"Ponyville City, a town clinging between Olympus and Tartarus, where it's human inhabitants are regularly threatened by the foulest of darkness that feeds on such negativity that it grows fetid and large, lodging in the tracts of troubled souls until it consumes them! It can go unnoticed, silent and deadly up until the foul stench all but chokes the senses and brings an imbalance! However there are those that wield a power beyond human comprehension! That can cut through the logs of darkness and send it straight back through the bowels of Tartarus! Two young women who are the most powerful of mages!

.... who were nothing more than lazy ass bitches who got kicked to this backwater city not twenty-four hours before, now under the care of the mighty and selfless Luna now assigned to guide these wretched souls on the right path-"

"Shut the hell up Luna! We were fucking there!" spat out Sunset, not in the best of moods as she levitated a couple of trunks behind her as the trio walked down the street. The surely twenty-two year old had her hands stuffed into her studded leather jacket, leather boots clicking on the sidewalk as they were on the last leg of their journey to their new abode.

"No need to get testy." responded Twilight, nose in a book as was per the usual while she levitated more than a couple of trunks behind her. She was a little shorter than Sunset, wearing a dark purple sweater vest, loafers, and a skirt that was more towards the knee compared to Sunset's shorter skirt with striped knee socks.

"Oh don't even acts as if you aren't pissed about this. Our magical abilities are top notch, we passed the trials to get into Olympus and become elevated beyond our mortality... and then Celestia fucking says we have to buy our way in with Harmony Bits. Such BULLSHIT!" griped Sunset, ripping her hands out of her pockets, balled into fists but not yet settling on a target to punch.

"Well... perhaps if you hadn't solicited the two guards five minutes before final judgement." said Twilight, shooting Sunset a sideways disapproving look as she flipped the page. "You knew indulging was going to make you late."

"Oooo, bitchy. Well maybe if you didn't act like an anti-social little shut in, she'd think you'd actually do something than lodge your fat ass into Olympus's library and never been seen for hundreds of years." Sunset sniped back.

"I do not have a fat ass." said Twilight, an edge appearing in her voice as her eyes narrowed.

"Please, all you're missing is beeping when you back up."

Snapping the book shut, Twilight turned the full power of her glare upon Sunset "Look, I know you're upset but don't take it out on me that Celestia seems to think we're both lacking something!"

"Fuck you!"

"Piss off!"

Just as they were about to come to blows, the third member with them turned back and gave a resounding whack to the backs of their heads. She was a fairly tall woman with a darker complexion, long flowing blue hair that was light the night sky... and for some reason dressed in the sacred priest robes of the Church of our Lady Celestia. Her eye was twitching as the two young women glared at her "Enough! Believe me when I say you two have it easy! So shut the Tartarus up and move your asses! The sooner we get to our new abode, the sooner we can settle in!" she said, adjusting her robes before levitating her bags once more. Thankfully for the woman's sanity, this seemed to cause the two teens in her charge to become silent, at least up until they turned the corner and she pointed out their new home.

"... we're living in a fucking tree?" deadpanned Shimmer, eying the admittedly large oak that looked to have a couple floors to it, even a tower or two if those big stray branches were any indication. And was that a bell in one of them? Opening the front doors, it looked as if the front entrance was made for some sort of church, a look up on the second floor would reveal a dining room, living room and the like, with a third floor having various empty rooms. Sunset immediately cut ahead of Twilight and brought her bags to one of the doors.

"What if I wanted that room?" asked Twilight, childishly pouting as she took her time to actually look behind other doors.

"Tough." retorted Sunset, shutting the door behind her and setting to work getting things how she liked it. Which began with pulling her bed out of one of the enchanted trunks she had with her.

Twilight would more or less begin in the same way, but upon opening her first trunk, a small anthropomorphic dragon popped out, gasping for air as he hung off the side. "Finally! Oh sweet we're here!" said the energetic young being, jumping out and bounding all around to look at everything.

With a small roll of her eyes and a slight smile, she reached out and placed a hand on top of the being's scaly head, slightly crushing his green mohawk as she halted his movements. "Sorry about that Spike. It's gonna take time to set up, why don't you go outside and play?"

"Alright! And maybe I'll see some hot ladies!" he cheered before running out. Sometimes Twilight worried that forcefully hatching him before his time had some... effects, but at least he was happy.

Outside Spike was happily jumping about and rolling around in the front lawn, playing a game of some sort that only made sense in his mind. Up until the sky suddenly became cloudy and a bolt of lightning struck the young dragon. He let out a puff of smoke, feeling something lodged in his throat. Luckily Luna suddenly appeared behind him and gave him a swift slap on the back, causing Spike to hack up a rolled up piece of paper. Picking it up and unrolling it, Luna glanced over the message before heading back inside with Spike following close behind her. Standing behind the pew, she gave a magical snap of the fingers, suddenly summoning Sunset and Twilight into the air in front of her... and causing them to land on Spike who was standing in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"The fuck do you want now?" said Sunset, as sour as ever while Twilight rolled off of Spike and gently helped him back up to his feet.

"We just got a clue from Olympus, trouble is afoot and it's time for your first assignment." said Luna, stretching out the piece of paper so that it was like a small screen, showing images of various people around Ponyville City having been sucked down into their toilets, clothes missing. "The clue is toilet, and from the looks of things some vile evil is assaulting people while they pop a squat, dragging them down as it strips them of all their clothing. Whatever poor soul has been possessed, no mercy can be shown when they take advantage of people in such a vulnerable moment! Now it is up to you two mages to cleanse this evil and return peace to porcelain thrones everywhere!"

After such a passionate speech from Luna, both Sunset and Twilight... were boredly looking towards her while Spike looked like he had gotten way too into the one pic of the lady on the toilet. A moment later and Twilight looked to Sunset "So... shouldn't we be going now?"

"... I guess." sighed Sunset, moving to stand on her feet "We'll take my car."

"You don't have a car. You sold it to pay for that expensive prostitute the night before we left Canterlot."

"Fleur? Yeah, she was pretty great. Then I guess I'll just get creative."

"Oh boy." sighed Twilight, getting onto her feet as well and following. Thankfully it didn't get too bad, Sunset simply sweet talked some big hunk of muscle out of his pick up truck after they dumped all of the apples out of it. They drove around, fairly recklessly as was Sunset's way, up until they came upon the mayor's house. The silver haired cougar was talking up the plumber she had called over, things getting fairly suggestive up until Sunset did an impressive slide into a perfect parallel park to the side walk before jumping out and delivering a side kick to the brown haired man's back.

"... so why'd you drop this guy?" asked Twilight, raising a brow as Sunset, slid her panties off, the heavenly garments turning into a gun that she pointed right at the guy's head.

"Duh, he's a plumber. This has got to be the fucker." said Sunset, crouching down over him and staring the poor guy down. "Alright... Caramel." she said after looking at his name tag. "You might look normal and cute, but say your prayers!" With a click of the trigger.... nothing happened. The magical bullets bounced off of the poor guys forehead like Sunset was flicking frozen peas at him. "Huh. Alright, so maybe he's not the guy."

"Please stop! I-I haven't done anything wrong!" pleaded the guy, no longer cross eyed and looking pleadingly up at her juuuuust as the light hit him in the right way.

"Mm, you're actually kind of hot." mused Sunset, smirking as she continued to eye him like a piece of man meat.

"Preaching to the vag sister." said Mayor Mare, smirking before asking "So if you're through with him, I still have some pipes for him to clean."

"Take a number bitch." said Sunset, standing up and hauling Caramel up to his feet "Here Twilight, I won't need these for awhile. I'll call you when I'm done." she said, flicking her panties over to Twilight, the bookish young woman catching them as she made a face as she caught them before watching Sunset and Caramel get in the guy's van and drive off to the nearest hotel.

"So aside from Sunset... "cleaning her pipes", you two pissed away the whole day and accomplished nothing." said Luna, rubbing her temples as they sat around the dinner table, Sunset nearly finished, Spike making a mess and Twilight once more reading her book. "You know, I'm fairly certain the reason my sister sent you two here was to prove yourselves worth of heaven. NOT TO CONTINUE CHASING ASS OR SPENDING ALL DAY READING." she said, staring pointedly at the two who continued to ignore her. "Come on! It's as if you two don't give a shit!"

"Nope." said Sunset, tossing her napkin onto her plate before standing up. "But I'm going to go take one." she said, leaving the table and heading up to the nearest bathroom.

"Oh sister grant me the patience..." muttered Luna, pulling her head from her hands before taking another bite of her meal.

"Mm, but we did find a nice sweet shop today. Two actually. One only had candy and the other baked goods. I wonder if the latter has any chocolate sponge rolls..." mused Twilight, having reached a good stopping point so that she could focus more on her dinner.

"Maybe. Go tomorrow." said Luna, resting her cheek against her palm now. There was a pause in conversation as there came a low moan... it sounded like the pipes.

".... alright. Can I have some money then?" asked Twilight, ignoring the sound and going back to her dinner.

"What happened to the allowance you were already given?" asked Luna, too annoyed to give much thought as the moaning and creaking of pipes continued.

"Books." Twilight said simply before they were interrupted from above by Sunset's shouting. Shaking her head, Twilight called back "Sunset! No one wants to talk to you while you're using the toilet, that's disgusting!" When it finally stopped, she went back to her meal... up until there came an explosion. She and Luna looked at each other before they bolted up the stairs... only to find the bathroom Sunset had gone into had it's door blown off the hinges as a large, gooey brown pile stepped out, sloshing through the water.

".... Sunset?" asked Twilight, vaguely recognizing the outline. Then the smell hit. The vomit filled her mouth and she spewed in one direction while Luna spewed in another.

"... not a fucking word." said Sunset, walking passed them as she headed to the other bathroom. "I'm showering. I'm burning my clothes and changing. Then we're killing this fucker!"

Having failed in his latest heist, apparently the being had decided to say 'fuck it' and take to the streets. From every sewer exploded out tons and tons of shit, filling the air of the neighborhood with the foulest stench. When people weren't puking their guts out were pointing in horror to the large, serpent like being that had risen, it's dark form appearing to be made out of shit, with what looked to be the start of a scarf made from various items of clothing to compliment it's shit mustache.

As people fled in terror the local guard came in, drawing their guns or firing up their magic as the lead guard shouted "Freeze shithead-!" Unfortunately it didn't get much farther than that, as a wave of the foul stench rolled over them, the local guard rendered completely useless as they started vomiting. "Holy... shit!" gagged a wall-eyed blonde woman, magically summoning her wings and flying out of the way just as the great shit serpent swung it's tail, taking out her entire force in a wave of fecal matter "Ohhhhh noooooo, what do we do?!" Then she jumped when she heard Luna clearing her throat behind her "Whoops! Sorry preacher... woman?" said Derpy, scratching the side of her head in slight confusion. "Um...?"

"I'm here to tell you're that you're staring into the brown eye of an evil spirit." Luna explained calmly even as the police woman gaped. "If I had to guess, the negative energy of a disgruntled plumber overwhelmed them, growing and creating the being you see before you by gathering to it all the crap in the city to create this form." said Luna, stepping back as another wave of stench rolled by, causing Derpy to upchuck all over the ground where Luna had once been standing.

"Ugh... I dun' think I can take this any more. I think I'm gonna hurl again." whined Derpy, looking pale as she glanced back up to the rampaging monster. "Do you got a prayer for us preacher lady?"

"Tch, let me tell you something I've learned during my time as a holy woman. Prayer don't do shit! Prayer can go to hell because god herself doesn't come down to solve your shitty problem! No, we got mages for that!" said Luna, making a grand gesture as Sunset and Twilight walked past her, the cops wondering what the chick who looked like she'd just scrubbed herself raw and the nerd girl who looked socially stunted could possibly do.

"Alright, let's cut the shit and get to business." said Sunset.

"That was fairly cheesy." commented Twilight. "Did you come up with that during your twentieth rinse and scrub?"

"Alright how about this, you shut the hell up and I'll give you some of my allowance. You can respond to that, deal?" countered Sunset.

"Deal." said Twilight, grinning as magical energy began to surround them.

Raising their hands up into the air, a shot of purple and gold magic pierced the guy, summoning down small beams that they reached out and grabbed onto. They each spun, holding on with one hand and legs as they flung their upper bodies back, their clothes seeming to disintegrate and disappear, robes of purple and red replacing them as they continued what had to be a choreographed number as the beams disappeared, the magic washing over their body and forming heavenly looking wings. Both of their mage robes was just short enough so that they could take off their respective garments, panties for Sunset and a stocking for Twilight as they recited the incantation Celestia had given them.

"Oh pitiful soul trapped in darkness. Oh evil spirit that feeds upon the negativity of those poor souls. May the power of these blessed garments, wielded by these lovely mages with great vengeance and furious anger! Cleansing your prey and bringing them harmony so that you may return from the dark pits of Tartarus! ... REPENT YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

With her panties changed once more into a powerful handgun, Sunset fired off a single round that pierced the mid-section of the shit serpent, with a pause before it vastly expanded and the wound broke it in half! Then Twilight flew in, her stocking changing to a katana before she sliced and diced it into many pieces! Causing enough damage as to completely break what was left of it's structural integrity, it's last dying words being "OH SHIT!" before it exploded! Fecal matter breaking apart, like dust in the wind going god knows where as in the middle of it all lied a single man, a plumber with a fabulous mustache whose name tag red 'Steven Magnet'. He looked up a moment, regretful, weak as he whimpered out "Never a dream for I to be a plumber. I... I wanted to be... A FABULOUS MUSTACHE MODEL!" he declared before passing out.

Everyone stared before giving a cheer that the monster had been defeated and for Sunset and Twilight's efforts, a single Harmony Bit "Cheap bastard." grumbled Sunset as Luna picked it up.

"Quit bitching, you're one bit closer than you were before." admonished Luna before the ringing of the bell could be heard from their home in the distance past the shit covered buildings and houses. "And that signals that evil has been vanquished. Or that Spike has gotten into the bell tower." she said, putting the coin into her rob pocket before looking to the two girls "Let's go home."

"Finally." said Sunset, tilting her head side to side to crack her neck before spotting a police woman that had not only managed to avoid getting his with shit but was also pretty cute. "Officer... Night Glider I see." she said, smirking and linking an arm with the blushing woman's, dragging her along.

"Don't forget, you owe me part of your allowance." Twilight reminded as they began to head back.

"Yeah, yeah. After a nice, long pat down from Officer Night Glider~"

Author's Note

SO yeah, I didn't want to totally rip off PSG but put a spin on it to make it entertaining.

I also intensely debated. To stripper pole or to not stripper pole?

Hopefully it works. XD