1000 Ways To Die

Date: July 17, 2004
Location: Las Pegasus, Chemical’s Secret Hideout

Las Pegasus. You know what they say what happens there stays there. It's where you can gamble, drink, eat and of course, have sex. Now get your mind out of the gutter because we're not talking about that. Meet Chemical, A mare that graduated college at the age of 17. She was smart with chemicals, but instead of helping science she was making toxic drugs. She also loved the drugs she made and loved how it made her feel

She would usually stay up some nights and sell her drugs to ponies on vacation. However, when she didn't sleep she would start to hallucinate. She would stay up five to six days straight and that is just plain dangerous. One day, she saw the cops were looking for ponies trying to sell some things. She needed to hide her drugs to keep selling them. She came up with an idea. She ordered some Apples from Sweet Apple Acres and began injecting them with drugs. This was a brilliant plan right...Well let’s Just say she decided to taste an apple she just injected with drugs.

"Let's taste this thing out." Chemical said biting down on the Apple.

*Kaboom!!!*

The Apple piece she bit off exploded in her mouth, making her jaw explode off her hinges. What happened? Well since Chemical was so drowsy from not getting enough sleep she didn't know she was not injecting the apples with drugs. She accidentally was filling them with liquid red phosphorus, a liquid found on explosives. I guess I forgot to mention her hideout was a dump that use to be where a gun shop was. She accidentally mixed up her chemicals and was using the wrong one. When she bit down on the apple with the force of 100 pounds, she ignited the explosive phosphorus and made her jaw come right off her hinges. Her brain was hurt from the explosion damaging the cerebral cortex making her bleed out.

Chemical should have put her brains into some other things than drugs. Looks like she bit off...More than she could chew. Hey Chemical, I think you should see a dentist...Actually maybe a doctor...Oh never mind she's seeing The Undertaker.

Way To Die #11: Jaw Breaker