Author's Note

wow, I was expecting a bigger uproar for the impending chapter, guess it means everyone's cool with me making it! so here you go.

Chapter 9: TAKEDOWN TIME!

Alright, settle down and listen to the tale of how Orgran beat the shit out of the Caribou and completely Retconned season 5 onward because of it.

Alright, after I got my bond with Pine good enough so he wouldn’t kill something until I told him, I went to deal with the village referred to as only ‘Our Town’, because half of me felt pity for the ponies living there losing their unique skills and their own destinies because of some heartbroken unicorn growing spiteful. Although she could have a more tragic backstory than what was shown on TV like abusive parents or something, moving on.

My other half thought the idea was REALLY stupid!

Okay, think about it, if everypony here was equal, that would mean equal cooking skills, equal speed, equal strength, equal magic skills and most importantly.

Equal combat skills.

So considering that the baker in the village makes something that could make Pinkie Pie gag, and she eats burnt cupcakes no problem, that does not bode well for their defensive skills. In case you haven’t noticed, Our Town is actually located in the mountains, that’s Harpy and Dragon territory, and even if the creature was not indigenous to the mountains, without the capability to fight off an overly affectionate dog, these ponies wouldn’t stand a chance and would be easy pickings to anything that took an interest in them, and if you argue that Starlight Glimmer could do something, oh yeah, ONE magically adept unicorn really helps their chances when the only offensive spell she has is removing cutie marks. Needless to say if anything attacked the village they would stand no chance.

So when I found the village and the Caribou scouting party, I wasn’t surprised to see they were already celebrating their victory with a feast and an orgy. Mares were either used as tables, servers or cocksleeves, the only stallions that hadn’t willingly joined the Caribou had their throats slit, so they couldn’t brainwash them, good news for me. One thing that caught my eye though.

These weren’t the ponies I’ve seen before.

What I mean is that every pony I’ve met so far has walked on four hooves and looked just like in the show, these ponies in the village however have some strange dark magic residue coating them and are completely anthropomorphic, meaning the Caribou had some method of making entities anthro, they used it on themselves and are now using it on the rest of Equestria just to subjugate them.

Interesting… I’ll need to relieve them of that, but first I had to find Starlight.

After a moment of surveying the rather stained landscape I discover her in a cage, changed like her followers, her cutie mark is revealed and she was in tears over her cut horn, she’s bound and gag ceremoniously, meaning she’s going to be a gift for the king. I felt my honour and kindness punch me in the heart, at which point I knew what I had to do.

I send Pine back home and walk down to the center of town and call out to the invaders. “CARIBOU! COME OUT AND FACE ME!” all of the antlered bastards reluctantly leave their ‘toys’ and head to where I am, fully armored with spears at my direction, followed by the leader walking into the circle they’ve made.

“Yes?” he says, irritation clear in his deep voice. “What is it? We’re rather busy.”
“I can see that ya amber-bellied poultry!”
“What?” ha! I called him a yellow-bellied chicken and he’ll never know!
“What I’m not happy about is what you’re busy with! I have a question and a challenge, the first! How did you manage to change these ponies?” I ask.
“Simple, we have gems of dark magic in our sacks, take one out and plant them in the earth, then watch as the sapient beings become the perfect form, for male power and female subjugation.” he says, all of them pulling out cloth sacks radiating dark energy.
“Well I don’t want anything to do with your sacks.”
“What?” two for two! Though I felt a bit sick after that joke.
“The point is, I’m challenging you to a duel, if I win, you give me your gems, the ponies, and you take your sorry butts out of Equestria.

My anger boiled when they started laughing. “And what makes you think we would take your challenge?” the leader says, the Caribou readying their spears to impale me.
“Because if you win I will let you have my bride.”
They laugh harder. “We have Equestria to conquer, what’s one more pony?”
“Because without me you’ll never find her, and me and her aren’t ponies, we’re Dwarves.”
“So?”
“So, there’s only two in existence.”

That stopped their laughing immediately. “The only female Dwarf in existence?” the leader pondered. “Such an exotic creature as a trophy would put me in line for the throne for sure!”
“And no training required, Dwarves pride themselves on strength, you merely show your stronger and she’ll be more willing than a purple collar.”
My fist tightens. Relax Orgran, you can kill them later, just keep up the con.
The leader grins. “Very well, may I have the name of my opponent?”
“Orgran the Red.”
“Well, Orgran, let us hope you haven’t actually proposed.”
I grit my teeth. “Let’s just fight already.”

He chuckles and pulls out his sword as I pull out my axe, and as a silent bell rang in our heads, we rush at each other and clash.

It was no contest, I was naturally stronger, faster, and smarter, he was buckling under the force I was pushing onto him, unfortunately he also had antlers, I had to leap back to prevent myself from being gored. Now he was on the attack, going for quick precise jabs, going for gaps in my armor, I did block them but they still left cuts here and there. It was at this point that the blood loss was getting to me, I tried to stand through the weakness but I collapsed onto a knee, the Caribou leader looking down at me. “This fight is over, Dwarf, surrender now and I’ll let you say your goodbyes to your ex-wife.” he says as he points his sword to my throat.

I had enough of his attitude, in my mind it was only rage. Screw relaxing! SCREW RESTRAINT! KILL THEM!

“NO. YOU. WON’T!” I punch him, keeping my fist there. “GAUNTLET SPIKE!”

There was a click, then the sound of metal piercing flesh, bone, and then brain as the point of my pick gauntlet went through his skull then out the other side, then silence…

I slowly pulled my hand back as the spike retracts, the blood and gore falling off, leaving no trace of his brains on my gauntlet, and he falls to the ground. I got up, my magic healing me as I look to the shocked Caribou. “Will you honour his deal, or do I need to kill the rest of you?”

“GET HIM!” one of them cried as they all charge, I shake my head and ready my axe, leaping into the air and slamming down, leaving spikes of stones launching from the ground impaling most of them.

“FIST OF THE MOUNTAIN!” I make an uppercut motion and a fist of earth the size of a car erupts from the ground taking care of two more, I open my hand and slam it forward, the stone appendage mimicking my action, crushing another before I dispel it. I push one away with a wall of earth, smashing him against another, then for the final one I have two stone hands grab him by the shins and lift him up… over a boulder, his legs spread out.

“No! NO! MERCY!” he knew what was coming, I moved my arms down, making a breaking something over my knee motion, causing him to be slammed down.

That squeal was the sign of a Baritone becoming a Soprano in 0.3 seconds. I have the stone arms be dispelled, allowing him to fall over and try to recover, but I don’t let him as I grab him by the throat.

“You will go back to your king empty handed and tell him that Equestria is off limits, you will then travel the land and learn why I stopped you from enslaving mares by interacting with them and actually befriending them, and if I found you haven’t learned a thing the next time I see you, I will rip them off, understood?”

He nods frantically as I drop him to the ground, he scrambles for his clothes and essential gear before fleeing, and as he runs I hear cheering from behind. “All hail the hero of Our Town!” one of the mares proclaimed.

“Hold that thought.” I say as I walk over to the dead stallions, looking through Orgran’s memories for a certain spell used by an undead friend of his. “Aha! Found it.” I raise my hand over the cut throats and pour necrotic magic into the wounds, forcing them to seal but also causing the cuts the Caribou left on me to open further, as they cough and start breathing again I collapse to the floor and cough up some blood. “Stupid equal exchange bullshit, so lucky that Dwarves are endless.”

More cheers erupt. “Hooray for the hero!” a stallion calls out, revealing they only joined to survive, I smile and we party into the night, Starlight was unbound but remained in her cage for lying to the village, she was fed and given water but otherwise had to stay held, not that she couldn’t do anything without her horn.

That’s another thing, she’s the only one with a cut horn, guess with the equality cutie marks they saw no point in it.

It’s funny, Starlight’s plan saved her followers’ horns and wings… but not hers.

After everyone was asleep I headed to Starlight’s cage and ripped off the bars, waking her up. “What are you doing?” she asked, confused and scared.
“Giving you a second chance, I want to prove to you that cutie marks are not cruel and evil, but rather a force of friendship and good.”
She scowls at me. “And how could you begin to understand me?”
I grin. “Sunburst was your friend for so long, and just because he had to leave did you really think he wanted to leave?”

Starlight’s eyes bug out but I don’t let her respond. “I will explain later, but I want to know if you’re with me.” I reach my hand out to her, and after a moment she takes it, sealing our unspoken pact, and as such I use my healing magic to restore her horn.
“Wha-how did you-”
“Later, for now I think you have held their talents captive for too long.” she looks down and nods solemnly as she proceeds to lead me to the cave where she held their cutie marks. I gesture to the glass case and with a spell the cutie marks are freed, returning back to their owners.

As we hear the cries of joy at the return of their unique selves, tears formed in Starlight’s eyes. I sigh and put a hand on her shoulder. “Come, let us go home, you have much to learn.”