Noctilucent admired the architecture of Ponyville General Hospital as she trotted along its dirt road.

A beautiful example of timber frame construction, and while it was no grand palace, she appreciated its robust simplicity. Noctilucent had read that the centre of the building was once the three-story home of Ponyville's first doctor, back when the village was a mere cluster of farms. As the town grew, two 'T' shaped wings were added on either side, and what was once a home now served as the reception, offices, and living quarters for some of the staff.

If all went well, she would call it 'home' by nightfall.

The doctor's house was built from the ruins of a noblepony's great hall, the fire-scorched foundation stones dug up and reused. All of Ponyville was contained within the bounds of what had been Dame Willow Reed's domain.

She'd been a reasonably just lady if perhaps overly vain. A peacock amongst lesser fowl in the courts of the Castle of the Two Sisters. An overly florid manner of dress and speech with her lips always ready to snipe, jest, and spread innuendo. Her witty ways charmed all who heard her giggling voice.

Even the Sisters were not been immune to her merry mockery.

Princess Luna enjoyed Dame Reed's company but the mare's japes had come to a bloody end when Nightmare Moon tore her sun-loving body asunder and pierced her head with a spike.

Dipped in tar, the trophy had been displayed just there by the hospital's entrance.

Noctilucent's trot slowed and her nose wrinkled as she remembered the disgusting stench of blood and ruptured guts, of burning wood, hair, and flesh.

Forces loyal to the Night destroyed many noble domains during the days-long Eclipse. Committing atrocities to spur her sister's besieged forces to come out and do battle. They butchered Dame Reed's herd-wives, their husband and their offspring — indeed all the retainers, serfs, and livestock.

Nopony was spared.

The ground 'neath Ponyville was sown with bones and soaked in blood.

A sudden burst of loud bird song jolted Noctilucent out of her dark memories and her body shuddered as the tension in her muscles suddenly relaxed.

She was standing in grass by the hospital's wide sign-board, on which the bird perched while singing his little heart out. Noctilucent smiled at the colourful little bundle of feathers and wiped at her damp eyes with a fetlock. Though her heart ached, gazing at the hospital with its familiar style of architecture helped soothe her nerves. It did not jar her the way the brick, concrete, steel, and glass monstrosities in Manehattan had when she'd toured Equestria with her sister. She loved the rural medieval tone to everything in Ponyville, from the buildings to the ponies — it felt a touch less alien even as it stirred painful memories.

She stepped back from the large signboard and noticed the heraldic symbol painted on it.

Argent, un roundel Sanguine, contenant une croix Argent entre quatre coeurs Rose. A fitting emblem for a hospital. A bloody wound, mended with bandages and care.

She sighed and then snorted at her wandering mind.

She wasn't here to reminisce. From her bulging saddlebags she pulled out a folder of paperwork and tried to settle herself into the task ahead by re-reading it. She'd ordered the sheaf of documents prepared, in secret of course, by trustworthy ponies in the newly re-founded Night Court. Another blessing from her thoughtful sister; to find a ready court of aides and servants awaiting her return. Several members were even fluent in Old Canterlot or 'Courtly Speech' as Luna would name it.

After a quick read through the high points, Noctilucent tucked the paperwork away and took a deep, shaky breath. Held it. Exhaled. Luna had helped found and defend this realm for many centuries, led fierce armies into battle, crushed mighty foes beneath her own hooves, she would not be unmared by memories or fear of falling on her snoot during her first day in this new role!

Strong and passionate once more she trotted to the front doors and suddenly shied aside as a truly massive pea-green earth pony stallion exited the hospital. He opened both doors, ducking his head as he seemed to squeeze through. Both of his hind legs were tightly wrapped in white bandages from hock to pastern though that didn't stop him from politely holding one of the doors open.

"We, I-I mean, th-thank you, g-good gentlecolt," she stammered as she bowed her head down low and blinked up at him through her bangs.

Noctilucent paused in the doorway, blinking as she waited her eyes adjust to the dim interior. Most of the curtains were drawn, turning the intense brightness of the sunny day into warm orange marmalade. Large ceiling fans spun lazily over two rows of benches where a hoofful of ponies sat or reclined. The artificial breeze smelled of pine-scented floor cleanser and antiseptic, and very faintly of the sour odour of sickness. Her nose itched a little as she trotted past the benches to the reception desk. One of the waiting ponies sneezed and pressed a hoofkerchief to her muzzle, several read tatty magazine, a couple chatted quietly, and one mare appeared to be asleep. None paid Noctilucent even the slightest bit of attention. Excellent.

At the desk Noctilucent quietly said, "H-hello?"

The nurse sitting behind it was an earth pony mare with an orchid purple coat. Her white and purple striped mane was bound up in a large bun and she wore a white nurse's cap. She glanced up at Noctilucent and muttered, "Just a moment, prease," before resuming making notes in a patient's file with a pencil held between her white teeth.

Noctilucent hummed to herself quietly and felt a touch nervous as she waited. A great deal rode on this first interaction with the hospital's staff. Her ears rotated and twitched to the sound of muted conversation, clattering pans, and hoofsteps which echoed slightly down the corridors on either side of the waiting hall.

The pencil clattered on the desktop and the receptionist closed the folder she'd been writing in. She placed it on a short pile of paperwork and asked, "Okay, what can I do for you, dear? There's an hour wait for trot-ins and visiting hours are until four P.M."

Noctilucent's nervous smile flickered a couple of times before settling in place. "We, umm, I, I mean 'I'. I am here for a 'work placement'?"

The nurse smiled warmly and said, "Oh, you're interning with us? It's nice to meet you, I'm Head Nurse Sweetheart. Let's get you checked in, shall we? Do you have the transfer paperwork?"

Noctilucent nodded and brushed her mane out of her eyes. She magicked open one of her saddle bags and extracted the folder of paperwork she'd been reviewing outside. She levitated it onto the desk and nibbled her lower lip as Sweetheart quickly flipped through the forged documents.

The palace staff assured her that the paperwork was solid and even a legal statement of her abilities as a therapist though the where and when she acquired her skills were a bald lie. Certainly, her understanding of what drove pony behaviour was as applicable today as it had been for the last few millennia and she spent weeks cramming recent theory into her head. Doing with raw alicorn intelligence and many, many mugs of coffee that which would take a lesser pony years to achieve.

"Oh, my! A letter of recommendation from Celestia's own hoof?" Nurse Sweetheart stared in amazement at Noctilucent and said, "We can certainly use the talents of a fine young lady such as yourself."

Noctilucent smiled wanly and hoped she had not overdone it.

Sneaking into her sister's room and filching some of her personal stationery had been very clever and daring, but also left her feeling a touch wicked. Perhaps she should have tarried and met with her older sister, indeed she almost did but at the last moment her shame made her flee. She was adept at forging her sister's signature from centuries of co-rule and hoped that few would be able to spot the small differences between their personal seals.

Nurse Sweetheart waved another white-capped nurse over. "Nurse Pressor!"

She was a cool blue pegasus mare with a short cropped white mane and tail, and a cutie mark of three wooden tongue depressors arranged in a six-pointed star. Sweetheart handed her the folder of Noctilucent's papers and she tucked under one of her wings.

"Please take Councillor Trainee Noctilucent to the dormitory and help her to get settled before you file this. Then show her to the therapy offices and introduce her to Dr. Cake."

"Sure thing!" Nurse Pressor chirped.

A grey earth mare entered the hospital with a limping and sobbing colt. Noctilucent stepped away from reception and smiled at the poor little fellow though he barely seemed to notice her as he clung to his mother's side. Glancing around, she saw the pegasus was walking away towards a wide stairway going up to the second floor. Her quick trot to catch up was slightly unsteady because of her unfamiliar cloven hooves.

Pressor stopped at the foot of a staircase, held out a hoof to her and cheerfully said, "Hiiiii! I'm Tongue Pressor."

Gently tapping her hoof claws against Tongue Pressor's single-toed hoof, Noctilucent was jarred as the nurse abruptly locked hocks with her and rapidly pumped her leg in a very energetic hoofshake.

"Please to meet ya, Noctilucent! Please to meet ya! I'm new here too, well, I've been here a week, but I think that still counts as new, don't you?" The pegasi bubbled and chuckled like a stream falling off of a cliff. "Come on! Come on! I'll show ya the dorm. It's pretty small — 'quaint' I think ya snooticorns'd call it. There are a few beds free so ya can pick where ya wanna sleep. Don't sleep next to me though, I snore like ya wouldn't believe." The little motor mouth practically flew up the stairs while she babbled.

"Nurse Tongue Pressor! No galloping in the hospital!" The receptionist yelled as Noctilucent began a more sedate trot up the stairs.

Tongue Pressor leaned over the second-floor railing and called down, "Saaawreeee…."

Noctilucent followed her energetically bouncy blue rump as the little bird pony chattered non-stop the whole way. They met and passed a number of other hospital staff and patients in the hall, each receiving a friendly greeting and burst of upbeat chatter.

The modest-sized dorm room held three bunk beds and a random assortment of dressers and closets. Tongue Pressor pointed with her wings and one hind leg at two upper and one lower bunk and said, "These ones are free, but that one…" She pointed with a fore hoof at the right side, top bunk. "That one's mine." She lost her balance but righted herself with a quick flap of wings and clatter of hooves on the worn wooden floor.

Noctilucent nodded and trotted to the lower left bunk, the one with an unoccupied top level and by purest chance was the furthest away from Tongue Pressor's bunk. She shrugged off her heavy saddle bags onto the small bed and smiled up at Pressor through her bangs.

"Heh, good choice newbie. Get ya stuff sorted out." She flicked a wing tip at one of the dressers and said, "That one's free. I'll go file this and get ya a cap, alright?"

"V-very we…"

"Right!" And the little, blue tornado of feathers was gone.

Blinking, then shaking her head and smiling, Noctilucent began to unpack. She was most pleased! Accepted into her new position and already meeting and befriending new ponies. Ponies other than castle staff in her employ, her devoted sister, or bookish and subservient Twilight Sparkle. Certs these ponies would also scrape and bow to Princess Luna, but they saw lowly Noctilucent as a simple colleague. Somepony to work beside. Somepony to teach. Somepony to have a cordial relationship with as an equal.

Luna felt just a bit alive for the first time since her banishment.

"This appointment slip was for June third", said the receptionist nurse in a flat tone.

Clickspring hung his head and tried not to pout. He was used to being a disappointment, but he didn't like being publicly humiliated. He was a grown unicorn! Middle-aged even. But he felt like a foal being scolded by a teacher in front of class.

His glasses slipped on warm-yellow fur and they almost fell off the tip of his muzzle. He jerked his head up and shoved them back in place with a hoof claw. Rectangular brass frames with thick lenses sat heavily on the bridge of his muzzle and the even thicker magnification lenses were flipped upright to rest against his forehead.

"Ah heh, yeah. I've been, uh, busy. If it's a problem…" His ears perked up a little as he began to shuffle away from the reception desk.

He risked a glance at the front door through his steel-blue bangs. Yep, he had a clear path out of here. He had no end of work to do at the Mill and if it meant skipping 'detention' he should probably just-

Nurse Sweetheart smiled warmly but her eyes were flint as she gestured to the staircase. "Oh no, it's not a problem at all Mr. Clickspring. Tonight's session is in 2-B, right up those stairs. I'll just buzz ahead and tell Dr. Cake to expect you."

Clickspring wilted and grumbled sarcastically, "That's… great. Thank you very much."

He clip-clopped to the stairs with his tail dragging on the floor behind him. He dragged his hooves up the curved steps and wondered why he'd even bothered coming. Well… he knew why. He was utterly fed up with self-imposed isolation. And living with the damn Curse. Not that the hospital could do a damn thing to help him with that. But a 'group support session' meant other ponies just as mixed up as he was and he might fit in for a change.

According to the sign on the door, room 2-B doubled as a lounge for the hospital staff. Nervously poking his head through the open door Clickspring was unsurprised to see that he wasn't the first to arrive — what with being around fifteen minutes and three months late. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy sat on one of the two couches. The yellow mare's fur almost vanished against the dingy hospital-yellow fabric and he couldn't help smiling a little at the thought that the shy Element of Kindness was probably pleased with the camouflage. Though he'd never met Fluttershy, everypony in Equestria knew who the Element Bearers were! The biggest news to come out of Ponyville in years.

Why were two Elements at a counselling session for ponies with social and sexual issues?

Pinkie Pie bounced on the squeaky couch while energetically waving a hoof overhead — though that might be Fluttershy squeaking as she curled into a tighter ball.

"Hiiii, Clicky! Come on in and park your rump! We're still waiting for Dr. Cake and then we can get this par-tay star-ted!"

Clickspring's smile became a little forced as he walked into the room.

Actually, he had a good guess why Pinkie was here.

He'd turned her down at his welcoming party years ago and several times the next day. Since then her lewd propositions had tapered off to once every month or so. At first it was rather flattering, and he'd half-jokingly considered taking the perky party pony up on her offer — even if she was kind of a nut. A week after moving in he was shopping for material to renovate his fixer-upper home and had overheard a stallion in the next aisle. He'd boasted about spending the night with Pinkie. Another voice had put them down, saying that it was no great conquest since Pinkie would sleep with anypony. They'd shared a mean-spirited laugh and walked away. Sure enough, he'd found that the town rumour mongers were eager to wrap their wagging tongues around stories of her loose morals. She wasn't really attracted to him, just desperate to shag.

He wondered if these group sessions were helping her with that.

Hooking an elbow over the opposite couch's over-stuffed back, a large earth pony stallion twisted his head around to watch Clickspring as he ambled over to the sitting area. His fur was a patchwork of warm brown and cool grey that continued into his short unevenly striped mohawk. Clickspring didn't recognize him.

A long rectangular coffee table lay between the couches, its pale wood marred with dents and permanent cup rings from years of abuse. Chairs at either end of the table were unoccupied, but the doctor hadn't arrived yet and Clickspring didn't know which of the chairs he would take. Next to the other stallion was the safest bet.

The big lug jerked his fore leg back and scooted to the end of the couch as Clickspring hopped up and sat, wrapping his long tail around his hooves.

Clickspring turned his Pinkie-warding smile on him and nodded in what he hoped was a casual and friendly manner. The stallion tensely nodded back and hugged the couch's arm, leaning his imposing muscular bulk away from Clickspring's weedy frame.

He waved his toe claws at the other stallion and said, "I'm Clickspring. Pleased to meet you Mr…?"

"Ah'm, Dirt Nap." He had a deep, rumbling voice and what looked like a spade or shovel for a cutie mark.

He must be new in town.

Though for all Clickspring knew he'd been living here for years and they just hadn't crossed paths. Ponyville was a small town, but he didn't get out of the Mill much and had probably thrown the invite to this fellow's 'Welcome to Ponyville' party into the trash. The fearful reaction might be because of the bucked-up looking half-horn jutting very obviously from Clickspring's forehead. A wonky horn traditionally meant 'evil' and 'monster' and this backwater farming village had plenty of superstitious types.

Clickspring nodded politely to the mares while firmly shoving his glasses up his muzzle. "Hi, Pinkie. Hello, Miss Fluttershy. I don't believe we've met but of course I have heard of you."

He'd heard salty rumours about her as well. Sick fantasies about what she got up to with her animal friends in her isolated home at the edge of the forest. 'She needs a good stallion', the old biddies would say and shake their heads. Small towns and their small-minded gossip. He imagined there were a few rumours about him. But if Fluttershy was here — was there some truth to it?

Dr. Cake trotted briskly into the room while saying, "Hello, hello everypony! Sorry that we're a bit late!"

The chubby middle-aged earth pony's chin was wrapped in a curtain of curly brown hair speckled with grey, while his receding mane-line left a gap of orange fur between his small ears. His white doctor's jacket was unbuttoned and flapped against his barrel as he quickly trotted to the nearest chair.

The 'we' part of his apology was a less energetic and hesitated as she walked through the door.

She was gorgeous! Super-model beautiful. Clickspring forgot about being polite and just stared.

Long graceful legs with cute little fetlock tufts. A trim body with enough padding for sleek feminine curves. And her coat! Her fur was almost white and reminded him of the sea shell nacre he sometimes used as an inlay. It shimmered as she moved, even in the harsh light of the room's incandescent bulbs. Her light orange ruby-streaked mane was done up in the traditional nurses' bun. A few strands had escaped to frame her delicate face and the perfect spiral spire of her alabaster horn. It was big! Much larger than his and perfectly formed. Clickspring flushed with a mix of jealousy and lust. How would she look with her mane down? Would she drape it as camouflage over her glittering cyan eyes like Fluttershy? Probably not. Her expression was more curious than retiring and she had a bold and upright stance. Perched behind her horn was a white cap with the hospital's red circle, white cross, and four pink hearts printed on it. A clipboard, pen quill, and ink bottle floated by her side.

The doctor parked himself and gestured to the other chair. "Please close the door and have a seat, Noctilucent."

She even had a super-model name. What in Tartarus was she doing in Ponyville?

A touch from her cyan glowing magic swung the door closed. It latched as she trotted behind Clickspring's couch towards the last remaining chair. Her stride was careful and fluid, setting her long leonine tail swaying in a seductive sine wave behind her. Clickspring's neck hurt bringing to his conscious attention that he was craning his head right around to follow the beautiful mare's behind. His teeth clacked together painfully as he wrenched his head back around and snapped his mouth shut.

Pinkie was snickering at him with a hoof over her grinning muzzle. She winked broadly.

Oh bugger.

Clickspring flushed and shifted on the couch to lie belly down instead of sitting upright. He hoped no pony else had noticed his sheath's swelling and that Pinkie Pie wouldn't make her usual dramatic fuss about anything remotely interesting happening. Sweet stars! He half-feared she might break into a bouncy and lewd song.

Luckily, Pinkie's short attention span snapped, and she exclaimed, "Ooooo… Two doctors aaand Clicky? Good thing I brought a full box of cupcakes!" She whipped out a cardboard bakery box blazoned with Shugarcube Corner's bright logo and plopped it down in the middle of the coffee table.

Dr. Cake waved a hoof to catch Pinkie's attention. "Please, Miss Pie. Relax. We'll have our little chat first and then I would be delighted to enjoy one of your baked goods. But first we talk, yes?"

Pinkie Pie pouted and deflated a little but settled when Fluttershy patted her leg and whispered something that was too quiet for Clickspring to overhear.

"Before we get started, I'd like to introduce Counsellor Noctilucent. I'd like for her to sit in on our sessions to take notes and providing helpful advice to each of you. She is a top graduate of Canterlot's excellent College of Psychology and is performing her internship here at Ponyville General. My hope is that she will gain some valuable real-world experience at our little sessions, but…" He held up a hoof and said, "If this makes anypony uncomfortable we can go back to it just being me. Is this alright with everypony?"

Why was the doctor was looking right at him as he asked the question? He'd never attended one of these before so it wasn't like he had context to object, even if he had wanted to.

"No worries."

He just hoped his cursed genitals would behave themselves around the gorgeous Counsellor.

Fluttershy made an affirmative sounding mumble.

Pinkie Pie's exuberant answer was to lean toward the nurse, holding out a hoof. "Hi! I'm Pinkie, and I'm super-duper happy to have you join us! The more the merrier! I love, love, love to meet new ponies even if you're not new-new you're still new now. Right?" She paused to inhale and asked, "Are you free next Friday around sunset?"

Clickspring grimaced. Here comes the invite to a welcoming party followed by being propositioned. Not that he could blame Pinkie for hitting on such a beautiful pony.

Noctilucent made the classic mistake of accepting Pinkie's invitation to shake hooves — she really must be new in town. Her leg was snatched and enthusiastically pumped up and down like a water pump handle! Clickspring squeezed his lips together to hold back a bark of laughter but it snuck out of his nose as a slightly gross snerking noise.

Dr. Cake cleared his throat. "Mr. Nap? Is this alright with you?"

Dirt Nap said nothing, holding his hooves together and looking down at them rather than anywhere else.

"Mr. Nap?"

He twitched, looked up at the doctor and said, "Huh? Oh. Ah'm okay with it. Yep."

"Good! Very good. Thank you, everypony." Dr. Cake smiled and paused for a moment before saying, "Since we have so many new faces, perhaps it would be best if we made introductions all around, yes?" He ignored an eager pink hoof being waved in the air. "Could you get us started, Mr. Clickspring?"

"Awww!"

"Please don't pout, Miss. Pie. Everypony will have their turn but I would like to hear from our newest group members first." A warm encouraging smile was directed Clickspring's way. "Unless you would be more comfortable if somepony else went first?"

"No, it's fine." He'd come here to talk after all. Clickspring forced his ears to a polite angle and considered what to say. "Um, alright. I'm a horologist, that's a pony who likes or makes timepieces. Clocks and watches. I tinker with other types of geared mechanisms too. You may have seen my shop in the old water mill at the north end of town? I've lived here for, oh, getting on for three years now and I turned fifty last month."

Pinkie Pie scowled at him. She might never forgive him for passing on the 'Most Epic, Fantastic, Mother-Of-All Fiftieth Birthday Parties Ever Party' she'd wanted to throw.

He swallowed heavily and said, "You can call me Clicky if you want."

Dr. Cake asked him, "And why are you here today, Clicky?"

"Because Nurse Redheart is more badger than pony."

Pinkie Pie giggle-snorted and the joke got a few belly shaking chuckles from Dr. Cake.

"No, but seriously… I do have some, ah, relationship issues." He asked Dr. Cake, "How much detail I should go into?"

Dr. Cake smiled and said, "Whatever you're comfortable sharing, Clicky. We're all adults here. I have read Nurse Redheart's report on your meeting with her but you decide what you want to share with the group. Okay?"

"Alright." Tapping the skewed corkscrew spiral of his half-horn Clickspring said, "There's this obvious disability and sometimes ponies give me grief about it. My other problem is less obvious." He coughed and looked down at the cup ring stains on the coffee table. "You've probably heard what they say about unicorn stallions with long horns? That's true in my case. I have a broken horn, and a broken…" He trailed off and shrugged while grimacing.

Fluttershy made a nearly inaudible, "Oh my", as Noctilucent's pen scratched down a few notes.

Sensing that Clickspring was finished Dr. Cake said, "Mr. Nap, would you like to continue? Please remember you should only share what you are comfortable telling the group."

Dirt Nap glanced nervously around the room and cleared his throat. He said, "Errr… Well, mah pappy is Ponyville's new mortician. We moved here last winter from a minin' town down Dodge City way on account of the copper ran out years ago. Mah special talent is diggin'. Ah know it ain't much but ah'm apprenticin' with the Moon Creek construction company. Plenty of work here with how often things get knocked down."

Dirt Nap was quiet for a moment and the couch shivered under Clickspring's belly as the other stallion's tense muscles shook. He stared at his hooves and said, "Ah have a problem with, uh, mares." He glanced nervously at Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. "Ah'm mighty sorry, ladies. It ain't you, ah just… Ah cain't…"

Staring back down at his hooves, Dirt Nap breathed heavily for a few moments and Clickspring thought he'd finished.

"The, uh, the earth pony Festival is comin' up soon", Dirt Nap muttered. "Ah'll be of age by then so it'll be mah first one. Ah don't… Ah don't know what ah'm gonna do! I cain't, cain't even hardly talk to a mare without… Bein' like this. If'n ah even meet a mare who'd…."

He swallowed heavily and croaked, "Ah honestly don't have a clue whut t'do."

Dr. Cake said, "Thank you, Dirt Nap. Have you been reading the book I loaned you?"

Dirt Nap nodded.

"If you have any questions, please feel free to bring them up here or we can discuss them at our next private session. Fluttershy, could you please introduce yourself and tell us why you're here?"

Fluttershy eep'd and glanced up from behind her mane. She met Clickspring's curious gaze for a moment and quickly looked away while her cheeks and ears flushed a darker pink than her mane.

In a very quiet voice, hardly louder than the scratch of Noctilucent's pen, she said, "I… I'm Fluttershy and I l-love animals. Any who are hurt or sick or l-lonely can always come to my home and I'll do my very best to help make them well again."

"She's also the Element of Kindness and a super-duper amazing friend!"

"Pinkie," warned Dr. Cake, "Please let her finish."

Fluttershy smiled wanly and said, "I-It' okay. I'm finished."

The doctor urged, "Perhaps you could tell us why you're here?"

"Oh, um… Well…" She twisted a long strand of her hair around one of her hooves while staring down at the couch seat. "I… I have a difficult time going to Festivals too. A-and maybe… Umm…"

Despite straining his ears, Clickspring couldn't hear what she said aside from a high-pitched squeak at the end.

Dr. Cake smiled warmly and nodded. "Thank you, Fluttershy. All right, Pinkie. It's your turn now."

"Hi, everypony! My name is Pinkie Pie and my super-special thing is throwing parties that give everypony a reason to smile! Do I have the best job in Equestria or what?! I also work at Shugarcube Corner, baking cakes and cupcakes and candies and muffins and cupcakes and eclairs and other delicious treats. Buuut I have this problem called Maniacal-Depression. That's when you're super duper happy sometimes and not-super not-duper sad other times."

"Manic-Depression," said Dr. Cake. "Actually we refer to your condition as Bipolar Disorder these days."

Pinkie snickered. "Well, they got the 'bi' part right. I'm also here 'cause I wanna boink with everypony I meet. How is that crazy? No! I mean, how crazy is that?

"But I'm much, much, much better now thanks to Dr. Cake and everypony at the hospital so thank youuu! And over to you, Noctalulu!" Pinkie Pie dramatically waved both hooves at Noctilucent, like a magician showing off their assistant popping out of a formerly empty box.

The pen that Noctilucent was taking notes with scraped loudly on her clipboard and she looked up with startled eyes.

"Actually, that's a very good idea, Pinkie," said Dr. Cake. "We should introduce ourselves to the group as well. Would you mind going first, Counsellor?"

"V-very well…"

Noctilucent finished jotting down a note, set her clipboard aside and sat up a bit straighter. She appeared self confidant but her halting, stuttering voice was almost as quiet as Fluttershy's.

"W-well… Our, um, that is to say, my n-name is Noctilucent and I am only eighteen. This i-is my first day at the hospital. As Dr. Cake mentioned, I am performing an internship at this fine hospital so that we may… We may all learn from one another! Umm, b-before this I was studying in Canterlot and specialised in psychology and psychotherapy. We, ah, I… I mean… I th-thank you all for letting me join you. Your t-trust means a great deal to… To me."

Pinkie Pie bounced on the couch and chirped, "You're welcome!"

The other ponies smiled and nodded, except for Dirt Nap who wouldn't even look in her direction.

Noctilucent sighed, relaxing back into her chair and retrieving her clipboard and pen.

"Splendid! Thank you, Noctilucent. You know me as Dr. Cake, head of the psychotheraputic department here at Ponyville General, but I'm also the father of two beautiful foals and married to the most patient mare in Ponyville. Perhaps all of Equestria!" He chuckled. "If there were an Element of Patience, I'm certain she would have joined in helping save our newest princess. While I organize these group chats, I'm only here to help guide our discussion so that you may help one another with your social and sexual issues. I'm also available to chat privately."

Dr. Cake cleared his throat and said, "Well, as we have so many ladies present, perhaps you might be willing to give Mr. Nap advice on how he could approach a mare at the Festival? Or if any of you would like to share some encouraging experiences you've had during one? It may be helpful if he knows what to expect."

Pinkie leaped to her hind hooves and held a shiny round harmonic to her lips. She blew a trembling note and slowly sang in a clear and bright voice.

♬ Ohhh, Festival is here again ♬

Clickspring rolled his eyes, totally unsurprised that Pinkie was singing and had chosen that old chestnut to serenade them. He caught a quick flicker of cyan around Noctilucent's horn and an almost imperceptible shimmer along the walls. The room's acoustics closed in, isolating them.

♬ Don't be afraid
You'll fit right in ♬

He was impressed! Not by the spell, though it was more than he could manage, but by her quick reaction and concern for everypony in the hospital.

♬ Lift her tail
And slip it in
Festival is here again! ♬

♬ Nopony is respectable at the Festival
Everypony stands upon a common ground — or in the sky! ♬

Pinkie leaped over Fluttershy and Clickspring was surprised when the shy mare grinned a little and raised her voice to join Pinkie's. Her singing was a sweet melody over Pinkie's pompous oompah glee as they belted out the song.

♬ No matter what you like. It's there!
No matter who you want. Just dare! ♬

Dr. Cake's tenor joined next as Pinkie bounced past his chair.

♬ To ask them and they might say "Yes".
Your night, it could just be the best! ♬

With Pinkie waving encouraging hooves at him, Clickspring reluctantly joined in on the next chorus. His voice sounded a little creaky as it had been a long, long time since he'd participated in any of the town's spontaneous musical numbers.

♬ Festival is here again
Don't be afraid
You'll fit right in
Lift her tail
And slip it in
Festival is here again! ♬

Pinkie bounced around the room encouraging everypony to join in while belting out one of the 'story' parts of the song. Verses about a Mrs. Brown dealing with her unsatisfied frown by finding a young buck to put a spring in her step with a cock up her plot. Clickspring sang the lewd and familar lyrics and noticed that Dirt Nap and Noctilucent only joined in on the chorus. They must have led sheltered lives if they'd never sung this classic before.

After a few more rounds of amusingly pornographic tales, they sang the final chorus and Pinkie wrapped it up with a rapid-fire improvised solo.

♬ You'll have so much fun at the Festival! ♬

She stretched a fore leg around Dirt Nap's huge shoulders in a half-hug.

♬ Don't forget to bring your testicles! ♬

She bounded over the table and onto her seat.

♬ Not matter if you're sceptical!
You'll haaave the beeest niiight everrrrr! ♬

"Woo hoo!"

Clickspring had a tremendous grin plastered on his muzzle and he couldn't control his laughter. It was foalish. Daft. A very 'Pinkie' moment.

And exactly what he needed to wipe away the bleak despair that had driven him here.

Hooves tucked daintily together, Noctilucent lay curled on her side in her new bunk bed. Her notes from the group session drifted in the air with a dim glow from her horn making them barely legible to her Night Princess eyes.

Pressor's jagged snore showed that the light wasn't keeping her awake though how the other nurse sharing their quarters could sleep through it was a mystery to Noctilucent.

She licked her lips while crumpling the paper wrapper of her second cupcake and discarded it in the waste bin. A quick crumb-check verified that her blanket was clean. Pinkie Pie gave her two of them after Clickspring declined, saying that the dairy and shugar would make him ill. Poor fellow, no cupcake and a peeved pink pony to placate.

She shuffled the notes together, set them on her bedside table, let her horn dim, and lay back to think.

Dr. Cake expected her to write a profile for Dirt Nap and Clickspring, along with ideas on how to counsel each of them. She had read the full profiles for Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy and would use them as a style guide. The doctor's notes were spare, incisive, and showed surgical precision in his treatment. But his warmth and care for his patient shone in each carefully chosen word. It would be difficult to emulate.

Pinkie Pie seemed a harmless jester but until recently had been something of a terror. While her parties were indisputably, the most entertaining and well attended in Ponyville — perhaps all of Equestria — her personal life was less than festive. Both for the citizens and herself. There were several restraining orders against her though none involved foals with whom she was a professional party planner. No, it was the treats between adult thighs that Pinkie desired with wild abandon. She'd been the cause of much marital strife and faced a judge on more than one occasion, which eventually culminating in a suicide attempt and admission to medical treatment.

Counselling and a recent product of alchemical magic, a lithium-based pill, were effectively treating her disordered mind. Clickspring would likely have had a cupcake rammed down his throat by the former Pinkie Pie. Her voracious sexual appetites were cooled a little. Enough that she was no longer a danger to herself or others. Nopony should have their lust completely tamed and Festival was an appropriate stage upon which to flaunt her goodies.

Fluttershy was difficult to read as she was so physically and verbally undemonstrative. As different from her pink friend as ponily possible. Noctilucent noticed quick flashes, mere hints, of the strength lurking within her thick passive shell. She regularly worked with fearsome creatures that would even a princess would hesitate to approach. That Fluttershy was one of the Bearers was a very encouraging sign. Many times Luna had seen unstable and unhappy recruits grow into mighty and trustworthy warriors with the support and guidance of their peers.

The Elements of Harmony chose their bearers at just the right moment to not only save Luna but to aid the bearers in their own life struggles.

She would be surprised if either mare required psychological aid for much longer. So long as Pinkie Pie continued to take her medication.

Dirt Nap's problems seemed straightforward and less to do with a disturbed mind. He'd suffered intense anxiety and curiosity while Pinkie Pie and Dr. Cake shared tales of their Festival shenanigans. His expression had reminded Noctilucent of peace-loving ponies attending a public execution: fearful and disgusted, but unable to look away.

It was quite plain that he must be a virgin.

How doth a stallion reach his age and yet still be an innocent?

Noctilucent shook her head sadly and mused that Dirt Nap would have already attended a half-dozen Festivals and sired foals in pre-banishment times. The bone-deep magic of the Festival that lived within each pony had changed and now it wasn't until ponies reached what had been middle-age before they felt the Festival's call. Most curious. Perhaps she should ask Mistress Sparkle about this as somepony was sure to have researched and written about it.

His mother perished in labour and he had no siblings. There was almost nothing else of note in his patient file aside from a minor workplace injury and treatment for anxiety. Nothing to illuminate his fears about attending Festival aside from inexperience.

She hadn't yet read the other stallion's thicker file.

Clickspring seemed to be friendly and open when discussing himself though he used his disabilities and deprecating manner to push others away. She imagined he would have been perfectly happy at the session not speaking at all. No, not happy really. Content. He'd readily participated in Pinkie's song but became quite twitchy and uncomfortable during the discussion of Festival experiences, and passed on discussing his own encounters. A shame since another stallion's insight might have been helpful for the mare-shy Dirt Nap.

As with Dirt Nap; evident arousal and interest in sex but mixed with fear, sadness, and shame.

How this pair of stallions became so retiring eluded Noctilucent. Her first instinct was to find healthy herds to claim them and quickly show them their place as sires and guardians. Perhaps having a direct hoof in it herself! That Dirt Nap seemed a healthy buck, aside from his whinging, and her back hadn't been warmed in centuries. Unfortunately, that was not how Equestria worked anymore and she would be forced to find less direct and modern therapies for her charges.

She sneered and mused that the old way would be simpler and more enjoyable.

She could aid Dirt Nap this very night using her own particular magic to teach him some small measure of confidence. Giving tutorial wet dreams to ponies was one of the more amusing tasks she undertook in the past, a welcome change from manipulating nobles and chasing the wicked back into the light.

Or assassinating her sister.

Noctilucent pondered what dream she could try on Dirt Nap. It would need to come from her stockpile of dream templates, not crafted new. She did not have enough experience with what made the modern pony tick to engage in dream shaping from the raw. Not yet. But even an old dream may still be effective as some things surely never changed.

Young ponies always had and always would be nervous about their first time.

Noctilucent cast a muffling spell on her legs and slipped out of bed, the clattering of her hooves on the wooden floor magicked to silence. She cautiously opened the dorm's door, peeked both ways, and then headed down the hallway to the back stairs. She slipped into the cool night and trotted to the forest edge.

She walked in a circle, carefully tramping down the long grass, before settling down into a pony loaf, tucking her fore and hind legs under her barrel. She cast a simple detection spell which assured her that nothing dangerous lurked and nopony's eyes were upon her. She closed her eyes and relaxed. For a few minutes she basked in the silvery glow of the Moon, straining her senses to barely feel the cool flow of energy radiating from the celestial body. Any well-trained unicorn could touch its radiant power if they ventured out at night beneath Her full glory. Few would be able to store enough of that essence to cast Luna's most familiar spell, one not attempted in centuries.

Her horn glowed faintly and her spirit stepped over-

A day's hoof travel away Celestia dozed in a half-sleep. A soft rush of power, like a cool current, played across her skin and she knew that Luna had begun a dream walk. Feeling relieved and proud of her sister she snuggled down into her pillows with a soft nicker before slipping into a satisfied slumber.

-into the Hall of Dreams.

Like a bookmark, she found herself in the same location where she had last appeared. Here she stood tall as Princess Luna, bedecked with her full regalia and glowing with power. She pranced like a happy foal, grinning widely. It was easier than she'd anticipated and used less of the Moon's blessing than feared. Saving many days of sneaking out of the Golden Oak library, always wary of Ponyville's curious folk, to hoard the Moon's gift within her heart.

The dream realm missed her. That was the only explanation; it eased her path and must be eager for the touch of her hooves upon it once more. She still needed re-established a direct connection to the Moon, a task that would be easier to accomplish now that she'd come this far. With the Hall's assistance.

She gracefully trotted toward the future, passing doorways long fallen silent as their ponies passed away and went to whatever reward or punishment they deserved. Luna would need to do some tidying up but there was no need to rush in this time-strange place. After a few minutes she picked up the pace.

When she arrived at the door she sought, she flew down the hallway at break-neck speed, wingtips brushing the doors as they shot past in a blur. A pony could only stand so much boredom after all and it seemed a vast number of ponies had passed since her last dream walk.

Luna overshot and dropped to the floor, her silvery shoes striking a bright shower of sparks as she skidded to a halt.

She panted a little from exertion as she trotted back to the door, musing that this metaphorical manifestation of her dream guardianship sorely needed modernisation. A single long corridor may have served when Equestria's citizens numbered in the hundreds or thousands it was woefully inadequate now. Another task for Mistress Twilight to add to her ever-growing list of improvements to undertake once Luna's full powers returned.

The door into Dirt Nap's dreams looked like the lid of a coffin; rather morbid but perhaps suitable for the son of a mortician. Its form gave her a deeper insight into Dirt Nap's character. He sorely needed a push to flourish outside of his father's shadow and so the door could take on a new guise.

Luna's magic flung it open, and she stepped through, horn glowing as she readied the selected dream template.

She walked through a wispy grey fog of unshaped dream-stuff and close by the door she found Dirt Nap's dream. Peering into the large crystalline sphere she saw of a candle-lit wood-beamed room with white plaster lathe walls, distorted into curves by the dream's boundary. A typical and comfortingly familiar Ponyville interior. She pressed her face against the sphere's rubbery skin and stepped inside.

Dirt Nap lay on a bed in what Luna assumed to be his bedroom. The brown and grey patched earth stallion curled into a position that would be impossible, or at least quite difficult and painful, outside of a dream. Wet, slurping sounds and the scent of aroused stallion filled the air as he enthusiastically suckled his own engorged penis.

Luna didn't fully merge with the dream and her arrival caused no interruption. She frowned and shook her head, knowing couldn't smoothly transition from his self-pleasuring to the less urgent dream template of seduction that she held ready.

With an annoyed snort she discarded the template. Her horn went dark, and she stood for a few minutes watching him work his member.

Luna accepted such voyeurism as one aspect of her duty as the Guardian of pony dreams. She bore witness to the highest and lowest of ponykind's aspirations and urges. She had no shame that other pony's dreams sometimes made her nethers quiver, or that she oftentimes played a starring role in them. To penetrate a dream and find her own self in the throes of passion in the dreamer's embrace. Silly and narcistic but entertaining. Finding her chaste sister in such a lewd scenario only inspired laughter and pity for the poor fool dreaming of bedding her. At least Luna allowed herself a dalliance now and again.

Dirt Nap's amateurish display did nothing for her.

Perhaps if she avoided the complexity of a dream template and slipped a dream mare into his bed? Dreams were, after all, fluid things which often made little sense to the dreamer. It would not be subtle but worth a try.

She closed her eyes and sorted through the stock of 'sexy mare' templates she kept on hoof, but they were all quite out of date in fashion and attitude. No, dropping a mare who spoke Courtly Speech, clad in a medieval gown and surcoat, into the stallion's bed would merely cause confusion. Perhaps a trollop? She need not speak, only show off her wares. No, she wanted to use something subtle, not a medieval Pinkie Pie who would more-or-less rape the sensitive colt. Some stallions were into that but in this case… No. T'would do more harm than good. The classic 'princess in a tower'? Prettier and with a high randiness but again there came the language and culture issue. Who then?

She shuffled rapidly through dream mares, like so many cards in a deck. Culs, but she needed to update her dramatis personæ!

Yet another task for the damnable list.

The dream bubble quivered and she opened her eyes to see Dirt Nap having a very messy orgasm, slurping his lips off the flare of his penis and splattering his face, the bed, and the walls. Even the ceiling got painted by the ludicrous fountain of spunk. Had Luna merged with the dream she would be reaching for a towel as the dream crescendoed.

A final quiver and the dream bubble popped, leaving Luna standing alone in grey fog. Dirt Nap likely awakening in a sticky bed.

Luna sighed and trotted back to the Hall. This was not an auspicious return.

Author's Note

Sorry if this was a little dark for some folks... Nightmare Moon was truly a monster in this AU.

I wanted to get this out on Wednesday, as I'd like to try publishing two chapters a week, but there were many, many, many edits and re-workings required. I wish I'd paid more attention in English classes, but at least Cross Lament is willing to take the time to tear me a new one for all the silly mistakes I make.

Please let me know if you spot any mistakes.

P.S.: 'Shugar' is not a mistake. Everyone else is spelling it incorrectly.

v2 Edit: General stuff plus trying to make Pinkie & Fluttershy more... Just more. They were kind of blank ciphers in v1. Also the song. And having Clicky enjoy the session rather than being peevish about it all... gotta give him a reason to come back, after all.