NOTE: The first few chapters of this story are somewhat poorly written. Just stick with it; it gets less cringy later on.

I woke up in a forest. A dark forest. 'Why am I in a forest?' I stood up and looked at what I was wearing. It was camouflage. I was dressed like a soldier. 'Why am I dressed like a soldier?' I wondered. Then I noticed two green lights peeking out from an area of bushes a few yards in front of me. A lupine shape made of wood stepped out of the bushes. 'That's a timberwolf,' I thought. 'Since when are timberwolves real?' When it started to approach, I realized that it probably wasn't smart to stay near it, so I backed away slowly. Okay, not really; I ran for my life.

Meanwhile in Ponyville, a certain pink pony's ears rang. She jumped into the air, gasped, and ran off into the distance, knowing this could mean only one thing.

As I ran at full tilt, darting between the trees, I took a glance behind me to see if the timberwolf was following me. It was, and to make things worse, I ran straight into a tree. Not a moment I like looking back on. The world spun for a few seconds, but I recovered just in time to see the timberwolf jumping toward me. I screamed and ran to the side. The timberwolf slammed into the tree and was smashed into pieces. I ran off again, this time not looking back for any reason. I didn't stop until I had exited the forest.

"A timberwolf? I asked myself, breathing heavily. "What the heck? Timberwolves don't exist! They only exist on..." I trailed off when I saw a fair-sized village in the distance. It looked eerily familiar. And cartoonish. "Is that-? No, it can't be... But it would explain the-" I was cut off when a pink blur slammed into me, knocking off my glasses.

"Hiya!" the blur said in a high voice, pinning me to the ground. "My name's Pinkie Pie. What's yours?"

"Huh?" I replied, dazed from the impact. "What's going... where am I?"

"Right now you're juuust outside the Everfree Forest."

"The what?"

"The Everfree Forest. You know, weird forest where weird stuff happens weirdly."

I just stared for a second. "Could you please let me up?"

"Oops, sorry." The blur got off of me.

I got onto my hands and knees and tried to find my glasses. After I found them and put them on, what the blur had been saying finally clicked. I got up and looked straight at it. Surprise, surprise, there stood a pink, cartoonish pony with ridiculously curly hair and light blue eyes. "Sweet Celestia," I said before fainting.

I awoke when I fell into a cold body of water. It was a shallow area, about two feet deep, but it was enough to wake me up. I panicked a bit, but managed to get upright. "Sorry!" I heard from the shore. "Sometimes I underestimate my bounces."

I turned to the voice. Pinkie. Of course. "What just happened?"

"You fainted, so I was carrying you to town on my back, but then I started bouncing, and you flew off."

"It's okay, everyone- err, I mean everypony makes mistakes. Quite frankly, I'm not surprised in the least considering who I'm talking to." It took me a second to remember that, last time I checked, I didn't live in Equestria. "I'm talking to Pinkie Pie, how is this possible!?"

She stared at me for a second. "What do you mean?"

"Uhh..."

"No wait, lemme guess. You're not from this world but another world where I'm a fictional character, you have no idea how or why you're here, you're amazed at the fact that you're really talking to a fictional character, and now you've got weird powers."

"... Had anypony else said that, I'd question it. From you, it's just par for the course." She giggled a little. "Hold it, what was that last part?"

"Oops. You don't know that yet. My bad."

I walked out of the water. "You know what? I'm just going to pretend I never heard it. I don't suppose you just stumbled onto me at random."

"No, my Pinkie Sense told me that an alien was coming, so I came to find you and throw you a welcome-to-Equis party."

"Equis?"

"The planet you're on."

"Ah. Figures. What's your Sense for aliens?"

"Ringing in the ears."

"Huh." I looked at the sky, seeing that it was about noon. "Let's go to Ponyville, I guess."

"Okay. I still need to throw you that party anyway." We started walking toward Ponyville. While we were still a bit away, Pinkie noticed something. "What's that thing on your hip?"

"Huh? Thing on my-?" I looked for what she was asking about, and my eyes found a metal cylinder. I grabbed it and held it in front of me. "Is this...?" I held it at arm's length and pressed a button on it. A yellow beam extended from one end. "Sweet Celestia..."

"Sooooo, what is it?"

"A lightsaber... I have a lightsaber..." My mouth formed a wide smile. "I have a lightsaber!" I turned off the blade and punched the air several times excitedly.

"What's a lightsaber?"

"It's like a sword, but the blade's made of plasma."

"Plasma?"

"For easy comparison, it's like fire. Hotter than hot fire."

"Oooooooooh. Can I see it?"

"Be careful," I said, handing it to her.

She grabbed it in her hooves and looked at it. "Neat." She handed (hoofed?) it back to me.

"You have no idea." We walked the rest of the way to Ponyville.

"You don't happen to have anywhere to stay, do you?" she asked

"At the moment, no."

"You can stay with me if you want."

I smiled. "Thanks." We walked past the Golden Oaks Library, and a thought occurred to me that somehow hadn't yet. "When are we?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've seen that library destroyed in the work of fiction I know you from, but it's here now."

"Oh. Hmm. The Summer Sun Celebration is coming up. It's being hosted here this year. Ooh, that rhymes!"

"Have you heard of Nightmare Moon?"

"No. Should I have?"

"It's unlikely that you'd forget her, so no. Not yet. When is the Summer Sun Celebration?"

"It's in a week."

"A week, huh?"

"Yup." We reached Pinkie's house.

"Then I have time to give you some forewarnings."

"What kind of forewarnings?"

"First, I'm gonna have to tell you the tale of Nightmare Moon."

We went into her house. It was gonna be a long day.

Author's Note

Behold: the first chapter of my first story on here! Huzzah! Also, yes I gave Pinkie a Pinkie Sense for "Alien incoming." It's times like this that I question my own sanity.