It's been a long time since you've seen a new face in Ponyville, but sure enough, there she finally is. The little pale yellow mare is facing away from you, but you've seen her from across the marketplace before, and you're sure she's the new gal that all your friends are talking about. You've never gotten a good look at her face, just a flash of dark hair and rosy cheeks, a girlish giggle, and the lilting sound of a foreign language floating up above the crowd. Supposedly she's from a far away land, and her people are called the Japonies, but other than that, you don't know much about her.
Well, okay, you do know one other thing: You gotta get you some of that.
You're too used to all the ponies around here, and you've stuck your dick in most of the interesting ones by now. The rainbow one was pretty hard to catch, too, had to get a butterfly net to drag that one down. But in the end, they all fell under the swing of your sword and you managed to bust one in pretty much all the ponies around these parts. But not this one. This one is new, foreign, exotic. Unsullied by your sausage wand.
Seeing her now, knowing you can approach, you're almost a little giddy. Do you play it cool and try to seduce her, or do you just go up, tell her you want some fucc, and go to town on her? Both seem to work here, these submissive little creatures rarely fight back. You once again tell yourself not to wonder if the comparatively small size of your equipment might be why they don't protest much. Musings for when you can't sleep again and want to roll in the self hatred again. For right now, there's a fresh pony puss that needs your attention.
With a nod of determination, you go up to the mare, deciding to play it a little cool at first, and gently tap her on the shoulder.
"Hey there, I just wanted to welcome you to town. I know it's hard being new and..."
You trail off as she turns to face you.
To your dismay, you find that her eyes are drastically slanted, and are little more than slits. In fact, they don't even look open at all! Her black hair is in a long tight braid, that stands almost straight out of the back of her head like a rat tail, and she has massive horse teeth, more massive than horse teeth usually are. That extend from her upper lip like piano keys, and you're pretty sure you could play them like a xylophone if you really wanted to.
It's everything you've ever seen in any racist depiction of asians all your life. It's like some hand specifically created her this way to be insulting! You're hardly the nicest guy, but you know better than to use such vulgar stereotypes as the ones this creature fully represents. It's all you can do not to recoil in horror.
"Oh!" she says lightly. "Herro! Yes I new to Ponnyvirre, who ah you?"
You bite down on your tongue so hard that your eyes water to keep from laughing. Fucking christ, this has to be some sort of prank. This can't be real. No one can be THIS much of a caricature! Sure, all the ponies here are basically shallow tropes, but none of them are this completely degrading! At least on Earth, Asian women are hot, why wouldn't Asian ponies be hot?! Where are the giant anime eyes? The cute tiny nose! The shining hair, elf-like face! This is nothing like your Japanese cartoons!
"Er," You say haltingly. "I'm... Anon."
She seems to brighten a little, her teeth growing ever larger as her smile widens.
"Oh! I hear of you from the others! You very big popurar in Ponyvirre. Much friendry. I am Pearl Harbor, very happy to greet you."
A ripple of horrified, confused laughter slips through your lips, like you're a strangled coyote. Luckily she does not seem to notice. You don't even know how to handle... whatever THIS is. This, THIS is like something out of an early 40's Loony Toons propaganda clip, about how Japs are Nazi devils! You give her an appraising glance, trying to see if she's waiting to drop any other bombs on you.
"It's nice to meet you too... uh... so I was wondering..."
You pause once more, and re-evaluate your next move. Do you really need to be trying to talk this mare into bed? She's exotic, maybe in a way, but she's also... just so horrifying. And her mere existence feels like a slight against your moral sensibilities. Are you really that desperate?
A slight bulge in the front of your pants tells you that you are. Fine fine, you win this round, Penis. Again. With a sigh, you continue with your original plan.
"I was thinking, since you're new here, I should show you our special initiation."
"Speshur initiation?" She says with a cock of her head. "What I must do?"
Just don't think about that nasally voice. Don't think about the horrible fake-sounding accent that would make all PR experts and cartoon censors cringe. Just focus on getting your dick wet, that's the only way you'll get through this.
"Just turn around and keep your mouth shut, I'll do the rest," you say from between gritted teeth.
"Okay," she says with a shrug. "Whatevah you tink best."
Not nearly quickly enough, she turns around and you gaze upon her lovely, petite and plump rear. Ah yes, this is what you've been searching for, at least this seems reasonable. You unsheathe your dick, knowing this is one kamikaze attack she won't see coming. Sure enough, she gives a weird little squawking yelp as you grab her by her tail and pull her sharply towards you so you can get good access to her...
Once again, you stop in your tracks, just staring.
By all that is unholy and forsaken in this world, but Merlin's trembling member itself... there is no denying that her pussy is slanted. Yes. Definitely slanted. It's barely a thin slit, and it's tilted diagonally, just like her her barely-open eyes. Her rump shudders a little, and you see the whole thing open like half a centimeter. Was... was that a wink? Dear god it's so slitted and slanted that she can't even wink properly!
It doesn't really look tight, or virginal, just long and excruciatingly narrow, like somebody drew it on there without ever seeing a real vagina. And what's worse, there are tiny black hairs curling out from the center, all the way along it, like the stubby eyelashes on her face. In fact, it looks almost exactly like those excuses for eyes she has on her face! You're pretty sure her creator just slapped another eye on there instead of giving her a bone hole!
You stare, grimacing at the odd display of misaligned pussy, then finally glance up to see her staring at you. At least... you think she's staring at you, it's hard to tell with how shut her eyes are. There's a moment of silence as you regard each other, then...
"...you gon wassabi my pea yet or what?"
You throw up your hands and quickly walk away, dick still hanging out of your pants. Nope. Nope, you can't do it.
That's one harbor you won't be docking in anytime soon.
-End-
Author's Note
I am sorry. I really should be more sorry, but eh. I'm not.
Remember kids, racial stereotypes are bad, m'kay?
-Pencil
