Three and a Half Mares
Unlucky number+17: Car Puns Drive Me Crazy
Previous ChapterNext Chapter"Can't we just graze?"
Sweetheart shook her head. "Clover's still recovering, she needs proper food.....and I want grapes."
Patch rolled her eyes. "Fine, but I'm not going. You two can go without me."
Sweetheart nodded, trotting off. Teddy followed. "So..." he muttered, gesturing to her stomach. "Can we call it Lukewarm?"
She stared. "Why?"
"Because then I can say-"
She sighed. "Teddy, we are really truly not choosing a foal name entirely based on you getting to say something that really truly didn't even happen in the movie!"
He rose onto his hind legs. "Luke, I am your father-"
"No, Teddy, just.....no."
"Okay.....How about Springtrap? Or Psychic Friend Fredbear?"
"What? No!"
"Rapidash Pikachu?"
"No!"
"What about-"
"No!"
Soon they found themselves pushing the door open. Sweetheart trotted inside, grabbing a nearby bag only for Teddy to snatch it from her. "I seem to remember that the stallions do the lifting, m'lady."
She rolled her eyes. "If you insist."
Half an hour and many, many grape arguments later, they were trotting back to the others and dumping the bag on the ground. "So," asked Patch excitedly. "Can we go and find the flying ponies?"
"Not yet," decided Sweetheart, grabbing a handful of grapes. "We can't just go now, without a plan. Maybe if we can find out where they live...."
"Remember the ones we saw flying above us? They were going that way!" She pointed. She was already shaking a little, sugar high from excitement. "C'mon!"
She looked half ready to gallop off. Sweetheart sighed. "Clover, do you think you'll be able to walk yet?"
"Err.....I'm not sure...." the purple mare mumbled. She stood up, shaking as she pressed her injured leg to the ground. A tiny whimper escaped her and she quickly shifted her weight onto her front legs. "It...it's like there's something moving in my flank...."
She shuddered. But she knew once Patch was in this mood, nothing was stopping her. Sure enough, soon she found herself on Patch's back, bouncing a little as the peach pony trotted excitedly.
"Next stop: Pegasi!"
"Great, you brought something other than chocolate- great, you brought chocolate- hey, why'd you bring her?"
Sundance blushed. "I'm Sundance."
"She said she has to take us somewhere," explained Bright Eyes. "Some Dream Valley place. It's probably just some crappy village with no shops to steal from, but she seems pretty keen on it."
"I'm right here!"
"Seriously?" choked Starlight. "You agreed to go to some place you've never heard of on the word of her? She could be psychotic, she could be manipulating us, she could be an idiot-"
"I'm literally right here!"
"Hey, I never said I was happy about it! It wasn't my choice!"
"I'm right here, guys!"
"You could have said no and trotted off!"
"I'M RIGHT HERE!"
They all turned to Sundance.
"I am taking you all to Dream Valley whether you like it or not! Sorry, but I'm just following orders!"
She trotted forward. The others shrugged and followed.
"So," asked Bright Eyes. "How long do you expect this trip to last?"
"Err, I dunno..... a while......maybe a few weeks?"
They stopped dead, glancing at each other. This was another reason to deny it. They outnumbered Sundance four to one, they could fight her off if they had to. Yet each one of them felt like this was the right thing to do. What if Dream Valley was amazing?
Silence.
Well, almost.
The scratching of Bonbon's pen as she leaned on the ground to write for Melody, and Starlight's mutters of explanation, but apart from that, silence. Melody's eyes darted up from the paper, and she grinned. "I have a terrible idea."
She waited for all the eyes to turn to her. "Clover's dad always leaves his car door open."
They all stared at her.
"No!" snapped Starlight. "That's- I'm okay with underage driving in situations like this, but we're not stealing! Not from Clover! Not after we had that fight! We can find another car, there must be keys to at least one car in the remains of the houses-"
"What's a car?" asked Sundance. They ignored her.
"Well," said Bright Eyes. "If you remember, most of us wouldn't know where our car keys are now, because our parents drove us to your house and probably put them God knows where. And we know for a fact your car survived."
"There is no way we are going back to my house!" Starlight declared.
Before long they were back at Starlight's house.
"Yes!" yelled Bonbon, galloping for the car. "I call shotgun!"
"So this is a car?" muttered Sundance.
Starlight tapped Bright Eyes' shoulder, holding out her hoof expectantly. "Bag."
The blue pony stared for a second, then lifted the brown bag off of her shoulder and handed it over. Starlight lifted it around her neck and trotted inside, ignoring the open door to her bedroom as she took her keys off the kitchen bench, then glanced back. Some of her stuff might still be in one piece.....
She bit her lip, glanced out the window, and galloped.
Her room. The same bed, her phone and a few others (probably her friend's) lazily thrown onto it. Bags in the corner. Her chest of drawers, her clothes falling onto the floor. She grabbed a few jumpers and shoved them into her bag before grabbing the phones, randomly turning them on. Of course, they were all flat.
That was when she saw it.
Her typewriter, the one she had saved up for for the last year, broken in half. She had only gotten it for the history behind it, and to avoid having to write everything up for school, but all that time she spent saving up, all those hours of working to afford it.....worthless.
She remembered all her adventures. Helping the others to get out of the ditch, trying to find the polluter, assuring Bonbon she didn't think her costume was silly.......if they all died, would it all be for nothing? Now that were being faced with mortal danger, was all her efforts to get Ace to like her meaningless?
"Starlight?"
She turned. It was Bright Eyes. "Yeah- I was just thinking...."
"What about?"
"Well....Bright Eyes, if the- the two-legs.....if they all kill us tomorrow, will that make everything we did meaningless in the end?"
"Well....err....Starlight, maybe you're right. Maybe in the grander scheme of things, we don't matter. Maybe the universe couldn't care less what we think. But you know what? Nopony asked the universe's opinion."
"What does that mean?"
"No idea, but it sounded good, right?"
Starlight giggled, trotting outside. Sundance was staring at the car. "What's the point of this? Does it teleport you if you get inside?"
Bright Eyes rolled her eyes, taking the keys and opening the door to the driver's seat. "So, who's driving?"
"Driving?" asked Sundance eagerly. "What does that mean?"
"Well, not her!" giggled Bonbon, lifting her pen for a second before continuing to write. "And I get motion sickness, so I'm out."
"Audio cues could save our lives," muttered Melody. "So it's you and Starlight."
"Dad would kill me if I let someone else drive!" decided Starlight. "Granted, he would also kill me if I drove the car, but this isn't normal circumstances. I'll drive."
She sat down and slammed the door closed, leaning over to open the opposite door and gesturing to Sundance, who awkwardly sat down in the seat.
"You're supposed to close the door."
Sundance blushed, pulling the door closed.
"And....see that black thing? You're meant to pull it over yourself- see, in this little red thing, you- oh, let me do it-"
"Have you really never seen a car before?" asked Bright Eyes as she put her seatbelt on.
"Err, no. Why, should I have? What does it do?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Where exactly is Dream Valley?"
"It's just another part of Ponyland. Why, are they common- HOLY CRAP WE'RE MOVING!"
Everypony jumped. "Sorry," apologised Sundance. "but I've never seen anything like this before! This is so amazing! What magic spell did you use to make it? I've got to teach Twilight, she'll be-"
"Sundance, which way do we go?"
"Oh, sorry. Left."
