her for pushing through her shyness, “Well, it’s very nice to meet you Fluttershy.” She looked up and smiled back at me.

Last in the line was a pink earth pony, with an even brighter pink mane. When I went to introduce myself, she just gasped then ran off in puff of dust leaving me just standing there with a confused look on my face.

Twilight just walked up to me and said, “Don’t worry, that’s just pinkie pie being pinkie pie.”

“Ah…..Well, I think that I’m going to go get dressed, what time do we have to meet with the princess?”

Twilight glanced to the clock that was hanging on the wall, “Well the next train to Canterlot leaves in about an hour and a half, so you should have enough time to meet with Rarity and then get to the station.”

“Ok, I’ll see you then.”

I walked into my room to change into my combats and don all my gear. Once out of the castle, I made my way through the town. It took me about ten minutes to find Rarity’s shop, I’ll admit, I may have had to stop for directions. Also, I found that most of the local ponies were actually quite welcoming. One of them being a zebra of all things, was the one who gave me directions to Rarities place. Though she said it all in some of sort of rhyme.

I stopped outside Rarities shop, the words ‘Carousel boutique’ hung from a sign above the doorway. I opened the door and saw that Rarity was standing in the center of the shop, behind a mannequin doing something. As I opened the door, it hit a little bell which signaled its opening, and caused Rarity to look up.

“Good morning darling, come this way, and I’ll get your measurements!~” Her horn ignited around my arm and I ducked to avoid smacking my head on the low door.

She led me into a more open area and then she brought out a piece of measuring tape, “Now I need you to take of your clothes so I can take your measurements.”

So, I took off all my gear and clothes, leaving me in only my underwear, “I do mean everything off darling, most ponies don't wear much anyways.” Before I could say anything in protest, her horn lit up as she removed my boxers leaving me completely naked.

The look on her face was absolutely hilarious.

“O-o-oh my uhm,” was all she managed to say as I grabbed my boxers and put them back on.

“I tried to warn you, there’s a reason that we wear clothes and especially on our lower half.” It took her a few minutes, but Rarity finally regained her composure and set off to taking my measurements.

Once she had finished she asked, “So what exactly would you like me to make you?”

I lifted up my uniform, “For starters, I’d like two more of these in this pattern, two in a tan color, two in black, and two plain black tops with tan bottoms. Then maybe some more casual clothes as well, and if I came at a bad time, I can wait,” Rarity studied my uniform closely.

“Don’t worry darling, your clothes will be ready very soon, I love a good challenge. Now go on, you have a train to catch.”

I smiled as I put my gear back on and walked out the door. Just before it closed, I heard Rarity sigh, “I wouldn't mind measuring him some more...”
I got a good laugh out of that.

Eventually I made my way to the station, but my luck wasn’t having it today. In front of the station was Twilight and some other very tall unicorn pony. She was about to my the middle of my chest in height which was about a head taller than most, with a white coat and a pink mane that kind of looked similar to Fluttershy’s. There were other ponies there, but I could already hear the conductor’s announcement, “I’m sorry folks but the train is out of service, all tickets will be refunded or replaced for tickets on a later train if we can get this one repaired.”

“Shitbucket,” I replied as I walked up to Twilight, “So I take it there’s been a delay?”

“Unfortunately, yes, the train seems to be broken and they don’t know how long it will be to repair it” she replied

“So, what’s that mean for my meeting with Celestia?” I asked

“I’m glad you asked” she replied “I already sent her a letter informing her that you would be late, but that you would be hiking up the mountain”

I looked down to her with a look on my face that just said ‘Really?’

She saw my look and sighed “Don’t worry, it should only be a day’s hike, and I’ve arranged for a guide to help you”

I stuck my hand out to the guide “I’m John”

She smiled and shook it back and her voice sounded a little older than she looked but I paid it no mind “Thank you dear, my name is Majesty, I’ll be your guide up to Canterlot”

I un-clipped my rifle and reconfigured the sling for a two-point and slung the rifle on my back over my pack “Well it’s nice to meet you Majesty, when do we start our ascent?”

She placed some kind of saddle pack on her back with her magic “Right now if you’re ready.”

“Lead the way.” I said as she smiled and we began to make our way to the base of the mountain, funny enough, there’s a trail that goes up the side of it, then again folks needed a way to come and go from the mountain city before the train was invented. We stopped at the base of the mountain and Majesty turned to me

“It's probably best if we stop for lunch here, we won't reach the city until late tonight so I think it will be best if we take the longer trail up the backside of the mountain, there’s a nice little lake there that we can set up camp at.”

“Ok, you’re the guide.” I replied as I sat down and pulled out an MRE, and I was happy to see that it was the beef patty “Well at least it’s not the creamy spinach fettuccine...” I said as I tore it open and poured some water into the heating pack before wrapping it around the meal pack.

“Huh?” Majesty turned to me and I saw she had some kind of flower sandwich out as she pointed to my MRE “what is that exactly?”

I smiled “The army’s greatest invention, the Meal Ready to Eat, where the majority of options are bland or taste horrible.” I lifted up the slightly hot beef patty on the bread with the cheese spread “Take this for example, the Jalapeño and cheese burger, like a normal burger…but fucking disgusting,” and I took a bite and swallowed, “But it’s better than nothing...”

She got a small laugh out of my commentary “I see…you know from what I’ve seen your quite the card for a military man.”

“Yeah I guess.” I replied.

She smiled as she bit into her sandwich, “So tell me a little about yourself and your military.”

“Well you know my name already so…..well I’m 28, about 6 feet tall, don’t exactly know my weight at the moment, and I'm a computer engineer, and in my free time, I reenact battles...Still don’t know how I got here though.”

“So your military doesn’t know of our world?”

“To my knowledge, no. Trust me, if your world was found by mine you’d be an internet sensation, I can already hear the news people.” I moved my hand apart to kind show a headline “Breaking news, tonight at six, NASA has found a world like ours inhabited by magic talking and flying horses!”

Majesty broke out into full blown laughter at my joke “Oh my goodness that is funny.”

I smiled “It's good to have someone to laugh at my jokes.”

“Well it's not to often that I have customers, I mostly do work on the trail keeping it in good condition then I do leading ponies up it.” she replied as she finished her sandwich.

“Huh…Interesting.” I replied

With lunch finished, we began to make our way up the mountain. Most of the time I was silent, it was obvious to me that Majesty was enjoying the sights and probably the quiet from me. She probably hated the sound of my voice, but then again who doesn’t?

My self-deprecating train of thought was interrupted when Majesty turned around to me “You ok back there? You’ve been awfully quiet.”

“Oh…uhh…. yeah I’m fine.” I replied

She walked up to me and raised her eyebrow at me “Are you sure? You don’t sound fine.”

I sighed “I’m fine…just a….Im fine.”

She looked at me with a raised eyebrow for a few seconds before turning back around “Well then let's get back on the trail, we’ve got a few more miles to the camping point.” and with that she began walking with me following her. About a half hour later I looked out to see how high up we were and, I was going to continue to mentally berate myself, but just as I was about to, I was greeted with one of the most spectacular views in my life, we had just gotten above the clouds and all I could see was an endless sea of blue above the green of the forest and the grass. There was even a city in the distance and it was floating. Yep, you read that right, a floating city. I was in disbelief at first too, but apparently, it’s the city of Cloudsdale, most of the pegasi live there and it’s the hub for the Equestrian Weather Control. But that view, I’m still in love with it. However, it wasn’t enough to cover up the small amount of fear I had. I’m going to admit it, I was very worried about how it was all going to go, there was the potential that after today I could become public enemy number one. Honestly it was very possible with my luck. Especially if my heart kept doing whatever it was doing. All I know is that I don’t deserve love, I don’t get the happy ending.

I was broken from my trance by what I thought was a hint of pink in the clouds and Majesty walking up next to me “I see you’re enjoying the view?”

“Yeah.” I replied “It’s amazing.”

“It's one of my favorite things about this job.” she replied “Honestly if I could I’d spend hours on end just sitting out here with the fresh air and watching as the setting sun turns the clouds into many beautiful shades-”

“And then watch the stars.” I replied, finishing her sentence “Yeah, I know what you mean, I used to do the same thing when I went camping, I’d set up my tent, but on nights when the weather was nice, I’d just lay out there under the stars.”

Majesty sat down next to me, “That sounds rather peaceful.”

“Yeah, it was…but it was never enough to hold over the sadness inside me.” I replied

“What sadness?” she asked

“Depression caused by my Tourettes.”

“What’s that?”

I sighed “Well it’s a mental disorder, causes my brain to send to many signals to my body resulting in physical twitching and a small speech problem, I was diagnosed at six and since then my life’s been hell, at first my family was embarrassed of my existence…but eventually they got used to it, but my peers didn’t. I was harassed and abused day in and day out. Women left me when they found out about it, saying that I deserved to be dumped for a real man, that all I deserved was a lonely death and a funeral that no one would attend…I tried to join my nations military but the medical board said that my disorder disqualified me from serving.”

“They why are you in military clothes?” she asked

“I was wearing them when whatever brought me to this world took me…..you see, before I came here I was at rock bottom, I was alone, I had let myself go, and I was on the verge of suicide, so I’m chalking this all up to that magic tree that I woke up in front of.”

Majesty turned to me with a look of shock, “That’s horrible! How could anypony be so cruel!”

“Because I was different I guess… honestly, I don’t know or care about it anymore. I’ve just accepted that what they said was the truth...that I’m going to live and die alone.” I replied as I picked up a small pebble and began to turn it around in my hand, and as I dent the craziest thing happened, I felt something soft wrap around me, I looked to my right to see that majesty had wrapped her hooves around me and was hugging me. “Uhh….I'm not going to fall, I’m okay.”

“I’m not holding you because I think you’re going to fall, I'm holding you because you need a hug.” she replied I opened my mouth to speak but she put her hoof on it “And there’s nothing you can say to stop me so let it happen.” so I just sat there for a few minutes as she hugged me, eventually, she let go of me “So you believe that the elements had something to do with it?”

I stood up “Yeah, it makes the most sense, and I’m surprised that everyone-er-pony, says that I’m taking this well, I mean what else can I do? Panicking over something I can’t fix isn’t going to help me at all, so why should I worry about it?”

“I see… that’s actually very smart of you…. but may I ask if you’re worried about anything?”

“Well there’s the obvious part of meeting the Princess. I mean Celestia sounds nice and all, but I’m not exactly a good person, and look at me, I don’t exactly scream ‘I come in peace.”

“That is true, but I’m sure the Princess will be understand, and I’m sure she'd be willing to help you.” she got up and we began walking the path together “I’ve met the princess a few times.”

I looked down at her “Oh really?”

“Yes, like I said, my job sometimes involves leading ponies up the mountain, and sometimes, dignitaries do not wish to part with their carriages, so I get called to lead them up. In a way I’m sort of an ambassador.”

“huh, interesting” I replied

“Yes, and like I said, this means I’ve had some meetings with the Princess, and trust me when I say that she’ll understand, I’m sure that she’d even be willing to put you up in the castle for the time being.”

I smiled “Thanks Majesty, that kind of helps ease my worry.”

She smiled “Anything for a friend in need.” she replied

I looked down to her confused “Friend?”

“Yes dear, everypony needs a friend…would you accept my friendship?”

I thought for a bit as I walked “You know what…I think I’d like that.”

She smiled “Good.” We walked for maybe another half hour before we came to the lake that Majesty told me about. It was a nice little clearing, and by the side of the mountain, there was a waterfall that drained into a lake “This is one of the lakes that the river around the castle drains into.”

“Wow.” I replied “This is actually pretty nice.” I walked to the edge of the lake and set down my gear about 100 feet from the water before walking over to the water's edge to see that the lake was crystal clear with a slight orange tint from the now setting sun. I looked to my watch and saw that it was now 1700 or 5PM.

I looked over to Majesty who had already used her magic to set up a small tent for her, and her horn was glowing while she was looking down at a log, my guess was that she was currently trying (And failing) to light a small fire “Come on you stupid thing, light”

I chuckled before I walked over “Need a hand with that?” I asked

“Yes, I suppose I could use some assistance.” she replied

I picked up the log and laid it in the center before taking some of the smaller sticks and leaning it against the log and stuffing some of the napkins from my earlier MRE under it, I then went to my pack and 30 seconds later walked back to the fire with a match “Watch this.” I stuck the match against the rock, which caused it to light and I then placed it in the napkins and waited for them to light the twigs. After a few minutes of adding twigs and blowing on the fire, the log began to catch “There you go.” I replied

Majesty smiled and began to warm up some water from a pot over the fire, “Thank you John, may I ask where you learned that?”

“Yeah, I was a Boy Scout.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s a group from where I’m from, its goals are to teach boys life skills and survival skills.” I replied

“And is there a similar program for females?”

“Yeah, however, from what I’ve heard from family friends and members of that program, even though they have the ability to, the Girl Scouts don’t usually do the same type of activities as the Boy Scouts, and there are also co-ed programs…needless to say there are lots of options for everyone.” I replied

“That is good to hear.” she replied

“Yeah, well if you need me I’m going to make myself some shelter.” and with that I began to make myself a small shelter using a tarp from my bag and some tape up against the face of the mountain. Fifteen minutes later, I had a small little place to rest my head. With my shelter made I walked back over to the fire, just as the water in the pot started to boil “May I ask what your making?”

Majesty smiled “Just heating up some water for some tea, would you like some?”

I shook my head “Thank you, but I’ll pass, I’ve never been much of a tea person.”

“Ah so you’re a coffee drinker?”

“And proud of it, like most people, I need coffee in order to function in the morning.”

Majesty smiled “Not much of a morning person then?”

“I’m basically a zombie before 8 am when things aren't exciting.” I replied, which got a small laugh out of Majesty.

We sat around the fire as the fun finally set and the moon rose in the sky, and it was at that moment that Majesty looked to me and asked “I know now that you are not military, but I’ve seen those things on your back and side, so may I ask what are those weapons that I always see you carrying and why do you have them?” I sighed, well I guess I was going to have to tell her.

“This is my Rifle, there are many like it, but this one is mine.” She looked at me inquisitively as I chuckled at my own shitty joke. “It’s a dangerous weapon.” I pulled out my magazine from the rifle and I cleared the chamber and I picked up the bullet that fell out “This is a bullet, it consists of a primer, a metal casing, explosive power, and the top of the bullet is what gets fired out. The bullet goes into the magazine, and the magazine goes into the rifle. The rifle then has a small pin that hits the primer which ignites the power which propels the bullet down the barrel of the weapon at the target or enemy. And it may be small, but it can do some damage, as for how I got them, I’m going to say it was the tree, and I carry them because I know how to use them and it could be dangerous for anyone who doesn’t know how to use them, or if they wish to use them to bring evil to have them.” I loaded the bullet back into the magazine and it the mag back in the rifle.

Then she pointed to the pistol on my hip “What about that?”

“Basically, the same thing, but on a smaller scale.”

she looked at me with concern in her eye “Why would you need such weapons and how do you know how to use them?” she asked.

“I think I have them for protection, be it my own or for this entire world, and I know how to use them because I used to teach people on how to use them, and because I might not have been in the military, but I did military simulation for many years”

“what is Military simulation”

“Basically, me and a few hundred-other people all get together for a weekend and basically rehearse military operations for fun”

“Ah I see, so you train for fun?”

“Well for me it was kind of therapeutic as when I was out doing it, my Tourette’s would almost disappear, maybe it was because my brain was already operating on high because of the adrenaline, I don’t know, but it helped me and made me feel happy so…yeah.”

“Ah, so it meant more to you than others then?”

“Not really, but yes, it did hold a special place in my life.”

“I see, but what will you do now?”

“I don’t know, I mean it's safe to assume Milsim is out…...maybe I’ll take up wood carving? I used to do a bit of it before I came here but now that I'll have my weekends free, I guess I'll need a new hobby”

“That sounds nice” Majesty replied as she poured herself some tea “…You know contrary to what you may believe, you are a good person John.”

“I don’t know” I replied

“I think that you will fit in very nicely in Equestria, your strong, caring, and you’re a good person.” To be honest her words got me thinking, maybe this world was different from my own. Maybe this world won’t care about my disorder, maybe I won’t ruin this one just by existing.

“Thanks Majesty…. you know, I think that maybe I’ll open up a woodshop here.”

“That sounds like a good idea” she replied

She smiled at me again, and as she did, I felt that stirring in my heart again, but I dismissed it, it's not my heart, I don’t deserve love, but she’s been so nice to me. and yet she still deserves a better friend than me…...I needed sleep, maybe that’ll put a temporary end to this chaotic conflict inside me “I think I’m going to call it a night, I'll see you in the morning”

Majesty smiled and pulled out a book “Okay goodnight John, if you need me i'll be over here, I think I’m going to do some reading before bed.”

“Fair enough.” I replied I started to walk to my shelter, but I stopped and turned to Majesty “…. And majesty…...Thank you for being my friend.”

She smiled back at me “You're quite welcome my dear, goodnight.”

“Night” I replied as I walked to my tent and laid down using my pack as a pillow, and keeping my head propped up so I could watch the stars.

I'm still in my tent watching the stars as i write this, but somehow they look different. They look…..Brighter.