Three and a Half Mares

"I give up!" groaned Luna. "Can we go back to Ponyville?"

Celestia shrugged. "I don't know if we'll be able to get back. I think we're pretty lost. And it would be rude to leave before Clover gets back."

"But she's been gone for-"

There was a flash of purple and Clover appeared in front of them. Celestia stared. "What the-"

"Oh, I went for a quick fl-stroll, and then my w-my legs got tired so I decided to teleport back."

"Unicorns can teleport?" asked Sparkleworks. "Cool!"

"They can?" asked Celestia. "My books must have been horribly inaccurate!"

"I can teleport because....err.....I'm StarSwirl's apprentice and he's been making new spells with me."

"Alright...." mumbled Kimono. "Now, we were thinking of going back to Ponyville soon-"

"I wouldn't," interupted Clover. "Princess Platinum's looking for servants and Earthponies are her first choice."

Kimono looked up. "Really?"

"Yeah-"

"We should launch a rescue mission!" cheered Luna.

"No- That won't be nessecary- They're being treated well-"

"When can we send the rescue party?" asked Sparkleworks.

"Err- In a few days, we need to draw up a plan-"

"Special delivery for Pri-"

Clover turned to see a grey cross-eyed Pegasus with spiky yellow hair hovering behind her, a package in her front hooves. The second Clover heard her begin to speak, she glared. The Pegasus shut up.

"What are you doing here?" hissed Clover. "You haven't been born for thousands of years!"

"I'm a very devoted mailmare."

"Devoted enough that you broke physics and the time-space continuum?"

"Yes."

"But how?"

"I'm good at time travel. I was a full grown mare the day of the Sonic Rainboom, you know. And a filly when Apple Bloom got the Cutie Pox."

"But-"

"Just take the package before I dr-"

The rest of her speech was cut off by the sound of the package hitting the floor as she dropped it. "Err, never mind. I'd better go now."

She flew off happily. Celestia stared. "Sonic Rainboom? Cutie Pox? I've never heard of them! And I checked the birth and death records, there's nopony in Ponyville called Apple Bloom!"

Luna rolled her eyes. "Didn't our parents very clearly say not to check the birth records of everypony in Ponyville before we moved?"

"Yes, well, er......Look, I can break rules sometimes too!"

Sparkleworks ignored them. "What's in the box?"

Clover shruged, sitting down and using her front hooves to tear apart the cardboard. Within seconds of opening it, he popped out. Sparkleworks would have assumed he was Spike if it wasn't for his purple scales and green spines. "A dragon!" yelped Luna. "Coooool! Canipetit? Can I? Pleeeeaaaaseee?"

"No!" snapped Clover, rolling her eyes. She turned to the dragon. "Any letters?"

"Only a few," the dragon answered, before shooting green flames into the air through his mouth. The fire in the air looked like it was going to burn away and vanish, but instead revealed a scroll. Clover grabbed it, quickly reading over it. "Next!"

The dragon nodded, doing the same thing again. And again. And again. The dragon made the letter appear from the fire, Clover read it, and the process repeated. "Gee," mumbled Sparkleworks after an hour or so. "Somepony's got a lot to say to her!"

This snapped Clover back to her senses and turned to them. "Oh, sorry, I forgot to introduce you. You three, this is my pet dragon, Spi- Thorn. Thorn, this is Sparkleworks-" she gestured to Sparkleworks- "and this is Luna and Celestia."

She didn't gesture to either of the sisters, but Thorn still seemed to know which was which somehow. He gave Clover what looked like a look of disbelief and she nodded. "Wow!" he yelled.

He ignored Sparkleworks and rushed over to Celestia and Luna, jumping onto Celestia's head, staring into her eyes and tugging at her mane. He then jumped down, staring at Luna's tail and then her flank. Celestia growled. He ignored her.

Clover nervously stepped forward. "Err, Spi- Thorn, in this culture ponies find it rude to stare at one's flank...."

"Oh!" shouted Thorn in realisation. "Sorry- you see, where I come from, ponies show off their Cutie Marks, so a bit of flank-staring is normal for us-.Don't worry, I'm married-"

"Married?" asked Clover. "You and Rarity?"

"Yes."

"She doesn't even know you like her!"

"We're married in my head."

"Riiiiight....."

Thorn ignored her, taking a quill pen out of nowhere and grabbing one of the letters, writing something on the back and breathing green fire onto it. It burned away and vanished within seconds. Clover sighed. "Spi- Thorn! Have you no tact?"

"I have loads of-"

He stopped mid-sentence and shot out a burst of fire, which burned away in the air to reveal a scroll. Clover grabbed it. "She says we should-"

Before she finished, she used her magic to tear the top half of the letter off, and then gave it to Celestia. "Listen to me. On the twenty-second of March, 2017, on Wednesday, a stupid dragon will send you a very stupid letter. You have to send him back this."