Chapter 3- Clusterf**k

I don’t really know what to say about today. It’s definitely been…...interesting.
--

I woke up around 0630 to see that the sun was coming up, so I got up from my tent to start breaking it down and I saw that I was up first. Or at least I thought I was, the tent flaps on Majesty’s tent were closed, leading me to believe that she was asleep, however, luckily for me, she left the pot out. I walked back to my shelter, broke it down, and placed it into my pack before getting out some coffee from an MRE. I then grabbed the pot and filled it with some water from the lake. The fire didn’t take too long to restart. Once I got the fire going, I took out the pot and I took some paper out from my journal and placed the coffee grounds in it before putting it in the water and putting the top back on it. once that was done I walked around the clearing and found myself some more sticks for the fire, but I kept the two thickest ones. One would be a fire poker, and the other would be for me to carve, and I already knew what I was going to make. I sat back down by the fire after placing some of the wood on it and inspect the coffee pot. Most of the water had now turned to coffee, but I wanted it to percolate a bit “Only a few more minutes.” I sat down with my back against my pack and began to just carve the bark away from the stick. It was only two inches in diameter and a foot long so it didn’t take long.

Once I had the bark cleared away I set the stick aside , folded up my knife, and got my cup to sample some of my coffee. I opened the lid and hucked the paper holding the grounds into the fire before pouring myself a cup and taking a sip from it. As soon as it hit my tongue, I was overwhelmed with the bitter taste. I mean I usually take my coffee black, but trust me when I tell you this, MRE coffee taste like absolute shit. But it was coffee nonetheless so I drank it. As I did, I picked the stick back up and began to carve my little sculpture and drink my coffee. I got about halfway through my second cup, and I was just finishing with the general shape of the carving when Majesty emerged from her tent. I looked to my watch to see that it was 0800, I had spent the past hour or so just sitting by the fire sipping coffee and whittling. “Morning sleepyhead” I replied as she walked up to the fire.

“What is that smell?” she asked “Is that coffee?”

“Yeah” I replied “It ain't the best, but its still coffee, the pot’s on the fire, so if you want some your welcome to it.”

She looked at me and then to the pot and then back to me “I think i'll pass on it for now” she replied “…But may I ask why your up so early? I thought you said you hated mornings.”

“While that is true, I’m still usually up early. I may hate mornings, but life requires me to get up early so…yeah. But hey, at least I have coffee.”

“Oh, I know what you mean.” she replied

I took a few heavy pulls from my mug before pouring myself some more and continuing my carving “Yeah, my father used to joke about it, said that me and him were instant humans, you just had to add coffee.”

She got another chuckle out of that “Yes I have a sister who is like that at times.”

“Older or younger?” I asked

“Younger” she replied “And I do love her so, but sometimes she drives me to my wits end.”

“I hear that, I have a younger brother as well. Me and him were always at each other's throats when we were kids. There were a few times when I just wanted to knock him into next week.” I took another swig of my coffee “But I sure that that’s every older sibling at times.” I looked to the pot to see it was almost empty “You sure you don’t want some coffee?” I asked as I took another sip.

Majesty looked again to me and then back to the pot and smiled “You know what, I think I will try some.” she levitated a cup up to me and I poured the rest of the coffee into it which only filled it up halfway

I cautioned her as I poured it “Now keep in mind that I didn’t put anything in it so it may be a little strong.”

Majesty laughed, “Oh please how bad could it be?” she took a large swig from her cup and I instantly saw her face change as she spit it all out on the fire and proceeded to cough “My goodness, how in the world can you drink or even stomach that swill?”

I chuckled again as I took another swig “Its an acquired taste, and in my defense, MRE coffee isn’t exactly the best, and I did warn you.”

“That is true.” she put her cup away as I finished off mine and went to the lake to clean the pot out. When I came back, I dumped some water on the fire and smothered the ashes. By the time it was safely out it was 0930, Majesty had finished packing up her site. “Are you ready to depart? We only have another hours hike to get to canterlot.”

I threw my pack on my back and walked up to her “I’ve been ready since seven AM.”

She smiled “Oh now don’t get snippy, a girl needs time.”

I raised up my finished carving. It was a small flower, a rose, and I handed it to her. “Here, I want you to have this.”

Majesty looked to me with a look of shock as she took it in her magic. “Thank you John, it's beautiful.” She hugged me and put the wooden rose on her ear, much like a contractor or construction worker would place a pencil there. “If you do start up a woodworking shop, I will definitely frequent it. Now come along, if we don't move quickly, we will be late for our appointment with the princess.” she turned and began to walk up the trail.

I sighed and shook my head as we began to walk up the trail. For better or for worse, I was going to meet the princess, maybe Majesty could come with me, that way she can vouch for me. I mean twilight will probably be there as well, but two's better than one. I actually wonder what the city looks like on the inside, I mean from what I saw from twilight's castle, the Palace seems to be a key part of the city, but then again, the capitol building would probably be the central part of any capitol city. But I wonder what the architecture will be like, and whether or not everything will be filled with the tactical nightmare known as double doors. I was again taken out of my train of thought I I hear Majesty scream and I saw her collapse. I immediately ran up to her “Majesty you ok?”

“Y-Y-Yes, I…I just tripped.” she tried to stand up but she yelling out in pain “I…I can't stand up.”

I looked down to see that her front right leg looked bent in a way that it wasn't supposed to. I didn’t see any different coloration so If it broke then it didn’t cause any internal bleeding which is good. “It looks like your leg is hurt.”

“How badly?” she asked

“Bad enough that your not gonna be walking on it” I put my arms under her and slowly put her into a fireman's carry. “So…I'm going to have to carry you”

She started to protest “Johnathan what are you talk-”

“No, I'm not leaving you, this time i'm the one whos not changing his mind” and I slowly but surely began to carry Majesty up the mountain. I don’t know how much she weighed, but all I know is that between her and my gear, im going to be sore in the morning. Unfortunately I had to leave her gear where she fell. “How much farther to canterlot? Because I don’t mean to sound rude, but your not exactly the lightest individual in the world”

“I'm going to overlook that comment as your currently carrying me, and I would say that at this rate, we should be there in a half hour.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic” I replied

--

It took longer than a half hour. As my watch hit 12 noon, I walked into the trainstation on the edge of Canterlot. I slowly set Majesty down as ponies ran away from me, but as ponies ran, a set of 13 guards ran into the station. I looked up to them and yelled “Hey, I need a medic here! She’s got a hurt leg!” they responded by surrounding me and lowering spears, “Shitbucket.” I responded to this action by laying down to cover Majesty and bringing my rifle to bear “Drop your weapons or I will shoot!” I shouted.

The guard in the purple armor stepped forward and brought two swords to bear with his magic “Step away from her you monster!”

I focused my rifle to him “Never bring a knife to a gunfight. Now take your men and tell them to back the fuck off. I’m not leaving her until she’s safe.”

He scoffed “Safe? Yeah right, you’re the one who hurt her, just so she wouldn’t run right?”

I flicked the safety off “This is your last warning, back off or I shoot.”

I heard the voice of a woman behind me, more specifically, the voice of Celestia. “That won't be required.” I looked to where Majesty was laying behind me, only to see Princess Celestia herself standing there behind me, in perfect health. And if i had any doubts, i looked at her and i saw the wooden rose that I had carved sitting in the same position between her ear, like it was with majesty. I shook myself from my shock and I stood up and put my gun back on safe before bowing.

Celestia smiled at me and motioned for me to rise. She was actually a little taller than I thought, about six feet and a half feet, maybe eight feet tall with her horn. Just like the image I saw of her earlier, her mane and tail were a mix of green, blue, and pink, and it was billowing like it was in the wind. Her eyes were a beautiful shade of pink and her cutie mark was one of the sun, and her smile, oh I could just lose myself in it. She spoke in that kind and motherly voice that I had heard earlier, a voice that made even my fear of messing up begin to crumble. I shook my head a bit, I need to stay focused, I need to keep my heart quiet before it gets hurt again or makes me do something dumber than usual.

I Just stood there with a look of disbelief on my face as all the guards saluted the princess. “Where…Wheres Majesty?”

Celestia smiled “Im sorry that you had to find out this way Johnathan. I was planning on telling you eventually, but circumstances required me to step in. But I am very grateful that you stepped in to protect me.”

“And what of your leg?” I asked

Celestia's ears flattened against her head, “Unfortunately, that was also a lie.”

I sighed and lowered my own head, knowing that I had earlier told the princess some shit that would probably hurt my chances at good relations with her, then again who would want to be friends with me anyway right? “Of course it was…may I ask why?”

“Yes you may, but perhaps we could continue this discussion in the castle?” Celestia then looked to the guards “Gentlemen, I thank you for your swift action, but as you can see, I am in no danger. However I am disappointed that you were all so quick to judge my guest.”

The captain tilted his head in confusion “Your highness, he looks more like a hostile militant than a royal guest.”

Celestia walked up beside me and all I could do was keep my facing down, “I understand that Captain Armor, however, as my sister most likely informed you, I was gone the last day and a half because I was escorting a guest to canterlot did she not?”

“Yes she did your highness, however she did not elaborate beyond that, I apologize for my rash actions and the actions of my squad.”

“Your apology is accepted captain, but is is really Johnathan that you should apologize to.”

I my head snapped up to Celestia then to the captain at the mention of my name. He began to step forward, but I stopped him “Hey, its ok man, you were just doing your job.”

Oddly enough he smiled at me and saluted me before turning to his own men and shouting, “Escort Formation!” As he did, the guards formed lines behind and on the sides of me and Celestia, with Shining just in front of us. “Forward March!” and with that we began to walk to the castle.

It wasn’t long before Shining wanted to start a conversation with me, “So, you military?”

It took me a second to formulate my answer, I figured I mind as well be honest “Not really, but I've still had some training of sorts.”

The captain smiled “Well I guess that explains a few things.”

“What kind of things?” I asked

Shining answered, “Your clothes, your actions, and the fact that your carrying whatever those things hanging from your side and attached to your hip, which I can assume are weapons based off of how you hold them.”

I smiled “That is correct, but I have one question, why all the fuss for just me?”

Shining the captain looked to Celestia who just nodded, “Well some of it is because of what happened at the station, but the princesses thought that it would be best for us to escort you to the palace and to make sure none of the local aristocracy decides to do something stupid, and also because the princess should have a guardspony with her at all times.”

“VIP protection.” I replied

The captain nodded, “Exactly…..so how extensive is your training?”

“Eight years.” I replied which caused the captain to whip around to look at me and Celestia who only nodded in agreement certifying that what I said was true

He turned back around and I heard him mutter under his breath, “Eight years…damn.”
He didn’t say much to me after that, but I as I began to focus more on the city, I realized that it was a good idea to have the escort. I mean the city itself was massive. Some of the buildings looked almost alike, but don’t get me wrong, the architecture was amazing, and the view, holy shit the view. You could see for mile and miles. But unfortunately, as we got closer to the castle, the local ponies weren’t so friendly. Most of them looked at me like I was some monster or prisoner being led by the guards to the dungeon. Some of them looked at me with looks of pure disgust, but one of the first things you learn after being diagnosed with Tourette’s is the ability to not give a fuck about what people think of you.

After about 30 minutes, we came to the main castle gate, and my worry pushed itself to the forefront of my thoughts, “This is it.” it kept saying “This is the moment that decides your future, are you going to fuck it up like usual? Or by some miracle is the princess going to let you stay?” I mean she said she would when she was majesty…but still, I’m me, and after everything I told her…well I won't be surprised if I end up in the dungeon.

The main gate was a drawbridge over a river that fed a waterfall, that was designed to go up to cover a massive set of double doors (Ok, when I find the guy who designed these places I’m going to smack the shit out of him, I can see the need for the large door for defense purposes, but you couldn’t have made it a normal one instead of one that’s a tactical nightmare). Though the main gate was the opening to the main hall, it was a large open area with a set of stairs the lead up and to the left or up and to the right, along with passageways that lead left or right, our escort led us up the stairs and to the left down a hallway with stone or granite support pillars on both sides and large windows every fifteen or so feet. At the end of the massive hallway was a large set of (you guessed it) double doors. They had the markings of a heart, a sun, a moon, and some stars on them. Positioned at each side of the doors was a guard, who opened the doors for us, and on the other side of the doors was the throne room. We stopped in front of the doors and my escort, with the exception of Shining and Twilight broke off and returned to their normal duties. The two massive doors swung open to reveal the throne room. It was about 200 feet long, by 100 feet wide and had pillars and large windows on both sides. Only the windows were glass paintings of…Twilight and her friends!? (OK, definitely going to ask the princess about that.) and at the end of the room, was a set of thrones, one blue, and one yellow with….. Holy shit were those waterfalls on the side of them? As we continued into the room and I saw it in more detail I realized that in fact, they were little waterfalls. While I was standing there surveying my surroundings, Celestia motioned for the guards, including the captain, to step outside the throne room as she went and sat in her own throne before looking down to me “So what do you think of my home?”

“It's very nice, however tactically speaking, im not much of a fan of the double doors.”

She chuckled “I see, now I know you must want some answers.”

“Yes, why all the Deception?”

She sighed “Well I needed to know if you were a threat or not.”

“Ah, that would make some sense”

“I'm sorry if it has hurt you in anyway, but I do hope that you know that my offers of friendship and a place here in the castle were sincere”

I sighed, “Im not hurt by it, I realize that you are a princess and that i'm something that this world has never seen before. It's only natural to make sure that I wont pose a threat to your land………and thank you for those offers, if it's still alright with you, I would still be honored to accept them.”

Celestia again smiled at me. God, its beautiful…SHE'S beautiful, I could just- No, she deserves better, and I need to focus

“Thank you John, and I do thank you for being honest with me on our hike up, I have heard quite a bit about you from my student, Twilight sparkle, but it was nice to get to know you, and to see what you hide under your mask.”

“My mask?”

“Yes, the persona that you work so hard to keep up at all times, the one that you kept on for twilight and her friends, but what I find odd was that you took it off for me.”

“Because I felt comfortable around you…er Majesty…er you”

Celestia looked at me and smiled “And do you still feel comfortable around me”

“To be honest, right now, Im scared.”

I saw her ears flatten against her head again “Why?”

“Because I'm in a new world that seems to be run by ponies, because you’re the princess…and I’m me…...and because of my past.”

“Ah, I see. Now this make sense.”

“What does?” I asked

Celestia smiled, I think because she found a chink in my depressions armor, and I think she was right. “Johnathan, I don’t care about your shortcomings. You need to let the venomous words of your peers go, they cant hurt you in this world, and they cant make me change my mind on wanting to be your friend.”

As she spoke those words, I felt this strange feeling in my heart again. I was going to try to suppress it, but I knew that she was right. My past can't hurt me as it used to. The only thing that can hurt me here is me. if I kept repressing and isolating myself then I’ll be wasting this new chance. But the depressed part of me was right, my nature is a violent one, one that could ruin this peaceful world. “I…I guess you're right”

Celestia chuckled “Why of course I am, I’m the princess.”

“Ah yes, because you were obviously right when you tried to start that fire.” I countered, and oddly enough she began to laugh, hard. Eventually I started to laugh to. It felt good to laugh with someone instead of just laughing alone, but I was stopped when I hear Celestia snort

I stopped and looked up to the princess who was now blushing heavily and I was doing my best to stifel my laugh.

“I'm sorry about that Johnathan, that was very unprofessional of me”

“No no no, its ok, everyone gets to make some mistakes…and that was kinda funny…and you laugh is pretty uplifting” I replied

“As is yours Johnathan” she replied

I smiled “Please, call me John”

Celestia smiled back “I will John, and please, feel free to call me Celestia. I don’t feel the need for honorifics amongst friends”

“Thanks…to be honest I’m not much for formal things either... sorry”

Celestia got up from her throne and started to walk towards me, “Oh there's no need to be sorry dear, I too often grow tired of all the formalities of my job, but unfortunately they are required…..but on the hike up I was able to relax and just be a mare for a few days…it was nice, and for that I thank you.”

“I….I don’t know what to say, usually most women hate me.”

“Why is that? You’re a nice person, and you’re a courageous one too.”

“I'm not courageous, and women hate me because of my physical appearance and my aforementioned Tourette’s.”

“Well I don’t hate you for it, I actually find it quite inspiring that you’ve managed to push past your disorder, fear, and worry to interact with me, and carrying a pony that you barely know up a mountain is pretty courageous.”

As Celestia drew closer, and as she drew nearer, my worried grew, and I took a half step back, but as she drew closer, her presence and her voice began to have more power over my fear. I was able to look into her eyes, god they were beautiful, just like her. I could just sit there for hours and lose myself in her beauty. But as she drew closer, I began to stare deeper into her eyes, and for a second, I thought I saw something that I was familiar with in her eyes…I think she was wearing a mask as well, because in those magenta eyes, I saw a glimpse of loneliness, sorrow, and loss.

All I could respond with was “I know.”

My response caused her to step back a bit, and we just stood there looking into each others eyes for a few seconds, but after that, Celestia broke the silence “Perhaps I should answer some more of the questions that you have for me?”

“Yeah” I replied, “Well for starters, how did I get here?”

She smiled at my question before she answered, “Ah, I see you wish to be direct. Unfortunately, your guess is as good as mine, but according to Twilight, you said you woke up in front of the tree of harmony, so I am willing to bet that the elements of harmony may have played a part in your being here.”

“Elements of what now?” I asked

“The elements of harmony, they are honesty, kindness, generosity, loyalty, laughter, and magic.” She gestured to the glass paintings of all around me “They have been used by me and my sister, but they now belong to Twilight and her friends”

“Uhh. Okay. Uh. I really don’t have much to say about that. Or how to react really, especially considering the last 48 hours.”

“I understand, this world is still new to you, and my actions probably have not helped.”

“Well you're right about the new world, thing, And as for what you did, it's water under the bridge, but I think at the moment I should focus on more pressing concerns.”

“And what would those be?” Celestia asked

“At the moment, its finding a job and my own place to stay. And I know that this may seem kind of fast, but I was wondering if maybe you had a place for me to crash, and maybe a job opening in the Royal Guard? As you can see from my clothes and my gear, and from our earlier talks, I have some experience and I’m knowledgeable in tactics. But if I have to wait then I understand, I know you would probably want to make sure that I am not a threat to your people-err-ponies, damn.” I looked down for a second. Of course, I would make that mistake, you’d think that after maybe 48 hours of hearing it spoken one-way I’d begin to do it more, but no, I had to fuck it up, and in front of a princess no less

Celestia looked me up and down for a few moments while deciding on her answer. “Well I will be meeting with Princess Luna, Princess Cadence, and Prince Shining Armor later today, so I…or we, shall see….in fact, let me call the captain in now to get his answer.” Celestia walked past me and to the door, before walking back to her her throne a minute later as the captain walked up to my side. She then looked over to Shining as she spoke “Given what I’ve seen from you, I am willing to allow you to join the Royal Guard, that is of course if the captain wishes to have another soldier join the ranks.”

Shining stepped forward “Your highness I was about to ask you that myself, I believe that Johnathan would make an excellent addition to the Guard.”

I was in shock at what he said…he barely knew me …no, I need to shut my mind up, this is going better than I thought it would. I’m being handed an ex Machina here and I’m taking it. I just kept my mouth shut and waited until I was spoken to.

Celestia looked at shining, and then walked up to me. It took every single fiber of my being to avoid twitching or making any kind of verbal tic. He cannot know what I have, otherwise it’ll be all over.

She smiled at me as she spoke, “Very well then, unfortunately I must cut this session short as I do have other royal duties that I must attend to, however, John, perhaps we could continue this discussion over dinner?”

I just looked at her confused “Wha-wait what?” I was shocked that she’d want to see me anymore- no, I needed to get my heart in check, this was most likely going to be just a meal with her and the guards or something so she can ask me more questions when I’m comfortable, I mean she’s gotta know I’m nervous. There’s no way this is going to be a date.

She giggled, “I would like to have you stay here in the castle for dinner with me tonight, I’ve had a room made ready for you in the tower, the captain will show you to it and we shall meet for dinner here tonight, and I do owe you in a way for carrying me up the mountain…and I want to try to make it up to you for deceiving you.”

I stood there dumbstruck “I….I…” my heart began to race, what do I do, what do I do? No, I needed to stop, take a breath, and relax, she's your friend, and shes been kind enough to offer you a home and a job.I smiled “sounds like a plan your highness” and with that I bowed and left the throne room. I couldn’t believe it, I’d made it through the meeting without a single tic, I just needed to keep calm now, she wanted to meet me again, not for a date, but it was better than nothing, however out of the corner of my eye, I saw another small flash of pink, it was probably just the light from one of the stained-glass windows.

Shining again took the lead as we walked through the castle up to the tower, and as we got there we walked by two double doors on opposite ends of the hallway, one had Celestias Cutie mark on it, and the other had a crescent moon cutie mark. We stopped in front of another set of double doors across from a set with a crystal heart mark on them. He opened the doors and inside was a rather large bedroom with a bed on one side of the room, with a fireplace and what looked to be a smaller bed next to it on the other. And in the middle, there was a set of glass double doors that opened up to a balcony with an even better view than the one from the train, and next to the doors was a stocked bookshelf. And on the balcony, there was a small table and a few chairs. Next to the bed was the door which led into a full-sized bathroom, with a sink, toilet, bathtub/shower and a mirror. “Here we are.” he said, as he walked in and motioned for me to follow.

“Wow, nice place they got here” I said as I went and set my stuff down next to the small bed next to the fireplace “So who’s my roommate?” I asked

Shining answered “No pony. This room is yours.”

I looked at him like he was crazy “Your shitting me.”

Shining shook his head “Nope, I’m afraid not.”

“Well then...” I replied. I walked further into the room and dropped my stuff down as he turned to leave. “Oh, and before you go, I want to thank you for giving the princess your recommendation.”

He smiled “It’s the least I could do. After what I saw at the train station this afternoon, how you defended the princess even though you hardly knew her, I definitely think you’re the pony-er- man for the job. Plus, I saw how you were looking at Celestia, and I think maybe I’ll ask for you to be placed as her personal guard.” He chuckled “Just watch out for my wife, she’s the princess of love.” and with that he walked out.

“Wait what?” I turned around to face him, but he had already left…. And with that, I was on my own. Since I had time to kill, I started to disassemble my rifle and clean it, and that ate up about a half hour of my time. Looking at my watch I figured I had about 4 hours before my date with Celestia, so I decided to pick up one of the books from the shelf, more specifically, The History of Equestria. I figured that I should probably do my homework on this place considering that I may be here long term and I needed to do anything to keep myself from thinking, because once I did…... So, I sat down and read for about two hours, and the more I read, the more I began to understand some of the things Celestia told me, she and her sister held the elements at one time and used them to defeat a king of shadows, and what was apparently this world's version of Q from Star Trek, before something happened to Luna and she went crazy. It must have been hard on Celestia. I mean I’ve lost family, and I’ve held my friend as the cancer took him from me……. I know her pain… the only difference is that his death was probably my fault…I should have been there for him……. Anyway, with just over an hour left, I decided that it would be best for me to freshen up. I wanted to look nice for my meeting with the princess, and I needed to get my mind off my past. So, I went into the bathroom and decided to take a closer look at it. It was maybe 10 feet long and 15 feet wide. It had a toilet, as usual, and a very large tub I mean the thing mind as well have been a hot tub or a pool, but then again, this place was designed with ponies in mind, and not humans. I looked over the valve system for the tub, trying to determine how exactly I could get the water to go up to the showerhead. It took me a few minutes, but my dumbass finally figured it out. I turned on the water and it began to come out of the shower head, which oddly enough, was a section of the roof, but then again, designed for ponies not people. As the water warmed up, I took off my shirt, socks, and shoes, and as I did so I took a glance of myself in the mirror. I looked like shit, my beard was all scraggly, my eyes looked drained of life…you could tell I was depressed, but oddly enough, my physical appearance had improved, my body fat was all but non-existent now, I was in almost peak physical shape, hell I could maybe even stand a chance in a fight with a pony now. I shook my head breaking my trance from the mirror as I felt the warmth of the water from the shower calling to me. I stripped the rest of my clothes off, and stepped in, letting the warm water fall over me and calm my thoughts. I stayed in the shower for maybe 15 minutes before I turned off the water and stepped out. I dried myself off and again I come to the mirror. I didn’t know exactly what to feel at the face staring back at me, everything had been improved, but my demons still followed me into this world of peace and love. I straightened out my facial hair, and put a clean set of BDU’s on. I still had about a half hour to kill, so I went and sat out on my balcony. As I watched the world from my perch, my thoughts began to drift, but luckily my conscious was drifting as well, apparently, I had drifted slowly off to sleep. Sometime later, I was woken up by a knock on my door. So, I grabbed my pistol and walked to my door and called out “Who is it?”

The familiar soothing, motherly voice of Celestia responded “I’m here to give you some good news.”

I tucked my pistol back into its concealed holster, and shoved my depression back into its hole as I put on my metaphorical mask of a normal person, and I opened my door “Good evening Your Highness. It’s a pleasure to see you. What news brings you to my door?”

She giggled “Please John, call me Celestia, and I am here to inform you that you have been accepted into the Royal Guard as my personal guard, and to pick you up for our dinner.”

“Wait already? Isn’t there some kind of process that I have to go through?”

“Well yes.” she replied “But your case is a special one, you don’t have much of a background to check, but I did spend a day and a half with you, and you did carry me up the mountain, which tells me that your not here in this world to hurt my little ponies.” She put her hoof on my chest “...and It tells me that your heart is in the right place.” I smiled, doing whatever I could to hide that voice in my head that kept telling me that I’m going to mess it up, and that this wasn’t a date. I tried to listen to my heart, I tried to believe that I could make a relationship out of this, wait did I just say relationship? What am I thinking!?

“Well, that’s good news to hear, but I thought that I was supposed to escort the beautiful princess to dinner.”

She smiled and blushed a bit at that, I think that maybe I was able to keep my depression hidden, “Oh…Well I thought that since you were still new to this world that you may get lost, so I decided it would be better for me to escort you myself than to have a guard do it.”

“Oh, well then thank you your high…Celestia.” damn it, another fuck up.

She giggled again began to make her way to the dining hall and I followed close behind. I kept looking to Celestia and I stopped berating myself, tonight was for her, I need to set my own self aside and be happy. She was still somewhat of a stranger to me and me a stranger to her, but I felt like I needed to make sure she was happy, she was my friend after all. Not to mention that she had lost her own sister and spent a thousand years alone, I had no chance at filling that void or easing any pain if it was still there…. but maybe she could one day help me with mine. As we got to the dining hall, I noticed how it was surprisingly empty, and inside the dining hall where there was a table set for two. I walked up to it and pulled out her chair for her. Again, out of the corner of my eye there was a bit of pink, but I looked up and around me on the columns there were copious amounts of flowers so I let it go as Celestia sat down and spoke.

“Oh, a gentleman AND a charmer.” she said as she sat down

I chuckled as I thought about how I’m neither of those and I took a seat myself “Well I try.” as I looked out windows I noticed the sun was setting and that her horn was glowing. It was then that I remembered that her and her sister were both responsible for raising the sun and moon (yes you read that right). “The sunset looks almost as beautiful as you Celestia.” I commented, it was a shitty attempt at a complement, but I suck at relationships, so it was all I could do

She smiled and blushed even more “Oh, and a flatterer too.”

I was shocked, she LIKED my complement? My heart soared for a minute letting me think that I could stand a chance with a beautiful and kind mare like her before reality reeled it back in. all she did was giggle at my complement and return one. She’ll probably start asking me more about myself and I’ll end up ruining the night. A few minutes after we sat down, the chefs came carrying a few silver platters and set them on the table, breaking my focus from my mental harassment. They lifted the covers to reveal a spaghetti type dish with a nice looking read sauce and some basil, along with a nice red wine. As we started eating, the conversation from earlier today resurfaced “John, I have to ask, what is it like in your world?”

I sighed “Well my nation, the United States is currently fighting in another country to help take back said country from evil people...Basically the world is all falling apart and my county thinks that it can put it back together, even though we're still drowning in our own problems.”

“I see” she replied “so what did you used to do?”

“I was a computer engineer, I built and fixed computers. I was kinda good at it, and it meant that I spent a lot of time alone, but given my past I was more than happy to be alone, and then on my weekends, I’d gear up, go to the field, and sling some plastic.”

Celestia tilted her head in confusion “What is a computer?”

“An electronic machine used for calculations, operations…basically most of human society runs on computers now.”

“So you repaired these computers to keep your world running smoothly and a soldier?”

“Of sorts, but you give me too much credit, I never did anything that important, and I was never truly a soldier…it was really just pretend.” I replied.

“From what you’ve said of this airsoft, it sounds like its more than just pretend”

“It wasn’t the real thing, and thus I don’t deserve praise for it. I’m not a true soldier, just a depressed fake.”

Celestia shook her head “That doesn’t sound like an accurate description of the man who carried me up a mountain having just met me, and risked his life for me even though he didn’t know me.”

I sighed “You're too kind to me Celestia.”

“I'm just trying to cheer up a friend who desperately needs it.” she replied, I could have said something about how I saw how she needed to be cheered up, but I kept my mouth shut, I didn’t want to mess up or make her made by making it look like I was refusing help, so instead I decided to change the subject

“……so why did I get the job?” I asked, deciding that I wanted to get to that point.

She was a little shocked at my question “Well you were given the position due to your experience and because of the recommendation of the captain.”

“I mean the real reason, you don’t just go from jobless to being the princesses personal guard.”

She sighed and looked down “If you really must know, it is because my sister does not know what to make of you, and to be honest, I still don’t either. This position is so we can keep you close and keep an eye on you for the time being, at least until you have earned every ponies trust…..I’m sorry, and if it’s any consolation, know that you have my trust.”

I knew it, it was all just a test, but then again I also understood, they don’t know a lot about me or my intentions, they are being good leaders by ensuring that i'm not a threat. But as I looked over to Celestia I saw that she was looking away from me, so I reached out and put my hand on her shoulder “Don’t be sad, you’re doing the right thing, to be honest I’d probably do the same thing if I was in your position…. I understand…..and thank you, your friendship means more to me than you think.”

She looked up at me and smiled as she used her magic to pull me into her embrace “Thank you so much John.” she held me like that for almost a minute before she let me go “Thank you for understanding.” As she held me close part of me knew that that wasn’t the only thing I understood her on. Being that close to her, I again picked up on a faint inner pain. A pain similar to my own…Somehow, I think that she knew that I was talking about that fateful night. I think she knew my pain…because I knew hers.

“And thank you for doing this Celestia. Most women in my world laugh at me or insult me.”

“And why is that?” she asked

I took a second to plan what I wanted to do. She was such a kind and loving mare, I didn’t want to burden her with my pain…but I had already opened Pandora’s box, and I was left between a rock and a hard place…...so I told her the truth. “Because look at me, I’m ugly, I’m dirty, I mean you look beautiful and here I am in my combat uniform……and because of my mental disorder.”

“Oh?.....well then, John, I want you to look me in the eyes so I know that you'll understand what i'm about to say”

I stood up and walked over to her and did what she asked.

“John, I want you to understand this, what they think doesn’t matter, it’s what you think that matters, and I think that you look handsome if I do say so myself, and your clothes don’t make you look bad, they make you look rugged, and your disorder?” she moved her wing off to the side as if to throw something “Don’t let it define you, you are SO MUCH more than it.”

“R-really?”

“Yes.”

I lowered my head to the ground, knowing that I didn’t deserve her friendship or the kind words that she’s saying, “May I ask what makes you think that? Because when I look in the mirror, I don't see the man your describing, I see many bad things.”

She used her hoof to raise my chin up so I was looking straight into her eyes…her calm, loving, beautiful eyes. “Your flaws do not define you, when I look at you, I see a man who has survived many battles, some of them with others, and some of them with himself. I see a man who is capable of doing great things in this world, I see a man who is capable of overcoming any challenge…I see a man who reminds me of myself many years ago.”

“Just after nightmare moon.” I finished “I’ve felt that kind of pain before.”

“You’ve lost a loved one too?” she asked

“Yes, I may not have been the direct cause for his death, but I still feel the need to take the blame for it.” I replied

“As harsh as this sounds, the best thing to do is move on. The more you dwell on it, the more it will hurt you…I learned that the hard way.”

“Oh, I definitely know how that feels.” I replied.

She smiled and let me go “Now come, we still have dessert.” the chefs took away the diner plates, refilled the wine glasses, and brought out what looked to be some kind of cake.

“What kind is it?” I asked

“Oh, it’s a mandarin, mascarpone madness”

“Saywhatnow?”

She smiled again, oh god that smile, it makes her look even more beautiful “It’s a cake that Pinkie Pie made, it’s my personal favorite.”

“Ah, that would make sense.” I picked up my fork and took a bite of it, it was actually pretty good, all the flavors mixed in well, nothing really overwhelmed you.
We sat in silence for a bit before I looked to Celestia and asked “So if you know that I’m depressed like this, then why give me a job as your guard?”

“Well so that way you can start to see in you what I already see.”

I smiled “Thank you.”

About a half hour later, we had finished out small talk and we had both decided to call it a night. So, I offered her my arm “may I escort you back to your chambers m’lady?”

She put out her wing and wrapped it around me “I think I would enjoy that very much” so together we walked back up to the tower, reminiscing about the night. And eventually we came to the double doors with Celestia's mark on them “Well this is where I bid you goodnight John.”

“Goodnight Celestia, thank you for the dinner and for everything that you said.”

She smiled as she replied “Oh, it was nothing, I was merely telling the truth as I see it.”

That got me to smile, the night had gone well, for once in my life, I had done something right, and maybe I could ask her out on a real date sometime after my first paycheck comes in. I felt on top of the world, I had a chance to maybe turn this friendship into a relationship, but as I thought of our future together, I also thought of the past, more specifically how long she’s been around. “Uhhh Celestia, before I go, I just have one more small question for you.”

“Please, by all means, ask away.”

“Well I was doing some reading earlier today, and I noticed that you’re in most of the history books, so what I’m trying to ask is…are you immortal?”

The next four words that she said immediately crushed my heart into pieces and then tossed them into the wind, “Why yes I am.”

And just like that any hope I had of finding love with her was dashed. She was immortal, I wasn’t. eventually I was going to die, and I care too much to put her through that pain. She may never want more than friendship, but I still care too much for her to put her through that kind of sorrow, she already lost a loved one once, and so have I…that kind of pain doesn’t just go away. Maybe I needed to go away…no, she was a friend and I don’t want to hurt my my friend by just leaving, no I needed to push past this. I needed to accept that my path was a lonely one.

“Oh…I see…well good night Celestia.” and with that she closed her door and I walked down the hall to mine. Once I had gotten into my room and closed to the door, I got into my sleeping clothes and I laid out on the balcony. Of course, she’s immortal. Because it’s against the rules of the universe for me to eventually find love…why would I even think that I had a chance with her in the first place.

I think tomorrow I should tell them that they should find a new guard and that I’m going off to live in the woods somewhere, and I’ll ask her to send someone to check up on me once in a while and bury me when the time comes……. I…I’m going to go to sleep. It’s been a long day.